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She was here. Constance had shown up only minutes after my vision, beating me to the ground against the wall. It scared me how similar it was to my vision. And I was again slumped against the brick wall crying, now with my mother standing over me.

"Mama, mama, please. Please," It was all I could say all I could think. God, please don't let her tell Violet. My Violet… "Mama, you can't tell her, you can't."

"You cheated on that sweet girl with her mother. You got her pregnant." Her voice was harsh and uncaring, scolding me into submission the way she always had.

The tears were thick on my face, "No, no," my voice was unsteady and I just kept shaking my head, "No. I didn't know Violet yet. I didn't, no… Mama, you can't."

"Boy you got yourself in a deep mess, and I can't get you out this time. What are you gonna tell Violet when Mrs. Harmon comes home with your child?"

"I love her. Violet, I love her. Vi, my Violet…" It was all I could think about. Everything was crumbing around me. I needed Violet to keep me sane. I needed help. I couldn't fix this.

"She's not yours, child. She can never be yours. She's alive Tate. She will leave this house and you will have nothing," she growled with her southern accent.

"No, no…" I could barely speak anymore. I just wanted Violet, to be in her bed with her arms wrapped around me. I wanted to sleep. Violet, my Violet…

"You're gonna get yourself out of this mess, boy. Mama can't help you now," Her voice was harsh and cold. She applied another hard smack to the back of my head before walking out.

I bowed my head into my knees, twining my fingers in my hair to nurse the warm spreading pain in my head. I could hear my sobs echo against the stone walls…

"Violet."

My head snapped up to see Tate standing at the foot of my bed. His face was drawn and his eyes were red, his cheeks glistening with fresh tears. He looked worse than the day he had told me he loved me.

I hadn't stayed pissed at him for long. The whole thing was bullshit. I wouldn't have freaked out if he was alive. I probably would have agreed that the precaution was necessary. I didn't need to be an even bigger high school fuck up by getting pregnant.

I didn't say anything to him as he stood there though. His chest was rising and falling raggedly with fresh sobs and I could see the light glint off of a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Violet," He sighed, an edge of relief in his voice as I looked at him, "Vi, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

I was confused. Why would he be so upset? "Its not a big deal Tate."

"No, no, Vi, you don't understand," He'd walked around to the side of my bed when he was apologizing and he took my arm frantically, "Vi you have to listen to me. I've done something," He paused a moment, seeming to swallow back tears, "Something bad."

My emotions were frozen in place. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't upset. I didn't know what I'd felt, "What happened?" My voice sounded lifeless.

"I can't protect you, Vi. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just please… You have to understand. Violet I love you. I love you."

"Tate, what did you do?" I demanded. I'd never seen him this vulnerable. He seemed like a small child, terrified by a father they fears will beat them. Fear was stricken in Tate Langdon's eyes.

"I can't, Vi. I-I can't…"

I pulled him into my arms, and felt him burry his soaked face into the junction between my neck and shoulder. I pulled him onto the bed and we lay down like that with his head on my shoulder. The room fell silent save for his gentle sobs.

I stood in the bathroom, once again in front of the mirror with the feeling that the girl staring back at me wasn't me.

I'd slipped out of the bed carefully, Tate sound asleep, his body no longer rocking with violent sobs. And now I was here, eyes ringed in red, modeling Tate's earlier state.

And there it was, reflecting back at me. It was so small, barely there at all but I felt as it it took over my whole field of vision. Just one little pink plus.

I threw it into the sink and shook another one out of the box quickly. I used it then paced frantically glancing at it every couple of seconds until there it was again. The little plus.

I ran down the hall to my mom's room, diving under the sink in her master bathroom and tearing through the cabinet until I found her stash of tests. I ran back to the bathroom and did them again and again until I could force myself to pee anymore, even after downing three full glasses of water.

I stared down at the tests piled in the sink, mocking me, 7 little pink pluses.

I gripped to the side of the sink as I sank to the floor, letting go with one as my knees hit the tile to run it through my hair. Tears were threatening in my eyes and I forced them back.

This couldn't be happening. I wasn't pregnant. This wasn't real.

I woke to Violet shaking my shoulder, trying to jostle me into wakefulness. My eyes opened slowly, still sore from crying so much.

When I Violet finally came into focus my eyes shot wide. She was laying there in just a tank top and a thin pair of underwear, her legs rubbing together lightly and her hand rested next her on the pillow. Then I saw it. I little red line on her wrist. It was fresh, still bleeding just barely. I could feel the urge pooling at the sight. The glistening blood on her wrist mixed with her scant wardrobe. I knew it wouldn't be long before my pants felt tight.

But then something broke in me. She'd cut again. I took her wrist harshly, looking at the cut, "Violet, what did you do," she didn't answer and I looked up to bore my eyes into hers, "you promised me, Vi."

"I'm sorry, I just…" She trailed off and my eyes fell to her chest rising and falling, only barely covered by her tin top. I looked back up to her eyes then leaned forward and placed a kiss softly on her lips. I was home, finally. After so much shit, I was sane again for just a moment.

Violet wrapped her hands in the front of my sweater and pulled me down on top of her until she rested softly on the bed. I started kissing her neck and running my hand slowly up her soft thigh. This felt right, calm. This was simple. There was nothing complicated about being with Violet. I loved her and she loved me. My mind could be clear here, even as it was clouded by the longing of my growing erection.

I sucked on a soft spot on her neck just as I reached her underwear and wrapped the waist band around my finger. She let out a gratifying half-moan-half-sigh as I began to pull them down before I stopped again. "Vi, where are the condoms?" I whispered, resting my head against hers.

"We don't need them anymore," she breathed back, pulling me down to kiss her by the back of her neck. I pulled back again after only a second, searching her eyes.

"What do you mean, Vi?" she didn't answer, just took one hand from behind my neck and placed it on her stomach, "Violet, what do you mean?" I propped myself up on both arms so that I wasn't touching her anymore, just hovering. She still didn't talk, just got that blank expression where I couldn't tell if she was bored or scared, "Violet, you tell me." I gripped her arm hard, hard enough to bruise, holding her eyes in mine, now filled with fire.

"Tate," she snapped. I knew I was hurting her.

"You tell me. I don't like lies Violet. You won't like it if I have figure it out on my own," My patience was growing short with her, which was rare. In truth I was scared. Scared that I already knew the answer. That I'd screwed up more than I ever thought.