A/N: Working on new stuff....moving and all....all kinda a whirlwind....let's see how Kaoru takes the news....

"I hardly remember that night that I was brought to Dad. I remember the fireworks going on, scaring me half to hell, but other than that it was all one big blur. But then Mom knocked on the door and after a few minutes someone opened it. My father was half drunk, though, as he always would, he carried himself fairly well. What struck me was his soft purple eyes and bright red hard, illuminated by the fireworks in the background. There was something about him that I could smell, that I could see. He took me in without question, probably because he was a man of morals and wasn't willing to abandon a child; a boy no less. It makes me wonder if it was really because I was his son, or just because it was some moral code. It was always hard to tell."

-Kenji Himura

11.

You really don't know how to react. People usually think they know, but really they don't. We react just so we can say that we tried, so that we can say that, from what happened, we acted as though we knew what we were trying to do. But usually we don't. Usually we stand there dumbfounded, staring on in wonder thinking if there was something better we could be doing. Thinking that maybe, just maybe, there would be a positive outcome from this.

That was me, standing looking at that boy. He looked up to me, his eyes begging me to do something. I don't think he knew I was his father at that moment. All he knew was that I was someone who was going to be taking care of him, and that his mother had dumped him here for whatever reason she felt was reasonable.

Kaoru had asked me who was at the door, and I assumed that maybe she would stay sitting on the porch giving me the opportunity to think about what I was going to tell her when I had to approach her about Kenji. My mind was wiped though. I was drunk, my hormones were raging, and there was a two year gnawing on my calf.

"Kenshin?"

Kaoru had come up to me. The fireworks had finished and she was tired of waiting for me to come back to her and start kissing her again. I picked up the boy so he would stop biting my leg, but also so Kaoru could see him. We stared each other down, Kaoru stopping in her tracks to look at the small boy cradled in my arms awkwardly, trying to squirm away from my grip. I lowered my head and tentatively took a step toward her, not knowing what else I could do.

"Ken--who is that?" she asked, like he were one of the guys from the restaurant, except she knew all the guys. I cleared my throat and wondered if maybe I should give her some obscure answer, or reason, as to why there was a two year now whining in my arms. I sighed again.

"I--he's my son," I said. She looked at me dumbfounded, her brows furrowing as she mouthed the word 'son' like she didn't know what the word was. But she did know what the word meant after a few moments, and her furrowed brows unfurrowed at me. "I...I know that this seems a little crazy but, after you left, I needed something." I was being weak. i had no reason to explain to her why I had fathered a son, but then again, she was my wife. It was better than her beating me over the head and making me tell her why this crying boy was here. "I had a girlfriend but, it was a...it really wasn't a relationship at all. It was just...I needed something to fill the void and...well..."

"You had sex with her?"

"Yeah."

"And..." she grabbed the boy from my arms, bouncing him to try and stop his whining. He looked back at me, his dark eyes asking me why I wasn't doing something to make him feel better. Or maybe that was what I wanted to think that he was saying.

Truthfully it was just guilt. I was standing in front of my wife, watching her cradle this boy and calm him. She didn't need to do a thing. It wasn't her son, or her problem to deal with. I stepped closer to her, grabbing her arm warmly. "I'm sorry if..."

"You don't need to be," she told me softly. She cooed to the boy, singing under her breath to him. He was starting to fall asleep agter the crying was silenced. No doubt he was tired. Tomoe had probably kept him up all day and night until she brought him to me. Just as it hurt her to part with him, it hurt me take him away from his mother. Kaoru handed him over to me, his leaning on my shoulder. "I mean, we weren't married and...we all find people."

I should have known that Kaoru would understand. "Ah." I said, walking over to the couch where I laid the boy and covered him up. "His name's Kenji..." I drawled off, my knuckles running down the boy's cheek gently. It may have hurt on both sides, but also on both sides we realized that this was for the best. He would be much more well receipted on my side of the family. He had my hair, Kaoru's eyes. No one really would need to ask too many questions. I also realized that it was much safer for Tomoe that Kenji was with me. She was probably facing the threats of death within her own family for having a child of bad blood. I humbly accepted that it was my fault that for putting her in danger.

Kaoru leaned over my shoulder, her hands running down my chest. "We're gonna need more space," she said. I looked around the small apartment. I had gotten it for myself alone, so with Kaoru here it was already a little cramped. I nodded to her, lifting up.

"We'll start looking soon," I said to her, knowing whatever she wanted she was going to get. "We better go to bed, I have work tomorrow," I announced. Part of me still wanted to believe that maybe all this was a dream that would go away. The other side was seeing the reality of it though. I was a father, and I would have to be a father. I strong man for my little boy. What was more was that I needed to make sure I started grooming my son from the get go to be art of the world that he was going to be part of eventually. My son was art of a world that dealth with the black market; with the dank and the dark and deceitful. But then, I was proud that I would be able to serve the family like I was suppose to. An heir myself, I would have to give an heir for when my time would run out. I smiled.

"He's adroable," I muttered to myself.

The next morning I was up before the sun, creeping out of bed hoping not to disturb my wife and son. Kaoru had Kenji pressed against her chest, his head rested in the crook under her neck. I showered and dressed for the day, going out into the living room, buttoning up my shirt. That was when a silent rap came on the door. I didn't really want to answer it, being I wasn't really anxious for any more surprises, but so I wouldn't wake Kaoru or Kenji I opened the door. There stood Aoshi, his face as neutral as ever.

"Can I help you with something?"

He pushed his way into the living room, prompting me to close the door. Aoshi stood with his hands in his pockets as he said: "We need to talk."

I knew it more by the way that he said what he said. It was important, whatever it was, so I offered for him to sit down. He declined my offer, standing by the recliner and taking in a deep breath.

"Who's we?" I asked, glancing out my balcony window as I looped a belt through the holes in my pants. My back was turned to Aoshi, not wanting to look at him and get an indication at what news he was bringing me. "Is it about the family?"

"We should go outside," Aoshi suggested. It was raining this early in the morning, so I looked back to him, hoping that he would have an umbrella. He lifted it up and pointed toward the door. I rolled my eyes. Whatever this was it was serious and he couldn't leave without telling me what it was.

We went outside, the rain pelting down on the ground, whittling away at the cement. Aoshi held the umbrella over me, leaning in close. He looked around cautiously as we started up the street. It was barren except for the stray car. At six in the morning, I had nothing else to expect. After several moments of admiring the scenery I turn to Aoshi and asked:

"What's the message?"

Often times, so that we could keep each other safe, messages would be sent out through another member, a third party deal. Aoshi was tense, and so was I in respond. He straightened his back and said: "The bells are ringing."

My ears twitched. It was a code that signalled a gathering of some sort, one that was mandatory for all family members. I nodded my head silently and began walking again, planning to turn around when I hit the corner. A patrol car was stopped at a red light, Aoshi and I looking over discreetly. The police had become more abundant around my apartment complex as of late. "Why?" I asked, standing still. Aoshi shook his head. "Who?" He shook his head once again. "Should I bring my wife?"

"Yes." he handed me an envelope. It was unmarked and unsealed. I tucked it into my pocket and nodded, turning around after the police officer went on.

"Will you be there?"

"Yes."

I shrugged my shoulders, unkinking my neck. "You wanna know something interesting?" I asked him, trying to get off the subject of the meeting. I was already dreading the very thought of it. Mandatory meetings were usually held twice a year, and members were alerted the when and the where in the same fashion as when Aoshi came up to me, but when they came out of the blue, between the two scheduled meetings, it was a signal that there was something terribly wrong. It had only happened once before, but I wasn't invited, only Hiko was. Now it must have been dire, especially since Aoshi, not even an associate, was being called to it.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I have a son."

Aoshi nodded. "That's very nice."

"He's two."

"Ah."

"You don't find it strange?"

Aoshi stopped. "Find what strange?"

"That I have a child just as old as my marriage?"

Aoshi shrugged. "It's not my business what you do in your spare time."

I chuckled. "Guess you're right," I lowered my head. "Do you have a wife?"

"I am engaged."

"How nice," I replied. "What's her name?"

Aoshi stopped when I reached the entrance to the apartment complex. "I have other members to meet with," he said as a good bye, turning around to his car parked directly in front of the stoop of the apartment. For a few moments I stood underneath the awning, seeing Aoshi off. I pursed my lips and crossed my arms. Why was that sickening feeling coming back in my stomach? Finally I decided that maybe it was the fact that I had drank heavily last night and it was hardly wearing off. When I got back upstairs the apartment was just as silent as before, rain pittering on the balcony. Back in my bedroom my wife slept calmly, the boy still nuzzled against her chest. I kissed her on the forehead, watching her stir when I did, her eyes looking up to me. She smiled before turning back down to the bed to snuggle with the boy.

The meeting was two nights later at a country house just outside the city. It was a large gathering, the men stationed upstairs talking, the women downstairs watching the children and cooking dinner for their husbands.

We sat in a circle, like play time at a preschool, except in comfortable chairs. Every man had his legs crossed and a glass of whiskey or fine wine in his hand. I stared at my colleagues with fear, wondering why we were so silent. I recognized a handful of men like Hiko and Katsura. There was also Makoto Shishio, a wily smile across his burned cheeks. He'd barely survived an attempt on his life from meddling with a rival family, his body left looking like a patchwork quilt of skin grafts and burnt skin. Then there were Shinsaku Takasugi, another one of Katsura's closet friends, and a fellow adviser, as well as I'izuka, the former "messenger" for Katsura. Sozo and Sanosuke both stood, looking discreetly out the window to the collection of cars we'd come in. Aoshi stood behind me, mixing drinks since he was the newest "member" of the family. I swirled the Scotch in my hand, inwardly sighing. I could smell the pasta sauce wafting up through a vent.

"Well, you all are waiting for a ghost," Katsura began. "Sojiro will not be joining us this evening, which is the reason that you are hear tonight."

I straightened my back. Had Sojiro "the Tenken" Seta been killed off? There was no way. We all looking to Katsura for an answer.

"He's not dead, but he might as well be," Hiko followed up. "And if you haven't noticed, he's not the only one. Kamatari, Hoji, Usui..."he drawled off.

"They've all been pinched," Sanosuke snarled. "And the police are startin' to double their numbers."

"Our friends have been turning on us gentlemen," Katsura said. "One among us is not among us," a burst of laughter busted through the vent from downstairs. I sipped my Scotch, swirling it once more. It was hard to look at all these men and wonder if any of them were friends with the police, or were the police. We tried not to interrogate each other, glowering down each figure that seemed the least trustworthy, but it was nearly impossible.

"That's not possible," I found myself saying. It was meant to be a thought, but all eyes turned toward me. Katsura especially. "If the police are gaining numbers than it's our own fault for not having control."

"We have almost every commander on our side though," Shishio recalled. "We just don't give them handouts. We give them incentive to stay out of the way."

"I've been having cars passing by my apartment recently," I sneered. "I don't think it's the work of a spy. I think the police have been messing aroudn with their ranks and our informant has been less than so," I said.

"There is a new commissioner," Sozo said, cutting me off. "Hajime Saito has come into power. We've never been able to get him on our side, so maybe he's the problem."

"Then we should take care of him," Shinsaku suggested.

"Don't be rash," Katsura intervened. "We don't want direct confrontation with the police just yet," Katsura turned my way, holding up his glass for Aoshi to pour him more. "Himura, it's come to my attention that there is one detail you've failed to share with the family." I took the last sip of my Scotch, prompting Aoshi for more. Another burst of laughter came from downstairs, the smell of sauce getting heavier and heavier. I swallowed my fear as I said:

"I haven't had the opportunity to share with everyone." I could feel Hiko's eyes drilling into my temple. "I...I have a son," I said, a tad bit of smugness hanging in my voice. Hiko crossed his arms and furrowed his brows.

"You...what?"

"Well," I shrugged. "It was a surprise with me too."

"Who's the mother?" Hiko asked.

"It..." I swallowed my fear once again, sipping at the Scotch. I realized that my hands were shaking. "It was Tomoe Yukishiro."

I was waiting for the onslaught of yells, or someone to jumped up and shoot me, like I knew they could. But nothing came. No assault, no anger. I looked at around at the men, silently mingling with each other. "Yukishiro?" Katsura asked. "A child of two families eh?" he laughed. "How old is the boy?"

"He's two, and his name's Kenji."

"Tomoe just, handed him off to you, no strings attached?" Hiko questioned. His voice was heated, but he didn't need to talk for me to know that he was pissed off at me. I hadn't broken it off with Tomoe when he asked me to, which was reason enough for him to be frustrated.

"I didn't even know until three days ago that I was even a father," I defended myself. "I call it a bit of a miracle, honestly."

"You're a fucking idiot!" Hiko roared.

"Hiko," Katsura had a soothing voice, "don't stress out too much."

"I'm not going to have another heart attack."

"You don't know that," Katsura said. He was well aware of the mortality of his men. Shinsaku had been diagnosed with Hodgekin's lymphoma just a month ago. We were all at risk of getting sick, or being hurt. He took this into account. "Take into account that Himura wasn't aware of this," Katsura said, addressing the pool of men. "You're wife, Kaoru, doesn't mind does she?"

"She's taken a liking to the boy," I said.

"That's good," he nodded and looked around the room. "We can use this to our advantage. A son both Yukishiro and Himura," he leaned his head to both sides. "When we need that ammunition, we'll use it. Until then, lie low on the fact that he is a son of the Yukishiro family. Just pretend that it was your wife that birthed him."

"Understood."

"And Himura, as for those cars that are keeping surveillance...."

"Yes?"

"I would suppose that you are the police's next target to be pinched."

It didn't strike me as strange or odd in anyway. In fact, I'd been preparing to be taken in police custody ever since I had realized that other than rival families, we were working against the police. I went to take a sip of the Scotch, only to find that it slipped out of my hand and crashed on the wood floor. My hand was shaking and I didn't know why. I made a fist and bit it, wondering if somewhere I'd made a mistake. Aoshi scuttled to clean it up. There was a gunshot.

"Approach Himura again Shinomori and you'll have another hole in the head." Shishio quipped.

I dared to look up at the man, wielding a pistol at Aoshi.

"That's enough Makoto," Katsura ordered. "Put that away!"

"You have no idea why I did that, do you?" Shishio sneered. "You think there's a snitch? There's your goddamned snitch." All eyes were on Aoshi holding his hand where Shishio had struck him. Blood started seeping through the cracks in the floor, his fingers twitching.

Sanosuke grabbed the gun from Shishio, putting at the back of his head. "You're not really good at following the rules," he snarled. "Who said you could bring a weapon in this house?"

"I wonder," Shishio chuckled, "maybe the same one that let you."

"Stop it! Stop!" Katsura yelled. "Makoto! What is your reasoning?"

"Who here knew that Shinomori was part of the police?" hands began raising quickly. "And who knew that he never officially resigned." The hands went down until all that were left were Hiko and Katsura, which didn't surprise me in the slightest. Shishio's face twitched. "Then explain why you're letting a cop sit in on the meeting."

"He's not a cop," Hiko said, "he use to be. He was never offically taken off record because he was fired for insubordination. With a little persuasion we kept him on the books but had him on our side. He's not a double agent, he's just not off the books so it doesn't look suspicious."

Sanosuke rolled his eyes, dropping the gun from Shishio's head. "Dumbass," he handed Shishio back the weapon.

"It seems this meeting is adjourned," Katsura said, standing up. "Since you were so rude, take him to the hospital. If anyone asks say it was a random attack."

I sat stupefied, my hands still shacking. I lowered my head into my hands, people scuttling past me. I felt Hiko's hand on my back. "You alright?"

"Fine," I sucked in a breath hoping to calm myself. "Perfectly fine." I wanted to tell him about the plan to move so we could have more room for Kenji, but something told me that telling Hiko about that might be the death of me. I shuddered, my skin growing cold. I could hear all of the women asking what the gunshot was, especially when Aoshi came down with his hand wrapped and bleeding.

"Alright," he urged me to come downstairs for the food. "Your son looks an awful lot like you."

"You don't approve though right?"

"Katsura found a positive in it," he said, "though I don't much like the idea of having a child out of wedlock."

"I didn't know," I said. "She just left two years ago and then..."

"I know."

"Oh well," we stepped downstairs, Kaoru hugging my neck tight.

"Are you alright?" she asked me, crying. Hearing the gunshot must have worried her most of all. She wouldn't let me go until she inspected me for any kind of scratch or dent. It was a good thing I didn't tell her that Aoshi was just a few feet to my right. She rubbed my scarred cheek. The sweet smell of jasmine floating off her was mixing with the strange smell of pasta sauce.

"I promise that I'm alright."

"You better be," she said, pinching my cheeks. "I love you so much. I couldn't go on without you."

It was less assuring knowing that I was likely to be the next one pinched. "We should move," I said to her. "Really."

"Oh..." she was surprised by what I said. "I see."

"And I love you too."

She hugged me tighter. I couldn't let her go...