Standard disclaimer applied for further details go to my profile
Warnings: inconsistency of Hiei`s behaviour in this chapter is intentional. And yes, Youko Kurama is a master of manipulation. Did you expect anything less?
AN: Could somebody explain why a whole week is gone everytime I blink? Jeez, I needed a sick leave to finish this. Guess I`ve been pretty exhausted lately...
10 Brink of Sanity
It was a bit...unforseen.
Ensnared in the prison of his flesh gnawing vines, Hiei caught himself...at peace with the thought of sempiternity. It must have been an improvement; that state of peace with anything, peace at all. A long time had already had to pass; meaning that his system somewhat recovered. Quite remarkably, since he had been continuously tormented by the images of illusionary nightmares he had gone through, which were constantly accompanied by the inventions of the ultimate personification of vengeful sadism: his highness Youko Kurama – the tormentor.
Hiei`s memories were all mixed and jumbled and some got even lost, what Hiei of course couldn't have known. His mind strived yet pityfully failed in making a sense of his dream-like experiences...or real-like phantasies... that proved darn hard to tell apart.
Yet still...
Ensnared in his prison, Hiei found himself having...too much time. He was free to think and feel until it sickened him, since there hadn't been anything else he would have been allowed to pursue.
So he did the only thing he could; and his thinking fructified in an accidental discovery of a substantive importance. He realized what it was; that elusive mysterious thing he had desired to chase, grab, mark as his, then ceaselessly taste, sense and finally possess – for all the eternity that was to come; if he would borrow the words which Kurama had used with such dramatic pathos to stress the finality of his revenge. However, at last, Hiei grasped how close to grab was what he had desired to track.
That recognition was a mother to the first crack made into the up-to-then absolutely impenetrable, to him almost sacred concept of guilt and self-execration.
He didn't crave for escape; of course he didn't. Neither for release nor for effacement. He had been craving for an only thing; and unbeknownst to both of them, Youko Kurama`s torments had been destined to damp down that craving. The young demon almost laughed because he thought his ultimate weakness had gotten him to his knees. But now, he saw his weaknesses and desires along with Youko Kurama and his way of action as hallmarks typical for farce, for everytime the fox cut him anew he also cut away those hopeless decades of yearning. Cut by cut, bit by bit...slowly but tenaciously...
With every cut, the fire demon`s disregard to pain rose to prowess only a master could achieve. Thus he, maybe from lack of anything else to look at, ended up beguiled in his tormentor`s eyes; and that every single time the youko had been at it.
Hiei then forgot all about farces, dramas, weaknesses and silver youko`s blood-sullied hands because then, Kurama`s eyes were set...ablaze. There was fire inside, and Hiei knew something about fire: he desired to coddle it with his own flames, to intensify it, make it grow within, let it swell outside, to help it burn everywhere and everything around; so vivid and inviting it was to him.
It hurt. Of course it did; yet pain had been an ever-present companion never leaving his side for a minute - so why would he agonize over something that trivial. He had turned into a first-rate masochist; yet had he been able to come up with a role that would match Kurama`s more...but Kurama played a part of a sadist. Nothing could match more. So Hiei didn't mind the pain that much; on the contrary: had he known it would turn out...that it would taste like this, he would have betrayed and killed Kurama far far sooner.
Without a hint of remorse or a trace of guilt Hiei found himself...enjoying the thought of eternity.
If this was supposed to be his hell, he had shunned every thought of possible redemption, hoping that there were no mislead saviours coming with some sick ideas of salvation attempting to pull him out of this hellfire. He couldn't crave to get out of it; it had been too carefully planned and prepared especially for him by that alluring silver-haired curse, and the biggest weakness of his.
An instinct made Hiei flinch.
A new round of chastisement started; on mute, as was usual.
Unabashedly, he locked his eyes with Youko`s; challenging him with a daring look to try even harder.
The fox was absolutely focused on him; there was nobody else beside him in this world.
And time let Hiei kindly realize...
He loved those eyes. Disregarding what the fox was doing to him; he obsessively loved moments when Kurama focused purely on him. He loved being with Kurama - to ignite him; being it hate or violence or rapacity or rivalry...that – the form and the shape of it, was minor.
He didn't fight to analyze it, he just accepted that as it came.
He liked it so much that he would betray and kill Youko Kurama over and over and over again - if it meant to keep relishing what he had finally exposed and tasted.
-----------------------------
He hit the ground. Suddenly, without any warnings.
That meant the vines that had been restricting his movements and at the same time holding him in an upright position got loose.
His eyes moved to a figure sitting down on the den`s floor, his back holding up one of its walls. This was odd; the fox hadn't need to rest before. Neither would he allow the plants to let his prisoner move around untied.
"Kurama...?" Hiei asked softly, expecting to have his tongue cut out due to speaking without his warden`s permission.
There was no answer.
"Kurama!" Hiei uttered with urgency finding no obstacle on its way into his voice.
Somebody responded to his call, but not necessarily the one he had expected to. Though it put Hiei`s worries back to sleep the same; and gave his limbs motivation that was needed to overcome the burning stinging of his wounds and draw him closer to the evidently resting canine apparition.
Once close enough, Hiei`s body seemed to forget where it was, as his hands seemed to forget who he was. The left one found its way through the mane of silver hair to scratch the scalp, the fingers of right one softly touched the face. They recognized every single scar they had made; while Hiei`s memory replayed every shade of hatred that tarnished youko`s eyes when looking at him. But...those eyes were closed now.
"Sleeping like this when I am around and free to move...don`t you remember what I`ve done?" Hiei whispered, leaning down to let his mouth murmur right into Kurama`s ear: "...It`s your own fault if something happens to you. You should`ve known better."
After a short second of hesitation, Hiei laid his head on the tunic, noticing how it dropped hints of the thief`s torso more than it covered. Actually aiming for purring of the core inside to make absolutely certain that his tormentor was still alive, Hiei decided to do the job that the white piece of clothing had been in his opinion doing so miserably.
"Letting me catch you off guard like this...have you ever seen me as a threat at all? Your judgement and sight have always been a plague, sent on my head every minute I spent around you. Just tell me this then: with all your insight and heed...how come that I managed to kill you? It`s the oldest trick of all; feigning affection. Didn't you see it coming? Or you ain`t the real deceiver here."
Hiei slightly shifted, pressing himself against the slender yet masculine body under him.
"It`s not that much of a deal. It`s only that I`ve just decided to refuse everything less than the real thing. I don`t care what you do or where you go; whether you live, die or get stuck somewhere in between the worlds. I will track you down, anywhere you hide. Even if you sleep; if it`s for too long, I swear I go and kick the dream-weavers` asses for keeping you away from me."
Unceremoniously, he found a place on Kurama`s neck that had already known the zeal of his fangs and bit. Bit hard; not like the first time when he had still tried to get over with his mission and that fool of a fox offered him an easy access to his artery to prove his trust. If that wasn't a manipulation...than nothing was.
It took only seconds and the fire demon already regretted to have even bothered. The taste was horrible.
From the lack of other options, Hiei repositioned himself to take a better look at the youko`s face. He was regarding Youko Kurama but suddenly, weirdly not recognizing him; despite the unmistakable physique and smell.
Biting his lip, Hiei pondered on his possibilities and looked about. When he spotted what he had been in need of, he moved his eyes back to Kurama.
Almost gently, he let his fingers roam around the neck, the hair, the sides...he let them anywhere where they desired to explore. He leant down; left arm was the only support his body had gotten as his right hand seemed too engrossed with the left thigh.
He kissed Kurama. Or that was the original plan, but it took only a moment and he resiled. He stood up; slowly, since his body protested due to its shattered state. He walked toward the item he had been looking for and grabbed it. Then he turned; slowly again, and returned back to Kurama`s side.
"You are the source of my weakness." He pointed the tip of his sword at the youko`s chest. "But somehow you turned into my biggest strenght." The demon`s voice softened into a whisper, nonetheless it preserved all of its resolve and pertinacity.
Now it looked like he wasn't talking to the Kurama lying on the ground before him, but to somebody disembodied, omnipresent.
"You have been here since the very first second. But I couldn't even tell."
He pressed the sword against the center the fox`s chest.
"It doesn't matter, really...since you`ve been doing your job perfectly. Now I know you are here; so at least make this a little more bearable. Show me your true form, now!"
He used it instead of a battle cry; and before anything else had chance to happen, his blade ran through his sleeping and scarred tormentor.
What followed was a sound of the katana hitting the ground, because Hiei dropped it in disgust. And as his hands clenched into fists, something wet and hot touched his right one.
Hiei had his eyes shut, but the sensation forced him to open them - and stare.
"You asked me to show myself in my true form. This is it."
"....."
"Do you have a problem with it?"
Hiei shook his head and sighed. The real one would not show unless he had gotten rid of that bogus one. Youko Kurama had been providing the energy to heal, but Hiei had channeled most of it directly into the illusion, to keep it going. His tormentor was so...easy to deal with. He could face the fake one, because it was fake. He could touch, and he could kiss, he could do anything and he would know that he deserved whatever tortures Kurama had prepared for him. And for that fake youko...there had never existed anybody else beside him. Hiei was the centre of this Kurama`s universe.
But that was all fake.
"It was you, wasn`t it? You redirected the flow of youki within me. It`s your doing that my Kurama lost his power."
Hiei would have sworn that the big silver fox had just grinned and winked at him.
-----------------------------
Nika couldn't help but stare at Hiei`s cuts as they started to close.
"It`s a side effect of the energy which is shielding him," Mukuro breathed an awkward sigh.
"You do happen to know this energy, don`t you?" Nika asked with his stare unceasingly glued to Hiei.
"A pointless question."
Nika looked up at her with an expression of disbelief mixed with perplexity. "I wouldn't believe if I didn't see it. I know your heir is a Forbidden; his parents being a fire and an ice demon. Those two forces tend to destroy themselves as they contact, but he exists; and what I`m getting from him now… his body functions with youko energy easily like it was his own. I`d vouch for him being a child of a youko."
"Believe me; there is not a single drop of a youko`s blood in him."
"Then how is this possible? I`ve never heard of a technique that would bind two demons of different kinds in a way comparable to this. If the youki emanating from Hiei now doesn't belong to him but - as I assume - to Youko Kurama, then it is Youko Kurama who is keeping Hiei`s body and core functioning in one piece. If it really isn`t your heir`s energy, then Youko Kurama must have a damn good reason for using such an incredibly generous portion of his own energy to stop the Maru and lead everything in Hiei into its previous state. Jaganshi`s youki alone is already too weak to cover all the demands of his physical body; one could say Youko`s will and life force are a glue that is keeping his spirit attached to it. Being it the case, Kurama must be at the same time controlling and sustaining not only his own, but also this body. Can you imagine what level of energy control and will power…no, what level of self-confidence and trust it requires?"
"Trust?! He must consider Hiei a damn good investment,"Mukuro frowned. "Youko Kurama, the Maru or anybody else - it doesn`t make any difference. It is still not Hiei who`s being in control."
"Technically," Nika shrugged. "But there is a difference. The Maru attempted to take control over your heir`s body and abilities through violation and restriction. While Youko Kurama…" the ginger fox gave her a significant look.
"I have just one advice for you. If you decide to go on a hunt for that thief, don`t discuss it with Jaganshi. They share a youki connection tighter than those of mates. Kurama would immediately know. Besides…" Nika`s voice turned even more grave. "There is one more thing I sensed while attempting to connect with him but I wasn't able to make any sense of it back then. But if this energy really belongs to somebody else and not Hiei, it would make some sense." He shook his head as he made a short pause.
"I do believe it was Hiei who created the first crack in the enemy`s barrier. Though not because he wanted to defeat them. His emotions bore fierceness peculiar to instincts. The barrier probably got in his way when it severed his connection to Youko Kurama. It`s just... if Hiei reacted from the most basic level of instincts, it might indicate that their connection goes pretty deep. That it became essential, like water, air or food. If so, Kurama must have sensed as well that something went wrong. He most likely used the crack Hiei made to slip inside and help him to restore the link from his side. I don`t have any proof for that; but they make it appear as if keeping their connection was their common and most important objective. Youko Kurama is evidently being territorial; thinking of Hiei as of his own. By fighting the Maru, he is only trying to keep everybody away from what is his.
"And I`ve accused Hiei of being his guard dog…"
"I`d say you`re not that far from truth. They are behaving like their bodies, minds and energy were their exclusive property. I mean the exclusive property of the two of them, not just Kurama`s. There are clearly visible traces of shared guarding; just Hiei is currently weakened. That is why so much Youko`s energy is flowing into him; they are instinctivelly trying to balance weaknesses to be able to keep on going."
"How ironic… I tried to coax him into learning how to effectively use reinforcements. How to combine his strength with somebody else`s…but he brushed it off every single time saying not to be the type for crap like that. And now you`re telling me it was him who cried out for help. That it was him who literally asked that thief to step in and take control over the situation; over his body and energy. As if he forgot all his pride...and his obstinacy."
"Pride, and obstinacy too, tend to lose their relevance when facing death."
Both Mukuro and Nika lifted their faces to regard Tebiko who`d just stepped into the room, shaking her head in sign of an unsuccessful hunt for the attacker
"Any way; it is clear now that our little flame here and the foxy thief master share an unfeigned pact of alliance. And I think Hiei`s choice isn`t wrong at all. On the contrary," Tebiko walked over to Hiei, giving him a little shake of her head. "So far, I haven`t come across a single case when somebody succeeded in repulsing any of the Maru attacks. Not to speak about 'the pure'." She ran the back of her palm across the unconscious fire demon`s forehead in an unexpectedly slow manner.
"The methods he uses are irrelevant as long as they keep him alive. The leading beam has been broken. The attacker`s advance has been stopped. Now tell me, who would be able to pull this kind of a stunt on Maru while attacking with an S-class 'pure'?" The leader of spies looked at her lord. "There aren't that many demons matching Hiei`s power possessing enough insight to dive under the surface to see him clearly. But there are some; and you sent Hiei straight into the arms of one of them. I`m not surprised Youko Kurama returned the jewelry; you have presented him something far more fascinating, and at the same time million times more helpful. He`d be a fool not to take advantage of the situation you created."
"Apparently, they have seen this coming. After a proper analysis of the predicament, Hiei probably understood he wouldn't stand a chance against this opponent alone. Still, the method they`ve chosen to use to fight the Maru is spine-chilling. This level of openness…they are being too ruthless. It`s like being stripped and ripped open for the other to see and grope everything. And it`s done willingly..." the red youko`s eyes went back to the fire apparition as the thought made him shiver.
"I still wonder," Tebiko mused with a scowl. "How long can one`s youki last if it maintains not just itself but also another entity; especially one as damaged as Hiei?"
Nika didn't bother with answering. He stood right next to the other two healers, mumbled an ancient youko declaration of submission, channeled it through his youki to let Hiei and Kurama know that he would not do anything against their will and instantly pressed his palms on the fire demon`s chest in attempt to transfuse as much of his energy as Hiei`s core and Kurama`s healing barrier over it would allow.
He was rejected.
"Trust and alliance...you say?!" A bolt of ire flashed through Mukuro`s features, pressing her lips into one strict line. "Leave."
The healers previously called in for tending to Hiei`s cut-wounds deduced it was meant for them and obeyed. Tebiko and Nika lingered.
"Get out I said."
"Mukuro…" Tebiko started to protest, but was cut off without mercy.
"I gave you an order to use any means to keep him alive. But all you did was standing here and gaping while Youko Kurama was doing your job. And even for that I had to summon you here;" she spat at Nika.
"And you…" she turned to Tebiko. "Has the nights spent in 'studying the Maru' with this debauchee blown all your judgment away? You have lost the attacker`s trace; and they couldn`t have even left the fortress yet; I have Gern`s troops patrolling this place like never before. At least he remembers how to do his job."
Nika opened his mouth to dispute, but one look at Tebiko was enough to silence him. They glimpsed at each other; their eyes communicating and coming to agreement that very instant.
They performed an apologetic bow in perfect sync and left without saying any word further.
"Now to you thief…" Mukuro moved a chair nearer to Hiei and sat down.
"You are certainly not stupid. You must have a reason for keeping others out of your territory, even if they submit to your will before entering. Just what shit have you told my heir that he humored to become yours to guard? What do you want to prove by doing it? And don`t give me that applesauce about care."
Watching Hiei`s injuries healed, she sighed.
"You have done for him what my staff with all their preparations couldn't. Must`ve been a hell of a motivation…"she shook her head.
"I don`t have information about you being an empath like Nika is. But I could sense how scared out of his wits he was when asked to deal with this – he, a master of the art."
She craned her neck to look at the ceiling while washing her energy over Hiei to check on his state again, only to realize how weak the pulses of his core were. Yet at the same time how much more stable they`d become just in the minutes` span.
"Let me clarify one thing." She murmured.
"Saving him from dying due to the last assault made your point very clear. Hiei belongs to you and you possess power to keep everybody else from taking him. You have won this one; he`s alive and yours to play. So from now on…you can keep him. I don`t seem to need anybody who asks for being taken over by some dubious mugger. If you want to run a territory, you`d have to challenge Yomi or Raizen; I`m not going to let you steal mine."
She stood up ready to leave the room. "…you might now find this pawn useless since I`m going to withdraw him from the position of my heir. But as I told you: he is yours. And what you do with toys that turn useless is none of my business. I won`t interfere. That`s all."
With that, she opened the door and stepped out of the room, leaving Hiei completely to his own devices.
-----------------------------
"Mukuro!" As soon as the ruler crossed the threshold of the room where Hiei slept, Tebiko stood up from her knee-banded waiting pose. "Mukuro. We need to go back inside."
"What for?! To screw it up again?" The ruler bit sharply.
"You can discipline me and Nika for our incompetence if that`s what you desire. But this is the crucial moment for gathering information. We can learn from Hiei how to defeat the Maru clan. And…is it wise to let him without a healer to watch upon?"
"He needs nobody such."
"He does n..." Tebiko tried to digest the piece of information, fighting against what it implied. "You don't mean he is d--"
"Just leave him where he is."
Mentally, the ruler ordered another pair of guards to stand a watch there, commanding them to let nobody except her in.
As if to substantiate their necessity, Tebiko made a movement to open the door – and was instantly thrown against the opposite wall of the corridor.
"You are that serious…?"
"You already had your chance to show how much you cared for my ex-heir`s life; so stop making such a drama of it now. It`s annoying."
The only thing Tebiko could do was watching her ruler`s back as she walked away.
"This doesn`t look like Mukuro at all…" Nika offered his hand, in case his partner needed any help with standing up from the floor. "By the way…did I really hear her call Hiei her 'ex-heir'?"
"Hmmm…" Tebiko stood finally up, accompanied by the sound of cracking of her joints.
"No matter what Hiei had done; she would never give up on him. And about that attacker: I did sense somebody here. I did…but when I came to the location, a decomposing corpse was the only thing I found. I guess it was the Maru`s amplifier…the wire connecting his master`s mind with Hiei`s. As soon as the mastermind felt danger, the amplifier must have been ordered to kill him- or herself; using some squalid technique to prevent us from getting sensitive information."
"Nobody was allowed in or out today so somebody must be missing. If nothing else, we must be at least able to identify who it was."
Sounds like a plan…" the chief of spies gave her partner a feeble smile.
"I just hope that Gern hadn't let anybody slip in and hide before today."
"I highly doubt that. Gern isn't a lubber. In comparison to one slow-footed pair of other subalterns of Mukuro…" she mumbled.
"You really do feel bad about it…but you know: being kicked out by Mukuro or not; I don`t think Hiei will have problems to find something else to do. I`ve been talking to the messenger of Russets. The rumours about Jaganshi not being at his best haven`t avoided them, but they still decided to wait with relocating their clan until his issues are settled. They don`t trust anybody else more to do the job."
Tebiko shook her head. "I just don`t get what`s making him so popular among youkos. Even you are not resistant to his 'hot' points; whatever they might be. Be so kind to enlighten me: what`s making you all so crazy about him?"
"If I told you, you wouldn't want to take your hands off him either." Nika presented Tebiko a charming smile to second his stand. "I won`t let my chances slip; now that I know what I know."
"You mean now that you know what kind of temptation he is. If Kurama gets to hear that you are pampering his possession…"
Nika`s features reshaped into a sly, almost feral grin. "His fault for not being territorial enough. He could have set his claims upon Hiei`s mind and energy; but when it comes down to mating Hiei`s been left unmarked. That leaves very much space for being playful…I don`t mind Hiei wearing another kinds of marks. Nonetheless; we must be certain he survives without too much damage. Otherwise there would be nothing left for me to claim."
"Nika," Tebiko sighed, "you have been there; haven't you? You were the one who told Mukuro how deep their bond goes. How ruthlessly they opened to each other; that they`d done it willingly."
"My charms may not be enough to compare to Kurama`s - especially in Hiei`s eyes, I admit that. But there is one significant detail which Kurama neglected. He might have formed an immensely strong bond with Jaganshi…but he left him physically alone."
"And you are the most qualified demon around when it comes down to emotions and body-healing."
"That too," Nika snickered. "But most of all: I am here while Kurama is not. I will seize the empty place at Hiei`s side now, when he is too weak."
"So that`s what you want," Tebiko whistled. "But a bond with him is a clear attempt to cross Kurama`s territory."
"As I said: it`s Kurama`s fault for leaving there too much space. Any youko would take it like an invitation. And it`s Mukuro`s fault too, for leaving him without support."
"I wonder what course of action he will take after he wakes."
"First things first. We must raise the certainty that he wakes."
They exchanged glances and curtly nodded to acknowledge their joint stand.
"Do you think she really did…you know…forfeit him?" Nika asked.
The spy master looked at the door. Then at the guards posted there and at the door again.
"One question: would you command four heavily armored pairs of guards to stand a watch here if you wanted to kiss Hiei bye-bye?"
"Well, about that kissing part…"
"Pardon my inappropriate choice of words;" Tebiko tossed her head while giving the door one last glance.
That was the last thing the guards got to see from her and Nika that day.
-----------------------------
Repulsing that attack was not the easiest thing to do, but Kurama felt like the trickier part of the matter lied yet before him.
His former companion had been torn; with two main flows, or maybe attitudes, of his personality getting the lead.
The first one was a result of his taboos being broken all at once and too harsly; because he had been broken. All the things he had previously supressed were causing quite a big instability in his psyche now, when finally released. This part of him was constantly on fire; burning to dash forward and catch whichever from those things he had forbade himself to crave for. No wonder he was so obsessive – far more than usually that is; and too fixated on Kurama, since the fox presented Hiei`s idea of the ultimate fulfilment. And that not just for one but several of his set-loose cravings, even if he couldn't give them any proper shape or name yet. It was purely instinctive.
That part of Hiei was maniacal; and probably would stay maniacal until he found a way to incorporate all the sad and painful memories that have secretly fed his cravings into his conscious mind.
The other main lead of his mental state was still caught in the nightmare, trying to deal with it and everything that it implied.
This mental frame tried to cope with the guilt and shame which its maniacal twin ignored. This Hiei was closing himself up; thinking of his body as of a weapon meant to hurt every thing, especially those who broke through to him. This part of him was convinced that his hands were too filthy to ever try to touch the real Kurama again; that was why Hiei desired to hide within that illusion even after the attacker was gone. The best idea according to this side of his was to get out of the youko`s life, so the thief wouldn`t need to look at the one who had - or would - cause his downfall. There was a small thought prying that he wanted Kurama to look at him; that he wanted to occupy his life. But it got drowned in the waves of shame, as they claimed that he didn`t deserve the right to even think that Kurama would ever accept him. That was why he had accepted the torments of the fake Kurama – he had been bitterly thinking it was the closest to the original he would ever get.
Especially now, after the real Youko Kurama had seen Hiei doing what he was doing. This side of him reasoned that it wouldn't have mattered if anybody else saw. It was just Kurama...because it was Youko Kurama.
This Hiei felt humiliated and ashamed; the more when the rememberance of the first illusion where Kurama had made love to him offered itself to be recalled again. Now he understood that the first illusion had been only a test to assess the real state of his emotions, in relation to the mental image of the actual attack which followed. The idea of Kurama making love to him was not initiated by him; it was done by the leader of the attack, just to sum up his reactions. But everything Hiei had experienced and felt there had been his own, none of his emotions had been manipulated yet then. And that attacker was watching it.
Even worse...the real Youko Kurama was watching it.
It shouldn`t have mattered at all since a base bastard from some sleazy hole of a world shouldn`t have even possessed a notion of honour and dignity. The maniac in Hiei didn`t either. It would have been so simple to cope with if he could just turn into him for good; he would possess enough animalistic resolve to pursue whatever he wanted without hindrances, stinging guilt and remorse.
However, it did matter, and this part of Hiei hated him for that the more.
The fox sighed.
It was definitely a good idea; to appear in this form. It didn`t irritate those cravings as much; Hiei didn`t jump on him to mark and violate- or challange and attack him right then and there. Neither had he turned his back on him because he was too painful to look at. And Kurama knew just well enough how painful he was to look at; he had been the spirit running Hiei`s body, mind and energy for a good while now. He couldn't even want to imagine a life with Hiei avoiding him. Not that it would have been possible anyway; with their link and loads of issues awaiting to be settled.
He needed Hiei alive at any cost; but he couldn't afford to have him dragged down much like this. It was dragging him down as well, and the last thing he needed was his doubt or pity. His power was pouring out into Hiei`s instead of his own veins as he slowly tried to combine their two systems into one which would be easier to nourish. In result, their minds were merging as well; Kurama had already taken in a good picture of the damage Hiei had suffered. And he too was already too weakened to control which memories would sink into Hiei and which would not; it was only his 'luck' that none of them could get through to his partner`s awareness since it was already full of its own traumas.
Hell, what was there to loiter: he knew Hiei well enough to know that he would learn to deal with everything the thief had commited on him since the very first moment he had been smacked with his tail.
The fox looked him in the eye and Hiei, uncertain what to say or do, just winced.
"Hiei," he started telepathically; "I have been providing energy not only for my own body, but for yours as well. I`m tired. Do you think you could manage to hibernate for three straight days? If you gained more energy of your own, I could decrease the amount of youki I`m transferring into you."
"I..." Hiei`s vocal cords gave up. He simply sat, then laid down where he was; without any attempt to say anything anymore.
Kurama smiled - as much as a fox could; and when the fire demon curled into a ball with arms tightly circled around himself, he moved to stand behind his back and waited, knowing that he desired to communicate more than he just had.
"I..."slightly shaking, Hiei started stuttering again,"I don`t know...what to do."
"That`s quite easy," the fox laid his head to the crook of his neck in what should have been a reassuring gesture. "For now, sleep will do. Don`t worry about anything else. It`s safe now."
"But you cannot..."
"I cannot...? What can I not?"
"That`s..." the fire demons voice was trembling the same way as the rest of him. "Don`t...let your guard down. I...don`t know what...what I might do to you."
The fox lifted his head to scrutinize Hiei`s face in detail.
"You forgot something, juvenile;" the thief`s voice spoke strickly inside of his mind. "I`ve been used to taking care of myself before you even started to walk. I want to believe I have enough insight to tell when to go, and when and with whom to stay. I`m still alive, so it must be working. You should at least acknowledge that."
That was what his words said, but his eyes noticed far more.
Hiei was lying there drained and trembling after the most vicious assault Kurama had ever seen, with his personality falling apart and its various traits going on the rampage - each in a different direction at that. But what he had said gave away quite an interesting hint of his priorities and demeanor. Lying there on the verge of collapse, he had still enough in/sanity to be concerned with somebody else`s safety over his own.
The fox scowled: "Really; I don`t know if to snap at your throat to teach you a lesson or laugh."
"Then teach me, and after you do, laugh. It`s been a long time since I heard the sound."
"You are..." the words in his mind stopped as the rest was menacingly growled. Hiei only guessed according to those low vibrations that Kurama used some swear word.
"...but I guess that`s what I deserve for playing with fire;" the thief went on within the young demon`s mind again. "I only reap what I`ve sown. Now I can blow at my burnt fingers."
"Burnt...? You have been burnt?"
The big fox looked at him like at a specter. "Listen. Once there was a runt of a fire demon who I wanted to play a game with. He had guarded his inner realm fiercely and steadfastly; it rang in my ears like an enticement to break in. After all, I`m a thief; and there are no guarded things without value."
"...and? Did you break in?" Hiei asked.
Kurama sighed, shaking his head. "I did. It wasn`t that difficult."
"Why are you burnt, then?"
"It was a trap. I found something priceless inside of his realm...but I couldn`t leave with it. It was either to abandon what I came for and live more or less safely outside, or stay there and savour – if I was willing to learn how to live in that heat."
"And? What have you chosen?"
"I`m...learning." The fox cast his look at some point behind Hiei.
"I see." The fire demon said in a quiet voice. "It`s your avarice what burnt you. There is no need for you to go through such trouble if you cannot take the priceless item with you and sell it. There isn't anything more you can do with it; and you are not exactly man who would hold on looking at something for too long."
"What are you saying?!" the fox snapped; "that it`s pointless for me to even try?!"
"It is. You will eventually leave, and blisters and burns are the only things you will get away with."
"You..." the fox`s threatening snarl was now accompanied with darkening of his eyes. "I broke inside; and what I found there is mine. EVERYTHING. IS. MINE."
"Greed is your middle name, it`ll be your fall..."
"I decided to learn how to stay within that fire. The item -" the fox shook his head; "Hiei...I don`t want what I found there in that demon`s realm. I desire his whole realm...to possess it and care for it, along with the one who had been guarding it."
Hiei blinked in surprise over his tender tone when the fox already commanded in a lot bossier one. "Sleep now."
"Don`t tell me what to do" being uttered without its usual edge and softly, sounded almost tender. "I am not some lousy item you can possess."
"That`s why I got burnt. I`m...making mistakes. Otherwise, there wouldn't be the need to learn anything, remember? Now, I`d appreciate if you considered moving into the state of hibernation. We both need to replenish; there are a couple of intricate jobs lying ahead of us that we must deal with."
It must have been thanks to the youko`s warmth that Hiei`s quivering seemed to subside completely by then.
"Is there something like a 'we'?" the fire apparition asked after few moments of silence.
"There is, unless one of us decides that there is not."
Hiei apparently wanted to raise a comment when he was silenced – for the first time in his life by five soft pats delivered on his lips by a fox`s paw.
End of Chapter 10