"I'm a werwolf?"

"Yes Chase, you're a werwolf. I just told you that." Scott was getting impatient. Chase was more stupid than he looked. He was Asian too. It was a double whammy.

"But," Jon started, "You are a special werewolf. You are a teen werewolf. Teen werewolves can change when it isn't a full moon."

"Wow, really?" Chase was shocked and appalled by this thickening of things. "I am shocked and appalled by this thickening of things. Just like how I was shocked and appalled by the thickening of my girlfriend."

HP was not amused. "Chase, you don't have to try to be manly around us. We all know you're gay."

"Shut up!" Just then, Alec walked into the room. Chase then said to Alec, "Alec! But I thought you turned into a star! How are you alive?"

"Well, firstly I'm a vampire. And everyone knows that vampires can only be killed by getting hit with garlic bread."

"Wow, you truly are amazing Alec."

"And secondly, I was given a favor by a ginger to be immune to the sun, so it doesn't hurt me now."

"Shit nigga," HP said. "Them damn gingers need to get what's coming to them. They can't just go around killing and cursing people."

"That's actually what I need your help with." Everyone looked at the speaker: Jon. Jon took on the tone of voice of someone with something important to say. "Recently, I was put under a spell by a ginger. It was a weight gaining spell. I gain five pounds every week, and if this keeps up, I won't be able to walk."

HP responded, "Now that you mention it, you do look like you are getting fat. You don't have that ex-luchador look that you sported two years ago."

"Why can't you just get a magician to remove the curse?" Chase was getting harrier by the minute. Which was quite the sight, because he was asian. A harry Asian, can you imagine that?

"You dumb butt." Said Scott. "The only way to remove something put on by a ginger is to kill the ginger. And if the ginger dies of natural causes, the spell won't be removed and it will carry on into the afterlife. What was that song again? Never trust a ginger?"

"I think it was never trust a ho."

"Whatever, same concept. Don't trust them kids with red hair! They'll rape you without lubing up first. They are that cruel."

"But the problem is," said Jon, "I was cursed by the king of gingers, so it won't be easy taking him down."

"Who could that be?" Chase, who wasn't done being stupid, asked.

"Ron Weasly."