"We need to get the dark book again" Beck said.
"She cried so much while writing on it" Cat commented sadly.
"I know, it broke my heart" Tori added.
"I'm just glad that she'll stay at a hotel tonight" Andre commented gladly.
"She is such a good liar, though" Robbie exclaimed. "She just cried her eyes out and now she is walking around like nothing happened"
"That's not good because it doesn't allow anyone to help her" Andre said.
"We'll help her but we need to know what happened, I need to know what happened yesterday and how she is feeling, you heard her, she said she'd spend the rest of her life with her brother but he is leaving soon" Beck commented worriedly. "I'm not letting her kill herself"
They went to Sikowitz's class and found Jade already there, she looked normal, hadn't they seen her earlier they wouldn't have guessed how much she cried. "Alright so I'm gonna need two volunteers" Sikowitz informed and started walking around the classroom.
"Jade" He said and grabbed her hand to make her stand up and walk towards the stage.
"Owww" Jade said as she pulled her arm back.
"What?" Sikowitz asked and grabbed her arm; he pulled the sleeve up and saw the massive bruise around her wrist. "Oh my god, did I do this?" He questioned shocked and Jade looked around nervously.
"Yes" She lied and pulled her arm away before covering her bruise again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was that strong, actually, I think your skin is too sensitive just look at your face, where did you get those bruises?" Sikowitz asked.
"I tripped" she lied, the rest of the gang looked at each other because they knew the truth but they weren't gonna say it.
"Alright, I need another volunteer" Sikowitz said.
"I didn't volunteer" Jade commented.
"Quiet, come on, who wants to act?" He questioned and Beck raised his arm but Sikowitz remembered what had happened the last times so he didn't want him to be with Jade. "Come on, guys, someone!"
"I'll do it, Sikowitz" Beck informed and got on stage, he looked down at Jade and felt an intense need to hug her but he couldn't simply do it so he was hoping that the exercise would require him to.
"Alright but before we start, Jade, I want to ask you something" Sikowitz commented. "Who is Jamie?" He asked and Beck closed his eyes in frustration just like the rest of his friends. "Your cousin didn't really tell us who that was and I'm curious"
"Jamie? Jamie is...um... eh...Jamie is..." Jade didn't know what to say and she was getting really nervous, every time she heard that name she remembered her childhood and it became a vivid nightmare. "Why does it matter?" she asked.
"I was curious because you left to go to Jamie's birthday party, your cousin, what's his name again?" Sikowitz asked.
"Alex..." Jade answered emotionlessly.
"Yes, Alex said she is a person you really like but he didn't specify why" Sikowitz commented and Jade looked down trying to hold the tears back but she felt them coming.
"Yeah...Jamie is someone he likes a lot, many people like Jamie, she is special, that's what they said..." Jade said staring into space and Beck could notice she was about to break again.
"Come on, Sikowitz, let's move on to the exercise" Beck demanded.
"Oh yes, I almost forgot, so first of all, Beck, you better do as you're told" Sikowitz warned and he nodded. "Okay, this is a very serious topic and I want you to approach it with maturity" He said and they both nodded.
"You're a couple and Jade, you've been raped" He said and the gang looked at each other shocked that he'd chosen that specific topic, Jade only stared at him remaining calm and pretending it didn't bother her but they all knew it did. "Now, you have to tell your boyfriend, Beck, what happened to you and how you feel, just try to imagine what it's like for a rape victim to face life and Beck, you have to be a supportive boyfriend, seriously…supportive!"
Beck was really nervous about doing that scene because he knew Jade wasn't well and she would probably break out crying at some point but there was no going back. "There is something I need to tell you" Jade said to Beck but she kept staring at his chest and not his eyes.
"Sure, baby, what is it?" He questioned nicely and she looked up at him as she took a deep breath.
"Yesterday something happened..." Jade said, she wasn't even going to act but they had to believe she was doing it. "A man forced me to get in his car and drove away from here; he took me to a house...a very ugly house..." Jade took a breath and continued still looking down; she didn't have the guts to look him in the eyes.
"And?" He asked.
"Well, he made me lay down on the ground and started kissing me, I was screaming and crying so slapped me and put a tape on my mouth and then started undressing me, I tried to fight him, I really did but he was stronger, he kept pressing my arms to the ground as he... "Jade had some tears running down her face at that point, it was really difficult for her to say it. "As he raped me, he did it over and over again until he got tired" she said trying to keep herself together and still unable to look at Beck's face, she wasn't acting she was just staring into space remembering. "When he was done, he simply dressed up again and dragged me out of the house, he drove me back and left like nothing had happened, like my feelings didn't matter..." she finished and took a deep breath.
Sikowitz was amazed by how well acted the scene was but he had no idea that she wasn't acting; only Beck and her friends knew that. "Oh my god" Beck said sadly.
"I feel so bad, you have no idea, nobody knows what it's like to go through this...you see people on TV all the time talking about how you can get over it, they all have different theories about what it feels to be a victim but they know nothing about being one, when someone makes you feel you're worth less than trash, you believe it and life becomes a constant torture, you have to smile, talk, walk and do what you always do but you only want to die inside, the pain never ends, the humiliation stays with you forever and the nightmares never go away" Jade said, she was crying and talking and everyone in the classroom was staring at her, her friends only wanted to hug her and the rest of them wanted to clap. "I thought I could do this but I can't, it's too hard, I just can't take it anymore I wanna die" Jade finished and finally broke out crying so Beck embraced her in his arms.
"It's okay, everything is gonna be okay, I promise" He said and kissed the top of her head, he was hugging her as tightly as he could and trying to make her feel safe as she cried, they even forgot they were in the classroom but then Sikowitz interrupted them.
"And cut!" He said and Jade broke the hug, she stepped away and tried her hardest to stop crying. "Jade, that was amazing, unbelievable acting, congratulations!" He said and everyone started clapping while Jade wiped the tears away. "Alright, take a seat"
As soon as the class was over Jade rushed out of the classroom and the rest of the gang stayed there for a few more minutes. "That was heartbreaking and the worst part is that we know she wasn't acting" Tori commented sadly.
"I know, you could see it in her face, she wasn't acting she was remembering" Beck added. "God, how I wish she would open up to us in private, I wish I could hug her and tell her how much I love her"
"Beck, do you really love her or do you feel bad for her? There's a difference and I don't think you're thinking straight" Andre commented.
"I love her, Andre, I know that I acted like an asshole and it seemed I hated her but I was just trying to convince myself that I did when in fact, I love her, I love her more than you think" Beck affirmed.
"Oh guys, by the way, while Jade was on stage I grabbed the dark book again" Cat commented and showed it to them.
"She told us what happened, no need to read it" Andre responded.
"No, wait, let me see" Tori said and opened it. "Here it is, do you want me to read out loud?" She asked and they nodded so she took a deep breath and began. "Alex hasn't stopped, he won't stop, two days ago my mom and my brother left and he came to my room like he always does, I had a moment of strength and I kicked him, I tried to run but he tackled me and my face landed on the stupid table so now I have a bruise across my face but at least that saved me for the night; however, yesterday in class I couldn't stop remembering him and Beck was being unusually touchy, he kept trying to kiss me and hug me and all I could feel was Alex…it was horrible, the worst part is that I'm sure everyone noticed it but he didn't care, he kept going even after I told him to stop…he doesn't have any respect for me now, if he knew all the things I've actually done it would probably make it worse, he'd be as disgusted as I am with myself. Sikowitz thank god ended the scene so Beck finally stopped but then, to make my day even worse Alex picked me up, I didn't want to go with him but I froze and he took me to the same house where I spent my twelfth birthday, everything was the same…I could see all those men standing around me laughing and telling me disgusting things, I could feel their hands on my body, I could hear my younger self's screams, I could feel the smoke and the smell of alcohol in the air; it was just like that day and then he did it again, he was so violent, I tried to fight him so he hit me and kept holding my wrists to the ground until he was done using me and then on our way back, he bought me an ice cream, it felt just like that day… I was so confused and so angry and so sad, I swear all I wanted was to put a gun to my head, close my eyes and pull the trigger but then I saw my friends in the parking lot and I made a mistake, I hugged Tori, which I know disconcerted them but I really couldn't help it, I needed a hug more than ever before…I'm actually surprised I managed not to break out crying in front of them.
I was about to tell them the truth because it was suffocating me, I needed to let it out and above all, I needed to feel I'm not alone but then Beck appeared, I don't know where he came from but he was there judging me like he always does and I'm actually glad because he stopped me from telling them, that would've been a terrible mistake, I wouldn't be able to look anyone in the eye if they knew about Jamie; he wanted to know who she is but how could I tell him or anyone all the things I've done? They're disgusting, I am disgusting…and I'm frankly tired, I can't do this anymore, I'll see if I can open the safe to get the gun or I'll just use a different method, I'm sorry for my mom and Nathan but It's time to be free and at the end of the day, the world will be a better place…at least for Beck, he'll be much happier once I stop existing" Tori finished sadly and looked at Beck, who had tears in his eyes, he felt so bad and angry with himself. "This is where she stopped and started crying more" she commented.
"She is scaring me" Cat commented worriedly.
"Yes, me too, she is not talking about maybe doing it, she's made the decision" Tori added concernedly. "We need to keep an eye on her; we can't let her do it"
"How are we supposed to stop her?" Robbie asked.
"I don't know but she is not doing it"
Sad, i know.
I hope you guys liked the chapter, please review! :)