Tales from the Club Room
Episode 11: The Obligatory Christmas Episode
"No ma, I am not coming home this year." Lance said as he paced back and forth in his apartment. "Well honey it is the holidays and I thought you would like a change of pace. I bet it's boring in Japan. Do they even believe in Jesus? Oh I knew I shouldn't have sent you to that heathen country!" Lance laughed, "Mom there is some Christians here not a lot but some, and anyway it is going to be the same thing as last year. Dad deep fries a turkey, Aunt Lynn makes her taco dip, and Uncle Leland falls asleep in front of the TV. Besides I have Angela to keep me company, she's not going home either." Lance's mother sighed, "When am I going to meet this girl. She sounds nice despite what she did to poor Tilden. Why did you set those girls loose on him?" Lance laughed remembering how the girls almost three weeks ago were beating up on Tilden. "Ma, I told you before, I did not let them beat him up, he had too many little bottles of Jack Daniels on the plane and he was acting like an ass!" His mother shouted, "You should protect you older brother, he's been through a lot. His wife divorced him two years ago ya know. Took the kids and left, she did. I didn't like the hussy anyway!" Lance slapped his forehead, "Ma, you don't like any woman that wears lipstick and makeup or even attempts to look nice!" He said as he sat down on his couch and unloaded his satchel. "Well she was the town doorknob, everyone had a turn. She probably had the clap too!" She said as Lance opened his planner. "I can pencil you and dad in for the 27th you can come here, meet my friends and my girlfriend, and see the sights, it's a beautiful country." Lance's mother was silent for a moment and then spoke, "I think the ladies missionary society would enjoy a trip. I don't know about air fare and if your dad wants to fly all the way over there with a bunch of old biddies like me." Lance growled, "Mom I am not asking for a mission trip, just you and dad with me and my friends. I seriously doubt that you need to bring all those ladies here just for a trip. By the way mom, I have certain intelligence level for people to stay in my apartment and those ladies would cover less than an eighth of it." Lance's mother growled, "Well if that's how you're going to be mister than I am not coming." Lance chuckled a bit, "You haven't changed a bit ma. I'll call you on Christmas okay I got to go." Lance said as someone knocked on his door. He hung up the phone, his mom hadn't changed but he and Tilden had, she needed to get with the program. Lance opened the door and was greeted with a big green mess. "A little help, love? This thing is bloody heavy!" It was Angela with a large albeit fake Christmas tree. Lance helped her in and placed it next to his TV, "I've got the ornaments ready, let's decorate this sucker." Lance said rubbing his hands together, Angela pulled out a box of ornaments as Lance kicked on his CD player, Nat King Cole was singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire and Jack Frost. "I hope you don't mind, me coming over and helping you decorate this thing. Classes let out last week and I have been sitting on my arse all this time watching TV. It's been hard for me to celebrate this holiday since my Johnny died. I told ya about him. Didn't I?" Angela said. Lance nodded placing an ornament on a branch, "The one who went out the way I almost did. Yeah you did. Hand me that Sebastian the Crab Ornament will ya." Lance said picking up the ornament and placing it on the tree, "Was this his favorite holiday?" the song had changed to Bing Crosby singing about a snowy Christmas, Angela nodded. "He would always dress up as Santa and hand out presents to his brothers and sisters. I know I am sounding nostalgic, sorry if that bothers you." She said, Lance grabbed another ornament and placed it on the branch, "Not at all, My Christmas' in Steubenville were boring, that's why I'm staying here. Like the song says I've got my love to keep me warm!" He said and kissed Angela on the lips, she smelled like roses after the rain had fallen at his grandmother's house. She wrapped her arms around him and buried herself in his neck, "I feel like I truly have a friend here, someone I can trust. I think the good lord sent me here to Japan to find you. Tell me do you feel the same?" She said her voice choked with sobs. Lance stroked her long black hair, "I love you Angela. I can see us somewhere, far away from London, far away from Steubenville. Me with my own psychological practice, you as a published author, we'd still go to anime conventions, I'd be your Inuyasha and you'd be my Kagome. You would be the only woman I'd ever go to the depths of the earth to be with." He said as she looked up at him. "You really mean that?" she said, Lance nodded. She kissed him, knocking him backwards, Lance got more passionate with her nuzzling her neck and nibbling on her ear. He switched CD's to a mix he had made; The Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin" began playing in the background. He wrapped his arms around her, rolling over he stared into her eyes. "Someday, Angie, someday we'll get married." Angela looked at Lance and smiled, "Lance Ryan, are you actually being romantic? Wow this is different." She said and kissed him, "What do ya say we finish putting up this tree and then get ready for the party." Angela said as she got up and smoothed out her dress. Lance nodded and switched CD's back to the Christmas music. The gang would arrive in an hour.
Joyce Ryan sat at the kitchen table looking at the photos of her son; she wondered what had become of him. It was college that changed him she thought, too liberal that Kent State, yet she had wondered what had happened to herself after all those years. She was a budding writer, mostly of fantasy stories, about elves and the like but Buddy changed all that. They all called him Buddy, even though his name was Christian, he was Cody and Joyce's third child after Tilden and Lance and she loved him as much as she loved her other two sons. Buddy was thirteen when he, Lance had just got into Kent State, Tilden had a steady job and a beautiful wife, and she and Cody were happy then. It was three AM when she got the call, the call about the 1995 Oldsmobile whatever it was called, the call that her son wasn't going to make it home from the drive in, that her life was over. The man blew a point eight oh on the breathalyzer. She changed right away; she knew she had been a bad woman, at least in the eyes of the Wesleyans that she sometimes went to church with, so she turned to god and Cody turned to gentlemen Jim Beam, she told Lance not to take the scholarship to Suiioh, not to leave her sight. She hated the stuff he watched, the comic books he read that had to be read Ass backwards. He dressed up as a weird thing with pointy ears that was half demon, demons were hellish beings not something that should be adored. She prayed all day that he was at that comic festival; she prayed over his DVDs his manga. Nothing would change him, as she flipped through the last page Cody walked in. "Damn it Joyce you haven't stopped looking at those books since the boy called." He said as she picked up the books and hummed "Nearer my God to Thee" Cody grumbled, "You have to come to face fact's Joyce. Lance is not coming home, and you shouldn't spend time wallowing in the past." She began thumbing through a magazine. "So dear, where do you think you're going to spend eternity?" She said putting up the foot rest on her lounger. "Oh great, here we go with that shit again! You know those Doddrills have fucked your head up something wicked. Do me a favor honey, sleep in on Sunday. It'll do ya some good." Joyce looked at her husband, "It is an honest question, you know the book of Revelations says," Cody stopped her, "Frankly Joyce if you want my opinion, you can take your god and shove it up your ass!" Joyce gasped, "Heavenly father please forgive my husband," Cody stood up, and walked over to Joyce and slapped her across the face. "Now damn it that is enough! I know god well enough to know that its people like you and those nuts at the little cult you go to that are going to hell. It's about time you face facts, Buddy is dead. No amount of praying, no amount of bible beating is going to bring him back. Lance chose where he is now because he wanted to follow his bliss. You know how much he loves that Japanese cartoon crap. Joyce I hate to say this but we need to get over this hump here in our life. You need to realize that life is about what's around the corner, not what is fifteen hundred miles down the road." Joyce began to sob, "You didn't have to get the call, and you didn't plan the funeral or write the obituary. All you did was drink beer at Hap's Tavern and watch the Steelers! I need something to cling to, some shred of hope that he's going to be there when I get there. I have a phone call to make!" She said and walked over to the phone and dialed her son's number.
The phone rang just as "Grandma got run over by a Reindeer" had ended Lance paused the CD and looked at his caller ID, mommy dearest was calling. "Hey mom, what's up?" Lance said, Joyce's tone was serious, "I want you on the first plane home to the states. I will not have my son spend the holidays in some heathen haven!" Lance was shocked, "Mom, just what in the hell are you talking about?" Joyce screamed, "I am thinking of where you are going to spend eternity damn it! One percent of Japanese people are Christian; I think that makes it a breeding ground for the devil to get a hold of your soul. Get home now!" Lance laughed, "You're joking right? Please tell me you're joking, because I don't honestly believe that you are saying these things to your own son! How many pills did you take mom? Are you on any now?" Angela looked at Lance his face was red with anger, Joyce laughed, "They honor demons there! They have TV shows about them; don't tell me this isn't a breeding ground for eternal damnation. Get your ass home!" Lance shouted, "Damn it mom, what is it you always said to me and Tilden, find your own bliss? Do what makes you happy? Well Anime and Manga make me happy, living here makes me happy. Being with my friends and the woman I love makes me happy. I know why you're calling. It will be Happy's eighteenth birthday on Christmas Eve. You know that, and you're calling me and harassing me for an accident that happened when I was eighteen. Mom, I hate to say this but get a life! You used to be such a great writer. All you would do is write stories about me and Tilden in a far off kingdom. Why don't you go upstairs and revisit those and start all over. You need to get out of that rut you're in. When you do give me a call, until then do not call here again because I have guests coming in fifteen minutes and I certainly don't need this bullshit right now." Joyce screamed, "Then you can just forget about returning home! I don't want hind or tail of you around my house or my family do you hear, we're finished!" and she hung up. Lance slammed his phone down, "Damn it! She did it to me again. If it's not Anime it's Manga. If it isn't either of those then it's cosplaying or fan fiction!" He screamed as Angela wrapped her arms around him, "Relax, love it's alright. You're mum has been through a lot in her life. Now let's focus on the party!" She said and kissed him. The doorbell rang soon after.
Kasukabe and Kousaka were the first to arrive; they had gifts loaded in each arm, "Merry Christmas!" Kousaka said, Lance helped them inside and offered them a drink. Lance poured himself a Coke over ice while Angela was making some hot cocoa on the stove. Others followed Sassahara and Oguie, Madarame, Ohno and Tanaka, Kugayama and of course the now bandaged, Kuchiki. Lance sat everyone down on the floor as Angela walked to the backroom to get everyone's presents. Lance sipped on his coke and stood up. "So Saki-Chan, I hear you're thinking about doing something with your Shippo costume?" Kasukabe growled, "No one calls me that but my boyfriend mister!" she said Lance stood behind her and smiled. "I was only kidding and grabbed something from Angela, it was some cat ears. "Smile, you're on candid camera!" Lance said as Ohno took out her digital camera and snapped a shot of the two of them together. Kasukabe playfully slugged him in the arm. After the gifts had been opened, food had been eaten, and fellowship shared everyone said goodnight to each other and walked home. Lance smiled to himself; it was going to be a great Christmas after all.
Joyce sat in front of her computer; she had just read all of her stories about Lance and Tilden, their adventures with elves and fairies. She heard a voice speak to her from behind her, "Go on Mom, You can do it!" She began typing, Buddy's spirit stood behind her and watched. "Once upon a time" she said to herself. Her phone near her desk rang, it was the Doddrills. "Ya know Betty, I think it's time I found myself a new way of living. Find my own bliss ya know!" Betty began talking about the afterlife and how she was a sinner before she met them. "Hang up on that ignorant biddy!" Buddy's voice said, she hung up right in the middle of Betty's sentence and continued writing. "You were right Lance, you were right all along." She said and began the next chapter of her story, what she should have done years ago, somewhere off in the distance a she could hear some carolers at the front door singing "Silent Night." At this moment she felt peace, she would call Lance in the morning to wishing him a Merry Christmas.
To be continued. . .