A/N: It's now time for the first game! Woot! Yeah! Um... Well... Not much to say. This is basically the morning after the Opening Ceremonies so... Let's go!
Disclaimer- TG- Hidekaz-sama, may I please have a part in the ownership of Hetalia? Please~?
Hidekaz- No.
TG- Then I guess that Tyranno's girl Productions doesn't own anything except my thoughts.
The sun was shining brilliantly over Domino City, rays of golden light gracing the normally 'blah' city. At the Crown, spectators and such were sitting and watching a commentator explain today's first game.
"Today's event will be titled: 'Survival! What to do when your car breaks down!'" When there were some questioning murmurs from the audience, the commentator spoke up, "Basically... We put each team in separate areas, both the same distance from this stadium, with their team buses. The only problem? The buses have broken down! So each team has to figure out how to fix their bus and then they have to navigate their way back to this stadium."
---
"The team that gets back to the Crown first wins the challenge! And remember: No outside help! No AAA, no calling for family, no GPS! You're all on your own! Good Luck!" Team Uke was watching the commentator explain the rules from inside their bus. What was on most of their minds right now, however, wasn't the challenge.
It was their uniforms. Their pink, fluffy-looking, uniforms.
Itachi growled softly before standing up and stating, "Okay Team Uke! Let's get outside and fix this thing!" There were cheers of approval all around. However, when they all were outside, Ranmaru asked, coughing slightly,
"Does anyone know how to go about trying to fix this?"
There was silence all around. A car drove passed them and a voice jeered, "Nice shorts ladies!" Everyone groaned; Hidan took out a kunai and threw it towards the car, smiling when the sound of screeching tires and screams of 'Ow, my legs!' could be heard. Itachi yelled,
"Damn it all! Feliciano! Naruto! Tobi! All I told you guys to do was wash the uniforms so that they would be nice and clean for today. Why in heaven's name," Itachi gesture to his own uniform, "Are they pink?!"
You see, when the ukes had first seen their uniforms, they had been a deep shade of red. They looked beautiful, even if they were t-shirts and shorts. But Itachi, being an Uchiha perfectionist, had assigned N. Italy, Naruto, and Tobi to wash them so that they would be extra clean.
"Ve... But we did wash them! Just like you said!" The auburn-haired nation sighed, that oblivious smile on his face. Naruto added,
"Yep! And we went above and beyond too, dattebayo!" Tobi held up a jug of Clorox and cheered,
"We were sure to use plenty of bleach so that they would be extra, sparkly-clean!"
...
"YOU DUMBASSES!!"
---
"Can I get a wrench over here?" Kevin Levin asked from underneath the Team Seme bus, the only part of him that was visible were his legs covered in the blue pants of the Team Seme uniform. Stan Marsh handed the mechanic of Team Seme the wrench, asking,
"How does it look?"
"Nothing I haven't been able to fix..." Kevin replied. Earlier, there had been a bit of a power-struggle (as there always is when it comes to muscular men and their toys), but Kevin had shown that he was the most suitable when it came to matters of automobiles. And soon...
"Germany! Start her up!" The blonde nodded and turned the keys in the ignition. Like a very pleased kitten, the bus started purring. All the semes cheered and got into the bus before beginning the drive back to the Crown.
---
"So... We just put thingamawhosit-A..." America mused loudly as he was messing around with the engine of the uke bus. "..Into whatchamadoohiky-C and..." There was a large explosion, shocking all of the ukes before America lifted his smoke-covered head out of the engine and hummed, "Maybe it should have been whirlymagig-F instead..." All the ukes sighed as they waited for America to be the hero and do something to the car. But soon, the cheerful blonde popped out of the engine and stated, "I did it! Let's go, go, go!"
"Great job America," Itachi began as he walked into the bus, "I knew we could count on you!" When everyone was in, Iruka started the car and drove... exactly five feet before the vehicle crashed to the ground.
"God damn it America," Itachi yelled, "I knew we couldn't count on you!" The blonde nation huffed,
"I don't understand! I fixed it according to American standards!"
"OH DEAR GOD, WHY?!" Everyone screamed at the realization. Just then, a blue bus drove up by them. The ukes watched as the windows of the new bus rolled down and revealed the semes.
"Hi guys!" Kisame smiled, wearing his own team uniform (blue sleeveless shirt, blue pants and he had a type of banner around his head that read 'Captain') and waved quickly. Then Russia popped up next to him and waved,
"Bye guys!", before the Seme bus was gone. The ukes were silent a moment, everyone glaring at America. All of a sudden, Sonic stated,
"Why the hell am I here? I'm the fastest thing alive!" And with that, Sonic sped off in what he hoped was the direction of the Crown. America yelled,
"That blue Benedict Arnold!!" However, Itachi calmly counted down,
"3...2...1..." As soon as the brunette had counted one, Master hand was floating over to the bus, Sonic in tow. Dropping the bluenette to the ground, Master Hand stated,
"You all have to arrive as a team.", before floating off. The ukes all groaned, Chazz Princeton sighing,
"Any of you guys know how to fix cars?"
---
As the semes were driving along, trying to find their way back to the Crown, Link smiled and poked Kisame's shoulder before announcing, "Hey, you guys! You know what we should do?" Ike replied,
"What's up Link?" The blonde hero smiled before adding,
"Heh heh, we should totally have a monta--!" Out of nowhere, Midna popped in and screamed,
"NNNOOOOO!!!"(1)
"Holy crap on a crap-stick!!" Link cried out, "Midna! Where did you come from?!" The blue-skinned woman smirked,
"Oh, I just came from Hot Topic because I was buying some more hair dye and-- Hey, wait a minute!" She shook herself out of her monologue, "It doesn't matter where I came from! All that matters is that I stop you from saying what you were going to say!" Link whined,
"But Midna~! What do you have against monta--?"
"NO! Don't even finish saying it!"
"But why~?" The blonde whined again. Midna scoffed,
"WHY?! Link, you know that every time you suggest this idea, at first everyone's all like 'That's a great idea!' But then when they're done, they cry and whine 'That idea sucked!'."
"But Midna~! All I was going to say is that we should have a montage!" Link whined. After he said it, there was a collective gasp amongst all of the semes. Sasori exclaimed,
"That's a great idea!" Midna jerked before yelling, the FCC censoring certain words,
"YOU MOTHER-BEEP-IN, GOD-DAMNED, SON OF A--BEEP, BEEP-IN RETARD, BEEP-TARD, BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP-IN BEEP! BEEP-ER BEEP! CRAP!!!" She took a few deep breaths before growling, "You know what? Fuck it! Have your damn montage!" And with that, Midna disappeared. When the princess was gone, Damien whistled,
"Damn, mouthy!" Link chuckled,
"She's always like that. But yeah, let's do our montage!" Prussia ran up to the front of the bus, CD in hand, and stated,
"And I know the most awesome song to have for it too!" After placing the CD in, he pressed a few buttons before music started playing,
'What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more...'
All the semes started bobbing their heads to the side, saying "Awesome!" as they drove on.
---
"Come on guys!" Itachi yelled, "One of us has to know how to fix a car!!" Abruptly, China stood up and stated,
"I just remembered, aru! I make cars all the time, aru!" Everyone looked at the black-haired nation for a moment, not knowing what to make of his statement. Itachi clenched his hands, took a few deep breaths, and sighed,
"I won't say anything. Just go outside... and fix the damn bus." China gulped at the furious air that the Uchiha was exuding and whimpered,
"I'll... just be going, aru!"
---
Team Seme's first montage had proven successful and unsuccessful. It was successful in the fact that they had traveled a long distance without noticing it. But it was unsuccessful in the fact that they still weren't at the Crown.
Also, as they were driving, Russia's eyes saw something and he gasped, "No... They have that here too?' Kisame looked, asking,
"What is it?" But then he gasped and smiled, "'Seal on a Stick'?!" The bus was close to a restaurant called Seal on a Stick.
"I love Seal on a Stick!" Both Kisame and Russia cheered. they looked at each other and Russia asked,
"You eat Seal on a Stick?" Kisame nodded,
"Some of the best food in Kirigakure!" Both males began pestering Germany to pull over. This didn't prove to be too arduous because Germany pulled into the drive-through after a few minutes of pestering.
---
"It's done, aru!" China announced as he walked back into the bus, covered in dust and grease. Itachi sighed,
"Finally!" The team captain turned to Iruka and said, "Let's get moving!" Iruka nodded and started the car again. This time, it didn't fall apart (yay!), so the ukes could finally begin their journey.
(Cue the voice from SpongeBob Squarepants)
Six hours later...
"We made it!" Itachi cheered as the uke bus finally drove into the Crown. However, Kisame's voice called over,
"You guys finally made it!" Itachi and the rest of the ukes flinched before turning and seeing the semes enjoying lunch (dinner? lunner?). Prussia chuckled,
"By the way, love the uniforms!" That statement made the ukes blush before Deidara asked,
"How the hell did you guys get here before us, un?!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes,
"It wasn't that hard... Even taking in the fact that we must have made at least twenty stops on the way."
"Twenty?" S. Italy asked. Spain smiled,
"Si!"
"How many places did you guys stop at?" Naruto asked, genuinely curious.
"Well, there were a lot of different food places and each of them had a different taste. So... A lot." Germany replied. At this moment, China looked through some of the wrappers and bags to see if they had gone to any good Chinese food restaurants. What he found, however, caused his eyes to widen and he screamed,
"AIYA!! KENTUCKY-FRIED PANDA(2), ARU?!?!" Korea popped up, drinking a soda, and stated,
"Yep! And it was finger Ling-Ling good, Da ze!"
(Ding! Disclaimer: Tyranno's girl Productions does not, in any way, condone animal cruelty of any kind. ... I do, however, find this part hilarious.)
Ignoring all the randomness, Bayonetta spoke into her mic, "Obviously, the judges and I rule that Team Seme won this event." Shuichi and Finland nodded. "So..." On the large screen in the arena, the words 'Team Seme' and 'Team Uke' appeared. Then, underneath Team Seme, the number 50 appeared. "They get the first fifty points."
The semes all cheered, giving each other high-fives and chest-bumps, and all sorts of other stuff.
The ukes, however, could sense the evil waves coming from Itachi and could sense that they were in for the bitching of a lifetime.
A/N:
(1) This little dialogue I got from YouTube. More specifically, nevet1212's 'Legend of Zelda Abridged' series.
(2) And this I got from 'The Simpsons'.
Current score:
Team Seme- 50
Team Uke- 0
Oh boy, the ukes better step it up in the next challenge or else the semes will never let them live it down.
I hope people enjoyed the update this week. Please review.
-Tyranno's girl.