Dear Readers,
I beg your pardon for the horrifically long wait between chapters. If it seems broken up I apologize, I wrote little bits and pieces of it in the span of a couple months, and then finally sat down and finished it today. The end was planned out from the beginning of this story. I had the last lines in my head since I first started writing. Also, it gets a bit eratic...but that's nothing compared to how I looked when I was writing it, honestly. I was a bit frightening. Many many many thanks to the wonderful Prophetess for editing this monster. Now, without further ado, here is the final chapter of Memoirs: Bane's Story.
"You shower me with lullabies
As you're walking away
Reminds me that it's killing time
On this fateful day.
I'll see you at the bitter end."
-Lyrics by Placebo
Memoirs: Bane's Story.
Chapter 10. The Bitter End.
When I woke with a start, the first thing I noticed was that I was frozen in place. After a few moments of silent, unmoving panic, I realized it wasn't that I couldn't move. I was just incredibly stiff. I tried to twitch my tail, but felt nothing. That was odd…my ears twitched instead.
There, I felt them move. My head shifted slightly, causing my neck to turn by a fraction. Immediately, pain exploded through every nerve of my body. I would have screamed, but through the fire-like searing I couldn't think, much less make any kind of sound. Finally the pain ebbed. I forced myself to stay completely and utterly still, afraid that the smallest movement could provoke whatever it was that was causing me so much agony. This proved useless since I still had the need to breath, but thankfully that didn't send me into seizures like I had been worried about.
I sifted through my memories, trying to figure out what it was that had put me in such a condition. It didn't take long for me to realize that it would be impossible. Everything was a blur. The last thing I could coherently remember was Twirltongue talking to me about the assault on Regalia.
The assault! What was happening? Were we fighting now? Had I fallen asleep? Had I missed it?
Somehow I doubted that I had fallen asleep in the most critical part of my war, despite the fact that I was not supposed to be a part in it. I struggled to remember something about what happened after I had spoken to Twirltongue. I dismissed her…and then…
Nothing. I was confronted with a haze of red when I tried to remember anything after that.
I was distracted from my futile pursuits by the realization that there was something warm and soft curled against me. It had taken me a little while to identify the sensation, because I wasn't exactly aware of my surroundings. I hadn't even opened my eyes yet. I did so, very slowly, as I was still afraid that the slightest movement could send that horrible pain shooting through me once more.
My eyes opened to blood red slits, and I could see a black fuzzy blur. Curiously, I opened my eyes wider, blinking a few times to clear the grime of sleep from them. My vision cleared quickly and I was able to identify that blur as Terrormaw; she was asleep, curled up in the curve of my body.
After a moment or two I came to the conclusion that it was odd for her to be sleeping with me in such a way. She was such a solitary creature; we had only slept this way once or twice before. Normally, I awoke to Twirltongue curled by me, or I woke alone. It didn't occur to be to be worried at this unusual occurrence; my head was still a bit groggy from the heavy sleep and I probably wouldn't have been worried even if I had awoken in the midst of the Regalian army.
Leisurely, my eyes worked their way down my body to my tail. I briefly recalled that I hadn't felt anything when I tried to twitch it, and wondered, detachedly, what might have caused that. Perhaps it was merely the fact that I had just woken up. That was the only reason I could think of, but couldn't help thinking that the lack of feeling was somehow connected with the extreme pain of earlier.
My eyes rested upon the spot where my tail should have been. Where my tail should have been--it was gone.
I sat up with a swiftness that shouldn't have been possible with the stiffness I felt. Terrormaw's head raised and she blinked at me lazily, saying, "Oh, good, you're awake." I barely heard her. My eyes were focused unwaveringly at the stump that was swathed in bloody spinner silk. I stood rapidly, panicking at the sight of my severed appendage. This wasn't real. This couldn't be happening. Terrormaw was staring at me, a confused look on her face. Didn't she see? Didn't she realize my tail was gone?
I desperately thrashed what remained of my tail, and watched fresh blood soak the bandage. I lost all control then. Eyes wide with shock, outrage, and fear, I stumbled about the dark cave. My mouth opened and I think I must have said something, maybe screamed, but I didn't have a chance to do anything more.
My ravaged body protested my treatment of it. Pain, pure and blinding, wracked my body in waves. It was like my every pore was awash with acid that was eating me alive, knives and swords stabbed my back, face, and even my mind. The contortions of agony, which I was forced into, aggravated my wounds more. It was a vicious cycle, and eventually, overwhelmed by it all, I lost consciousness.
XXXXX
"He awoke, and then panicked…"
"He has ripped his bandage off."
"Indeed. Perhaps it was the sight of his tail that affected him so."
"Perhaps you should go fetch the spinners."
Voices swim around me, they sound anxious, though I cannot understand their words.
"You do it. I must be here when he wakes up."
"And who do you think you are to make such a decision?"
"Someone more interested in his welfare than the power he can bring me."
I hear a laugh. I struggle to open my eyes, to see what is happening. I cannot move.
"He is obviously still in pain. See how he flinches so?"
"Stop that!"
"I would like to see you make me."
I continue trying to open my eyes. Blurs of color burst into view. The shock forces my eyes closed once more.
"And I would like to--did you see that?"
"What?"
"There! His eyes flickered…"
"You are seeing things."
A sudden sharp pain twists through me, and I sink back into the merciful oblivion.
XXXXX
That was many days ago. I regained consciousness, and at that time, Twirltongue calmly explained to me all that had happened. She told me of the fight waged between the Warrior and me, and how he sliced off my tail. Terrormaw then filled in details about the siege of Regalia and assured me that I had slain the human. She told me that the Regalian's morale had dropped significantly without their savior. Twirltongue reminded me of how easy it would be to destroy them now that they were in this condition.
They spoke of other things as well; how we would be battling at the Plain of Tartarus; how they had sent emissaries to the spinners; and how they had assassins waiting for the Regalian general.
I dismissed them. I cared for none of it. I was king. What kind of king bothered himself with insignificant things like troop movements, and the like? Now I am by myself, the spinners that recently bandaged my tail having gone already.
It is just before the battle. This is the battle that will decide the fate of the Underland, a fight waged on the Plains of Tartarus. Unlike the siege at the wall, I have no vantage point from which I can watch the goings on. I must rely on my sense of hearing, straining to catch whatever sounds may drift to this dark corner where I have hidden myself.
I am alone, or as alone as I can be under the circumstances. It seems that no matter where I try to hide, He always finds me. I know it's silly to think that I can escape something that resides within my own mind, but I cling to the foolish hope that one day I will wake to find Him gone. Gone forever, and I won't have to listen to His poisoned whispers any longer.
I know that He has won, this horrible presence that I feel, even now. At first I accepted Him, and accepted that He could fight my battles for me. I need Him, I know, I have lived so long with Him that I am afraid I could no longer function with Him gone. So, much as I hate it, I have come to rely on Him. But I do know the truth.
In the end He will kill me. When He has no further use for me, He will dispose of me, and rule undisputed.
I cannot fight Him. Perhaps I could have before, when He was merely a sibilant whisper. Now, however, I know that I'm too weak to challenge Him. He has but to grab control at the right moment and I will be vanquished, my consciousness cast into the obscurity from which I imagine Him spawned. He cares not for what happens to me, cares not for anyone else either. He takes what He wants, when He wants, no matter the cost. I mourn for any that get in His way, and thus, I mourn for myself.
In the end, I know what must happen. I shudder when I think of it. For Him to die...I too must be slain. He will not permit it, and all will be darkness. All will be death. I close my eyes…and I am Bane.
XXXXX
It was meant to be this way. Strong mind, strong body, strong will. I have to admit, Pearlpelt defied me for much longer than I thought his weak would be able to handle. But good things come to those who wait, I suppose. And to those who terrorize the mind of an unstable adolescent.
Why am I down here in this hole anyway? I could believe it has something to do with my injuries, but I highly doubt that. It is most likely the work of Twirltongue, for my own good of course. The female is a nuisance. She has had her uses in the past, corrupting Pearlpelt with a skill I would find impressive in anyone else, and spearheading this war and the genocide. However, she has recently run counter to my wishes and for this she must be punished. The female has outlived her worth.
I stretch, getting used to my body and gauging the extent of my wounds, then shrug. I've had worse. Looking around, I catch sight of the tunnel leading out to the Plains of Tartarus. I'm certain there was some reason for being in the cave, but out there was the battle. My battle. The one that would decide who ruled the Underland. I had no doubt in my mind who would come out victorious in this ultimate show of power, but I had the right to be a part of it. Today was a special day after all, after this minor altercation was out of the way, I would be crowned the King of the Underland.
XXXXX
Rage. Fury. Hate. Loathing. Abhorrence. There is no word in the language of humans or tongue of gnawers, or any other language Over or Under to describe the feeling streaming through me. I was led to believe that the Warrior was dead. Perished from the wounds I inflicted upon him in our earlier encounter. I broke his spine! I heard it snap! I was lied to. They lied to me, saying that he was dead, saying that his light had been darkened.
To compound upon my dismay, the Regalian's have somehow managed to quadruple their forces. All the information that fool of a rat, Pearlpelt, had ignored, I had heard. They should not have this many allies, this many troops; they should not be so well prepared. Come to think of it…they should not be here at all! We would have heard them coming long before they attacked us!
My teeth grind together as I watch the scene unfold before me. A slight distance to the side of the main battle, a striped bat was fluttering in front of a cave, attempting to fight off one of my soldiers, and having a hard time of it. An enormous black-furred bat was rocketing toward the female, the Warrior on his back. What was going on over there? It was just one bat, why would that worry the Overlander so? It doesn't matter. My soldiers are shrieking his name, no doubt waiting for me to emerge and defeat him like I did last time. Like I thought I did last time. This time I'll have to make sure I don't disappoint. This time I'll rip him limb from limb and keep his head as a trophy. I'd like to see him come back from that.
Adrenaline thrusts my legs against the ground, and I tear through the battle. Blind to all else besides the vile human who was making short work of many of the other rats, I push past human, bat, and gnawer alike. Those who do not get out of my way are crushed beneath my feet, or swept out of my path.
Within minutes I was feet away, and yet he didn't notice me, so absorbed as he was in his own fight. His flier on the other hand was frantically trying to get his attention. I grinned, near drunk with the bloodlust that consumed me, and struck. At the last moment the flier swerved to the side, just out of my reach, and instead of tearing through the Warrior's head, my claws clashed against the stone wall I'd almost had them pinned against.
My eyes followed their path briefly before I realized that they were headed back for the thick of the battle. I followed with no hesitation, furious that I had been so close only to be thwarted. Anger fueled my steps, and my claws, which mauled anything unfortunate enough to be within reach of me since I couldn't reach the Warrior.
Where did they think they were going? They were headed straight for the tunnel I'd just come from. I followed, unable to do anything else, and roared a challenge to the Warrior. Fight me you gutless bastard. Turn around and fight me. Stop running like the coward you are and fight. Fight me. Fight!
The tunnel was long, and full of gaps and ledges I had to cross or bound over, and anger isn't a sufficient fuel for long races. My muscles burned, and my breath came in ragged gasps, and soon the flier pulled ahead, just out of sight. I paused for a short moment, chafing at the delay, but my body had been nearly spent before the fight and I was running on my last reserves of energy.
"What are you doing, Bane, darling?" A slick sweet voice questioned from just behind me. Twirltongue. Tired as I was, I only spared her a half hearted glare, as she was not worth a full one. I also didn't answer her as she sauntered easily out of a smaller tunnel that branched off of this one. Then my eyes began to sting, it took me a moment to realize the cause was blood trickling down from the wounds on my face. The wounds that were a souvenir of my last encounter with the Warrior.
"The Warrior is getting ahead of you, my dear," The lithe female observed; her voice was pleasant with a slight hint of disappointment. As if she was talking about an unsatisfactory fish, and not the fate of the Underland. "You should follow him."
"I know that," I snarled at her. Anger flickered behind her dark eyes for a moment before being quickly stifled. She wasn't used to being addressed that way. Not by Pearlpelt, anyway.
"Come, this is no time to rest," Her smooth voice losing a bit of the honey coating and taking on the slightest edge of command, "You cannot lose him. If you've lost him, the you have lost to him."
That did have a bit of logic to it. I got to my feet, muscles tensed and ready to run again. They protested slightly, but I ignored the soreness; at least now I could breathe. Before I took off, however, Twirltongue clambered onto my back. I twisted around to give her an incredulous look.
"You didn't expect me to walk did you? I won't be able to keep up." She said this smugly, but I couldn't begin to fathom why I would need her anyway. Unless I used her as a projectile weapon. The idea amused me for a brief moment, and I almost smiled. She on the other hand looked slightly annoyed, "Go! We will not be able to find them if you've given them such a head start!"
Spurred into motion by her words, or rather by my anticipation for a true battle, I sprang down the tunnel. Finally, I emerged in a large open cavern, tired but victorious. Every part of me hurt in some way, whether from previous wounds, or overuse, and I was hot. Hotter than I had been even in the Fire Lands. Without my tail to release the excess body heat, I was overheating fast. I choked down mouthfuls of air, and still couldn't catch my breath.
The Warrior and his flier had lit down upon a plateau in the center of the cavern, pulling from the last reserves of my strength I launched toward the cause of my current, suffering state. At the last minute the flier took to the air, much to my displeasure, but not to my surprise. I fully intended to start leaping for the bat, but Twirltongue tapped me on the side with her tail.
"Take a minute," she told me as she left her spot in between my shoulder blades, "Calm yourself before you destroy him." I caught myself before I replied 'Yes, Twirltongue.' No, I didn't take orders from her. I was the Bane. Obeying Twirltongue was something that Pearlpelt did. He was weak, I was strong.
However, her words made sense. No use pursuing him in my state, especially since if I rested then he would have to come to me. Twirltongue settled herself on a pile of boulders, her calm gaze shifting between the Warrior and myself as if she was watching a game. Then the Warrior spoke.
"You're looking good, Twirltongue," he observed from the back of his flier, "A little too good. Seeing much action? Or are you just sending the Bane in to lose his tail and such?"
What nonsense was that little insect spewing? Something about my tail, those were the only words that I caught onto, the only ones that held some kind of meaning. "My tail? My tail?" I repeated trying to understand the significance of these words. 'My tail!' A surge of panic coursed through me.
"My tail!" I twisted around looking for it, aware that something was wrong. What had happened to it? It was gone…my tail was gone! When had that happened! When had--
"A king does not need a tail." Twirltongue's authoritative, calm voice broke through my cluttered, panic-clouded mind. Twirltongue had told me I lost my tail in my last battle with the Warrior. That's right. I remember now. I took a deep breath, trying to get my thoughts organized again.
"He's not going to be king," The Warrior countered, "Are you, Pearlpelt?"
This I knew the answer to, I was king of the gnawers, and once the Warrior was dead and all resistance was crushed I would be king of all the Underland. "I am king. I am king now! The rats follow me!"
The Warrior continued, not the least bit deterred by my words, "Then how come they're out there attacking you? Plus the spinners, the crawlers, the fliers, the nibblers. Hey, that whole nibbler thing kind of blew up in your face, didn't it?"
No, I was king. The gnawers out there were all traitors. Traitors to their own kind. Gnawers were supposed to follow the Bane into an age where gnawers ruled, and I was the Bane. They should follow me, so I was king. But they betrayed me, and so they must be punished. Killed. Killed. All of them killed. Because I was king. Twirltongue said I was king, and she didn't lie to me. The Warrior was wrong.
"Twirltongue says I'm the king!" I snarled. Twirltongue, she cared for me. She was my friend. She used me, she was conniving, she was a liar. No, she wanted me to be king, said I was king!
"Yeah? Is that how it looks to you?" That damn human, he just wouldn't shut up would he? Shut up! Shut up! Let me think. I can't think clearly. "Because from up here, it looks like she's getting you killed so she can take over."
"What?" The thought hadn't occurred to me, or had it? Had I thought this before? Been told before? "What?" I was covered in wounds, the blood loss was making me light headed. Sticky crimson was gumming up my eyes making it hard for me to see…but I could see her. Calm, collected, not a silver piece of fur out of place. It was true that she hadn't fought, but how could she fight in the first place? She was so small…But if she couldn't fight she shouldn't be in a war in the first place. Shouldn't be commanding my troops, planning the attacks, telling me what to do, and where to go. "You will not take over. I'm the king. I'm the king!"
I glared at her, and she looked back, all innocence and wide eyes, and with as much composure as she could muster while being menaced by a gnawer three times her size. "Of course you're the king. Who would follow a nothing like me? He's lying!"
Twirltongue was trying to placate me, trying to switch the focus of my rage toward the Warrior. But this anger was different. She had betrayed me. I had trusted her and she betrayed me. She always meant to betray me, ever since I had been a pup going to her for comfort.
"If he's lying, then why are you untouched and I am like this?" I hissed the accusation. Twirltongue was edging away from me, trying in vain to get out of my reach should I attack her. She was right to fear me. Should fear me. I am the Bane. I am king, and she should fear me as all do in the Underland.
"Because kings are bold and brave fighters. Your scars are badges of your might," she insisted, creeping farther away, "No one would follow someone as untried and feeble as myself."
"No. You're right. No one will follow you," My voice was even, and calm, and she seemed to take this as a sign that she had succeeded in tricking me. I smiled at that foolish hope, and she smiled back, that smug little smirk that meant she thought she had won. The smile on my face twisted into a snarl, "No one will ever follow you again!"
I pounced at her, teeth sinking easily into the flesh of her neck. Her neck snapped with a satisfying crunch of bone, and blood rushed into my mouth, over flowing and running down my fur. With an easy twist of my neck the last bits of sinew and skin holding her together broke, and her head was torn free from her body. The limp corpse crumpled to the ground, looking pitifully small and weak, the limbs contorted into unnatural positions. Her silver fur was covered in gore, no longer that pristine shining coat.
A vicious grin came to my face, her head still hanging in my bloody maw. Another toss of my head flung the gruesome thing at the Warrior and his bond. This was their fate. This was the fate of all who opposed me. All those traitorous wretches that tried to supplant me as king. Tried to wrest control from me. Tried to manipulate and lie to me. This was what I would do to all of them.
Just what I had done to Twirltongue.
Twirltongue.
Twirltongue…
In an instant I came back to myself. No longer was my mind plagued by a cacophony of thoughts from seemingly a million different places. Trying to clear my vision I passed my paws over my eyes a few times, clearing the grime from them and adjusting my sight. What had happened? I couldn't remember the events of the past hour or so…it was all a blur. I think I remember Twirltongue and the Warrior. Twirltongue! She would help me. Of course she would, she always did. I cast a cursory glance around the cavern, "Where's Twirltongue?" I was confused; why wasn't she here to help me? She always helped me. Wasn't she here? Why would she leave? "Where did she go?"
Then I caught the slightest trace of Twirltongue's scent under the smell of all the gore. Carefully I traced it, sniffing deeply I could tell something was wrong. Some of this blood smell was Twirltongue's and not mine. Why would she be hurt. She can't be hurt, she has to take care of me! And then I saw it. Horror filled me. "Twirltongue? Twirltongue?" I whimpered desperately as I stared at her bloody carcass. No, no, no, no, no. Twirltongue, you can't be dead. You aren't dead. Don't die. Don't leave me. You've left me. Just like mother.
"She's dead…she's dead…" Twirltongue…my friend, the one person who had cared for me after my mother was killed, her body all bloody and mangled. Who? What? Why? What had happened? There's an empty feeling in my stomach and my throat has been clogged with my heart, which has grown about five times it's normal size and is currently twisting with contortions of anguish. Why did you leave me, how could you leave me? I grit my teeth against the tears I can feel getting ready to spill, stinging at my already irritated eyes. Eyes that flickered around the cave looking for the cause of all my distress. They landed on the Warrior.
Him. He did it. He killed Twirltongue. She's dead because of him. It's his fault! His fault that I'm alone again! His fault, his fault, his fault. The emptiness in my stomach feels like it's been filled with roiling, hot, rage. "You killed her!" I scream my fury at him, snarling. Every inch of my body consumed with a blinding, searing hatred. It's been his fault all along. All because of him, I'm alone. Have always been alone. "Just like you killed my mother!"
I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stay still. Couldn't look at him sitting there, alive, when everyone I'd ever loved was dead. Dead because of him. He killed them all. But now I would kill him. I launched myself at him with a wild abandon. I didn't care if I died; would prefer if I died. I didn't care if I was king or if it had all been a lie. I didn't care. I just wanted him dead. I wanted him to feel a fraction of the pain that he had caused me. Just the smallest sliver of the agony that I had to live through. I wanted to make him hurt. Wanted to make him scream. I wanted him dead, with his life pouring out onto the ground.
That was when everything lost it's coherence. No matter where I looked the room was spinning, and the Warrior was here and there, striking me, being struck by me. The ground was writhing beneath my feet, and my vision was blurred to the point where I was almost blind. I couldn't hear. I was being battered by overwhelming sounds of battle. I smelled blood. I smelled death. I was alone. I was killing. I was dying. I was screaming. I was--
Pearlpelt was smiling, not a very common occurrence after his siblings were killed. The young white rat was curled behind a boulder in a narrow tunnel attempting to control his giggles. His mother would never find him here, not a chance!
The Warrior had landed several strikes all over my body, but mostly around my head. My face was a bloody mess, covered in gashes and bruises. Whatever wasn't cut open was soaked with blood, not all of it my own. I had slashed open the Warrior's arm, and clipped his flier a few times, but not enough. It wasn't enough. He didn't hurt enough. He should have feared me, should have stayed dead, because now I'm going to kill him.
"I found you!" Sang a voice from behind him, Pearlpelt jumped, then laughed as his mother came out of the shadows.
They withdrew for just a moment, the flier hovering just out of my reach. Come to me Warrior, don't run like a cowardly shiner. Come and fight me. Fight me, and we'll see who wins. I'll destroy every last shred of you. Then, they came at me again. They were everywhere. Everywhere I looked and no where that I was. I roared my frustration, all movement was blurred in my vision, and now they were diving around me in dizzying circles, I couldn't keep up. I wouldn't give up, my claws shredded empty air.
"My turn!" the pup announced excitedly and buried his face into his paws. Goldshard strode off to find a hiding place.
Then they were under me. How they got there I couldn't begin to fathom. The Warrior was just there, like he had materialized under my foreleg. I had only a split second to register his presence and then the human's blade sunk into the flesh under my foreleg. I gave a scream of rage and pulled back, claws stretching to grasp at whatever I could reach. To cut him, shred him, kill him.
Pearlpelt scurried along the tunnels, his nose twitched for the familiar scent of his mother. No, that was one of the guards, no, that lead to the Labyrinth. There! She was in this tunnel.
With a grin of victory, my claws latched onto one of the flier's wings. I had them now, my jaws opened in anticipation as I drew them closer to me. I could feel the flier struggling in my grasp, but it was no use, he was trapped. His wings tangled in my claws, and there was no escape for either of them. I bit into his neck with relish, a jolt of victory flowing through my veins as I tasted flier blood. Then my eyes widened to an impossible size.
The white rat ran through the tunnel, poking into every crevice. He finally entered a large cavern, just in time to see a long tail disappearing into another tunnel.
Pain shot through me from the left side of my chest. I stared in disbelief at the sword protruding from my heart. Then I realized I couldn't breath, I gave a choked gurgle, blood filling my throat. My eyes rolled back in my head, and everything faded abruptly to a pure inky black void. No light. No sound. No pain. Nothing…except the tiniest pinprick of light in front of me. The light grew larger and brighter, to an almost blinding white, but it didn't cause me any pain. It seemed, almost…welcoming. For the first time that I could remember, I felt safe. I felt at peace.
"I see you, Mama."