"And I couldn't believe it when the principal automatically assumed that it was me who started the fire just because my hat slants at an obscure angle." Zoro said, though it didn't really look like he cared as much as he was saying.
"I think that's just an excuse for the REAL reason." Said Nami. "Unless you've forgotten, you beat his son up at the beginning of the year."
Zoro looked like he went into deep thought. "Oh yeah…" he said vaguely.
"He probably just has something against you." Usopp said as he opened up his thermos that he had brought to school with him for lunchtime. He poured the Kool-Aid inside into the little cup that is also a cover and then contently drank it. No one really wanted to tell him that he now had a red Kool-Aid mustache because they enjoyed laughing at him far too much.
"Well, because of me, you're not in any trouble." Sanji said with a certain sense of importance. "So maybe you should think about being nicer to me."
"Nicer to you?" Zoro asked, confused.
"You know." Said Sanji. "Just don't treat me so absurdly cruel like you do."
"What do you mean?" Zoro continued.
"For example, don't bring up the fact that I don't have an eighth grade reading level as much." Sanji said, sounding agitated. "Okay?"
"…Okay." Said Zoro.
Sanji gave a heavy sigh of relief.
"So, as of today, I'm officially NOT a sixth grader anymore!" Luffy cheered. "Hurray for me! Go me!"
"Yeah!" said Usopp. "We're seventh graders now!"
"And with the two Most Popular Girls in School now moving on to the high school, that must mean that I'M the Most Popular Girl in School!" Nami exclaimed happily.
"That's right!" said Sanji, slamming his fist into his palm as if he had just realized something. He pulled a list out from behind his back and knocked off the first two names on the list and moved Nami's up to Number One.
"Sanji!" gasped Nami. "You had The List this whole time and you didn't tell me?!"
"Of course." Said Sanji with a laugh. "Not only am I the Most Popular Boy in School, but I am the most Popular PERSON in School so it would be ludicrous for me not to have one!"
"So you could have moved me up to Number One ALL YEAR?!" Nami yelled.
"I suppose so." Said Sanji, looking the list up and down with a look of satisfaction. "And I guess if I REALLY wanted to, I could move you OFF The List but it's not like I'm going to do that to YOU, Nami!"
"You better not." Said Nami with an evil glare.
"I would NEVER do such a thing!" Sanji assured her. "Unless you did something to make me hate you. But I don't see what you could POSSIBLY do to make me hate you!"
"Except use you to up her popularity." Zoro cut in.
"What?" said Sanji AND Nami at the same time.
"Just think about it." said Zoro. "If she had KNOWN you had The List, she probably would have even gone out with you to put her at the top."
"Ooohh…" said Sanji as a light bulb went off above his head.
"It doesn't matter now, though, cause I'm already at the top." Said Nami nervously as she hit Zoro on the head for filling Sanji's silly little head with ideas.
"Well, he could always just move you DOWN the list." Said Luffy.
"And then blackmail you so that you'd be his girlfriend in order to get your name back at the top!" Usopp finished.
"But Sanji wouldn't do THAT!" laughed Luffy.
"Of course I wouldn't!" Sanji said. "That is a terrible thought, to abuse my power so! Nami, as you rightfully deserve it, you will keep your position."
"Oh, THANK you Sanji!" said Nami as her eyes welded up with tears.
"So will you go on a date with me for being so kind and sweet?" Sanji asked.
"No." Nami said.
"Oh well…" Sanji said as he threw the list behind him. "I don't have the authority to make changes on the list anyway because I'm in high school now."
"So you made me worry for nothing?!" yelled Nami.
"I did no such thing!" said Sanji, looking offended. "It was all the others who made you fret!"
"What are we going to do with our day off?" sighed Luffy out of nowhere.
"Do we even have to all hang out together like we did ALL WEEKEND?" Zoro asked.
"YES!" said Luffy. "Oh! Let's make that lemonade stand!!"
"No!" said Nami. "No lemonade stand!!" Then she looked at Usopp who looked like he was opening his mouth to say something. "And no Kool-Aid stand either!"
"What are YOUR plans for the day off?" said Usopp, offended. "Are you just going to sit around and put make-up on all day?"
"How dare you speak to me that way!" said Nami. "I am an EIGHTH grader now and you have to give me some more respect than that!"
Usopp clearly wasn't the type to argue for very long about matters that weren't important so he only slowly nodded to show that she had won, because Nami was the type who needed to win every battle.
"Well let's see." Said Sanji, lying back on the grass. "It's almost nine o'clock on a Monday morning. If we already can't think of something to do, then we're screwed for the whole summer."
"I've got plenty to do this summer." Zoro said. "Camps and stuff."
"Sounds like fun." Sanji said, rolling his eyes.
Zoro paused for a minute and looked as though he was fighting something back in his head. Like he REALLY wanted to say something, but knew deep down inside that he shouldn't for some reason. He twitched slightly with the desire to voice his thoughts. If he didn't say it, he would surely explode.
"Are you going to summer school to learn how to read?" Zoro said finally. "Cause it'll kind of be embarrassing if you show up at high school and can't…"
"HEY!!" Sanji yelled, sitting up. "It's only been five minutes and you're already at it again!!"
"Sorry, I couldn't help it." said Zoro. "I'll try harder next time."
Sanji frowned.
"…So…are you?" Luffy asked Sanji.
"Am I what?" Sanji replied.
"Going to summer school to learn how to read." Luffy finished.
"NO!!" yelled Sanji. "I'M NOT!!"
It was quiet.
"You should." Zoro said.
"You're not trying!!" said Sanji angrily.
"No, I really AM trying." Zoro said.
"Well then that's sad." Said Nami.
"I'M getting a summer tutor." Said Usopp. "Maybe I could get her to teach you too, Sanji!"
Sanji covered his face in disbelief for a minute and let out a slight groan. "I don't need help!" he said. "I'm coming along just fine! And I would like it if you guys didn't bring it up again!" He glared at Zoro who was spaciously looking at something else at the moment.
"I personally want to go home and go to sleep right now." Said Zoro, since he had probably been thinking of that since the last time he had added to the argument.
"How can you go back to sleep after you've gotten up and showered and gotten dressed and everything?" said Nami. "I CAN'T go back to bed after I've showered." Zoro looked at her blankly and Nami suddenly looked surprised and shocked as she looked upon Zoro. "You DID shower, didn't you?"
"Yeah." He said, but something about the way he said it wasn't too reassuring. With that, he stood up and yawned a loud and flamboyant yawn, and stretched his arms WAY up in the sky.
"Where are you going?" Luffy asked with the expression that a puppy makes when his master leaves for work every morning.
"Nowhere." Zoro answered. "We've got nothing to do."
"I don't see YOU brainstorming." Nami said.
"Well, I know where I want to go but you guys would probably hate it…" said Zoro vaguely. "Actually, maybe Sanji might want to go. I don't know if he'd enjoy it, though. It would be in his best interest."
"I'VE BEEN TO THE LIBRARY PLENTY OF TIMES!!!" yelled Sanji.
"The library?" Zoro said, raising an eyebrow. He looked up. "Ah yes. I remember. We have one of those, don't we?"
"Why can't you leave me alone…?" complained Sanji.
"I wasn't suggesting going to the library." Said Zoro. "That's where people like Usopp hang out and ONE Usopp is more than enough."
"I feel special that I am that Usopp." Said Usopp even though he wasn't catching on that it was an insult.
"Where were you thinking of?" asked Luffy.
"The gym." Said Zoro.
"Why would I have to go there?!" demanded Sanji. "Or NEED to for that matter? I'd rather go to the library…"
"I take it you've never heard of Freshman Beat Down." Said Zoro, sitting back down.
"…Freshman Beat Down?" Sanji repeated, sounding intrigued.
"Yeah, I guess not." Said Zoro. "They don't have freshmen at your private school, did they?"
"I'VE heard of Freshman Beat Down!" said Usopp. "It's AWFUL!! It's when all the upperclassmen guys in school gang up on the freshmen boys and beat them up within the first week of school as orientation!"
"What?!" Sanji said, looking shocked.
"Yes." Said Zoro. "So I plan on spending all my free time during the summer strengthening myself up so that when Freshman Beat Down rolls around, I'll be ready for them."
"Zoro, you realize that you being beefed up will just make them want to beat you up MORE." Said Nami.
"I will fend them off." Said Zoro in a determined voice.
"Think about it." said Nami. "The upperclassmen have… facial hair. And they're… eighteen and stuff. And they can drive. And smoke." She glanced at Sanji. "…Legally."
"I don't care where you guys go, but I'm going to the gym." Zoro announced.
"Well I'd better go too!" said Sanji, trying not to sound nervous.
"I'm going to start pumping up now so I'll be even bigger and tougher than Zoro!" said Luffy.
"ME TOO!!" said Usopp.
"When I'm an upperclassman, I'm going to beat you down so bad." Said Zoro to Usopp and Luffy. "It'll be my goal."
"Then I have to work even HARDER to get stronger than you!" Luffy declared as Usopp only cowered in fear.
With that, the four men stood up and punched the air and paraded off to the gym that was, thankfully, in their town center, so it was in walking distance. After Nami sat there for a moment, she gave a heavy sigh and figured she could always drop a couple pounds ESPECIALLY since she was going to be the Most Popular Girl in School and needed to set an example for all the fat girls. So she followed them there.
"All right, we don't have membership cards," said Zoro as he turned to everyone else outside the door. "So all we have to do is avoid eye contact as we walk by the front desk and the guy behind it usually doesn't say anything."
"OKAY!!!" chimed everyone. They hurried in the door and rushed past the front desk (which didn't even have a guy behind it) and ran into the main gym area.