I charged into the hotel room with my suitcase rolling by my side. The Ellen interview was in an hour. I had no idea what I was going to say. I didn't even know how Brooke and Rachel were going to do the show without me unless they already got another lead player because for sure there were going to be questions. A lot of questions.

After throwing off my dirty clothes and throwing them into the laundry bin, I grabbed clean clothes out of my drawer. It still had all my stuff in it. I brushed through my ratted hair and threw it into a high, messy bun letting my bangs fall into my face. I quickly brushed my teeth, put on a little black eye liner, mascara, and lip gloss, and threw on my red plaid mini skirt with a red tank top and a black vest over it.

I looked in the mirror.

"Good enough, It's just Ellen," I laughed to myself and slipped on my favorite black converse.

*9:16am*

We were supposed to go on at 9:20. I raced out of my cab and into the studio. I assumed the people backstage knew it was me because nobody really said anything about the random girl busting through the back of the 'Ellen' studios wearing a mini skirt and sprinting all around. I had a goal. I was trying to find Brooke and Rachel.

Quickly glancing at my phone, I found it was 9:19. Only one minute 'til Black and White Roses went on stage. And I wasn't going to be with them.

I heard Ellen's voice bounce off the walls and to where I could hear it.

"Now let's welcome Black And White Roses!" I could see on the tv in the back Brooke and Rachel kind of nervously walking on stage and I realized where the entrance to the stage was. My feet were moving before my brain processed that's where I was going.

Stepping on the stage way behind Brooke and Rachel, I started dancing to the music Ellen's DJ always played. One of Brooke's favorite songs was playing. All Time Low, 'Hello Brooklyn".

Hello, Brooklyn
Hey, LA
Take the streets all night
'Cause we sleep all day
When the world comes crashing down
Who's ready to party?
Hello, Brooklyn
Hey, LA
Coast to coast
I'll take you down in flames
Let the good times roll
We can let go
Everybody knows
There's a party at the end of the world

"Hello Brookyln" All Time Low

I danced onto the stage, faking a huge smile that, after seeing all the signs and loyal fans, grew to a real smile, glad I didn't stay quit from the band. Everything melted into me. He was right. They didn't hate me. Shock rose upon Rachel's face and happiness onto Brooke's. They rushed over and gave me two big hugs.

"I'm sorry guys," I started.

Brooke turned, looked at Ellen, and then back to me. "Yea, yea, you're fine. C'mon, we got an interview to do."

Together, Brooke, Rachel, and I all walked up to the couch and sat down. Ellen shook each our hands.

After asking the basic questions, Ellen grew a serious look.

"Okay, Paige, this is for you. Now, I'm going to ask your permission, can we show the video?"

'The video'. Is that what it was called now? Everyone knew what 'The Video' was. Why did this have to keep being brought up.

"Sure," I wasn't going to act like I'd done anything wrong...well almost anything. It wasn't my fault that my drink got spiked. And whether she played the video or not, I knew she was going to bring up Joe. So the video would just postpone that part.

The big screen played the video and as soon as it ended I braced myself.

"What exactly happened? Some people were saying the you got drunk and I didn't want to b-" Ellen already started with the negatizing. I loved Ellen, I thought she wasw awesome! Her show was super funny but I hated being negatized.

Rachel looked freaked out for me. I could just imagine what she was thinking. And Brooke, well Brooke had a giant dorky smile on her face while looking into the 'distance'.

"Okay, this is what happened. I went to my friend, Kelly's, ninteenth birthday party. It was all casual, super fun, I got to see alot of my old friends. Well, someone, I don't know who, thought it'd be funny to spike my drink. By the way, by drink I mean mountain dew. And then someone else, or the same person, again, I don't know, filmed me saying some things that I...really, really regret saying. While I'm on here, I'd like to tell that person how sorry I am and that I hope I'll never hurt him again like that."

You would think that by me not saying his name, she would know that I don't want to talk about him.

"You mean Joe, am I correct?"

I just nodded.

"From what I hear, nobody knows why you two aren't already dating. May I ask, why? And what exactly do you want?"

"Because...Joe and I are definently not a couple. We are just..." I didn't know what word to use so I searched my not very big vocabulary. "...friends."

Now I guess the word was appropriate. I could consider Joe a friend.

"Well I hope that works out for you guys. Now Brooke, I hear that you're a huge fan of All Time Low, is that true?"

Brooke's eyes lit up. "Yea!"

She squealed the squeal she only squeals when someone grabs her sides and turned around to find the four boys from All Time Low standing before her. She quickly wrapped her arms around the lead vocalist/guitarist, Alex. I seen a big smile come from him.

"OHMIGOD! I LOVE YOU GUYS!" She screeched when she realized what was going on.

"You girls are pretty fine yourselves," bass player Zack spoke up, looking me up and down. So not my type.

Rachel didn't even give any of them a second glance. Not only did she not care for their music, she didn't really like them either.

"So Paige," Rachel decided to take the attention off of All Time Low and back to us. "Remember you said you were gonna write a new song just to perform on here?"

Stupid me. I completely forgotten about that.

"Umm...yea," I was a bad liar.

I knew I'd have to come up with something on the spot.

"Oh yea!" Ellen's attention jumped back to us. "When we get back from commercial, Paige is going to perform on her own!"

The crowd went crazy.

*After commercial*

"Okay, here's Paige!" Ellen announced.

The guitar shook in my hand.

My thoughts went back to what Ellen said earlier. 'What do you want?'

"Umm..." I mumbled into the microphone. "Here it is..."

I started to strum the guitar.

I dont know what i want, So dont ask me, cause im still trying to figure it out.
Don't know what's down this road,
im just walking.
Trying to see through the rain coming down.
Even though im not the only one,
that feels the way i do.

Im alone, on my own, and that's all i know.
I'll be strong, i'll be wrong,
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans,
And im wearing my heart on my sleeve. Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine.
Can you tell me what more do i need?
And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah,
but that's okay.

Im alone, on my own, and that's all i know.
I'll be strong, i'll be wrong,
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

Maybe im just a girl on a mission,
but im ready to fly.

Im alone, on my own, and that's all i know.
Oh, i'll be strong, i'll be wrong.
Oh, but life goes on.
Oh, im alone, on my own,
and that's all i know.
Oh, im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

A Place in This World (Taylor Swift)

I strummed the last note and bowed. Everyone clapped and I knew winging it must've worked.

We finished the Ellen show and the second Brooke left with Alex. I started to get a weird feeling about those two, maybe I shouldn't of let her go.

*Three weeks later*

Everything seemed pretty normal again. I guess it wasn't really as bad as I thought. Rachel and Nick went out frequently and Brooke and Kevin did, too. I didn't see Joe at all and I kinda wanted too so when I sat alone in the hotel while everyone else was on their frilly dates and my phone went off saying Joe sent me a text, I didn't hesitate reading it.

The text read:

Be at my house in a half hour?

I replied:

Sure

And after changing into my skinnies and black tank with a pink one over it, I left for Joe's.