A/N: Yes, I am alive despite my body trying to kill me. Again. Don't ask. I ain't going into details. Here is the last chapter. I'm not promising a epilogue or any more for this story. I'm dry on this lake. Sorry. So, if it happens, YAY! If not. Oh, well. I hope you enjoy this cause I wrote it just before I went into the hospital and I haven't been writing since then. I hope you all are doing better than me! Much love and thanks for all the support. It meant more than you know.

Chapter Eleven: Cooling Off and Calamari

BELLA POV

The wedding was beautiful. Small, intimate, family and close friends only. Paparazzi assumed it was mine to Edward and we just laughed when some showed up unannounced and saw me in the wedding party as the Maid of Honor and not the bride. They still managed to run a decently popular story, much to my irritation.

"Hey, at least I look fantastic." Rose chimed in as I tossed the magazine to the floor in disgust.

"True." I agreed with a sigh. "I'm just tired of being harassed by complete strangers, y'know? I'm not famous. I'm nobody. I'm not interesting or beautiful or even popular. I just don't get it."

"Alright, Bella. I'm going to say this once, and only once, because I'm cranky, I started showing seemingly overnight, I'm constantly hungry and god help you when I'm hungry and slightly inconvenienced," she glared when I snorted, "and I'm sick of you putting yourself down whenever you see shit in the gossip rags."

I pulled her feet into my lap and began massaging them in hopes of easing her up off what was surely going to be another lecture. "You're gonna be a great mom." I said and grinned when she immediately teared up.

"I'll kick your ass later if you make me cry." She threatened and I pantomimed zipping my lips and locking it. "Better. Now, you know how Edward and I view you, yes?" It was more of a demand than a question.

My shoulder twitched up in a jerky shrug. "I know how you see me." I murmured quietly.

She pulled her feet from my hands and sat up, turning my face to look at her. "Where is this self-deprecation even coming from? I thought we were past all this and then the last six weeks you've been turning more and more inward. Is it because of the wedding?"

I shook my head, hating when the tears spilled over. And I absolutely hated the way my voice warbled when I spoke while crying. "I think Edward is going to break up with me."

"What?! Why?! What's that asshole been saying to you?!" Rose immediately went into a fury, blue eyes blazing yet icier than ever.

I chuckled and sighed, swiping my sleeve under my eyes and nose. "It's not what he's been saying or doing… he's been pulling away from me. Ever since we found out your eggo was preggo, he's been interacting with me less and less. Less conversation, less interest, and…" I sighed heavily wondering if I should be calling myself a whore.

"And what, sweetness?" Rose prompted gently, putting her arm around me.

"We haven't had sex since we came back from our little vacation." I admitted quietly.

"Have you tried talking to him about it?" She prodded.

"A couple times, but he always blew me off, promising we'd talk later. And then later never came." I muttered. "It's okay, though." I reassured her. "I'm not one to sit idle and wither away. You know me. I've got a plan." I said she nodded, not asking more.

A couple of days later, I really couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed a box that happened to have "DONATIONS" on the outside and started packing everything I'd left at Edward and Emmett's apartment. Some movies, some clothes, my toiletries, some knick-knacks, and my favorite pillow.

I made my way down and called a taxi, getting in just as Edward drove up. He waved and all I had the maturity left to do was scratch under my eye with my middle finger. His confused surprised expression amused me but I didn't show it. I just gave my uncles' address to the cabbie and off I went.

Edward needed to figure his shit out and I needed to be somewhere where I was at least treated like a person with feelings.

EDWARD POV

What the hell was that about? I thought in confusion, wondering what I did to piss her off enough to flip me the bird and take off that way. And then I went into the apartment and instinctively knew something more was wrong. Something was off. But what?

I decided I'd make dinner tonight and put on her favorite movie to cheer her a little. While the water boiled, I opened the entertainment center and blinked. The movies were arranged in alphabetical order but there were a handful missing, including Bella's favorite, Tank Girl.

I read through the titles there and started realizing that all of the movies Bella had brought over were gone. Dread began to build up in my chest. Running to our bathroom, I saw her toiletries all gone. Our bed had only my pillow on it and our closet was bare of anything of Bella's.

"Oh, god, oh, shit." I repeated over and over as I tried to find some sign of her, something that meant she would have to come back. That's when I noticed it on the nightstand. An envelope with my name on it. My hands shaking, I slowly opened it. The first line had me laughing a little hysterically.

"Quit freaking out, stupid, I'm not breaking up with you." I sighed in relief and dragged a still-shaking hand down my face. "However, you do need to leave me alone for a while and figure your own shit out. I tried talking to you but you kept blowing me off. You'd promise to talk later and it NEVER happened. Honestly, I have wanted to kick your ass for the last month. So, since you never let me get it out, prepare your anus." That time I couldn't help laughing. It was a joke we'd been making since Emmett's hairy moon made its appearance. There was an inch of open space underneath the last sentence before it began, only this time, I was being ranted at.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, DUDE!? Ever since we found out Rose was preggers, you haven't so much as looked at me with anything more than mild interest. We haven't had sex. We haven't made out or fooled around. We haven't TALKED. What the hell is your goddamn problem? Did you suddenly decide that I wasn't what you wanted? If you want to break up with me, why lead me on? Why drag it out? Are you freaked out that Rose is preggo and don't want us to fall into that 'too-young-to-have-kids' category? Is there someone else? WHAT?! I'm willing to hear you out. To listen. To try and work things out. But if you're not willing, just fucking TELL ME already so I can move the fuck on! I'm tired of this shit. And I put up with it longer than I should have. TWO MONTHS. Let me know what the fuck you want so I can stop wasting my time, huh? If you haven't contacted me by Saturday, I'll have your decision and I'll make sure to lose your number."

I turned the paper over and smiled sadly. "P.S. I still love you, Edward. I just want you to be happy. And if that involves removing me from the picture, then so be it. Just give me two days with no contact and please try and figure shit out before Saturday. Today is Sunday so that should give you enough time to decide what you want. Sorry for bitching at you but what else can I do?"

Walking back into the kitchen, I turned the stove off. I wasn't hungry anymore.

"Edward, are you okay?" Rosalie asked as she entered the dining area.

"Yeah. Why?" I said, looking away from her.

"Well, for one, you're clutching a piece of paper and crying." She said and my hand shot up to touch my face. I was, in fact, crying.

"Excuse me." I said and quickly walked around her, closing my door, and when I leaned against it, my legs gave out. Sitting, clutching the paper, I buried my face in my knees and cried. It had been a long time since I'd been so emotionally hurt that I cried. A very long time. "I really fucked up." I whispered. I only hoped that she wouldn't change her mind in two days and decide to leave me.

BELLA POV

Although I asked Edward for a couple of days with no contact, I had forgotten we'd see each other around campus. Same school and all. Derp.

I walked out of class with one of my new friends, Josh, both of us laughing as we spoke in obnoxious, pompous, slightly British-sounding accents. "Indubitably, my dear Watson!" I said and linked our arms while gesticulating wildly. Turns out Watson was his actual last name which was why we were dicking around in the first place. His new girlfriend, Anna, sidled up to us and linked with his other arm.

"I dare say!" She piped up. "I do believe it is time for a mid-afternoon repast!" We friggin lost it at that point.

"Oh my blob, Anna, I frakking love you." I laughed. "Where should we eat?"

"I don't know, but can you get your boyfriend to stop giving me the stink-eye?" Josh asked.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Just shut up and kiss your girlfriend." I joked. But to my surprise he did and I glanced over at Edward from across the quad. He looked surprised and gave me a hesitant wave. I nodded at him and wondered if he would actually talk to me. It was hard enough being so close to him and not knowing what he was thinking, but the fact that it was Thursday and he hadn't called me stung a bit.

He made his way over and my hands grew sweaty as they clutched the straps of my backpack. Josh started talking in his ridiculous accent again. "Goodness me, I dare say your chap is coming this way. Shall my dear Anna and I leave you two alone?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "I dunno. Would you mind sticking around in case I need a ride?"

"We'll wait over by the willow tree. Wave if you want us to leave or just come over if you need a ride." Anna said. Before they walked off, she added, "Or if he wants to come eat with all of us, that's cool, too."

I nodded as they walked away.

Heart hammering in my chest? Check

Palms sweaty? Check.

Vomit working its way up from my nauseas stomach? Ugh, double check.

"Hey." Edward said softly.

My throat tried to close but I cleared it and looked at him. "Hey." I finally managed. "You look like hell." I wanted to facepalm. Nice one, Bells. Way to reel him in.

He chuckled. "Thanks for your honesty." I cringed a little. "You look beautiful." He replied and my heart quickened again. "Tired, though." I nodded. Unsure of what to say. "Me, too." He whispered. "I don't sleep so well without you."

"Me, neither." I admitted softly. "So…" I trailed off. I didn't want to rush him but he did walk over here on his own. "Did you decide anything?" I asked hesitantly.

His face saddened, though he smiled. My heart tripped over itself and nearly stopped. Oh, god, he's breaking it off. Was the last thought before he reached out and pulled me into his arms. "There was never anything for me to decide, love. I just needed a reality check." He said quietly. "I love you so fucking much." His voice was muffled by my hair and throat, where he'd buried his face at my shoulder. "I didn't mean to push you away like that. I also nearly got my ass kicked by Rose. She's even scarier with Jelly Bean kicking her in the hormones."

I started laughing and crying at the same time. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too, Bella." He said and handed me something. Before I could ask, he continued. "That is my journal. I started keeping it when we met through snail mail last year and I've been writing in it every night for the last three months. I dog-eared the section that will hopefully tell you what's been going on through this dumb brain of mine and clear up any misconceptions you may have about how I feel for you and what I think of you." My mouth dropped open in shock. "You can read the whole thing if you want." He offered hesitantly. I just nodded and put the book in my backpack before stepping forward and hugging him again.

His stomach growled. Loudly. Mine replied even louder. "They're plotting against us." I whispered, pointing between us.

Edward dropped his forehead to mine and laughed. "I missed you."

"Well, all you had to do was come find me." I pointed out gently. He nodded and leaned down to kiss me. I contemplated stopping him for all of point three seconds before leaning up and meeting him halfway. It was a good kiss. Gentle, sweet, reverent. Then our stomachs growled simultaneously. "Sushi?" I asked.

"Sushi." He replied, grinning crookedly. I missed that.

Lacing our fingers together, I led him over to introduce him to Josh and Anna and we all went out for sushi. Edward and Josh got on like a house on fire. Which was funny, considering Edward had wanted to kick his ass for hitting on me when we first met. Anna and I watched as they talked animatedly about some foreign band I'd never heard of but it sounded like I'd love them. My mind drifted to the difficulties Edward and I had been having right as the heavens let down a torrent of water. I was grateful to be inside with the thunder and lightning raging outside.

"We'd better pay and leave. This downpour is only going to get worse." Anna said. I nodded and the guys got up to go pay at the counter.

"Edward, duck!" I called out too late. He got nailed in the side of the head with some dude's fried calamari. Edward turned to glare at the guy when surprise lit up his face.

"You walk past your poor cousin four times and don't even notice me?" The blonde guy asked. Anna and I got up to go see what was going on and watched in amusement as the guys hugged, and a short black haired beauty popped up and gave me an adorable little wave. Edward held out his hand to me.

"Jasper, this is my beautiful girlfriend, Bella. Bells? This is my cousin Jasper and his lovely fiancé Alice. I had no idea they were even in town." He said and shoved playfully at Jasper. I greeted them and then a thought struck me.

Calamari is squid and I haven't given Edward a new nickname in a while… oh my friggin gawd… I completely lost my shit and started laughing hysterically. Alice and Anna both prodded me to find out what was up while the guys watched us and talked amongst each other. I barely heard Edward warning them that I'd need a few minutes to get my shit together before I could answer them while I whispered my mental revelation to the girls.

They looked at the ground where the calamari lay, looked at each other, then looked at me before they, too, started laughing. The guys moved as one to the counter and finally took care of the checks. With the rain pouring down, and a plan to have Jasper and Alice follow us back to the apartment, Edward and I ran for his car, getting in quickly and turning on the heater.

At the last stoplight, I started to feel nervous. It felt like longer than a few days that I'd been gone. Another crash of the elements above us had me jumping and then chuckling softly as I looked up at the sky fondly.

"What's up?" Edward asked quietly as the light turned.

I shook my head. "I just love storms, is all."

"What about them do you love?" He asked curiously.

We stopped at the gate, Edward let the guard know to let in Jasper and Alice, and we kept driving. When he parked, we both climbed out, and I was trapped against the car door between his hands.

"What about storms do you love?" he asked again. As if on cue, thunder boomed and rolled across the land making me jump and then laugh.

"I love storms because it lets me know that sometimes… even the sky needs to scream and cry." The way he looked at me then, his hair sticking out in every direction, his eyes a little wide, his face a little awed, had me instantly pulling him down to kiss me. A few seconds later, we were interrupted by Jasper and Alice. Jasper whistled and Alice giggled. Instead of pulling away like I expected, Edward pulled me close against him and turned to dip me. I barely heard Jasper telling Alice to stop taking pictures and her telling him to piss off.

I smiled against Edward's mouth. I knew I liked her. When he righted the both of us, we were both grinning.

I shoved Edward forward with Jasper so I could walk with Alice and pick my favorites for her to text me. We exchanged numbers as we walked, laughing and sharing dirt on our boys. I learned Jasper was a talented rodeo boy but hated working the circuit so he quit as soon as his mother couldn't legally order him about. Alice told me the second she saw him and their eyes met, she knew they would get married. I told her about how I was a huge fan of Edward's until I thought he had sold out and sang all those "Oh, baby" songs and then about how Rose had jokingly signed me up for the fan club. Well, anyway, I gave her the rundown and I really enjoyed her reactions to our ridiculous shenanigans.

We walked into the apartment behind the guys, who were blocking part of the doorway with Emmett squeezing the life outta Jasper. Nonplussed, I literally shoved them aside and dove onto the couch where Rose was curled up so I could cuddle her and rub her belly while talking to Jelly Bean. I completely ignored everyone and everything else until my two minute ritual was done.

"Bitch, you're gonna flip your shit." Rose said while rubbing her stomach with one hand and stroking my hair with the other.

"You're having twins." Alice said quietly, looking straight at Rose's very pregnant-looking belly. Rose hadn't been kidding when she said she had started showing seemingly overnight.

"How did you know?" Rose asked, clearly shocked.

"Holy fudging brownies, you've got TWO demon-spawn?!" I gaped.

She looked at me and deadpanned, "Demon-spawn? Seriously?"

"Chest-bursters?" I tried jokingly. "OW! DAMMIT WOMAN!" I complained, holding my forehead where Rose had flicked me. "Jeez, sorry. I keep forgetting you're a hormonal beast right now."

"Damn straight." Rose retorted. "Who are you, anyway?" She asked, turning to Alice again.

Introductions were made and Alice was welcomed into the fold. Then I told Rose what happened at the sushi restaurant (which she was incredibly pissed off about not getting to go for quite some time since raw fish is a big no-no for the pregasaurus). She lost her shit as bad as I had.

"So, how are you two?" She asked when Alice was brought over to Emmett for introductions. "You and Duracell, I mean."

I chuckled and shook my head. "We still have some talking to do but I think we're gonna be just fine. I'm gonna go get started on some of my homework. Love you, Rosie-posie."

"Love you, too, Beelzebub." I rolled my eyes, kissed her cheek, and wandered off to the desk in Edward's room. I'd talk with her more when I could be alone with her, but I wasn't worried. Puppy followed me not much longer after, and I whined when the lights went out.

"Mother humping frog-licking monkeys!" I swore. "I am NOT doing my homework by candlelight." I threw my pencil, wincing when it bounced off the desk and lodged into the wall.

Edward just started at it with wide eyes. "I literally can't even process how the fuck that just happened." I reached forward and hesitantly poked the pencil. "Is it dead?" It didn't budge. He started laughing. "Jesus, She-Hulk, remind me never to piss you off when you have a pencil in your hand."

I glared at him. "I didn't throw it that hard. I just sharpen them until they're lethal." He took a step back, his hands raised beseechingly, and I dove at him, tackling him onto the bed. We began a tickle war that lasted until I threated to pee on him if he made me wet myself.

"How about I grab you a flashlight and you get started on my journal. I want you to understand what's been going through my mind. And…" He hugged me tightly. "And maybe you'll understand how much I love you and want you." He murmured. When he made to get up, I yanked him closer to me.

"First things first." I demanded and kissed him until he was clutching at me desperately. I pulled away, hopped off the bed, closed his door, locked it (he fixed it, I'm a-friggin-mazed), and straddled his hips. "I'll read the journal after." I said.

"Oh, thank god." He groaned as I ground against him and leaned back down to kiss him. About an hour later, we were panting, naked, and quite content.

After a brief hunt for a flashlight, Edward held me while I read his journal, answering questions when I asked, and giggling over how silly his thoughts were half the time. Then we got to the important stuff and I tried not to cry while reading it. I don't cry… often. Damn it.

"So, the whole time, you barely noticed anything was wrong because you'd been working on a new album?" I asked incredulously.

"I hadn't planned on really doing it at all because of how much I want to teach… but after the wedding, I thought about how much I wanted to be with you and I was inspired more than I ever had been before. I didn't really think about what happens when I get into what Mom calls "Creation Mode." I usually hole up somewhere alone and just focus on the music. I was barely maintaining my classes and remembering to eat while writing and recording. It got to the point where all I cared about was going to bed so I could lay with you and when I woke up, I needed to write and record more. I didn't mean to basically abandon you the way I clearly did." He held me tightly. "I was so scared you wouldn't come back. Wouldn't let me explain."

I tossed the book away and held him tightly. "I've been waiting for an explanation, love. Will you… will you let me hear what you've made?" I asked softly.

He pulled back with a bright smile. "I would actually like to take you to the studio I've been going to. I'm cutting the CD tomorrow. I already have all the copyrights and legalities taken care of. I can release it on my own or… I could give that lawyer Lori Petty mentioned a call after I find a new label… I'd have to call Uncle Marcus and-"

"Puppy! Shut up! I can't wait to hear the music. For now, let's cuddle and nap… and then I might possibly molest you some more."

"I can live with that." He tried to speak without laughing and failed. "Good night, Bella. Love you."

"Good night. Love you, too… Squidward."

"Mmm-hmm… wait, Squid- oh, god damn it!" I lost my shit all over again.