December 21st 2010 1:30 pm

"Lizzy, are you sure you won't change your mind? Dad said you wouldn't have to work if you didn't want to. There's still time," Jane's voice was wrought with concern. Lizzy had the next few days off before she worked the holidays and the sisters decided on a girl's day. After a morning at the spa they'd gone to lunch and were now at a local art gallery near Jane and Charlie's place. Well Charlie's place but Jane was in the process of moving in.

"Jane, I love our family but I don't want to be anywhere near them right now. Dad just doesn't understand. Not only do I not want to work today, yesterday, or tomorrow. I don't want to work Christmas Eve, Christmas, or the next day. But I would rather be anywhere than with them. I feel terrible for doing this to Mom but I just can't help it. Someone needs to be there anyway – this is what I signed up for apparently."

"I suppose, but I do wish you'd reconsider…"

"I promised I would work Christmas and I won't take it back now. Besides, this way I can at least focus by myself without any distractions. Richard and Charlotte will be going to Georgia to be with his family and I can stay at the hospital and do some research without them or the asshole getting in my way."

"I do wish you'd stop calling him that, Lizzy. He is Charlie's best friend, not to mention your boss." Jane tried her best to reprimand her sister but a scolding from Jane was like a cat purring. Although it did have the desired effect.

"I can't help it Jane. From the moment I first met him he's always been an arrogant pain in my you know where. Remember his reaction to Richard and Charlotte? It's like he's physically incapable of being happy for anything and anyone else except in their misery. Remember Incident MickyD? Before I even met him I knew what he was like. He can go to H-E double hockey sticks. Thank God he's in Georgia with Richard visiting their family. What do you think of this one?" As they'd be perusing the gallery Lizzy had been shopping for her new place. Since Jane was moving in with Charles she'd decided to get her own place as well. It was closer to the hospital as her persistence to be late was starting to be an issue. She'd found an adorable apartment over looking the park and was now decorating it to her taste, not Jane's. As much as she loved her sister, they did not see eye to eye on decorating.

"It's very beautiful. Such a lovely landscape. It looks very old and yet it's dated just this summer. Are you thinking of it?" Jane asked.

"I'm more than thinking of it. It's mine. Or it will be. I don't even know if these are all for sale."

"I'll check for you. I told Charles I'd call him when we were almost done so he could make the reservation for later." Elizabeth smiled at her sister and continued to browse. The entire artist's collection was picturesque landscapes and wild countryside, with rolling hills and endless skies.

"What do you think of them?" A quiet voice interrupted Lizzy's reverie. She turned to find a young girl, well not much younger than herself staring back at her with very piercing blue eyes and flaming red hair.

"Beautiful," Lizzy admired. "I want to buy that one over there, but I'm not even sure if they're for sale. Do you work here?"

"I volunteer, it's the gallery for my school. Everyone who has an exhibition here has to volunteer when they can. I chose the first day I could as I'll be out of town for the holidays."

"Are these yours then?" Elizabeth was shocked. The girl nodded.

"They're wonderful." Elizabeth was still captivated by the idealistic and rustic images before her. She wanted all of them.

"Thanks. They're of my house, back home." The girl stared along, looking dreamily at them with Lizzy. Jane was just saying goodbye to Charles as she walked back towards her sister.

"Lizzy – the manager said that patrons may put in a request to the gallery to purchase the works. The artist will review the request and send back an answer and a price," said Jane.

"Hmm – that does make things more difficult than I would've liked. Would it be cheating if I put in a verbal request now? I couldn't bear to lose the opportunity. That is, if they are for sale." Lizzy turned to the girl.

"I think I may be able to part with a few. I'm on my way to my cousin's place now but if you want to give me a way to contact you I can let you know once I've thought it over."

"Of course, I'm Lizzy Gardiner. Here's my number." Elizabeth handed her a piece of paper.

"I'm Alaina – I'll text – I'll text…" The girl went faint and her hand moved to her chest, just as she collapsed Elizabeth was able to grasp her enough to stabilize her fall before she hit the ground.

"Jane!" Lizzy called to her sister and asked her to grab Alaina as well. "It's her heart! Call an ambulance – I'll see what I can do."

Lizzy lay her down on the sidewalk and used her coat as a barrier to the ground. They were out of distance of Hampshire Hospital but they'd likely take her to Leonard Memorial.

5:43 pm

"What is your relationship to her?" A nurse asked Lizzy in the waiting room of Leonard Hospital.

"I'm not related to her but I was speaking to her when she lost consciousness. She went into some sort of shock. Is she ok? Is she awake?" Lizzy had seen too many people in hospitals alone the past year. She would not leave this girl until someone showed up for her and she knew she would be all right.

"I can't let you see her if you aren't related. I'm sorry." The nurse turned to leave.

"If she is awake will you ask if I can see her? We're friends and I'm a doctor." Lizzy thought bending the truth wouldn't hurt too much. Hopefully. The look on Lizzy's face was desperate and the nurse took some pity on her.

"Come with me then."

"You're not going to ask her?" Lizzy was stunned.

"I've been Alaina's nurse for the past year since she's been in America. She's not had one person ask for her when she's been here. If you say you're a friend then I think it would be good for her to have some support." The nurse looked to her. Lizzy only nodded, hoping that would be enough. "Then I suggest you follow me before I see to other business?" She smiled warmly and Elizabeth did not want to lose the chance.

"Thank you." Lizzy followed her up to the third floor, not escaping notice that they were in a residential wing.

"Wait here." The nurse walked in, leaving Lizzy in the doorway. "Alaina, you have a visitor. Are you feeling up to it?"

"Please tell me you didn't call my brother. Alison, I'd never forgive you."

"No dear, I can't legally contact him. However, I'd say he deserves to know the truth."

"I can't tell him, especially not now. I will if it gets worse."

"Alright. Get some rest when you can." The nurse walked out and nodded for Lizzy to go in. She did, cautiously at first. Alaina looked up at Elizabeth as she walked in and smiled.

"Lizzy! You're here?" she questioned. Elizabeth nodded.

"Yes, I – I just wanted to make sure you were alright. There was no emergency contact so I wanted to make sure you weren't alone."

Alaina smiled warmly at her. "Alison, the nurse, she's my emergency contact for now."

"I see."

"Thank you Lizzy. She explained to me that your care surely saved my life. I don't know what I could ever do to repay you."

"Please don't think I'm here for that!" Elizabeth was mortified.

"Oh no! I just meant that – well. I don't know what I meant. But thank you. How did you know I what had happened?" she asked.

"I'm a surgeon, well I'm in training to be one. I guess I just recognized the signs," Lizzy was uncomfortable. She was a doctor, and yet she was rarely, if ever, the visitor. She could see the wires, she could hear the beeping. Alaina was hooked up to a Left Ventricular Assist Device, an LVAD. This was not a good sign.

"Well then – you'll know all about this," she said pointing to the backpack like straps around her shoulders. "I took it off the other day, just to see. I guess it proved its point." Alaina tried sound nonchalant but the bitterness and edge in her voice almost caused Elizabeth to lose whatever resolve she still was holding on to. Who would leave this girl alone in such a state?

"Is it so bad?" Lizzy could not help it, and the question was out of her mouth before she could take it back.

To her surprise and relief Alaina breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, with no trace of cynicism or offense.

"Some days it is, some days it isn't. But, it will be. Soon. I guess this little hiccup changes my holiday plans. I won't be able to travel tomorrow, and I am certainly not going to drop this bomb at Christmas to my family." The edge was back.

"Alaina, I don't know you and this is none of my business. But if you have family, and you were looking forward to spending time with them then aren't they the type of family who would want, and even, deserve to know?" Elizabeth knew this would certainly be the last straw and was waiting for the moment she screamed and told her to leave.

"You're right you don't know me. But, since this has come on – I don't know me either. But the people I do know are my family. As sure as this could kill me at any second, it would crush them. I don't even mean that in an ironic sensibility at all. I don't have regular parents, and let's just say – they are more than overbearing. I stay away because I love them. I know how much they love me – it's too much. I will tell them, soon. I have to. But when I do, my treatment will be done and it will be close the end. It will be chaos and then catharsis. I won't let them watch me die as I have to everyday. It will surprise them and devastate them; I've no doubt of that. But it will force them into seeing me as an adult for the first time. We'll have a short time together and I will leave them knowing there is nothing they could've done. They won't have to question their judgment because it will have been mine all along. I spent too much of my life being held under a microscope by them. It may seem juvenile but this – this is the only control I've ever had over my own life. I'm not ready to give it up just yet."

Elizabeth had tears in her eyes and just stared. How could anyone be this strong? Elizabeth's thoughts turned selfish as she thought of her own constant struggles. How could she mope, bitch, moan and complain everyday about her father, about William Darcy, about being an intern? She made the choice. This girl, Alaina, made no choice to become ill and yet here she was, making the hardest decisions one can face, and still smiling.

"Do you have to stay here? Like, can you leave?," Lizzy blurted.

"Alison is going to sign me out tomorrow I believe." Alaina was confused.

"Come spend the holidays with my family. My parents live on Long Island and my mother is addicted to children. She had six! You can have a family at the holidays and not think twice about telling them because you don't ever have to."

"Please, Lizzy. I know your confusion. You save me at the art gallery and find out I'm alone and dying in the hospital and then can't get your conscious past leaving me. I assure you – I have no worries." Alaina was very serious. Lizzy moved and touched her arm, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Alaina, please. I am a doctor and while I do tend to be more emotional outwardly that is professional at times. This is not one of those times. Maybe the holidays are affecting me a little, but if it would mean that you got to eat delicious food, my mother is a gourmet cook by the way, instead of hospital food then surely that's enough reason to come? Selfishly it means I get to take off work for a few days – one of the perks of working for my dad." Lizzy felt the same way she did about Alaina as she did when she first met Charlotte. There may be some sarcasm, bitterness, and cynicism. But beneath those was someone who understood her and Lizzy knew, for the time being, they were going to be good friends. "Will you come? I can pick you up tomorrow when you're discharged."

Alaina saw the same in Lizzy and could not refuse. She may be called shy at times, but that was only with people who put her on edge. Alaina nodded and said that she would. Lizzy grabbed the clipboard that held her medical charts from the end of the bed.

"Yay! Well if you're coming I guess I should know your last name!" Her eyes read the clipboard. "I will see you tomorrow – oh! Your middle name is Alaina. So it's Georgiana Alaina – Darcy. D-d-arcy? Is that your last name?" Elizabeth's stomach burned, her face burned, her neck, hands, back, her everywhere burned. Alaina did not sense Lizzy's fear and laughed.

"Yes, my first name is a bit of a mouthful. My brother and cousin refuse to call me Alaina, Will calls me Georgie and so does Richard, though he always has some other variation Gee, G-Unit, Jorge, Gerbil, who knows. That's why I go by Alaina, thanks to him. Anyway, now you know my name. See you tomorrow, Lizzy!" Alaina was happy as can be. She had found very few friends in New York and those she had turned out to be superficial and insecure. Lizzy seemed just the opposite.

"I'll text you when I'm on my way, we can stop at your place and you can pack then head out!" Elizabeth's face was as poised as she could be as she left the room. She made it to the hall and almost ran to the bathroom. Tears were coming left and right these days. She was William Darcy's sister and Richard's cousin. She didn't like Darcy in the slightest but he knew from Richard how his sister was the center of his universe. God – she was the center of Richard's too. Lizzy had even unknowingly borrowed her clothes on occasion at Richard's place. No photos of her though – this couldn't be true. Alaina was dying and she was the light of her best friend's life.

"Shit."

Thank you guys for sticking by and reading this even in the long absences. I'm sorry if this is different – just getting back in the swing of non-academic writing. Thank you so much for your reviews and kind messages.