Chapter 11: Boom, Gone

P O V: Matt Casey

"I promise to love you forever, in sickness, in health. Till death due us part."

Boom, Gone just one more promise Gabby made to me. Now just dust particles in the wind. I can still see her smile as we stood in front of the justice of the peace. Her eyes shone so brightly in joy, laughter and anticipation. Her small hand wrapped around Louie's. The scent of vanilla makes me nausea now. She always wore vanilla body lotion. The day we were married, I remember tasting it on her skin as I kissed her neck.

"We have so many dreams Gabby. I can't wait to turn them into plans and to make these plans into reality. One day we can proudly tell Louie and our grandkids how we did it. We aren't rich but we made goals we worked hard and we achieved it all.

"We have already made so many beautiful memories Matt."

"I love you Matt."

"I love you to Gabby."

Lies love means being open to change to commit to each other. Love means staying, fighting when the rough gets impossible. Love is not picking up and running to another country. Even to Puerto Rico which is technically in the USA.

"You'll make a great dad Matt." "Gabby's warm kisses trailed down my neck over my chest. We lay under the stars in our rented Cabana in Malawi, Africa on our honeymoon.

"You think Gabby?" "No baby I know." "Feels like a dream Gabby."

"Right now it is honey? Someday though our dream will be our reality this love we have is irreplaceable. No one can stop us from achieving our dreams." "Time can't be bought Matt, we just have to be patient. God will grant us our allotted expectancy in his time, his will. His ways are his, we are his sheep, he is our Shepard. He brought us together."

Now we are apart so I am left to question this God she believes in so patiently in. Who is he? Why is he all so knowingly. So powerful? Why does he get all the say?

"Your love brought down all the walls Matt." "Before I met you I was closed off. You brought me to heaven, thank you for letting heaven in. For being my Gates and keeping the bad out. I'll love you forever."

Forever we must have different definitions about that word. "Matt." Sylvie's voice startles me from my memories. I open my eyes shaking out my sleep to see her waking up. "Yeah?" "I need to use the bathroom." "When can I get out of here?" "I'll page Dr. Halstead, let me help you to the bathroom." "Thanks Matt."

"Thanks for the record Gabby was a fool to let you go." Smiling I squeeze her tighter. "So was Kyle." "Thanks Matt at least we're free to find the people were suppose to be with , whoever they are." I briefly wonder about that. Who am I meant to be with? Why do I feel such a pull towards Sylvie? She has that look on her face again like she wants to kiss me but she's scared. Leaning down I breathe her in my mouth water's as I smell her strawberry conditioner. "You smell Delicious." Her checks color as she bites her lip. "God your adorable." "Matt." I back up quickly knowing I crossed a line. "Let's get you to the bathroom."

She touches my arm hesitantly wanting to say something. I know she's hurt, confused and angry. I won't be the one who uses her while she is rebounding. Helping her to the bathroom I make sure she's okay before closing the door and rushing off.

I know staying my distance is the policatly correct move, so why does it feel like acid reflect?

Love hurts plain and simple. Wait Love? Did I just think those words. I love Sylvie Brett? How, when, why? What can I possibly do about it? One answer hits me hard.

Nothing

I'm her Captain. Her best friend's ex husband. I'm off limits. I should feel relieved. I don't.