#11 Fight Back

I could feel the stinging pain where the knife dug into my throat. A nerve twitched in Griffin's forehead and he looked livid as he threw his flamethrower aside. I was horrified as I struggled in Jules's grasp.

"What the hell are you doing?" I cried.

His teeth were bared, but he was looking at Jules and not me.

"What does it look like, sweetheart?"

For someone who didn't know how to feel, he was certainly doing a good job of caring. If he didn't care, why would he have surrendered? I watched as he stepped forward, hands raised and then it hit me like a punch. Griffin would actually go through with this…for me. He must really be insane.

I couldn't let that happen – so I used one of the tricks that Griffin had taught me, twisting Jules's wrist forward so that he yelped in pain and dropped the knife. I pulled out of his grasp immediately, forcing his arm up and behind his back. Then I leaned down to pick up the knife and pressed it to his exposed throat.

"How does that feel, Jules?" I hissed at him. I felt…well, powerful. For once, I was in control of the situation and I knew I shouldn't feel good about this – but Jules had tried to hurt me, hurt Griffin. I pressed the knife a little closer, relishing it for a moment. "Does it feel good knowing you're helpless?"

I felt a restraining hand on my shoulder and whirled around to see Griffin. He was scowling and I couldn't help but feel annoyed.

"That's enough. If you're going to kill him, get it over with."

I ground my teeth. "You're not the boss of me, Griffin."

Griffin didn't contradict me. Instead, he held out his hand for the knife. I knew what he meant and suddenly, I was afraid. He was going to kill Jules. I had threatened the Paladin, but I knew him far too well to be able to murder him. I couldn't just stand by and watch Griffin kill him, either.

I withdrew the knife from Jules's throat and childishly hid it behind my back, shaking my head as I backed away from Griffin.

"I can't let you kill him."

Griffin's eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth.

"Don't be stupid, Bec. Last time you saved his sorry ass, he used you. Give me the knife, because you can't kill him."

I knew I was behaving stupidly, but there was no way I was letting Griffin get his hands on the knife. Desperate, I tossed it across the room – and both young men lunged for it. As they did, Lance staggered into the room with blood all over him…which I guessed wasn't his, because although his eyes were wild, he didn't appear to be injured. He noticed the tussle over the knife and raised a gun to point it at Jules's head.

"NO!"

Lance looked across at me, shocked. Jules saw his chance and lunged at the Jumper – but Lance saw this coming and immediately Jumped. Roaring in anger, he turned his enraged gaze upon me. His eyes glittered almost manically as he stalked towards me. Griffin Jumped right next to me, causing me to gasp loudly. He smirked at my shock.

"Don't get too excited, love."

He wrapped an arm around my waist and Jumped. I felt the familiar sensation of the Jump and I wasn't surprised when we arrived in Griffin's lair. I quickly snapped to and closed the Jump Scar behind us, only to turn and find myself looking at a very angry Griffin.

"What was all of that about, huh?" he demanded.

I folded my arms and tilted my chin up. "All of what?"

Griffin clenched his hands into fists. "You closed the Jump Scar so we wouldn't come through! Then you defended Jules from us. Are you mad, girl? With your dad dead, he's second-in-command of the whole Paladin chain."

He had to be joking. Jules wasn't even nineteen yet. I raised my eyebrows, but Griffin was deadly serious. He was also very annoyed that he hadn't managed to kill Jules.

"I…I've known him for years, Griffin. I just couldn't watch you kill him."

Griffin shrugged. "Fine. I'll just do it when you're not around then. But shit, next time try not to make it so that I have to save your neck."

I found that a bit hypocritical of him. The only reason Jules had managed to take me hostage was because I'd been trying to pull the two of them apart. I glanced around for support, before realizing that Lance wasn't there. Of course – why would he come back to the lair? He was smart enough to know that we'd both be mad at him.

That was when I remembered Jules's taunting accusations, the slight embarrassment when Griffin had put his arm around my waist to Jump us back. I was angry at myself as I realized that Jules had been right about everything. How was I supposed to tell Griffin this, just straight out? It seemed like the best idea. I waited until he'd calmed down enough to play Gears of War before I stepped in front of him.

"Bloody hell, you're in the way…"

"Griffin, we need to talk." My voice was serious but he seemed not to notice.

"I don't talk, sweetheart – I fight Paladins, I eat, I sleep, I game."

A wave of irritation swept over me. I wasn't a prisoner anymore and so I wasn't afraid of him. I stomped over and pulled the controller out. Griffin slammed it down and jumped to his feet, looking irate. I wasn't sure that this was the sort of mood I wanted to speak to him in. I swallowed.

"Can you please calm down?" I asked him, thinking maybe this had been a bad idea, "I just wanted to ask about…about how you feel about me staying here. You want me to leave?"

He looked very uncomfortable, fidgeting and averting his eyes.

"I didn't say that, Bec. I mean…shit, it's up to you. Do you want to stay?"

I tried to think of how best to phrase what I needed to say. I started to pace and I was aware that Griffin was watching me.

"If I stay," I spoke deliberately slowly, "There'd have to be a good reason for it. I wouldn't stay just to protect you, Griffin. After all, what's in it for me if I do?"

Griffin didn't answer. For once, he finally had nothing to say. I walked over to him, biting my lip as I did so. Would I regret this?

"What would you say if I said I loved you, Griffin?" My voice was little more than a whisper.

He was on his feet in seconds, his eyes on fire. I took a step back, but I realized that the look in his eyes wasn't angry…it was almost fearful. He was afraid of his own emotions, maybe of my emotions. Griffin grabbed me by the arms, pushing me back until my I hit the wall. For a moment, I wasn't sure if he was going to kiss me or hit me.

"Don't say you love me," he snarled at me, "I don't believe it."

He released me and I let out a shaky breath, rubbing my arms where his fingers had dug into them. Griffin was raking his hands through his hair, looking confused. The whole situation was awkward. I was left wishing I hadn't said anything.

"So you want me to lie?" I asked incredulously, "Griffin, I wish you'd stop pushing me away, pushing everyone away! Sooner or later, you're going to have to open up to someone."

He whirled around, eyes blazing. "What the fuck would you know about me? How could you possibly love me after all the shit I put you through? What are you, some kind of closet masochist?"

He might as well have slapped me. His words stung, but I was determined that he wouldn't see that he'd hurt me. That was what he was trying to do. I drew myself up to full height and crossed the room.

"You came back for me. No matter how much you try and act like you don't care about anyone else, you saved me when you didn't have to."

He was silent again. I noticed he tended to do this a lot when he knew that I was right.

"It's because you're scared of losing people," I continued, my voice quiet, "Every time you get close to someone, they die. But I'm different, Griffin. I'm not going to die…and I don't need you to protect me."

Griffin's lip curled into a derisive sneer. "What makes you think I love you?"

I flinched. "You don't mean that. You wouldn't have given yourself up otherwise."

Griffin snickered. "Oh, really? You think I did it for you? Sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart."

I knew his tactics. I could see what he was doing. He was trying to put on the whole bad boy act, pretending like he was a lone wolf and cared about no one but himself. Except it wasn't working, because I had him all figured out. I ground my teeth as I tried to figure out what to do next…and then my hand lashed forward and I slapped him across the face.

"You can lie all you like, but I can see the truth. You can't push me away like the others."

"I don't love you," snapped Griffin…except by then, we both knew it was a lie.

Jules's POV

I couldn't help but fume to myself as I stalked around HQ and saw the damage for myself. Those bloody Jumpers had killed three of us and just about ruined parts of the base. I seethed as I saw the roof just about caving in the armory. Well done, Griffin O'Connor. You win – for now.

The most annoying part of all was the dilemma that was Bec Carlyle. The little bitch had caused so much trouble…and then she'd gone and complicated matters by saving my life. I vaguely wondered why she'd done it. I'd captured her, nearly tortured her, threatened her with death…and she responded with saving me from Griffin? What the fuck?

"Get this place cleaned up," I snapped.

We wouldn't be able to find Griffin if he was with Bec. Lance, however – he was a different matter. The others would know by now that he'd betrayed them and he wouldn't want to hang around. If we could track Lance, we could torture Griffin's location out of him…and then kill him.

So yeah, okay. Maybe I was just a little jealous that Bec wanted Griffin – and after today, it had become blaringly obvious that Griffin wanted her, too. She was so different from the girl I'd known in high school. Bec had become rebellious and independent. She didn't need Griffin…he needed her.

"We need to find Lance Dyson," I told the others, banging a fist down on the table, "He's number twelve on our Most Wanted list. He's going to be a tough nut to crack so we're going to need a little extra help."

The others were all muttering. I smirked. The person in question was an English Paladin by the name of Roman Larson. I remembered that he was some kind of psychopath – he was known for his sadistic methods and the ability to extract information from any source. I'd heard rumours he'd cut a Jumper's eyes out before, but I thought that was probably not true.

"We're bringing in Larson."

I could see the looks of disgust and fear on the Paladins' faces. Normally people tended to leave Larson in the English sector, because he also had a nasty habit of turning on those who objected to his methods. Several Paladins had also been killed by Larson.

I held up my hands to placate the others.

"Look, I don't want this any more than you do…but right now, it's the only choice we've got. Those Jumpers ruined our base and took the Shade with them. Don't you want revenge?"

The cheers and applause were answer enough.