The curtain blew in the wind. It was hot for February so Jude had opened a window before him and Connor went to be, to cool themselves in the night. Jude laid faced down, his right arm and leg hanging out of the bed. Connor laid faced up upon the covers his left arm stretched across Jude's back. Jude preferred to sleep in pyjamas whilst Connor preferred, the fewer the cloths the better and slept in a pair of plaid boxers. Jude mumbled in his sleep, which usually Connor slept through, but tonight it kept him awake. The heat didn't help either with Connor effectively lying in puddle of his own sweat. He glanced at Jude, watching his lips chatter away, having a conversation with himself "Not now maybe later…No get the other one… In love you to Connor". Connor chuckled and reached to his bedside unit reaching for his IPOD. 'Maybe some music' he thought. He placed the buds in his ears and scrolled through his playlist finding a perfect song to send him to sleep. "Rock, Blue or Jazz… Jazz I think" Connor shut his eyes a drifted off to the sound of scat and trumpets in his eyes completely drowning out Jude's mumbling.
Connor woke feeling strange. He turned to face Jude and noticed the bed was empty. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. "The bedroom s different" he thought to himself. He pulled the covers off and sat on the edge of his bed. His naked feet creaked the hardwood floor a tiny glare of sunlight shown through the curtains. He left the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen in search for Jude. As he stumbled down the corridor he paced a photo hanging on the wall. He stopped taking a double take. The photo was of Jude and Connor but with an addition of two kids. He reached for the photo with his left hand not noticing the photo before and happened to glance ring on his finger. This whole encounter seemed weird for Connor who continued into the kitchen. He entered the kitchen and noticed a note on the counter , he picked it up and began to skim… left early…be home early….kids at school…..breakfast in oven….love you. He propped the note back on the counter and looked in the oven. Inside was a small plate with two pieces of burnt toast. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. He noticed his reflection in the living room mirror. His appearance was much different then he remembered. A rounder, aged figure stared back at him. He noticed a newspaper on the sofa and slumped on the couch, he coughed and stroked his stubble. He noticed the job section was opened with a tonne of marked job applications, all in the same area of journalism. He sat and glanced at a series of awards in Jude's name littering the living room. The awards were all for his service to the foster care system. The phone rang and Connor struggled to pull himself from the sofa. "Hello" Connor spoke.
"Hey Con it's your cousin"
"Hey how are you doing?"
"I'm good, just sitting here looking for jobs" He replied rubbing his stomach
"Yeah I heard about that…I'm sorry that you lost your job, from what I heard your meltdown on TV was one of the most choking things ever"
"Things happen" he replied staring at Jude's awards.
"Look if I had something I…"
"It's ok I'll find something, well best get going I'll see you soon". Connor threw the phone on the sofa and looked back at the paper.
It was about 11:22 when Jude came home. Connor only knew this because he had stared at the clock for the past 4 hours. He stood in the doorway when he heard the keys in the door. "Hey what are you doing up I figured you would be in bed" Jude spoke whilst placing his briefcase down and hanging his coat up on the hook.
"You said you would be in early" Connor replied with a stern voice
"I got held up at the office…what's wrong?"
"That's all you seem to do, is be at the 'office', when I wake up your at the office, when I go to bed your still at the office, I never get to see you anymore, and the kids never see you either".
"Look I'm sorry if I'm out working unlike some people" Jude responded loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt top button
"That's LOW! Jude… I'm looking for work but we can't all be Mr big shot social worker like YOU! Connor yelled whilst picking Jude's awards off the wall.
"Look I'm good at what I do ok, it's not my fault I had breakdown on live TV and EMBARESSED! Myself in front of millions of people, do you have any idea what it did to me?"
"Of course, because it's all about you isn't it. Do you know we haven't done anything as a family in over five years ever since you started your job?"
"I'm sorry for providing for this fam…"
"Were not a FAMILY!" Connor snapped "We don't do anything together, were drifting apart"
"I'm sorry if you feel that way" Jude spoke noticing the distress on Connors face "I think we should have some space and come back to this when you're more rational"
"Don't spin this on ME!" Connor snapped "Look at what I used to be" he said reaching for a photo of a younger skinner Connor. "The minute you started getting involved more and more in your cases is when we drifted, that's what caused my breakdown, YOU!, your job… now look at me". Jude looked up and down Connor, and headed towards the door. "Jude" Connor called, but it was to no avail and he slammed the door shut behind him.
The door shut and suddenly Connor felt water crashing on his body. He looked around confused too where he was. He found himself standing in a cemetery, the weather dark and dismal. He noticed figures in the background, barley making them out. He made his way over towards them, the rain hitting his body, his clothes becoming wetter with every step. He approached the headstone the figures had gathered around. He began to recognise the figures Stef, Lena, Callie, Marianna, Brandon and Jesus. He ran towards the headstone panting heavier and heavier. He stumbled on the wet muddy grass and dropped to his knees in front of the headstone. He looked at the name 'Jude Adams-Foster Stevens' "NO!" Connor cried "What…What happened?" he said gazing at the family.
"You" Callie said "You did this"
"What? No. How?" He cried glancing back at the stone, running his hand over the engraved name.
"That night you argued, he went for a walk, he crossed the street, distraught in your argument he never heard the car approaching" Lena said as they circled Connor all pointing at him.
"No…I…I…I"
"You killed him Connor, you're the reason were here" Stef spoke. Connor placed his head upon the stone staring at the floor. Suddenly he heard Jude's voice calling he turned and was back in his bedroom with Jude sleeping by his side. "Hey are you ok?" Jude asked "You started screaming and tossing"
"I heard a really bad dream" Connor replied staring at the ceiling.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jude spoke taking hold of Connors hands
"Promise me we won't ever drift apart"
"What? Jude asked being confused
"Promise me…. It's just in the dream you were this career driving person and I was a slob, you spent all day working and we never saw each other... we had a fight and then I"
"What?" Jude enquired positioning his body closer to Connor, placing his hand upon Connors jaw and turning his head so he was facing him staring in to his brown eyes.
"I was at your grave, your family were there and I was to blame for your death" Jude noticed the tears stroll down Connors cheek. Jude wiped the tears from Connor eyes, caressed his face and moved his lips towards Connors interlocking them reassuring him he had nothing to worry about and healing his broken friend spirit "You could be the ugliest laziest person I know and I would still love you" Jude spoke
"Thanks" Connor replied smiling at his boyfriend. The pair left the bed and got dressed. The made their way to the kitchen. "So in this dream, where we anything?" Jude asked
"Well we did have two kids, you worked in the Foster care system and had all these awards and we were married" Connor said with a coy smile
"That's some dream." Jude uttered "Hopefully it will be true someday"
"Nah I don't think so"
"Why not?" Jude asked
"You don't win anything" Connor chuckled. Jude threw the paper at Connor who luckily moved out the way. Jude made his way to Connor and placed his arms around his waist planting a kiss upon his cheek.
"I love you" Jude whispered in Connors ear
"I know…you want some breakfast?" Connor asked prying Jude's hands away
"No I'm going to get something on the way" Jude responded heading for the door
"I'll see you tonight yeah…nice and early"? Connor asked
"I work in the mail room…I'll be home before you" Jude laughed heading towards the door. Connor headed towards the window and opened it feeling the heat upon his face. He looked down and called out to Jude who looked back up and waved before his headphones in. Connor heard the sound of a car approaching faster and faster and looked down the street. He saw the car barrelling towards Jude. He yelled "JUDE!" but it was too late the car struck Jude sending him hurtling down the road. Connor rushed down the stairs in his bare feet, pushing past the people surrounding Jude. He dropped to his knees picking up Jude's head in one arm whilst clutching his chest with the other. Tears streamed down his face, he tried to wipe the blood from Jude's mouth but couldn't. He cradled his boyfriend in is arms tightening his grip around Jude's body and pulling him close to his.
"SOMEONE CALL FOR HELP NOW!" Connor screamed "Don't die Jude, please don't die" The tears dropping onto Jude's clothes "Please don't die" his bottom lip quivering as he knew the worst.