Another chapter for you all. As usual nothing belongs to me except for any mistakes. Enjoy :)

Chapter 11

It was Thanksgiving and Miranda was busying herself going in between the kitchen and the living room. Andrea had only wanted a quiet day with herself and the twins. They had opted to make dinner all together and so it had turned into an unexpected day of both laughter and messiness as they had all pitched in. With the last of the preparations done Miranda had ended up shooing her girls away so she could try and make her kitchen resemble the room it was meant to be.

Now as the Turkey finished cooking in the oven the woman found herself lurking in the doorway, a hand across her heart as she observed the scene in front of her. Andrea was asleep on the sofa, the effects of the second round of chemo more evident than before. In the last few weeks the woman she loved had become withdrawn, quiet and oh so still. It was the complete opposite of what Miranda could remember. Her Andrea had always been so lively, exuberant almost. She would become excited about the littlest of things and find joy in in whatever she could. She had become a shell of her former self since this had all begun, so to see her happy and having fun with the girls as they had attempted to prepare dinner had left her feeling the happiest she had been for weeks. Today had simply been wonderful.

Andrea currently had her head resting on a pillow which had been propped up against Caroline's lap. Cassidy was sitting in front of them on the floor, one hand however was entwined with that of her stepmothers. Ever so often she would turn her head up slightly to check Andy was still resting peacefully. Miranda was unwilling to enter the room and break up the peace that had settled over its occupants. Instead she retreated back to the kitchen, a lone tear making its way down her face.

Miranda stood on the rooftop staring out at the city she called home. She had always thought New York was most beautiful at night, when darkness fell upon the hectic avenues and a rainbow of billboards and neon lights filled the view. However there was just something more magical about it in the winter and especially during the holiday season. The snow was slightly falling and seasonal lights twinkled in the shadows up and down the streets. She let out a breath and watched as the whispers of white dissipated into the air. It was a reminder that she was human, vulnerable, and capable of great love and fear.

She didn't have moments like this often. These rare and precious moments in between daily living. Quiet moments where she was left to her thoughts. At Runway there was always another a problem to fix or her input was needed on something. At home the twins were often yelling and stomping around like teenagers do. Now her time was taking up with making sure her wife was doing ok. Andrea...In recent years these moments were spent counting the blessings her life had brought her. There wasn't a day that passed when she wasn't grateful the two of them had found their way back to one another. Now she was plagued with thoughts of it all being taken away from her. She wished she had spent more time with Andrea doing so many of the things she had taken for granted.

She felt her eyes water, and she gritted her teeth as she cast her head up heavenwards. The possibility of Andrea's death weighed heavily on her mind. The thought was almost inconceivable and while she would usually fight her way through the impossible, this was one battle Miranda was unable to wield her power upon and come out victorious. It was Andrea's, and Andrea's alone and so far all indications suggested she was on the losing side.

As the minutes continued to pass Miranda remained staring out at the city. Her serenity was only disturbed when she heard the crunching of footsteps crossing over the freshly fallen snow on the rooftop.

"Are you sure you should be up here?" Miranda really didn't want her wife over doing it, especially given her vulnerability and the frigid cold temperature outside. Her cheeks were already pink from the chill but yet all Miranda could think about was how adorable the young woman looked in her blue knitted beanie hat surrounded by a thick quilt she had been given years ago by her beloved grandmother.

"I'm fine. Anyway I missed you when I woke up."

Andy moved to wrap her arms around the Editor's neck while Miranda protectively wrapped hers around the younger woman's waist. With their bodies perfectly moulded together, the two of them gently swayed to a song only they could hear. Andy moved to nestle her face into the crook of Miranda's neck.She breathed in the familiar scent that was her wife before letting out a contented sigh. It was the one place where she always felt safe and she didn't want to think of a time when she would never have that. Yet when faced with the fragility of her own mortality, she could only think about the things she would leave behind when her time upon this earth was up.

Almost sensing her melanchony, Mirand tentatively reached up with one hand, sliding her fingers along Andrea's cheek before connecting their lips in a fiery and intense passionate kiss. After a few minutes the Editor pulled away slowly, blinking her eyes open to look at the beauty before her. Andy had her eyes squeezed shut and tears were trailing slowly down her face. Miranda reached out to wipe them away from her cheeks with her thumb, her faced etched with nothing but concern.

"Darling, tell me what's wrong."

Andrea didn't know where to begin. She had had nothing but time to think about everything since the two of them had left Dr Gulden's office with the news they had feared. As the days past and she became weaker and weaker, she desperately tried to fight a battle she was coming to accept she had no hope in winning. Now how could she tell the woman she loved that she had all but accepted her fate. That the tide was against her and no matter how hard she fought she was ready to let things run there course to whatever end. If only she had more time...

"Miranda," Andrea whispered, stirring the air between them.

"In case something happens to me, I want you to know that I—"

Eyes flew wide open and Miranda's hand shot out to cover Andrea's mouth, stopping her from completing a sentence she could not bear to hear.

"Don't! I don't want you to tell me goodbye."

"Miranda, please..."

Andrea was cut off as the Editor leaned down and kiss her.

"Please don't say it." Miranda had brought her hands up to rest on either side of her wife's face.

"Sweetheart I need to say it and think you need to hear it." Andrea's hand rested up against the Editor's chest as she looked into tear filled eyes. Her wife had always been the strong one. Before her illness she could count the number of times she had witnessed Miranda crying on her hands. Now it seemed like a day didn't pass by when they weren't both shedding tears.

"Miranda I'm dying...

"No." The older woman said with a shake of her head.

"No?

" You don't get to leave me again, you can't. No one else makes me feel the way you do. You make me whole. I don't want to go back to living without you. Not again. I won't."

Andrea took a deep breath as she tried to figure out what to say. The evidence of her illness was there for them both to see. Her symptoms were only getting worse and no matter hard she tried to deny it, she was only moving closer to the end. As far as she could see It would take all but a miracle now to save her life. Yet here Miranda was still fighting for them both. How could she think of just giving up..

"Miranda please, I will do everything in my power to stay here by your side for a very long time but if the worse were to happen then I don't want you to mourn me forever. Move on with your life, find happiness and watch the girls grow older."

"Andrea we are not talking about this."

"Yes we are my love because these things need to be said. And I'm telling you if anything happens to me and I fall into a coma I don't want to be kept alive if there's no hope. You and the girls need to move on without me."

"I can't..."

"You have to Miranda, you've got so much left to give."

Miranda could no longer hold back the sobs. She cried in Andrea's arms as the younger woman could only whisper that it would be alright. Yet she was breaking inside herself at seeing her fearless Editor like this and knowing there was nothing she could do to fix it. Her life was now in the hands of science and whatever fate had in store for her.