When she woke up in the morning, she half expected to see Steelhoof lying before her, staring into her eyes like he did every morning. He was not. A wave of emotion hit her again, and she lay back down in her bed with a sob. She wasn't going anywhere for the next few days, and she didn't want to.

As Applejack went in for another buck on a particularly strong apple tree, she realised her heart really wasn't in it. Rainbow dash hadn't left her home in three days, and Applejack missed her terribly. She sniffed in sadness at her friends predicament, and cast her mind back to the pony who had started it all. She wished she could understand the feelings that had led him to such an act. Friendship was strong, but few knew what love could do. So how could he do this to her? She thought, angry at the big pony for hurting Rainbow dash.

The arrival of Pinkie pie, bounding up the path, broke her chain of thought and she turned to speak to her.

"Well, howdy, sugarcube. What brings you down to the farm?"

"Well, noone's seen Dashie in like three days! So, I was wondering, should we go to her house and get her to come out and throw her a party?"

"Ah don't think so, Pinkie. Ah think that Rainbow just wants some time to herself, you know?"

"Yeah, but that's booooring!"

"She's just going through a rough patch at the minute. In a few days, if she's still not coming out, we'll pay her a visit. Ok?"

"Okey dokey lokey!" The bright pink pony bounced away back down the path, humming a merry tune. Applejack shook her head and sighed. "I don't know how the hay she does it." She said to herself, and returned to the applebuck.

Rainbow dash was standing on her hind legs, leaning over the sink. She was dishevelled, and there were bags under her bloodshot eyes. She had not been sleeping for days, and she had been crying heavily. Still the blame echoed in her mind, and she sobbed heavily. All your fault, all your fault. She held the blade in her teeth. You're supposed to be the element of loyalty, for Celestia's sake. She sobbed again, thinking of her necklace and the events in which she had used it. But you couldn't even be there for the pony you love, when he needed it most. You let him down, and now he's gone. You don't deserve the element of loyalty, you didn't even deserve Steelhoof. You're a disgrace Rainbow dash. The voice said. You're a disgrace to your friends, to Cloudsdale, to all of ponykind. You killed him, Rainbow dash. It's all your fault, all your fault. Thick drops of crimson blood mixed with tears in the basin. All your fault, all your fault.

Fluttershy drifted up to the cloud castle, nominated as the one to talk with Rainbow as she had a way with ponies, not to mention the ability to fly.

No-one had seen Rainbow in over a week.

Everyone worried about her after the event with Steelhoof, but Fluttershy worried most of all. They were old friends, and she didn't like to see her upset. Expecting the worst, she knocked on the big front door. No answer. Fluttershy knew she was in, so tried the door. To her surprise, it was unlocked. She walked slowly inside, and was greeted with a horrible sight. All of the furniture was knocked over, and her possessions were strewn all over the castle. She picked her way through the rubble, and into the bedroom.

She immediately wished she hadn't.

Rainbow dash lay across her bed, her pelt dirtied and off colour. Her mane was ruined, strands of hair all over the place. As Fluttershy gasped with horror, Rainbow dash turned to face her. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, like she had been crying for days. A lock of her mane was plastered to her face.

"Rainbow…" Fluttershy said softly.

"…Hey 'Shy." Rainbow dash said weakly.

"Are you okay, Dash?"

"Yeah, I'm… no. I'm not okay. I'm awful, 'Shy! I miss him and he's gone, and it's all my fau-au-ault!"

She threw herself at her friend, and cried into her pink mane. She sobbed deep, wracking sobs, and Fluttershy could only hold her and make soothing noises. Eventually She dried herself out, and broke the embrace. Ignoring the wet mark on her mane, Fluttershy set Rainbow down and sat before her.

"Now, don't be so silly. It's not your fault, its no-one's fault. What he did was his own choice. It was a moment of insanity, and now it's in the past. We have to move on."

"But I don't want to! I love him! He was all I ever wanted!"

"Shh, shh. Its ok. I understand what you're going through. But don't you think that he wants you to be happy? If I understand correctly, that's why he did it, right?

"I… I guess so." She said, sniffing and wiping her eyes."

"Now, you're going to get yourself cleaned up, and you're going to come down to Ponyville with me." Then her tone softened. "to keep your mind off things, I mean."

"Ok."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. You're right, I need a distraction."

She walked past Fluttershy, and into the bathroom. It was only then that she saw the faint bloodstains on the sink edge, and the scars on her wrists. She gasped.

"Rainbow! You've been-"

Rainbow dash immediately swivelled her forelegs, putting them out of sight.

"I swear, I'm over that."

"Oh, Rainbow," She walked over, putting her arm over her shoulders. "It didn't have to come to that."

"I know, it's just… it's a release. I wanted to feel something!"

"Shh, shh, it's ok, don't cry again. I understand." Using her free hoof, she washed her friend's mane and tail, and splashed some water on her face, to liven her up a bit.

"Ok." Rainbow sniffed again. "Let's go, before I never leave." Fluttershy smiled, and Rainbow returned the favour, although with less vigour.

And there we are! I decided to separate the chapter in two, as they were too different for one chapter. Please please please review or pm me with any and all questions and criticisms you might have about any of my work, as every word you write helps.