Title: Of Forever
Chapter: Part I
Author: Sleepybard
Rating: Overall NC-17
Pairing: Edward/Jacob, Edward/Bella
Warnings: Mild violence, language, sexual content, AU after New Moon, OOC (of course), imprint!fic (some people might be getting sick of these), drama
Author's Note: This is another imprint!fic, yes, but I tried to keep them as in character as possible (lol, Smeyer doesn't even do that). Please note, I'm taking a lot of creative license with these characters.
Thanks to the awesome bovus_stercus for the beta-ing

Summary: A feeling of deep longing, of an ache so profound in its nature, crippled me as I fell to the ground. I had no idea what happened or how long it lasted, but it seemed to never end, the feeling of unrequited affection.

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing her characters for some creative, fan-based writing. No opinions or original characters or storyline in the following story in any way reflect her opinions.

Visit my profile for my Livejournal page, where all the art is available for this fic, as well as the NC-17 version of the fic.

Please Read: I've had this sitting on my laptop for some time now, and I thought it was high time I posted it. Many of you are probably starving for Edward right about now, so here it is.

Interlude

I played with random piano chords, my fingers swimming over each ivory key as I waited for some new melody to strike me. I had plenty of inspiration now, but the melody never seemed to fit the feeling. Or perhaps I had just simply forgotten how to put feeling to the music.

Just as I struck a C minor chord, I heard the front door slam open. I'd been waiting for Bella to enter since I heard her footsteps and labored breathing outside the house.

"Edward!" Bella knew of my enhanced hearing, but it was amusing how she seemed to forget about it as she cried out my name. Usually the sound of her voice was soothing for me, but at that moment it was frantic with worry.

I didn't bother to cover the piano as I ran to her. She gasped as I was suddenly standing in front of her, her heart beating painfully loudly.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Jacob, I—"

"You went to the reservation?" I didn't mean to shout at her, but since the situation arose weeks ago, I'd become more weary than ever about Bella stepping foot on Quileute land, fearing she'd find out what happened between Black and me. She seemed taken aback by the anger in my voice, but went on to explain.

"No…no I saw him in the grocery store. Edward, something's wrong, he was just—he wasn't himself!" Her eyes spoke of some great fear, a fear I myself had begun feeling only days after that unfortunate meeting by the lake. Though I knew her worry came as that of a friend, mine was something far more difficult to explain, more difficult to justify. I was a vampire, for God's sake, how was I supposed to even begin to explain the sudden protective—possessive, even—feelings I had for some dirty mutt?

"I'm sure he's fine," I tried to tell her calmly. I could fool her into believing I was calm and not worried, but irrationally, inside I was quaking with anxiety. I had no reason to feel any such feelings for a boy I'd met less than a handful of times, yet I did.

She shook her head forcefully, her hair flying in different directions. "No, no, you don't understand, there was something seriously wrong with him! He got so angry with me…I don't even understand why, I just touched him and he—"

"You touched him?" I was gritting my teeth as I all but spit the words out. "Where?"

To anyone else, it would have sounded as though I was possessive about her putting her hands on someone else. But I wondered—only for a second—if I was maybe possessive about him being touched by her. I didn't want to think about that possibility though. Not now…not ever.

"What does it matter? I was worried about him, and he just-I don't even know, Edward, he ran away from me," her voice trailed off. "I'm worried about him. I tried calling his cell but it went straight to voicemail."

"Bella, Jacob can take care of himself. I'm sure wherever he is, he's fine." Who was I trying to reassure? Her, or myself?

"Please, Edward, find him, you have to go look for him," her voice was so desperate and I knew, somehow I knew, it wouldn't take much more on her part before I would leave to seek out the missing wolf.

"I don't even know where to begin looking," I tried to say, though even I could hear how weak an excuse it was.

"Edward, don't do this. Don't let some stupid treaty line dictate your life and your decisions. Even if you don't care for him, Jacob could be seriously hurt. How could you live with yourself if—"

"Alright." Anger rose in my throat, bitter, sickening anger as I heard what she was about to say. "And it isn't some stupid treaty line," I muttered, stepping around her and through the still open door. "That treaty line is there to protect people," the like you was left unspoken, but we both heard it.

I wondered if that had been too cruel, but I was already walking away before I could stop to apologize. Lately, it seemed I was too quick to anger around her. I couldn't explain it; one minute we would be talking easily, then suddenly I was fighting to keep control of my anger. Almost always it was when she mentioned Jacob Black.

I didn't want to think about Black. Not at that moment, not ever. But with nothing to do all day, all night, I found him increasingly becoming the only thing I did think about.

They weren't romantic thoughts, not by a longshot. But they weren't thoughts of ripping him apart either. I would find myself unconsciously picturing his face, or his wolf form, or even just the Quileute land at random moments in the day. Sometimes at night, thoughts of what he looked like sleeping plagued my mind, turning over and over until I was thinking deformed thoughts of myself and him together. Not intimate, just…together.

I was running and hadn't even noticed. The world flew by me like the reel of a film. Colors, mostly green and brown hues from the trees rushed passed me too quickly to properly see. I paid them no heed.

I had no idea where I was going, but strangely the thought of stopping never occurred to me. It was twilight, my safest time. While the bloodlust was nothing more than a fleeting thought in my mind, my instincts still seemed to have taken over me.

I continued to run for some time until, for reasons I may never be able to understand, I suddenly stopped.

I stood stone-still. There was nothing assuming about where I was, except the sounds of pathetic whimpering that I could hear. Whoever, or whatever, was making those sounds couldn't have been far away, though the sound of their cries was faint.

I began to tread slowly, somehow knowing who it was I was hearing as I came closer. And then there he was, Jacob Black in his wolf form.

I could only just make him out, the canopy of trees above protecting the forest floor from starlight. My other senses felt sharper.

I walked closer. His breathing was labored, harsh whimpers that tore at something unnamable inside me spilling from his mouth.

"What have you done to yourself, Black?" I asked rhetorically, knowing I wouldn't get a reply.

His thoughts flowed like honey through my mind. He recognized me, had recognized me from the moment I'd entered his field of vision, but he didn't believe it was me, believing instead it was his own mind playing a cruel game with his heart. From his thoughts alone, I gathered just how much pain he was in, though I didn't understand why.

I began to make my way to his shaking form. A sudden break in the trees cast a ray of moonlight on him. For a second, all I could do was stare.

He was dirty, whimpering, quivering in pain, and all I could think was how enchanting, how ethereal he looked in that moment. That was, until I suddenly paid attention to his thoughts.

My own angel…

I wanted to snort at that. I was no angel. Angels didn't find beauty in a broken man, or in his case, wolf. "Not quite an angel," I whispered.

I felt his embarrassment as though it were my own, feeling doubly shocked that I could feel his emotions so strongly. Masking the embarrassment though was a fierce sense of longing and relief, as though I really were an angel, sent to save him.

"Bla—ack," I groaned, unable to stop myself. He had no idea what his thoughts were doing to me, making me feel so irrationally protective. I had to stop this, stop these feelings. They would only damage the fragile thing the wolves and vampires of little town Forks had created.

I shuddered as his thoughts of self-loathing bombarded me. Every feeling of worthlessness made me feel almost guilty for wanting to reject him, but I shook my head and cleared my thoughts, trying to block his voice from my mind.

"Black, stop it," I said. I winced, though he didn't see it, from the irritation I hadn't managed to hide.

How could I let my imprint see me so weak?

"You're not weak!" I couldn't help but grind out. Did he really think himself so useless? I knelt down beside him. "And I'm not angry."

Liar.

"I'm not angry at you," I told him, and I wasn't. I was angry at the situation he'd put us in by imprinting on me, I was angry at whatever had caused him so much pain, I was angry at myself for feeling so ridiculously protective of him all of a sudden…I was angry at many things, but I wasn't angry at him. "I'm just…I…You couldn't understand Bla-Jacob."

I didn't want to be crueler than what he deserved. He had given me space these past few weeks, knowing he would have to endure pain because of it. I figured the least I could do was call him by his given name.

I sighed, frustrated at the world at that moment. He looked at me, noticing our close proximity. Without thinking, I reach out and placed my hand on his shoulder. I never could have foreseen his reaction.

He jerked, a whine escaping his muzzle before I suddenly found myself with Jacob Black, human Jacob Black, trembling tremulously like a tiny leaf on the ground.

His relief was nearly palpable, sobs wracking his form. Without hesitating, I bent lower and grasped him in my arms, pulling him up into a tight embrace. I didn't think about the fact that he was naked and dirty. As I wrapped my cold arms around him, all I knew to do was offer him what little comfort I could.

He buried his face into my shoulder, breathing deeply between each cry. I recognized the gesture as something Bella often did when she cried.

It was strange, feeling so needed by two people. My scent was something I had no control over, it was only another inhuman characteristic I'd found myself with to help lure victims to their doom after all. But for Jacob, it was as though it were the only thing he needed to stay alive.

"Shhh, Jacob," I whispered into his ear, trying to soothe him, "just breathe…That's it, breathe, it's okay."

He cried harder and I understood. I knew, I felt, it was no longer from pain, but from fear; fear I would leave him again, which we both knew I would. He was clutching my jacket like a dying man, and it suddenly dawned on me in that moment…that he was.

Back to Part X June 24, 2010