The crew of the Imparroter continued on their quest to retrieve Bev's bet money- all thanks to the quick thinking of the author, dreadfully pun-filled though it was. Unfortunately, it turned out that the Writer's Block had crushed the Sat Nav, so they would have to find either a new Sat Nav or, more cheaply, kidnap a human navigator to lead them to the Isle de Dramatic Scene.
Despite having already visited a typical pirate island in this story, the crew decided to risk repetitiveness and visit the totally original Ratrat Island. This was an island filled with shadowy parrots who were said to have blood mixed with a race of giant rats that could only be seen by people who were so drunk they couldn't see straight. As a result, the inhabitants of Ratrat Island generally kept hip flasks at all times so they could see each other. This was sometimes inconvenient, but it meant that if you were annoyed at someone, you could just stay sober for a while. This worked unless both rat-people were annoyed, then tricks could be played or they would keep walking into each other.
Bev, Bill and Jock also encountered this problem, bumping into several of the Ratrat inhabitants before having tankards of cheap beer thrust into their hands. Soon, they could see the rat-like people (or the humanoid rats) and could, in a rambling and slurring way, asking for help.
"W-we need a nagivator... a gavinator... yeah, for our shlip." Bev said before walking into a lamppost.
"Or a Satellite Navigations System, good sir." Bill said, the alcohol making him sound like an odd twat from another story. Jock nodded, the movement causing him to lose balance and fall over.
By the end of a torturous five minutes, though it seemed longer to the Ratrat inhabitants, they had successfully explained their need for navigation equipment/people. So they took the crew of the Imparroter to someone who not only could navigate, but who they were sick of and wanted to send away with some idiots who probably had self-destructive tendencies. Perfect.
The annoying person in question was an odd young woman named Layla. As well as knowing about navigation, she was highly skilled at making sushi, carving eggs and many other unusual and mostly useless skills. She annoyed people because she kept trying to bring these unusual skills to the local school, market stalls and random homes. All in all, she was generally irritating and persistent.
The crew of the Imparroter loved her.
It took approximately ten minutes for the Ratrat residents to pack Layla's bags, mostly with the odd equipment from her various hobbies, and say goodbye. The crew of the Imparroter took this time to drunkenly attempt to repair the ship using maple syrup, pancakes and a lot of carpets. Although only the last one was used for repairs as Bev, Jock and Bill were hungry and needed something to soak up the alcohol.
In what seemed like no time at all (or was that the alcohol?), the slightly- expanded crew were setting sail towards the Isle de Dramatic Scene thanks to their new navigator/sushi chef/egg sculptor.
Bev wondered if perhaps they should have spent more time on Ratrat island- it seemed that the place was just a one-dimensional plot device created by the author for mild amusement and to introduce another maniac... this ponderance was brought to an abrupt halt when Bev noticed the Writer's Block hovering above her head. She glared at it, then got distracted by the prospect of food and forgot about it.
As the crew sat down to a meal of nigiri and maki with candlesticks crafted from piled-up eggs, Layla chatted amicably, if a little nonsensically.
"So in the end, I just told the novelty pineapple salesman that he could either co-operate with my shared profits policy or I would send my egg henchmen round to hurt his business," she paused as her face darkened, "He got hurt in the process. No-one messes with my business."
There was a silence as the three original members of the Imparroter judged whether this level of crazy was still on par with that of their ship. They decided not to object to Layla's presence- Bill and Jock because she scared them, Bev because she liked sushi and it was fun to scare her two friends.
"Dance, my puppets, dance with feeeaaarrr!!!" she muttered quietly to herself as Layla continued talking, having been accepted by the crew as one of them- a lunatic.
The word "ponderance" is courtesy of my friend Kate, and this chapter is courtesy of the voices, particularly the Duchess of Coconut!