Kylo exhaled heavily, hunching over and reholstering his blaster as he struggled to step through the macabre scene of mangled limbs and leaned his shoulder heavily against the bar. He looked around, observing, his mind blessedly blank. Why had he done this? He winced.

The assassin at the inn…the people in this tavern… 'There's a bounty on you…'

The First Order….he sighed, a whimper escaping his lips, and he squeezed his eyes closed despite the sting from the numerous tiny cuts that scratched his face.

This isn't what he expected. This isn't how he thought it would go at all. Why would they put a bounty on him? Didn't they understand why he had to go?

His mind raced as he tried to get a grasp of the timeline. Hux had taunted him, Hux had suffered for it. He'd headed for the hanger because…Rey.

His eyes rolled back into his head as his eyes fluttered closed again. Didn't they understand anything?

Everything was falling apart.

This is why he took on these criminals. This is why he had to do it with his bare hands. Gods, he was exhausted. He'd had to get his head straight- just gunning them down would've been too simple. He only had so much ammunition left anyway.

The thought of ammo had him grasping for his weapon and he hissed as he bumped a rather nasty bruise in his shoulder reaching for it. Pulling it free, he checked the charge. Seven charges left. He sighed, putting it back.

There was no going back now. He was too angry, he told himself, as he glared at the tavern entrance. With an arm wrapped around his ribs, he took a step, and then another, and then his foot slid across the floor leaving clumpy streaks on the blood-soaked planks and he flung out his free arm to try and balance himself. He took in shallow, seething breaths through his clenched teeth and stepped again, finally reaching the doors. He flung them open and stepped into the fading sunlight.

People were gathered on the fringes of the establishment, and they watched him as he struggled his way down the beaten road. Their feelings were overwhelming him—

Monster.

What is he?

So much blood.

Is that really Kylo Ren?

He was shaking now. The First Order had really cut him off. A strange emotion translated itself across his brows as they twisted from genuine hurt and betrayal to fury.

Is no one going to stop him?

Panicked eyes darting at the distant gathered crowd, he couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand their thoughts, their feelings that they kept projecting onto him. Why did they care? Why did any of them care? They would never understand, couldn't understand, how he hadn't had a moment of peace in months since the base was destroyed, how he couldn't focus unless he was knee deep in gore and battle because she kept invading his every waking moment. But he couldn't stand their thoughts on him, and they wouldn't stop. They wouldn't stop thinking at him. He felt his mind cracking under it all.

His breath huffed harder through his teeth, spittle flying, as the sound of his gasps morphed into a long and agonizing scream and he clutched at his blaster and fired off a shot into the crowd. They screamed, they ran, and he shot again. He watched someone fall. Their thoughts were shifting now, he could almost feel the relief, and he cried louder and shot into a particularly large group of spectators once more.

His breath heaved in his chest, his bruised ribs sending signals to his brain to STOP THAT, but he couldn't. His arm dropped and his finger twitched on the trigger sporadically as he tossed back his head, trying to shift some of the blood-matted hair away from his face.

This is all her fault.

He closed his eyes. Ahhh, gods. Yes.

His thoughts seemed to click into place. All her fault, all of this. Everything was fine (wasn't it?) until she came. The girl. The 'scavenger'.

The wind blew across his face, cooling the sweat on his brow and he turned to hurry back to his ship.

Yes, it was her fault, he concluded, and a smile tugged at his lips. She tempted him, with her Light and her eyes….his breath shuddered through him as he saw them flashing before him now, as they'd looked in his interrogation chamber, as they'd looked in his dream in the snow….

Where are you? he reached out as his ship came into sight. He watched as the port crew scrambled at the sight of him, and when he saw one man clutch angrily at his tools as he looked at him, Kylo flung back his body, raised his blaster stiffly, and shot him dead.

His chest heaved and he growled, reaching over to grip harshly where he knew a significant bruise was blooming and he suppressed a scream.

More, he thought, feeling the darkness rush towards him, and he tried to use it to clear his head but it didn't seem to be working.

He turned sharply to look at either side of him, hair whipping around his face and the ends stinging his already damaged skin like tiny flails, and he watched a small group of workers huddle in a nearby mech bay. He glared at them and tried to smile when they flinched back, but something clutched at his chest and he wanted to scream again. Instead, he raised his blaster and fired two more shots at the roof of the shelter, watching as chunks flew away from the structure. More screams. More panic. Less thoughts being shoved onto him.

He stomped over to his ship, undid the tethers with a very shaky hand, and as he went to reholster his weapon, he noticed the charge. One shot left.

Suddenly, Kylo calmed.

One shot.

The entire world stilled as he stared at the readout. One shot and the blaster would be useless. One shot and he might as well throw it away. He might as well throw it away now- what was one shot even good for?

"Oh," he heard himself say aloud.

He stood, hearing the whimpers and the cries from nearby and they seemed so far away. Kylo himself was calm. Unerringly calm. One shot…and he could end it.

He took in a deep and trembling breath as he considered it. It would be so easy- just raise the blaster to his head and pull the trigger. No more anger, no compulsion to lash out, no ripping apart of his soul to adhere to this or that. No more Kylo Ren. No more Ben Solo. No more Leia Organa or Han or Hux or Snoke or….Rey.

His grip on the blaster tightened and began to shake. The calm was slipping away from him- the promised peace of death that had flashed briefly through his mind becoming just another false illusion like everything else. Everything was a lie. Everything but her.

"Rey…" he gasped as his finger twitched on the trigger.

He gritted his teeth, thinking, staring at the ground. He raised the weapon before him, shot into the wilderness, and flung the blaster into the tall grass as far as his broken body would allow with a guttural scream.

It was so easy now. He turned, climbed up the retractable ladder, secured himself in the cockpit, and took off, leaving the chaos his presence had wrought far below him as he soared into space.

He reached out. "Rey…" he said tersely aloud, and she was there. He could feel her. And she had moved.

Adrenaline he didn't think he had left spiked through him. She'd moved, and she was calling to him- he'd just been too preoccupied to notice. It was weak, vague. She was clearly trying to imitate his efforts without really understanding how to do it.

She really needs a teacher, he thought absently, and the idea brought an upward tug to his lips.

"Oh, I'm coming…" he said quietly, closing his eyes to feel. He tapped the coordinates into the computer and jumped to hyperspace.

—

Rey only brought with her what she needed. Any more would weigh the light transport down and right now speed was preferable over baggage. When she realized she recognized the outpost Kylo was on, she'd pushed her little ship as fast as it could go and she was soon approaching her first waypoint. Once she touched down, refueled, and maybe restocked a bit if there was anything worth getting, she'd just be one step away from the wasteland planet the Resistance had set up their new base on.

Although she knew she was safe in hyperspace, the anxiety wouldn't stop tingling at the back of her neck. She hated it. Standing up, she left the cockpit and walked to the small commons area the ship had and paced around the tiny floorspace, biting her nails surreptitiously. She hoped this would work. This needed to work. If Kylo couldn't be thrown off by the presence of the entire Resistance, well…..well then they'd just capture him.

This idea caused Rey to let go a breath she had no idea she was holding and she sunk down onto the hard bench along the shuttle wall. Yes, they'd capture him.

And then either way this will all be over, she thought to herself, and she felt some of the prickling leave the back of her neck as she closed her eyes.

A storm of emotions hit her suddenly. Like a hard knock to the chest, like she used to feel when she was small and not good at clinging to the edge of the dead cruisers yet and she'd slip and fall flat against the hard sand and all the breath would come out of her. She hunched over, hand grasping at the bench space next to her, and a cry escaped her throat.

It wasn't exactly pain. Or maybe it was? A heady mixture of rage and futility and pure passion, and a dozen other things she could feel but couldn't precisely name, coursed through her and she felt her heart about to burst. It was too much! Too much! Too much to feel for any one person and yet….

Her eyes flashed open and she knew. Somehow…through their connection, this was all Kylo Ren. Her brows knit together as a hand rose to her chest to clutch at her heart.

How…? she thought desperately. Tears began streaming unbidden from her eyes as she succumbed to the emotions overwhelming her. She choked back a sob that threatened to escape past her lips, but when another came close behind it, she couldn't stop it. She could no longer see, the sobs overcoming her, and soon she was curled against the freezing floor of the ship, weeping.

She grabbed at her knees as she stopped resisting- it was impossible to stop it. Instead she just wondered over and over how a being like Kylo Ren could feel just so much. It didn't make sense. How could someone so cold feel so hotly, so vehemently, as if to spite the freezing exterior he so carefully cultivated.

It swirled around her, and just as she thought she'd choke and probably die from the tears, a sudden wave of eerie calm washed over her and she gasped for air greedily as her crying stopped. Like a fish she'd once seen on Takodana pulled out of its precious water, she sucked in the air like it was all she ever wanted, and she relaxed her muscles, dropping her head against the floor, and fell back into the calm. Although it felt a bit tainted, almost conditional, she held onto it for every ounce of relief it offered.

Suddenly, it was all over, and Rey just stared blankly in front of her, eyes level with the dusty floor, mouth slightly agape.

How could he feel so much?

Rey could sense her arm and her leg pressed against the ship's floor start to go numb from the cold when the cockpit began beeping incessantly, warning her that she'd soon leave hyperspace, and she gingerly pulled herself up and heavily ambled back into the pilot's chair, eyes leaden and hooded as the ship punched through and the first way planet emerged looming before her.

She thought very little as she steered carefully through the atmosphere and landed at the docking port for the planet's trading outpost. Everything became perfunctory as she paid the docking fee and sought out what the outpost had to offer. A few rations, a few vanity items and knickknacks. As she was in mid-negotiation with a local for a canister of water, she heard him.

"Rey…" the voice whispered against her unsteady mind.

She sighed, taking in a breath, and quickly excused herself from the confused merchant. She walked quickly, almost running, to the edge of town, and closed her eyes and reached.

"Yes," her own mind whispered to him. "I'm here. Come to me. I'm right here."

She thought she could feel a spike of excitement along the thickening twine that bound them and her eyes steeled.

Yes, come, she thought. Come this way and far, far away from Ahch-to.

Pressing her lips together in determination, she ran back to the merchant, completed her transaction, and was quickly back aboard her shuttle, full speed for the Resistance base.

A/N: Thank you all so much for your kind words last chapter. This chapter went into places I never intended, and it is darkly beautiful. I hope it lived up to expectations. Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and taking the time out to read- I love you all.

PS: If you guys shoot me a question but don't have an account or have PMs turned off, there's no way for me to get up with you, so please turn on PMs, etc., and let's chat!