Well firstly thanks to everyone who has been reading this story (especially those who review!), it has been really enjoyable to write. There are a few chapters to go yet and I hope you like this latest instalment.
imhooked5 - so glad you like this story! It is always awesome to get a new reader
DontMindBnCrazy - always love getting your reviews! Thanks I was nervous about the song, it came from a poem I wrote but I wasn't sure it worked for the story.
snrclass08 - thanks, it means so much to get such positive reviews!
2bz2breading - Glad you liked chapter 10. I have planned where I want this story to go, a few chapters in it yet. I assure you though I will not be breaking Spashley up again in this fic.
LoveAsh87 - Thanks so much! You are a gem! I hope you like this chapter
hugbuddy13 - you are seriously so kind! I love writing and if other people actually like reading what I have to say then it is beyond great! Thank you!!
Enjoy chapter 11 my lovelies!
You Have To Go There To Come Back
Chapter 11
Spencer's POV
It had been a wonderful and amazing couple of weeks. I was officially back together with Ashley and I can't remember ever being happier.
Since the night of the launch of Arona's single, me and Ash had become closer than we were before. We had spent all our free time together and spoke on the phone for hours every night. I was still living at Mom and Dad's, as much as I love her it was still a tad too soon for us to jump into living together again. I wanted this to work so I wasn't going to rush into anything. I wanted this to be a forever kinda deal.
In fact we hadn't progressed beyond heavy make out sessions as yet either. It wasn't like I didn't want to, my God did I want to, but it just never seemed like the right moment. I guess I just wanted our first time since we got back together to be special. Ashley was being so patient with me and it just made me want her even more. Not to mention that fact that my girlfriend is seriously hot, have I mentioned that? She is so gorgeous and sexy that I sometimes have to sit on my hands just to keep myself under control.
It didn't really matter though, we had reached a new level of intimacy since getting back together and that was without actually being, well, intimate. I loved her with an intensity that continued to surprise me and I knew she felt the same. The connection between us was undeniable and grew stronger with every passing day.
The day had finally come, the screening of my documentary at the L.A. Short Documentary Film Festival. They were pretty prestigious awards and it was an honour to even be allowed to enter. I was officially the youngest entrant and easily the most inexperienced. I was proud of my work though, it was close to my heart and I was so glad I had been able to tell the story of what it was like to be a young gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person beginning their college career. It had been sad how many of the people I interviewed were still having negative experiences, but also heart warming to hear the stories of people who were having positive experiences.
The screening was going to take place at the UCLA film school screening hall so at least it was on familiar territory. I was nervous, extremely nervous. It was the kind of nervous that made you almost certain that you had swallowed a bucket load of bugs that were all squirming around in your gut. I just wanted the night to go well. I had no expectations that I would actually win anything, I just wanted people to like my work and for it to maybe make them stop think a bit. It's not like I expected my film to change the world, but maybe it could make a few people consider the issue.
I was just finishing getting dressed when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I knew that particular knock so well. I smiled to myself and called over my shoulder, "Come in Ashley."
My girl walked in and stopped in her tracks, staring open mouthed at me. Her expression was one of pure, unadulterated want. Well I knew I looked good, but who knew I looked that good! I was wearing a fitted black, pin-stipe pant suit. The tailored trousers were moulded to my legs before flowing over my feet which were sporting black high heels. I was wearing the tailored jacket with one button done up and a burgundy silk shirt underneath, buttoned up just enough that is showed a flash of black lace bra when I moved. I had my hair in a loose bun at the base of my neck and a hat that looked like it belonged in a gangster movie perched on my head. It wasn't my usual look but I felt like trying something new and judging by the look on my girls face, it was totally paying off!
"My God Spencer, you look so…wow!" Ashley said in a breathy voice.
"Ah appropriate response Miss Davies. You don't look so bad yourself, actually you look amazing!" And she did. Ash was wearing a tight white dress that hugged her curves perfectly. The halter-neck of the dress left her back bare and gave me a perfect view of her kissable shoulders, while the skirt came to mid-thigh giving me a far too good view of her flawless legs, which I really wanted to have wrapped around me. The outfit was paired with a pair of white, high-heels. Her long hair was swept up behind her head and a few curls fell loose, framing her face. She was wearing long silver earrings and a matching necklace and my God I wanted her there and then.
I started to make my way over to her and things probably would have gotten out of control had my Dad not stuck his head in to see if we were ready to go. After smiling sheepishly at each other we followed my parents and Glen out of the house and headed off to the film festival.
Once we arrived I showed my girl and the family to their seats and greeted Lily who was already there, before I went to take my seat with the other film-makers, most of which were old enough to be my parents and one of which was old enough to be my parents' parent. It was all pretty intimidating. There were ten documentaries that had been selected by the judges to be screened and mine was the sixth to be shown, a massive honour let me tell you. Each documentary was twenty minutes in length so the whole screening would run for about three and a half hours, yeah a bloody long time, and then the awards had to be handed out.
The first few documentaries were incredible, the fourth kind of hard to understand then number five was brilliant. When it came to my turn I was so nervous I kinda wanted to hurl. Instead of watching my film I watched the audience and was floored to see so many people reacting so well to it. I even saw a few people wiping away tears. My movie seemed to really touch people and that was amazing to me. Once it ended the credits began to roll, starting with a dedication to Ashley. I felt her eyes on me and turned to see her eyes spilling over with tears. I gave her a huge smile and blew her a kiss, which I think the old guy next to her thought was for him, insert shudder here.
The last four documentaries were great. There were some incredible film-makers out there! I felt so honoured to even be in the same room with such talented people. After the screening we were given fifteen minutes to get up and get food or go to the bathroom. I, of course, went to find my girl.
"Hey gorgeous, so what did you think?" I asked coming up behind her.
Ashley spun around and pulled me into a warm hug, "Oh my God Baby, it was fantastic. I cried. The way you told their stories, made me feel like I was right there with them, it wasn't just their story you know, it was like it was the story of all kids who don't quite fit the mould. It felt like my story, our story. It was beautiful and moving and I am predicting you are going to be a film-making force to be reckoned with! I can't believe you dedicated it to me!"
I kissed her cheek and said, "Thanks Baby, and just for the record I dedicated it to you before that night at Radius, while we still weren't speaking. The film was always for you, it was our story, so there was no one else I was going to dedicate it to. You inspired me," Ashley snuggled into my arms again.
"I love you Spence, and I am so proud of you!" I kissed her gently and then had to get back to my seat.
The award presentations began soon after. The first award was for cinematography, followed by an award for music. The technical awards were soon over with me managing to score an award for editing (I was so shocked, I didn't expect to win anything, many thanks need to go to Lily for that one!).
Next the award for best documentary was to be announced. I clapped along with everyone else when the third film screened took out the prize it was truly an incredible film, although the acceptance speech dragged on a bit and made me start to feel more than a bit drowsy. They announced the placings after that and I was thrilled to find I'd placed third, a hell of an achievement for my first proper film! I was so buzzed by it that I wanted to run straight out and start filming my next project.
The emcee then returned to the microphone to announce the last award of the night. I was sitting in a glow of happiness over my third place when he began speaking.
"Ladies and Gentlemen it's time for the announcement of the winner of the final award of the night. This award is given in recognition of brilliance, but most importantly social consciousness. Each of the films shown tonight document parts of our world and in their own ways raise awareness of issues that face our society, but there is one film in particular that reached out and took us all on the journey of the experiences of a unique group of people in our society. It is my great pleasure to announce that the winner of the social conscious award is 'Love is Blind' a film by our youngest film-maker, Spencer Carlin!" My mouth fell open in shock. I barely noticed the thunderous applause as I rose from my seat and reached the stage. I took my award and shook hands with the emcee before being directed to the microphone to make a speech. Make a speech!!! I hadn't prepared for this! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!
"Um, gosh I'm not sure what to say. I never expected this, and I know all the celebs say that at award shows, but I am seriously in shock. I guess first and foremost I want to thank all the people who willingly shared their stories and opened up their lives to me for this film. It is a topic close to my own heart. I always thought that leaving high school would change everything for me, I'd go from being one of the only gay kids to being in a huge sea of open-mindedness and other people experiencing what I was. It doesn't really work like that. While we've come a long way, society still isn't always kind to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender community.
I made this film to highlight the unique struggle that young people who are gay, bisexual or transgender go through. I want to say thank you to my family and friends who always support and encourage me. Thank you to Lily Zee who took a chance on a young, inexperienced film-maker and has taught me so much. I also want to say a special thank you to my beautiful girlfriend Ashley. Baby, this is love and I'm in it, not matter what anyone thinks. Thank you." I stepped down from the stage to a standing ovation.
I'd barely taken three steps from the stage when Ashley was in my arms, kissing me and telling me how much she loved me. I melted into her embrace, totally consumed by the spectacular brunette holding me. We made our way back to my seat, oblivious to the smiles we were getting from the assembled film-makers and guests. Ashley plunked herself down on my lap as we listened to the closing address by the emcee.
Once the awards were over we stayed briefly for the after party. It was surreal. All these really experienced and quite well know documentary makers were coming up to tell me how much they loved my work. I was so overwhelmed. It was a total dream come true, especially the part where Ashley was on my arm grinning at me proudly. That was absolutely the greatest part.
After many hugs and congratulations from my parents, Glen and Lily they headed off leaving me with my girl. We didn't stay much longer at the party. I networked a little bit and then we headed out. It had been a long night and I so wanted to spend some quality time with my beautiful girl.
"So pretty girl, why don't we head back to the loft? I think I want you all to myself," I murmured as I leaned against Ashley.
"Your wish, Miss Carlin, is my command. Let's get out of here," Ashley practically dragged me from the building in her haste to leave and I couldn't help but laugh at her eagerness all the way to the car.
The drive to the loft was spent holding hands and listening to a CD of the artists signed to Ashley's label, there were now four bands, three solo artists and a duet. All was sublimely good, if the CD we were listening to was anything to go by. It was amazing to me, Ashley was totally making a go of it and succeeding with the label but still always made time for me. It wasn't like last time, this time around I knew I came first and fuck that felt good.
We arrived at the loft and walked in the front door arm in arm. Everything was just about perfect.
Ashley's POV
I was so proud of Spencer, that film she'd made was brilliant and she so deserved the recognition she'd gotten, she was supremely talented. The speech she'd made when receiving her award for social conscious made me cry, it was so moving and beautiful. I felt myself falling deeper in love with her yet again.
I couldn't stop thinking about her words, 'Baby, this is love and I'm in it, not matter what anyone thinks.' They warmed my heart and made me want to hold her in my arms and never let her go. We had struggled through so much, even before the shit with my job. I guess that's part of the deal when you're gay. You get all the regular struggles, ups and downs of falling in love coupled with the fact that parts of society hate you simply because of who you love. I guess being gay can mean having to face a whole heap of ugly being throw at you from the ignorant masses. I think that's why Spencer's film mattered so much.
We arrived at the loft after leaving the film festival after party. We walked in arm in arm and I quickly swept her over to the sofa. I sat my girl down before disappearing into the kitchen to retrieve the champagne I had waiting on ice and the platter of fresh fruit with whipped cream and chocolate to dip it in. On my way back to the sofa, and my girl, I used my elbow to hit play on the CD player, which I had set up with a CD I'd made of all the songs that made me think of Spencer.
She gazed at me lovingly as I placed the fruit and champagne in front of her. I took a seat beside her and pulled her legs to rest over my lap. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders while my other hand found hers and clutched it on her lap. I brought my lips to hers in a soft, almost teasing kiss. "I love you," I whispered, our lips still touching.
She smiled against my lips and whispered, "Yeah? How bout you show me how much?" I grinned and kissed her again, quickly deepening the kiss, I took her hat off and started to gently push her back against the sofa cushions so I could lean down over her. I braced myself on my arms, keeping the contact frustratingly light, which Spencer made clear by groaning loudly in frustration. I chuckled before moving to sit under her legs again. I ignored the look of disbelief on Spencer's face and poured us each a glass of champagne.
I handed her the glass and raised mine in toast, "To you my brilliant, sexy and talented girl. I am so proud of you. To you Spencer Carlin."
"To us," Spencer corrected as she touched her glass to mine. We both sipped the delicious champagne before she turned to me and dazzled me with her blinding smile and adorable head tilt. I beamed at her, God I love her so much.
I picked up a strawberry and dipped it in chocolate and then cream before delicately feeding it to my girl. I have to admit watching her close her lips around that damn lucky piece of fruit, I really wanted her lips on me, all of me. I was fine with waiting before we slept together again, but I couldn't deny that I wanted her desperately.
We spent the next little while laughing and feeding each other while sipping on the expensive champagne. I had just wiped a drop of whipped cream off her nose, giggling loudly, when Spencer suddenly became serious. And I mean deadly serious. Her eyes locked on mine, the deep blue becoming as dark as the ocean at night, as her hand reached out to cup my cheek in her palm. I gulp a little, not gonna lie. The situation was no longer funny, it was real.
Spencer slowly leant forward and placed her lips against mine where they began to dance with mine, slow at first, gentle, before moving more quickly and with a deeper intensity. Her hand made its way round to the nape of my neck and she pulled me closer against her. This time she lowered herself to the sofa and pulled me down over her. I didn't hesitate, I lowered my body over hers delighting in the feeling of having her beneath me.
Spencer stroked my bottom lip with her tongue, making me immediately open my lips to grant her entrance. We both moaned as our tongues came into contact. We had kissed before, well ok so we had kissed a lot before, but this was different. It was a promise, a promise of more, of a future. It was the moment when I stopped holding back.
I had been secretly scared. Scared that I wouldn't be enough or wouldn't be deserving of the beautiful woman who lay in my arms. So I held back. I told myself it was just me not wanting to push her or force her into anything she wasn't ready for. But really I was the one who wasn't ready. I held part of myself back, scared that it would all fall apart again and I knew I could never survive losing Spencer Carlin again, especially after all we had been through to get to where we were. I just couldn't. But in that moment I realised that love and life are a risk. If you don't go all in you can't win big.
So I went all in.
I kissed her with all the love and passion that were buried deep in me. I held her to me like she was the most precious thing in my world, which she is. Spencer eagerly responded to me, her hands moving down my back to clutch at my hips, bringing them as close to hers as they could get. I grinned against her mouth and bit down on her lower lip, before soothing it with my tongue. I moved my lips down along her jaw to her throat. Spencer tilted her head to give me better access and I willingly took advantage of that.
I kissed down to her collar bone before sitting up and pulling her with me. I looked deeply into her eyes as I slowly slid her jacket down over her shoulders and along her arms. I waited for her to pull away or to stop me but she never did. Her eyes held mine and her mouth formed a small, but intense smile of love and longing.
I kissed her again, harder this time, while I started to work on the buttons on her shirt. I had to fight the urge to rip the shirt open, damn small buttons! Finally I got the shirt open and I lowered my lips to her collar bone again and began to move my lips down. I placed hot kisses along her chest and over her cleavage. God I had wanted this for so long!
I kissed my way back to her lips and allowed my hands to run up her sides to arrive at her breasts. Spencer groaned into my mouth as I began to knead her breast through her bra. She moved her lips from mine and to my ear before whispering breathlessly, "bedroom, now."
I grinned down at her before pulling her up from the sofa and leading her into the bedroom. Once inside the room I turned to face her, holding her waist in my hands. Staring into her gorgeous eyes all I saw was my future. Her words repeated themselves in my head so I whispered them allowed, "Baby its love and I'm in it." Spencer smiled at me before bringing her lips to mine in a kiss of infinite tenderness.
I walked blindly, backwards towards the bed pulling Spencer with me. Thank God I know my room well because I felt my legs hit the bed without me falling on my ass and ruining the mood. Once I felt the bed. I spun us around and pushed Spencer back onto the covers. I crawled up the bed so I was lying next to her, propped up on my side so I could look down on the vision that was my girlfriend.
Using my index finger I traced her cheek and jaw line before leaning down to kiss her irresistible lips. She pulled me down on top of her and moved her hands to the bare skin of my back. I felt her hands move against me and before I knew it she had lowered the zip on my dress and undone the halter neck as well. Using her hands she worked the dress down over my body until I could kick off into some obscure corner of my bedroom.
That was when I decided that Spencer was far too overdressed for my liking. I ran my hands over her body, causing her to arch her back and moan. I reached the waist band of her pants and gently eased down the zip before popping open the button. I slid her pants down her long, perfect legs, kissing as much exposed skin as I possibly could. I loved the way she writhed beneath me. Once her pants had joined my dress in one of the far corners of my room I kissed my way back up her body. Our lips met and the intensity stepped up a notch.
I lost myself in her, the feeling of her body under mine, the taste of her mouth, her skin, all of it was consuming me. I slid her bra straps down off her shoulders so I could taste the skin there. I traced a pattern over her left shoulder with my tongue, loving the whimpers that came from my girl's throat.
I felt her hands seek my bra strap, quickly and easily undoing it (the first time we made love I had to take it off for her, much to her embarrassment). Her hands found my bare breast and kneaded them, causing my body to involuntarily arch into hers. She flipped us over so that she was resting above me. She smiled down at me, her smile was sweet and adoring. She dropped tender kisses all over my face, my neck, my chest and finally my breasts.
I felt like I was losing my mind, and you know what I so didn't care! This was an absolutely transcendent experience. For a while there I never thought I'd get to hold my girl again and now here we were, it was absolutely perfect.
Spencer's POV
I lay kisses over as much of her body as I possibly could. It felt like it had been forever since I'd touched her satiny skin. I felt more connected to her in that moment than I had ever before. I thought I would be scared to be with her again, you know cautious. But all I felt was a happiness more powerful than any I had ever experienced. I had no voice in my head telling me to be careful, to not be vulnerable to more hurt. The only voice was one telling me that this moment was perfection and that all I'd ever want or need in the world was there in that bed with me.
I kissed her gently, wanting to show her just how much I loved and trusted her. She was my everything and I felt no fear in giving myself to her completely.
She flipped me over and pinned me down on my back. She trailed her fingers through my long blond hair, gently freeing it from the loose bun before kissing my lips with hungry desperation. I grasped at her back, pulling her as close to me as possible. Both out bodies were bathed in a sheen of perspiration and I revelled in the feeling of our sweat slicked bodies moving against each other. The friction between us was building up to an almost alarming intensity. We shed our last remaining items of clothing, both breathing hard.
I needed her to touch me. Which she did, I always knew she could read me. Her hand made its way to my centre where she cupped me gently before entering me with so much tenderness. I kissed her hard while seeking her centre with my own hand. I found her more than ready, in fact I don't think I have ever felt her so aroused. I entered her and between the two of us we built up a steady rhythm building towards ecstasy.
The moment was emotional and intense. I felt tears streaming from my eyes and mingling with the sweat on our faces. It was the perfect balance of giving and receiving pleasure and I never wanted to stop touching her. Making love like this had always been intense, the concentration needed to continue another's pleasure without getting lost in your own was a lot to deal with. But this time there was a whole other level of intimacy and intensity. I felt her fill me and I had never felt closer (emotionally speaking and well ok, ok physically as well) to my girl.
Our motions sped up as we raced together towards the edge. I heard her gasping in my ear, breathing my name again and again. I silenced her with my lips. The kiss was all it took for me to climax, causing me to scream incoherently into her mouth and bite down on her lip (thankfully not too hard), which set off her climax too. She cried out and clung to me. I continued the movement of my fingers inside of her, causing her to spill over the edge for the second time.
I slowly withdrew my fingers, but stopped her when she went to withdraw hers. I still needed her in me, with me for a moment. She smiled at me and tenderly kissed my lips. We both panted, our chests rising and falling against each other as we fought to come down from our high. After a few minutes I moved away slightly, a sign she recognised straight away and removed her fingers from where they were buried deep within me. She brought her fingers to her mouth and delicately licked them clean. Making me groan and close my eyes. I opened them to find Ashley leaning down over me, a huge nose-crinkling smile on her beautiful face.
"Hey," I whispered breathlessly.
"Hey to you too," She whispered back, her voice raspy and oh so sexy.
"That was…wow," I gasped.
Ashley giggled and kissed my cheek, "Yeah it was. I love you Baby."
"I love you too Ash." She lay down beside me and pulled me into her arms. I willingly snuggled into her embrace, laying my cheek against her chest and my arm across her stomach. My God I felt so loved and safe.
Ashley kissed my forehead and we both drifted off to sleep, safe and loved in each others arms.
----------------
I woke up in a warm embrace and immediately smiled. It wasn't like the last time I woke up in her arms. This time there was no voice telling me to run, there was only peace. I was completely at peace. I felt so loved and safe in her arms and I never wanted to leave the safe haven I was in.
I moved my head so that I could look up into her beautiful face. She looked so relaxed, a soft smile gracing her lips and there was no way I would wake her up. I kissed her gently on the cheek before settling my cheek against her chest. In her sleep she tightened her arms around me, as if she was scared I'd get away. I wasn't going anywhere.
I let her sleep. We had woken up about 4am to make love all over again so I figured she was pretty tired. It had been the most incredible night. I lay in her arms, content and happy only to have the calm shattered by my cell phone.
Ashley sat straight up in bed, almost tipping me off onto the floor, looking around in confusion, "what's that?" She slurred in a voice still husky from sleep. She looked so completely adorable I had to laugh and kiss her pouting lips before I held up my still ringing phone and answered it.
"Hi Mom." Ashley's look of confusion became on of mischief as she began kissing the side of my neck. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from groaning.
"Yeah sorry Mom I stayed at Ashley's," I held the phone away from my ear as my Mom squealed happily, who knew a parent could be so happy that their child was out all night having sex. Speaking of…I swatted Ashley's hand away as it crept under the sheet and across my stomach. She smirked and continued her exploration of my body, while I tried in vain to fend her off.
"Yeah ok Mom, next time I'll make sure I let you know…yeah ok we'll see you later…bye Mom." I hung up the phone and scowled at my girl. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk to my mother while you touch me like that?"
Ashley grinned at me smugly, "Yeah Baby I know exactly how hard it is, so now that you're off the phone where were we." I giggled as she laid me back against the pillows and lay that gorgeous body of hers over mine. God I love Sunday mornings in bed, especially when I'm with one very hot, adorable and oh so loveable Ashley Davies!
Well there's chapter 11 all done, hope you enjoyed it!
I appreciate any and all comments/reviews/feedback. Much love to all my loyal readers!
Chapter 12 will be up soon!