LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF

CHAPTER 11 - LIVING A LIE

Previously - Hiccup and Astrid finally met up and get very close. Fishlegs insinuates several things and Snotlout gets dragged out of a pub by a bouncer. Hiccup and Astrid also agree that neither of them are ready to just dive into a relationship yet.

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Bold texts are from Hiccup, italics are Astrid.

Forward!

LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF

I just stare at my phone for a few seconds, waiting for the shock to subside and while I collect my memories. Surprisingly, I remember most, if not, all of what happened last night. Including the walk back in each others arms. Out of curiosity I take a sniff of my side. I even smell of her. Gods I was really out of it yesterday. Or early this morning should I say.

My phone pings again to remind me I have a message, and I tentatively open it.

"U'd btr hav a hedache frm Hel aftr last night beanpole. I don't evr remembr havng a hangover this bad."

I grinned like Christmas and Birthday had come at once. At least it was actually Astrid talking last night and not the alcohol.

Although speaking about headaches, I haven't got one. I don't even feel in the slightest bit dizzy. Times I have drunk a fair bit back at home (challenging dad is a bad idea) also resulted in me never getting a hangover. A theory that goes round is that because I'm so thin, I don't have anywhere to store the drink before it enters my bloodstream, so I get drunk pretty much instantly. Once I'm drunk, I don't need to drink anymore so I don't actually drink enough to give myself a hangover. Another perk of being thin.

"Nope. No hangover here. Never had one and never plan on having one either."

I already know she's going to reply in some violent fashion or another. But my stomach interrupts my thoughts.

"Urgh shush you. Stop trying to rule my life!"

*Rumbles*

"Fine fine! I'll go and get something! Happy now?"

*No reply*

"Thats what I thought."

Something turned out to be a (very large) bowl of cereal. There was a reply from Astrid when I got back;

"U littl shit! I wil drag ur sry ass bck 2 town and force alcohol dwn ur neck if its th last thing I do!"

"Your grammar is killing me Milady. And please don't, I'm already broken in numerous places, I don't need the list of things wrong with me to go up if you don't mind."

I get a reminder on my phone telling me I have a week left to upload my maths and computing coursework to the network. Well good thing it's already all done. I open up my laptop and begin to do so.

"Fine. Does non-text speak suit you just fine? And you're such a wuss."

I could already tell this woman was going to be a lot of work.

"It suits me just fine. How's everyone else in your flat?"

Uploading the computing coursework is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. I also hear someone moving outside, but I pay no attention to it.

"Ruff's put some pictures of us up on FaceBook and is teasing me along with Katrina, and Heather's not said anything since she learned we spent the night together. All in all, mind if I wanted to get away from them?"

It took a moment for my mind to click. Was she asking to come and see me? I'm not in any state to accept a visitor mind…I'm still in my clothes from last night…

"Echo block, floor 3 room 2. Come see me whenever you like."

I hope thats what she meant. Glancing back at the laptop I see that the uploads are all done, and then I decide that I should probably buy a power supply for my desktop, seeing as I left the old one back home. Speaking of home I should probably text mum, I forgot to reply to her last text…

"Coming now."

Ohhhh crap. Battle stations!

I dropped the laptop on my bed and first opened the curtains, blinds and then the window, then pulling my probably rather smelly clothes off and putting some new ones on.

I hear the door to the common room open, and then;

"Oh hey sexy. Come here to see me?"

Well it sounds like Astrid just found out that Snotlout also lives here.

"No shitlout, you are in amongst the last group of people I would ever want to see."

I open the door to see Astrid. If I'm going to be at least a friend to her then the least I can do is not just leave her with him.

"But babe, theres no-one else her who'd interest yo-"

"Hey Hiccup!" She said brightly, cutting out Snotlout and walking over to me. The boy in question's jaw dropped through rock bottom.

"But that's useless! His father fights his wars for him and I knocked him out with one punch!"

Astrid stopped right in front of me, eyes wide in shock.

"Well Snot, it was more the stamp to the face and overload of pain to my fractured nose that did it more than your slug to my temple…" I say quietly, but loud enough for Snotlout to barely just hear it.

"HE DID WHAAAAAT!?" Astrid screamed, wheeling round and storming back the way she came.

"See people like him…-oof!"

Astrid had shot from one end of the room to the other and shoved him with such force, he was sent sprawling across the floor.

"PEOPLE LIKE HIM WHAT!? HUH!?"

So I feel terrible that the Valkyrie is fighting my battles now. Said Valkyrie had her foot on Snotlout's throat. I'd probably best stop her before she takes him to Valhalla. Or banishes him to Hel, the latter looking more likely with every passing second.

I hastily make my way over.

Astrid's voice was seething with venom; "You don't just insult Hiccup, but his father too! He's a soldier, willing to lay his life down for low-lifes like you so none of us live under the boot of Dagur the Deranged! He stood up for Hiccup because he felt guilty over going to war with the possibility of leaving his son without a father!"

An interesting theory, I'd never thought that he may have felt like that.

I rest my hand on her shoulder;

"Come on Astrid, he already looks like he's about to soil himself, and I really don't want to have to deal with the smell if that happens."

She puts a bit more weight onto his throat, before pulling her foot away. Snotlout is left gasping for air and rolling around on the floor.

"Ok. I…I'm sorry. I just, I saw red. How are you? How did I not notice your nose last night? We've been here less than a week, it can't have healed that quickly."

Snotlout made a particularly loud splutter on the floor at that moment.

"On second thoughts, can we go to your room? I don't think I can stand being in the same room as this steaming heap of dragon-"

"Yep! Come on just over there…" I feel like I'm manhandling a live nuclear bomb. Astrid was breathing deeply at this point, trying to calm down.

I close the door behind us, "Welcome to my humble abode. Sorry if you came expecting me to have something for you to do."

She looks around in wonder, and then at all my drawings on the wall.

"Whats that smell…?" Then looks at me, "You! You stink! Have you not had a shower yet!?"

"I didn't get time to between waking up and you saying you'd come, and I'll go now! Can I just-"

"Nope! Gods we could farm pure alcohol from those pores of yours!"

"-buy something online."

"What is it and I'll do it."

I was pulling a towel off my radiator, then gave her a curious look. "You sure? I've not put my card details or anything in…"

"You can pay me back. What is it?"

"It's a computer part."

She gives me a 'really?' look. "Come on, credit me with some intelligence, I know more than the different names of makeup brands. What, is it a hard drive, motherboard…?"

Well I certainly don't mind if she knows a thing or two about computers.

"Err power supply, HX750i. Be back in 5 then, and thank you."

"No worries." She said, picking the laptop up off my bed and pulling the sheets back to air.

Snot was gone off the floor when I left my room, and Fishlegs had taken up the position on the sofa, telly on mute and talking to his mother on the phone by the sounds of it. I didn't disturb him as I walked past and out of the common room towards the showers.

LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF

That really was one of the quickest showers I've ever had. Normally I stand there and think about really deep and philosophical stuff like 'why do we exist' and 'where did the universe come from'. One of my favourite phrases is 'If school is not the place to sleep, then home is not the place for work'. Yet I used to do most of my sleeping at school and college, and even more of the thinking in the shower or in bed trying to get to sleep.

I get back to the common room, still drying my hair, and Fishlegs is in a heated discussion about relative physics with who I now perceive to be his father. We had also been graced with a rare visit from Tuff who was attempting to make beans on toast. I say attempting, the bread was in the microwave and the baked bean tin on the toaster. I think I'll check up on him later, just to make sure he doesn't burn the place down with his baked toast on beans…

"Hey Astrid I think we'd better keep an eye on Tuff becaus…oh."

Room, Spotless. Bed, made. Astrid was even piecing my computer back together on my desk.

I had to pick my jaw up off the floor before saying; "Please don't take this as sexist, but most men couldn't put computer parts together that quickly, let alone a woman."

She turned and gave me a 'bloody really?' look this time, then turning back to the parts. "My uncle never wanted me to be unprepared, so he taught me a lot. Computer needs fixing? I'm your gal. Got pests? I can deal with them. Hot dude getting pummelled? I can name a price."

Oh I see where this is going. I also catch a dark grin flash across her face as she says the last bit.

"I can take care of myself you know." I say bluntly, still drying my hair.

"Yeah and I'm the Queen of England."

"Alright Sasstrid, keep the tone civil eh?"

She screws the last parts together as I sit on my bed

"Right that should be fine, don't touch it yeah? I want to see if I've got it right and it works when you get that power supply."

She turns to face me.

"Are you ok? How is your nose?"

"OW! Thor almighty just because it doesn't look broken doesn't mean you can poke it!"

She giggles, "I thought you said it was fractured?"

"I did, well, Fish thinks it's only fractured so I took his word for it."

Her phone might be on silent, but I still hear it vibrate in her jumper pocket.

"Someone's just texted you" I say, suddenly overcome with thought.

"Eh?" She pulls her phone out, "Oh so they have. Got supersonic hearing or what?"

"Well lets just say that it's slightly sharper to compensate for my less than lacklustre eyesight."

Astrid pulls my desk chair up and sits on it, typing a reply into the phone.

What are we after last night? She clearly feels the same way I do by virtue of the fact that we're currently sitting opposite each other. Oh and I was practically called hot, like who the Hel thinks all 'this' is hot?

She has a strained look on her face. Thats a pretty long text she's sending, some poor sod on the other end is getting a paragraph.

I wait a couple of minutes; "Astrid…what…what are we?"

She looks up, big blue eyes boring into my own. Theres a sad look now, I feel bad by extension, Astrid came here to get away from the onslaught of Ruffnut, not to have to discuss my - our - problems and fantasies.

"I, I, I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked…" Comes stuttering out of my mouth. Damnit, way to appear weak Hiccup.

"No it's fine, I've just -sigh - finished texting anyway." Hitting the send button at the same time and putting the phone away.

Time slows. I sit up straighter on my bed and Astrid shuffles about on the chair. Outside I hear Fishlegs giving Tuffnut an earful on not putting a tin of beans inside the microwave, lest he wants to create a directed energy weapon, or simply just blow it up. Bad move Fish.

I take a breath to say something, but Astrid gets there first;

"I think we both have some proverbial skeletons in our closets, problems which stopped us from going any further than we did last night. I'm not going to lie, you are quite possibly the nicest person I have ever met, and you seriously have the best arse out of any guy in the world…"

All this to tell me I have a nice backside!?"

"…but I can't do it because of said problems."

I think now would be a good time for me to say something;

"Astrid…" I start, leaning forward towards her, "…the world isn't split into having problems and not, sometimes it's the imperfections you may have which makes you perfect in the eyes of another."

Now I can add 'philosopher' to my résumé.

Astrid snorts, "you say that like you don't have any issues yourself. Don't say otherwise you said it last night that you, that we weren't ready for this." Then looks down at her knees.

"You're right. I do have problems, something I think we should both consider telling each other what the main stopping factor was ok? Not our whole life story, but at least get a feel for what's eating the other."

Astrid snorts again, "Look at us, known each other for less than a day and already spilling our hearts out to each other. Ruff would have a field day."

I smile before nervously scratching the back of my neck, "I have always uh, thought that a relationship is built upon three things; Love, communication, and trust. Each one can be viewed as - if you'll pardon the metaphor - a game of tug of war, if one person starts slipping over the line it's not because their opponent is too strong, it is because they're not pulling hard enough themselves."

I let a brief pause take place, to let Astrid take it in. Wouldn't it be opportune to be walked in on at the minute?

"I'd like to hope that love would come easily between us, if we so chose to let it, and as with the other two, talking about it would kill two birds with one stone; communication through talking, and trust through being able to trust the other with our secrets, with the lies we've been living."

Astrid finally looks up, and I can see the gears turning in her head.

"If you don't mind then Howard, I'd like to go first."

LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF

So the Valkyrie has more than a few chinks in her armour, and Hiccup is willing to dive back to his past to help make sure his future is torment free. I guess I'll see you next week.

Thanks for reading! You're all awesome!