He was silent on the plane ride home, staring out the window watching the clouds fly by as his husband checked something out in a magazine. He didn't understand how Luke could read at a time like this. He felt like everything was going wrong, and that he was the cause of it. Maybe he needed to thwart the search. It wasn't like they could get any information anyway.. Meeting the grandparents had been a bust. They were stuffy snobby people and Noah found he didn't want anything to do with them anyway. Despite Luke's reassurance he was wondering if he really deserved to find out where he came from.
"So when do you want to go to Chicago?" Luke's voice brought him out of his thoughts and he turned to face his husband. There was a seriousness in those brown eyes that caught Noah off guard and he knew that Luke noticed it. "You do want to go to Chicago right?" he asked, frowning.
Noah shook his head, as he tried to make sense of Luke's questions. Why would they go to Chicago if they weren't able to get the information about the orphanage that handled his mom's adoption? "I don't think we have a reason to go to Chicago, Luke. My so-called grandparents nipped that plan right in the bud. I should just forget it anyway. I don't need another family. I have you, and that's enough."
He was certain that Luke believed him. Especially after Luke turned his attention back to his reading. He knew his husband meant well, but he just didn't want to continue with this if it meant more heartache. He didn't know how much of that he could take. On the other hand it made him sad. He knew the history of the Mayer family. He knew he was the last in a long line of Mayers spanning back centuries. Most of them, if not all until him, had been in the military in some way shape or form. He knew the history, had studied it, memorized it and then tried to forget it as he realized none of them were men he wanted to emulate.
Still he knew the history, and now he had his Momma in his life, and he wanted to know her history as well. He wanted to know her side of the family, but he didn't think it would happen. It probably wasn't meant to be and he was just going to accept that. It wasn't as if he had any other choice. The Snyders were probably the closest thing he would ever have to family…and he was okay with that. He had to be.
"You shouldn't give up so easily, Noah." Luke's voice broke the silence again and Noah frowned. His husband was looking at him, but before he could say more, Charles let them know that they would be landing soon.
"It's not necessarily giving up," Noah said as they buckled their seatbelts. "It's more of a resigning myself to the fact that there's nothing I can do. I'm not supposed to find out anything, so that's okay."
"I guess I went through all that trouble for nothing then," Luke mumbled as he put his magazine in his messenger bag.
"What are you talking about? " Noah asked curiously as he watched his husband fiddle with buckles on his bag. "Luke, talk to me."
"Oh nothing," Luke said shrugging it off. They were silent for a time until the plane touched the ground. Luke shouldered his bag and held out his hand for Noah. "Are you ready?"
"Not until you tell me what you did?"
Luke let his hand fall to his side and he smiled. "Oh, I only endured an excruciating ten minutes with your grandparents before you woke up this morning."
"What, why?" Noah sputtered not sure he understood why his husband would do such a thing.
"Because," Luke said pulling the sheet of paper out of his pocket, "I love you." He kissed Noah softly and relinquished the paper to him before leaving his side.
Noah watched his husband walk away and shook his head. He was sure that he would never fully understand that man, but he loved him nonetheless. He looked down at the paper Luke had given him and a smile crossed his lips followed by tears. It was the name and address of the orphanage his Momma had been born in. He truly did have the best husband in the world.
The glass was cool against his face as he leaned against the window. The bus moved slowly through the streets of Illinois, stopping everywhere to pick up passengers and drop them off. Noah was beginning to second guess his decision to take the bus. He was already nervous enough about doing this without Luke. Yet Luke had insisted he couldn't put it off…that he should go without him, and see what he could find out. Noah sighed as he recalled the conversation he had had with his husband about this. He wouldn't fly without Luke, he had been adamant about that. And taking the car was out of the question. He still to this very day wasn't comfortable behind the wheel, and certainly he would not attempt it without Luke by his side.
They had decided on the bus, because this way Luke could call and check on him and vice versa. Even though Noah was just supposed to be gone overnight they had a hard time saying good bye. And now he was thinking about Luke, wondering what he was doing at that very moment. He knew his husband was with the kids while Holden was out of town. The plan had been to make a day trip to Chicago, they were all going to go; Him, Luke, the girls and little Ethan. A way to keep them preoccupied so they wouldn't miss their father, or think about the fact that their mother once again bailed on them. It had been the plan, but then Ethan fell sick.
The sound of the phone interrupted his thoughts and he reached in his pocket and brought the receiver to his ear. "Hi Love."
"Hey," Luke's tired voice met his ears and he wished once more that he was back there with him. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm really sorry I couldn't come with you, Noah."
"Ethan needs you more than I do right now. Give the little guy a kiss for me. How's he doing?"
"He's got the sniffles and his throat hurts a lot," Luke related even as he shook his head in answer to a question from Natalie. Faith is being a chatterbox on the telephone and Nat is coloring for a moment. Ethan is taking a nap, finally."
Noah smiled. "It sounds like you have your hands full there. I miss you though."
"I miss you too," He could tell that Luke was smiling. "I love you, Noah. Be safe and good luck at the orphanage."
"Thanks…and I love you too. Bye." He hung up the phone and slipped it into his bag. The bus was finally pulling into the station in Chicago, and he wanted to make sure he had the address to the orphanage. He pulled the paper out of his bag and unfolded it as he stood to get off the bus. Luke had already arranged for a car to take Noah wherever he wanted to go during the day, and he was going to stay with Will and Gwen for the night.
"Where do you wish to go first, Mr. Snyder-Mayer," The driver asked as Noah slipped into the back seat.
"Please call me Noah, sir. I need to go to this address please."
"Please call me Sam, Noah," The driver said taking the paper to review the address. "I was ordered by your partner to take very good care of you. I have to make sure I do my job."
"Luke told you about us?" Noah asked, only realizing how silly that sounded when Sam started to chuckle.
"I'll tell you a secret, son. I have known your husband for a lot of years, through his grandmother mostly. He was a very talkative little guy. Is he still the same way?"
"Yes," Noah laughed. "He is very good with words I think. And he can charm the pants off of anyone if given the chance." Samuel laughed again, and Noah settled back in his chair with a smile. He figured he should have known Luke would find some way to take care of him since he couldn't do it himself. Sam entertained him with stories and antidotes for the entire ride.
"We're here, Noah," Sam said as he pulled up in front of a huge rundown house. "It doesn't look too pretty from the outside, but this orphanage has been around for many years. They take really good care of the kids who don't have families."
"Thanks, Sam," Noah said getting out of the car. "I will try not to be too long, I promise."
"Take your time, Noah. I have all day." And with that Sam pulled a newspaper out of his satchel and started to read it. Noah smiled and shook his head. Sam was quite the character. He couldn't wait to talk to Luke and thank him for sending him. He stood in front of the large brown door for a few minutes, trying to figure out what he would say when the door was answered. He was still pondering, and was just about to knock when the door was opened by a matronly looking woman dressed in soft browns colors. Her hair was neat and tied in a bun at the nape of her neck and her expression was unreadable.
"How may I help you, young man?"
"UH," Noah said trying to find his voice. "I would like to see Ms. Barbara Grayson please."
"Follow me." The woman turned without another word and Noah followed behind her. He shivered as he walked through the halls, and he wasn't sure if that was from the cold or just the fear of what he was about to do. Whatever the case, soon he found himself standing in front of an open office. The woman inside looked much nicer then the woman who had brought him in. He knocked on the door and waited to see if Ms. Grayson would notice that he was there.
"Can I help you? Come in come in I won't bite I promise. Thank you Lynn; I'll let you know if I need anything further."
Noah watched the tall woman nod and leave before making his way into the office. Shyly he took a seat and folded his hands on his lap. "Thank you, ma'am for seeing me. I'm Noah Snyder-Mayer and I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about a personal matter."
"I think I would remember a handsome young man like you if you had been in my care, so you didn't grow up here. Ask away and I will certainly see what I can do to help you."
Noah blushed and ducked his head momentarily under the praise. "Uh, thank you Ma'am. I…I actually wanted to inquire about my mother's adoption. She was adopted as a baby from this orphanage and I have been trying to find her birth parents. I was hoping that maybe you could help me with that."
Up until that point Ms. Grayson had been smiling, and Noah thought she looked like one of the starlets from the old movies. Her expression changed though when he finished his story and she now wore a thoughtful frown. It was bordering on sad and it made Noah's heart drop.
"Noah," she said finally," I'm not sure I am going to be much help to you. Most of the records from anyone old enough to be your mother are most likely sealed to protect the biological parents. There is the possibility that the biological parents have taken advantage of some recent law changes to allow the records to be unsealed if the child is looking to find them, but even so, I wouldn't be able to release that information unless your mother requests it."
"You mean there's nothing you can do?" Noah asked frowning. His phone rang before he could protest further and he excused himself to take the phone call. "Hello," He said leaning his head against the wall.
"You don't sound too good," Luke's worried voice met his ears. "Are you okay? Is Sam treating you right?"
"Yes, baby, Sam is great. But I have bad news about the orphanage."
"Oh no, what happened." Luke asked as he placed a cool cloth against Ethan's head.
"Ms Grayson said that the records for my mother are probably sealed. And even if they aren't Momma would have to request them. It's hopeless Luke; I'm never going to find out anything."
"Don't give up Noah; I'm sure we will figure out something. Hold on for a second I will be right back."
"But Luke," Noah said to the dead air. He sighed and waited patiently for his husband to come back to the phone. It was a few minutes later when he could hear Ethan screaming in the background again.
"Noah, it's all taken care of. Go finish talking to Ms. Grayson and I will talk to you later. Love you, bye."
"Luke wait," he sighed when he heard the dial tone. He closed his phone and returned to the office. "Sorry about that," he said to Ms. Grayson. "That was my…my husband checking up on me. Now where were we?"
"Well let's start with you telling me who your mother's adoptive parents are and we will go from there."
Noah blinked, taken aback by the sudden change in attitude, but then he smiled as he thought of Luke's words. He loved his husband. "Their names are Howard and Catherine Martin of Tennessee."
Give me a few minutes here Noah. Let me see what I can find out." Noah watched patiently as she looked through some folders and tinkered with her computer for a few minutes. It seemed like forever before she found what she was looking for and she excused herself to make a phone call.
Noah couldn't help but hold his breath as he waited. He could hardly believe that somehow someway he was going to get the answers he wanted. At least he hoped that was the case. Luke had said everything had been taken care of, whatever that was supposed to mean. He had no doubt that his husband had pulled some strings, and he was already trying to figure out how to reward his mate when he saw him again. More than anything he just wanted to be able to take Luke into his arms and kiss him senseless.
The sound of the door brought him out of his thoughts and he turned to see Ms. Grayson smiling at him. He stood and she handed him a folded piece of paper. "This is the only piece of information I could get for you Noah. It's your maternal grandmother's name. That's all the information I am able to release. It will have to be enough."
Noah startled them both by pulling her into a hug. "Thank you so much, Ms. Grayson. I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to me. When I get home I am going to see what my husband and I can do to help the orphanage. Thank you so much." He took a hold of her hands and kissed them before turning to leave the room.
He was still smiling when he reached the car where Sam was waiting for him. "Well don't you look happy," he remarked as Noah climbed in. "I have been ordered to drive you around Chicago for a while before I take you to your friends' home. Luke wants you to have a good time here in the windy city so just sit back, and I will tell you some stories that will make you smile."
While he listened to Sam talk Noah decided to take a look at the paper. His smile was bright as he unfolded it carefully, as if its contents were gold. To Noah it may as well have been a treasure. This single slip of paper would tell him who his momma's birth mother was. He was holding the key to finding his past, and it was close…he could just feel it. He looked down at the paper and read the name, and ever so slowly his eyes widened and his smile turned into a frown.