Chapter 11

"Is this your first time, baby? That's fucking hot. I'll make a woman out of you…"

Idiot. Lydea wasn't going to think about him ever again. She was standing under the shower, letting water to wash it all away. She always bathed after sex, mostly because of Niky. It was easier for him if she was clean. His possessive nature didn't want to share her. Now she hadn't even thought about Niky, she just needed to wash herself. She had already rubbed every part of her body, but it hadn't really helped. What was wrong with her? She had felt a little strange for couple of days, but she had thought that it was because of the full moon.

This had been her first heat after becoming a hybrid. The experience hadn't been pleasant. The guy had been an idiot, but she hadn't had time to look for anyone better. She had needed to mate. She would have liked to use Stefan, he would have probably been more tolerable, but unfortunately he was Niky's gift for Rebekah. Lydea had never had a friendly relationship with her sister and the reason for that was actually very simple. Niky. Lydea was aware that Niky had a soft spot for their sister who had always craved for his attention.

Rebekah has had Niky's full attention before Lydea had come along. That was something Rebekah had never forgiven her. Deep down Rebekah was a very insecure little girl and the thought of someone like Lydea taking her place… It had never sat well with her. The truth was that Lydea hadn't tried to take anyone's place; she had only tried her best to survive. Her wolf's instincts had guided her ever since she had been a child and those instincts had told her to seek for a protection of a stronger wolf. An alpha wolf.

What choice had she had when her own mother had despised her? It hadn't been Lydea's fault that Esther has had sex with her father. She hadn't asked to be born. Yet she had and she wasn't going to apologize for it, not anymore. She had felt the need to apologize for her very existence when she had been a child and she had built a very strong wall around herself. Niky was the only person who had ever seen behind that wall, he was the only one who had seen that Lydea had feelings, just like anyone else. Maybe she kept her thoughts and feelings to herself, but she still had them.

Right now she couldn't understand what she was feeling. For some incomprehensible reason, tears were coursing down her cheeks. What was wrong with her? Slowly she sat down under the shower and let herself cry silently. The last thing she wanted was Stefan to hear her. Obviously she had her own room and bathroom in their hotel suite and she could hear that the TV was on in Stefan's room, but she wasn't going to take any chances. She wasn't going to look weak in front of Rebekah's boyfriend. Just the thought of anyone seeing her like this… Lydea couldn't imagine anything worse.

She couldn't remember the last time she would have cried and she couldn't understand why she was crying now. Everything was finally like it was supposed to be, she and Niky were hybrids now and soon they would create more of their kind. It was what Niky wanted, to create an army against Mikael. To be a king. Lydea didn't crave for that kind of power; she had never forced anyone to follow her, just like she had never forced anyone to mate with her. She didn't need anyone's flattering or fake loyalty.

That certainly didn't mean that she would have tolerated any disrespectful behavior from anyone except her siblings. Kol was what he was, his words didn't offend Lydea. Underneath his shell, he was just as insecure as Rebekah and Lydea had always been an easy target for him to pick on. It didn't bother Lydea, it never had. In a way she felt that her and Kol had something in common, they both felt rejected and had found a way to hide themselves from everyone.

Rebekah on the other hand… Her behavior didn't really bother Lydea either, although she had to admit that the vicious part of her sometimes took pleasure of purposely aggravating her sister. She would have never shown any weakness in front of Rebekah. Lydea closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her, trying her best to stop crying. Fortunately she succeeded. Everything was just fine…

"Dea?"

Niky's voice behind the door startled her.

"Yes?"

Thankfully she managed to sound normal enough.

"Is everything alright? You've been there for a long while."

Lydea had no idea how long she had sat under the shower and she had been too occupied to notice that Niky had returned to the suite.

"Yes… Yes, everything is fine. I'll be right there."

He didn't reply to that, she stood up as quickly as she could. She couldn't let him see her like this; he would demand to know why she had been crying. She didn't have an answer to that and she really didn't want to talk about the whole thing. Not to mention he had enough on his mind already, she didn't want him to worry about her.

She was just about to turn the shower off when she smelled it. Blood. What… She had bled a little during sex, but she had thought that it had been because she and the guy had both been rough. That had been the reason why the idiot had thought that she had been a virgin. She looked down and saw blood running down her legs. How was that possible, she should have definitely healed by now? What was this…?

"Dea," Niky's demanding voice said. "Open the door."

No, no, no… She needed to hide this, somehow she just knew that.

"Just a moment…"

"Open the door, little wolf. Right now."