I didn't abandon this story don't worry! I'm sorry I kept everyone waiting so long! My life literally took a turn for the worse since writing the last chapter. Everything bad seemed to happen to me all at once. My school royally screwed me over twice and I was so close to having to drop out AND my roommate was making my life a living hell so I was so close to having to move AND I had a little bit of an existential crisis about my education but hey. Anyway, most of this is behind me so I can write now! I feel bad keeping y'all waiting so long! I would have posted earlier if things didn't happen. But there's only a few more chapters left so I will try to the best of my ability to get them to you in a timely manner.
Beware of a smidgeeee of mature content and language in this chapter. Nothing too bad, just a wee bit of material.
Oh, and p.s: this is the chapter where things happen
Chapter 11
Slowly, the door to Astrid's new room creaked open. In the dim hours of the morning no excess light poured in at all. Slowly, the door inched open more and more, the rusty hinges on it making an all too familiar sound. Silently, a small figure entered and closed the door as quietly and slowly as it had been opened.
"Dearie," the soft, female voice said. "It's time to- oh!" The voice stopped short when it noticed Astrid sitting on the still made bed staring at the side window.
"Have you ever noticed," Astrid began, not moving her gaze from the blue light outside. "That everyone talks about the silver light of the moon or the golden light of the sun. But no one ever talks about the crystal blue light in between. When the sun hasn't risen but the moon hasn't set. When everything is just... nothing. No one ever talks about that."
"Oh, well... I guess you're right dearie. Couldn't sleep could we? You must be thrilled about the big day!" A small, feminine figure came into view when she stepped further into the room. This woman was awfully petite and walked with a slight hunch- a hunch that years of working would give a person. Her long, braided, brown hair was beginning to grey and her face was craved with wrinkles. On her she wore a simple yet well-worn brown frock and apron. This woman gave off a very homely and motherly aura. Her demeanor was bright and cheery, a demeanor that highly contrasted that of Astrid's. But despite her happiness she seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. She appeared to have lived a long, burdened life. It reflected in her very being.
Astrid shifted her gaze to the women and was surprised to see someone who appeared so aged still working. She figured Alvin had sent one of his servants to prepare her for the wedding. Alvin wasn't a man of tradition so she assumed it would be very quick. The quicker she was remarried the quicker she could save her ex-husband.
"Excited, yeah. Sure." Astrid responded before getting off the bed.
"Have you even slept a wink?" The woman asked.
"No." was Astrid's weak reply.
"You must be awfully tired! Don't fall asleep before you can consummate your marriage!" The women added a little pep to her voice but Astrid didn't react.
"Okay. Lets just get on with it. What are we doing?"
"What are we doing? No one ever taught you? You never looked forward to this day your whole life? Imaging what every last detail of your perfect day would look like? Why, when I got married I could hardly breathe I was so excited! It was my fairytale day just like I'd imagined."
"Yeah, fairytale."
"My perfect dress, my perfect bride crown, the perfect ceremony. And the perfect husband. I never thought that Cory would settle. You know, with the brining different women in every night sort of thing. But a future chief needs future heirs, you know!"
"Just do what you have to do, miss-"
"How did you meet him? Cory I mean? And how'd you fall in love?" To this, Astrid didn't respond and just remained quiet. The women finally got the hint. "Oh, unless you don't want to marry him."
"Right."
"Oh, lass. I'm so sorry. Arranged marriages aren't at all good."
"It's not arranged it's... it's... complicated."
"We're not happy, no?"
"No, we're not." The woman gained a sudden flash of empathy in her eyes and her mood turned slightly more somber. She looked like she was bursting with a story that needed to be told but she kept it to herself.
"Then, we'll skip over the bath and the other rituals and just go right to dressing you. I have this dress here Alvin requested you wear and your choice of bride crown. Just let me fetch them for you..."
"Miss." Astrid suddenly interrupted. "Miss...?"
"Ragna. Call me Ragna, dearie."
"Have you ever been married, Ragna? More than once?" Suddenly, the elderly maid's face dropped and seamed to break. The story was beginning to flow.
"No, my dear. But I've lost my husband. Is that what's happened to you?"
"How did you lose him?"
"Well," Ragna took a seat on the bed. "It's kind of a long, depressing story. No good for a wedding day."
"No, please. If you're up to telling me I'd like to hear." Ragna took in a deep, shuttering breath. Her story haunted her everyday but never before had she told a living soul.
"Okay, dearie. For you." Ragna bade Astrid come sit next to her and she followed easily. The aged maid placed a hand slightly on Astrid's and breathed a few times before speaking.
"It was one winter, a very devastating one. The entire village was wiped out top to bottom. We... lost a lot of people that year. My family was lucky enough to have survived. My husband and our two young boys. One of them but a babe. We lived but… we couldn't live in the village anymore. We decided to go out in search of refuge like other families had. No one stayed in the village. We headed toward Berk. They weren't hit as hard and they offered to take in any survivors- granted if they wanted to deal with the dragon issue. But that seemed like mere child's play in comparison to our pains.
"We headed out on our own. Just the four of us against the world. Berk wasn't far away so we didn't take much. Just a small boat and some provisions. I guess... somewhere along the way we made a wrong turn. Or the current took us another way. We didn't know it then but we ended up right on the shores of this very island. My husband- gods be with him, tried to find out where we were but..." Ragna stopped short, a few tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Astrid didn't say a word, just merely grabbed her hand in support and gave her the unspoken encouragement she needed to go on.
"Alvin got to us. When he heard we were on our way to Berk, a nation he hated, he... he took my husband. Right in front of me. He just- so easily. And my sons. He took them all. Ripped the babe from my arms. Oh how he wailed for me. And cried for his mummy. Oh- gods, my boys!" Ragna ever so gracefully placed her hand to her mouth and let her tears fall-tears that welled up for ages but were never ready until this moment. Astrid turned to her, empathy in her eyes.
"Ragna, I'm so sorry."
"It's been years, dearie. Long before you were even close to being born. Maybe when your very parents were your own age." Ragna placed her hand back to where it was before and collected herself remarkably well.
"How did you go on? How do you go on after losing them?" Astrid asked, careful to tread lightly.
"I didn't. I don't. Astrid, dearie, I pray for death everyday. I know my husband and my boys are up there, in Valhalla, just waiting for the day their mummy returns to them. I have never gone on. You can't return. You give away so much of yourself to someone else and when they're gone they take it with them. Now there's no more of you left to give to even yourself. Have you lost someone you love?"
"I... yes." Was Astrid's only reply.
"I'm sorry. Truly I am. But the only thing we can do is-"
"Move on?"
"Aye. I can't bring them back even if I wish to. And I can't go to see them until it's my time. Or else... well dearie- it's a sin."
"I... my ex-husband..." If this strong willed woman could confide in Astrid than she could do the same. After all, she was going to be seeing a lot of her. Astrid's stomach turned and tensed, more than it ever had before, but she just pushed past. She needed to tell her story.
"I love him. With all my being. He has me. And my life, just like you said. He got really sick. Alvin poisoned him. And he's dying. Or he's probably dead by now. I don't know. I need to save him, somehow. I couldn't just let him die. Or let me die with him. So I heard about this gem you have here, that heals the sick-
"Iceland spar," Ragna interrupted. "Aye. But don't let the rumors get to you. It can only heal certain common poisons. It gained a reputation as a... hail Thor sort of miracle but it's not true. It just reverses poison effects. If you were like my husband... nothing could save you then."
"It could heal him. And I need it. So I came here and..."
"I see." Ragna interrupted again. She could sense Astrid's discomfort and didn't want to scare the poor girl.
"I just need him alive." Astrid near whispered. She felt her insides turning but pushed it out of her mind. Today of all days she couldn't get sick.
"I understand. I do. If there was any way I could have them back... it's better to have them alive and you not with them. At least you have hope of one day returning to him. I... can only hope for death."
The two women remained silent as they stared at each other. These were two women who had the world collapse around them. They were finding comfort in each other. One was picking up the pieces from the other. Maybe if Astrid had to stay here, it wouldn't be that bad.
"Come along, dearie." Ragna said, breaking the silence. She placed her hand on Astrid's shoulder and stood up. "Time to get you dressed. I was going to give you the bride crown with the light flowers and vines on it I think I'll go with the gaudy diamonds instead. Anything to distract the spectators, no?"
"Yes, please." Astrid said getting up. The motion of standing was almost enough to knock her back down again. She leaned and clutched her stomach. It felt as though she had just been kicked from the inside. She tried to make the action hardly noticeable but Ragna saw. She brushed it off with a slight smile, however, and went to retrieve the dress.
Ragna only popped out of the door and quickly returned with an elegant white dress. It was made of the finest fabrics and decorated to the nines. It seemed rather small, hopefully not too small for Astrid. It glimmered as it moved- it's jewels and crystals that were imbedded in it catching the eye at every angle. The sleeves were long and opened up resulting in a very flowing feel. The color was a striking and stark white, almost like a cloud. The dress was fit for a goddess to wear. Astrid could hardly believe something so beautiful had its home on Outcast Island.
The dress was accompanied by a crown of extreme quality. It was rimmed with shining diamonds and specks of gold and silver. In the center, flanked by two smaller diamonds, was a large, transparent diamond shape that polarized light resulting in multiple rays beaming from it. It was nearly see through, almost looking like a block of ice. It was the centerpiece of an exquisite crown. Astrid could hardly believe such a diamond existed.
"Well, dearie. Lets get you in, shall we?" Ragna placed the dress and crown on the bed as Astrid began to take off her layers. First her messy braid came lose and she ran her fingers through her hair in a failed attempt to straighten it. Next, her fur shawl and shoulder armor. After that the matching cuffs that flanked her arms. Ragna aided her and began to remove her vaguely striped red shirt. However, she found it difficult due to how tightly it hugged her body.
"Bit tight, eh?" Ragna asked.
"I guess," was Astrid's strained reply as she too contorted herself to try and wiggle out. "I haven't been paying much attention lately."
"Well, I'll get you some new clothes for after the wedding then." With much difficulty, the shirt was eventually removed along with the rest of Astrid's attire. Ragna began to put the dress on her but found she had just as much difficulty as she did with the shirt. But nevertheless, the dress went on. Astrid tugged at the tight fitting attire but gave up on making herself comfortable. From here on out, she would never be comfortable again.
Ragna quickly placed the crown on top of Astrid's head and adjusted it accordingly. She took a step back and audibly gasped.
"My dear," she breathed out. "You're stunning."
"Is it supposed to be this tight?" Astrid asked. Ragna laughed in response.
"Beauty is pain, dearie. You'll only have to wear this dress once in your life.
"I said that the first time I got married. Now look at me." The room fell silent at the remark. Ragna, in an attempt to cheer her up, walked over to her and took her hand in hers.
"Well lets look at you, shall we?" Ragna led her over to the mirror standing in the corner. It was a tall shard of glass in a wooden frame- tall enough so the you could see your entire being reflected back at you.
"Close your eyes, it'll be a surprise." Astrid obeyed and allowed herself to be led to the mirror. Once there Ragna steadied her, placing a hand on her back and torso for support. She fluffed out of the flowing dress and straightened the crown once more before speaking.
"One... two... three!" At the end of this count Astrid opened her eyes. Before her, all she saw was a glittering sea of white. The light beaming off of her was almost blinding. Never before had she seen anything so white and so bright. She looked at the dress. It was beautiful. Perhaps too beautiful for a human to wear. The sleeves flowed almost to the floor where the train flowed to the back as well. All around shiny bits of crystals were imbedded and reflected. Astrid followed them up, then observing the squared off top. Unfortunately, the one flaw of the dress was that the top was tight. It was a tad constricting, showing a little more of her abnormally larger chest than she wanted. Had it always appeared like this or was the dress morphing her very body? Regardless, she paid it no mind. She eyed the dress up and down, moving the fabric to watch how it glistened. It was gorgeous. Like something out of a dream.
But then she looked up and, for the first time, Astrid saw herself. Her face was riddled with worry, despair, tear streaks, and sadness. Her eyes were circled with a ring of blue and purple. It popped against the white of the dress and contrasted greatly. Her hair, although lightly styled to hold the crown, was nappy and wild. Astrid was taken back by how like a corpse she appeared. Then she eyed her dress again. For the first time she saw herself in the dress. The white dress. White to represent innocence and purity. To symbolize new and happy beginnings. White, like the white light you see when you die.
This was enough to drive Astrid over the edge. Her face contorted with pain- emotional and physical- while her stomach flipped and jumped.
"I'm going to be sick." She stated. And righty so as she soon found herself hugging a nearby bucket intended to be used to wash her. She let go of all she was holding in and began sobbing somewhere in the process. She couldn't tell where the sick ended and the choking cries began.
Ragna rushed to her aid, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words. She brought her up when she seemed she was finished and allowed her to collapse in her lap. While she cried, Ragna stroked her hair- the crown falling out while she did it.
"Oh, now we can't have that beautiful crown fall off that head of yours." Ragna said as she placed it back in, more securely this time.
"What's the point?" Astrid said, her voice horse and strained.
"Now, now, that's no way to think."
"You wish for death! How can you tell me that's no way to think?"
"Because all I love was ripped from me."
"Oh and you don't think I suffer the same?"
"You've got someone to live for dearie."
"Who, you?" Astrid asked more bitterly than she'd intended. She regretted her choice of words but Ragna wasn't phased by them at all. She simply brought a hand to Astrid's torso and smiled a motherly smile.
"This one." She whispered.
"Me?" Astrid asked, drying her eyes and looking up.
"No, no, dearie. Well, yes, but no."
"I don't get it."
"I suspected when I saw you first. Then I saw you when you changed and it only confirmed. I had two boys myself I know it when I see it." Sudden realization passed over Astrid's face. She turned a shade of white that almost matched the dress. However, she was not glowing.
"No." Ragna only nodded in return.
"No. I'm not... there's no way..." Astrid gasped.
"What, you never..." Ragna started but Astrid know where she was finishing.
"Oh, Gods, of course I did.. we did.. but... no. I can't be.. I'm...?"
"Congrats, mummy." Ragna slightly patted Astrid's midsection and she jerked back very lightly, covering it protectively with her arms.
"I'm..." She had trouble spitting out the word but with a great effort she did. "Pregnant?"
"Aye," Ragna laughed quietly. "How long have you gone without?"
"Two months," Astrid responded surely. "I just never noticed, I thought it was because I was finally regularly... you know. I was married. I thought maybe that had some effect on me. But I was just... pregnant the whole time?"
"Yes, you were." Ragna smiled. Astrid just took it all in. Oh how this was changing things. She was going to have a baby. After all this. A part of her was giddy with the news but then she remembered-
They would be growing up fatherless. For all she knew Hiccup could have already died. He was in such a bad condition when she left that he could have died just then. If only she had known she would have fought harder and never, ever have agreed to marry Cory. She would willingly give up her life but her child's? Hiccup's child's? That just wasn't fair. It wasn't only her life anymore. For the next seven months it wasn't even only her body either. No innocent child should ever have to endure anything less than a painless life. The life Astrid chose for herself wasn't the life she wanted for her child. If she'd have known she would have gone in, dragons and weapons blazing, and taken all the spar she could have. She was just so desperate and so pleading that she gave in. Now she had another life to fight for and that gave her the energy she needed. Hiccup was dying- or already dead, but she would have his heir. She had that power.
"The wedding is off," Astrid stated with a steady and loud voice. "Tell Alvin to eat dragon-shit for all I care." Astrid made her way to the window and looked out. There she spotted her dragon, Stormfly, bound and caged as she'd been last night. She strongly sensed her riders presence and perked up. She understood with no question the order Astrid was giving with her eyes- escape.
While a commotion was going on down below, one was starting above. Ragna was pleading with Astrid to rethink and stop what she was doing but it fell on deaf ears. Even the stones were tuning into Astrid and listening to her every move. She ripped tears in her dress to accommodate her movement. She tried to throw the crown on the floor but it was tangled in her hair. She didn't care or pay no mind- the crown wasn't worth her time. She began to gather up her belongings and head for the door. But as she was about to triumphantly exit she ran into a large figure that stopped her in her tracks.
Alvin the Treacherous stood before her, looming over her and casting a dark shadow.
"'Ello, lass. Where do ya think ya going?" He spat. In his hands he held a mighty ax, one that overshadowed Astrid's.
"Away." She replied strongly, matching his gaze and stance.
"Leaving my son at the alter, are ya?"
"Yes. Now move." She tried to push past him but he held her back.
"I don't think so, missy. We had a deal."
"You poisoned him!" She shouted. If Alvin didn't have his ax she would have taken hers to him.
"Ah, so ya found out. Guess ya were bound to sooner or later."
"You used me to get what you wanted. You had this all planned out. But there's one thing you didn't take into account, Alvin. Me."
"Is that so?"
"I'm pregnant. I lied to you. Inside me grows the heir of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third who by all accounts will grow up to be just as his father. And you better believe I'm raising him to hate you!" Alvin seemed un-phased by the news as if he had already figured it out. He merely exhaled through his nose as a sort of laugh.
"Hiccup will die." Was all he said.
"Maybe he will. But his heir won't. If there's any way he's going to live on," Astrid rested her hand on her developing child. Maybe their hand was reaching out to hold hers too. "This is how."
"Well," Alvin contemplated. "I guess then I'll just have to kill ya both." Alvin raised his ax and in a flash, Astrid was on the ground.
She didn't have time to register anything. She didn't know what happened. A slight pain was beginning to creep up her sides. She felt hot-burning hot. She heard a commotion behind her and the roar of a dragon. Time itself seemed to stop all together. Her vision went as white as her dress. A dress now stained with blood. Astrid gripped the fabric in her hands and took it in. At least now maybe she could join Hiccup and be a family. If that was the case why wasn't she there now? What was taking so long?
Astrid finally came to her senses when she heard the agonizing cry of a women. The shrill sound snapped her back into reality. She was sitting upright on the floor in a pool of crimson blood circling her feet. If there was blood why wasn't she hurting? She noticed that quickly she didn't feel any pain besides the aftermath of an impact.
Then she look up and she saw it. She saw Alvin first, a slight look of worry and regret in his eyes. He was frozen, weaponless and staring at a spot on the floor. He appeared to be processing what he just saw. That and he was being held frozen by a very vicious Stormfly who bared her teeth and spikes. How she got in the room Astrid will never know but the hole in the stone wall will never forget.
Astrid followed Alvin's frozen gaze down and really saw it now. The source of the blood and shrill sounding cry. Ragna lay there, clutching her torso, and spilling out all she had carried with her for many painful years.
Astrid slowly crawled toward her and took her in her lap as she had done to her before. It was a gruesome sight. Ragna lay open and wounded in the clutches of Astrid. She breathed in shallow breaths as she tried to clasp on to life itself. Astrid understood what had happened as she whispered nothings to Ragna. She understood completely and it consumed her. Gratefulness and guilt racked her body and her shivering breath matched that of Ragna's.
"Shh," Astrid told her. "Thank you. Thank you," Astrid remembered solemnly. "But you can go now."
"You'll... be..." Ragna struggled to get out.
"I'll be okay, don't worry about me. I've got it. You can go."
"Really?" Astrid couldn't help but smile despite the situation.
"Really." Astrid replied. Ragna took in a deep, shuttering breath and exhaled one more.
"Geir? Vider? Sigurd? Mummy's coming. Mummy's..." she took in one last breath. "Home." Her face relaxed and what breath her body had left expelled itself. Her muscles that were once contorted in pain released themselves and it was in that moment she was truly gone.
Astrid smiled as a few tears ran down her cheeks. She continued to run her hand through Ragna's soft hair.
"Thank you," She whispered again. She placed her hand gently on her now cold face and muttered a meaningful prayer.
"There do I see my father, my mother, and my brothers and my sisters. They bid me take my place among them in the halls of Valhalla... where the brave shall live forever." *
She placed a soft kiss on the forehead of the maid. She finally appeared to be at peace despite her painful end. All the weight tensing her up released itself along with her soul. She was honestly and truly finally home.
Astrid merely held Ragna and took in her painless form. She couldn't help but think of Hiccup while she did. She had never seen him as relaxed as Ragna was now. He was always tense and always hurting. Especially now when he was in the worst pain of his life. She couldn't help but think it would all be gone when he took his final breath. That made her feel a little better about his now inevitable death. At least he wouldn't be hurting. Now she just had to hold him and tell him all she could before he was finally free.
With a final goodbye to Ragna, Astrid turned her attention to Alvin who watched the entire transaction happen before him.
"She came out of nowhere." He mumbled in awe.
"She was always there, Alvin. You might not have seen her but she was."
"Odin protect me."
"Odin isn't going to be of much help now. You killed her whole family. Her included now. If you know what's good for you I'd suggest you run." Alvin just stared at her blankly. Stormfly took this as her cue to reestablish her presence. She roared and bared her spikes once more. Alvin, in a state of unarm, had no choice but the flee the room. He slowly backed away, throwing a cursing glance at all who remained and quickly turned around to bolt out the door.
The scene that remained was one gruesome one. Things were starting to settle in and came to a haunting stasis. Astrid realized how close she had been to losing her own life and thus the life inside of her. She placed a hand on her baby once more and felt a pang of pain. This time she smiled instead of winced for she knew all was well. This baby was a fighter, just like their parents.
Stormfly seemed to pick up on her masters newly discovered state for she made her way over to sniff her midsection.
"That's gonna be our new baby, Stormfly." Astrid laughed as Stormfly affectionately nudged her. Astrid scratched behind her ears with both hands and placed her forehead on the scaly surface of her dragons.
Astrid and Stormfly remained that way for a period of time. They were seeking comfort and solace in each other- the first in a while since the events of a few days ago. Ever since then Astrid has been on the go- forgoing basic behaviors and rushing around. But now the two really had a moment to themselves. They realized suddenly how close they were to losing each other so they wanted to make sure they were never parted. But with a bond like there's, they never would be.
A sudden incursion of noise stirred them from their calm and brought them back to reality. Quite possibly Alvin had gone to arm himself or was bringing an army in hopes that Astrid was still there.
Astrid and Stormfly didn't waste much time trying to figure it out. Astrid instinctually climbed onto Stormfly's back and readied herself- tearing more parts of her dress off to allow for flight.
"C'mon girl." Astrid said. And with that, they were up in the air and headed toward home.
Astrid wasn't sure of how long it took them to get back to Berk. She was sure, however, that it was record time. Before she could even process it she was running through crowds of people gawking at her and commenting. None which she heard though. She was too focused on getting back home. She had to see Hiccup and had to be there to apologize. She had to tell him the news of their baby and had to let him know she was gonna be right there. She had to hold his hand and stroke his hair just as she had done to Ragna. She had to usher him with a prayer and let him know it's okay to go. She was going to be fine. Their child would live on and thrive. She had to do all of these things.
Astrid slammed open the door to her all too familiar house. How she got there was a blur but she knew she was there now. The atmosphere was dark and depressing- just as she left it. She stood in the threshold of the door and took a breath. Slowly, she made her way over to the familiar bedroom preparing to see a familiar sight.
But what she was greeted with was too unfamiliar.
What she saw before her was a heartbreaking and eerie sight.
For what she saw was an empty bed.
Oooooohhh! Cliffhanger! This is actually one of the better chapters I've written, I believe. In the time I took to actually bang it out I focused a lot more on my writing so I feel way more confident in this.
Anyway, I promise to never make you wait this long for an update again. A lot just happened to me all at once so I mentally just needed to get it together. The story is actually almost over too! I have about two chapters left, unless I decide to split it into more but I don't think I will. So there you have it! The much anticipated death (or deaths) was in this chapter. One down for sure and the other... well? You'll find out soon enough.
Thanks for sticking with me this long! I am so grateful for all of you and your support! If you want to throw it back… a nice little review would be much appreciated. :)
*I actually didn't write this prayer, I took it from Astrid's dialogue in an episode of the Netflix series Race to the Edge. Just a little disclaimer, haha.