SM64: I don't usually give away the ending; I hate when people do that. I love the way you write Kamek in A Day in Life. Here is so down to Earth and well, infinitely patient; sweet too. He wasn't doing quite as well when I last checked on him. He has just given up hope. Let's see how he is feeling today.
It was a bright and early Friday morning as Bowser Jr. and Sr. entered Kastle Koopa's own golf course.
"Son," Bowser said as he finished tee-ing up. "There are two rules to a perfect game. First, there are no rules. Second, don't ever touch my sand wedge."
Jr. looked at his father's unusual golf ball. "Is that a cue ball?"
"Hey! Who's the teacher here?"
"Sorry."
Bowser hit the ball perfectly, but it was too heavy and smashed a hole in the nearby greenhouse's wall. Larry Koopa swore.
It was Junior's duty to keep track of the results, so he opened King Koopa's guide to golfing to find the score list.
"King Dad? These instructions make no sense; the scores don't even have any numbers in them!"
Bowser scouted after his ball. "You can count? Let's not rub that in anybody's face." He took over the book, and Junior sat down on a rock to listen.
"These are the scores for people with brains, like us. "Cool beans" is eighty yards and up. "Cruisin'" is sixty to eighty. "Warming up" is forty to sixty, but everything below that is…"
"'Consarn this piece of crud' right?" Junior asked, wanting to recoil at the embarrassingly old lingo.
"Yes, it is. Because it's never a Koopa's fault if he loses. The same tenets go for amount of strikes." Bowser tried again, this time aiming for a "Cool beans". Instead he hit one of the ten exercising Hammer Bro's right in the mouth. "Perfect!"
"Ah mah 'Awd! Mah heeh! Mah huhin' heeh!"
"Your fault when you won't clean up this hellhole!" Bowser said nonchalantly.
"Uh, King Dad? I think he's dead." Junior got up from the rock.
"Ah, you're very lucky, son." Bowser pretended like he hadn't heard anything. "Everybody in our family has a thousand miles of green running through their veins. Or so my grandfather said; the senile old moron. His first golf course was a welcome mat and a Dixie cup."
Junior had read another important rule in King Koopa's golf book; to pretend that he was alone when it was his turn. He managed a Cruisin' without horribly maiming any innocent bystanders.
Their practice took them all around the course until all the holes, both natural and unnatural, each had a ball in them.
"OK; what's my score?" Bowser took a breather on Junior's rock. His son carefully inspected the cards.
"You have three Warming up's, four Cruisin's, and two Cool Beans all with a Cruisin' average."
"Any Consarn this piece of crud's?"
"Only one. You weren't supposed to use that Monty Mole for a ball."
What was it with this Koopa kid and rules? "And yours?
"Two Warming ups, five Cruisin's and two Cool Beans with a Cruisin' average."
In the meantime, the sun had set behind the perpetual heat lightning, and it was colder. Bowser was hungry and Junior about to fall asleep, so he was carried back to the castle.
"You did awesome today." Bowser put him down on the threshold and took his hand before entering the castle with lumbering steps. "I'm sure you'll be the youngest golfer to ever win the Toadstool Tournament. No pressure, of course."
"Of course not." Bowser Jr. yawned. "I'm hungry now. I want cookies."
His father rolled his eyes. "Always with the cookies."
Roy Koopa liked his life to be as quiet and uncomplicated as possible. He lived with his wife and two Koopalings far away from wars, military and darkness on a forgotten rock in Ireland. Roy loved Ireland for many reasons, but the ocean was definitely number one. He and his wife had built a home for their family with their bare claws from nothing more than rocks and driftwood. It was simple and by Koopa standards, very comfortable.
On rainy days Roy and Lynnie sat in front of the fire place, either talking or listening to the radio, and when the weather was nice, they took their children to the beach and bathed all day in the crystal blue waters of the Atlantic.
Kamek had been at "Castle Roy" for a week, but other than leaving his room in the morning to sit on the cliff with the view of the horizon, he did nothing. By this time Roy had realized that Kamek wasn't going to reveal his big secret, so he bestowed upon the wizard his greatest act of kindness and compassion.
"So," Roy sighed and sat down. "What's up your ass?"
Kamek was roused from his trance enough to tilt his head. It took him long to say anything, but he finally did after days of silence.
"You know, young Master Roy; I have followed the orders of both your father and your father's father; basically every self-absorbed, muscle-headed price bull who called themselves "King Koopa". I don't know why I've adopted being an underling and a sucker into my nature. I suppose it could be because obeying is easier than thinking, and it makes time go faster. However, sometimes I find it impossible…" Kamek added a bitter chuckle, "Not to sit down and think of all my sins."
"What kind of sins may those be?" Roy looked to the sky as Kamek waved his fist at it.
"Not too long from now, the Observatory will enter the Mushroom World's orbit."
"So what?"
Kamek groaned. "The Observatory is the home of my mother."
Roy raised his eyebrows all the way over the rim of his sunglasses. "Your mom is still alive? What is she; a million?"
The sorcerer ignored that one. "Roy, if you really want me to pour my heart out, then I implore you not to tell your father or anyone else."
"OK, OK; I swear I won't snitch on you."
The peace and quiet of the Irish coast had finally let the memory long lost to him return. Kamek closed his eyes and saw his sister wave at him in the distance.
The Goombas of Petalburg had prepared the little town for the first Star Festival. They had decorated all the houses with colorful paper flowers and lanterns floated in the air by themselves; inhabited a species Eudicot called "Pixls". They were at least the strangest creatures Kamek had ever seen; and he had a lot of nature's weirdoes since they built the town.
Clove came out of the house carrying another load of party favors. Their little son came stumbling after her, so diligent and happy.
"Kroop be careful," she warned. "I repeat. No falling in sand."
"OK, mom," Kroop said and ran off to play with the other little Koopas. He was an adorable Koopa boy with green scales and a shell that looked like one big emerald. He had inherited Kamek's light-sensitive eyes, but had no need for glasses as he had grown bushy, red eyebrows as a protection. Clove had named their son Kroop; although she couldn't really give him an answer why. In her mute mind it probably meant something beautiful.
Eudicot got up on the stairs of the Gemini Temple and said into a paper megaphone: "Hello! Has anyone seen my brother?"
Everybody, over four thousand people, turned to Kamek, who was sharing a kiss with his wife. When he noticed the stares, he immediately straightened up.
"Oh, I'm sorry. We both are. We didn't mean to display such lewdness in public." He blushed in shame; he wasn't the first person you'd expect to be kissing in a crowd. They were all silent for two seconds, and then they all started laughing; even Eudicot.
"Yes, that was just a taste, if you'll pardon my choice of words, of tonight's entertainment. You all give a hand to my dear Kamek; my brother."
When the applause had died down, Eudicot resumed her speech. "So everyone, enjoy this lovely evening. We have enough snacks and beverages for a small country, so knock yourselves out."
Kamek raised his finger, though. "Just remember to meet up here before midnight; when Star Breeze* arrives."
After knocking back the first three drinks everybody made a circle around the big fire. A fire wasn't particular to the Star Festival; this was how the ancestors of modern-day Petalburg celebrated every gathering. But never before had there been more guests than that evening. Those who knew their way around an instrument made the outer circle, while the rest gathered inside. All the children danced around the Magikoopas, who conjured fireworks, as well as amusing and beautiful costumes on them.
This is the time
This is the place
So we look for the future
There's not much love to go 'round
Tell me why this is the land of confusion!
Clove, who loved Real World – music came happily skipping toward her husband wearing a curly glitter wig. She took his hands. "Come here. Dance, dance!" She pulled him into the crowd and a dancing circle, where everybody joined hands. The movement was intoxicating, liberating… And beyond sorrow.
Suddenly a bright light, even brighter than that of the bonfire tore the night sky. It took time for everybody to realize this was not another firework display and stand still.
"What's going on?"
"Is that the Observatory?"
Something big, clawed and spiky landed in the fire, and sent burning debris over the crowd. The creature roared.
Although everybody else were stricken with fear, Eudicot's initial impression was that it was a fashionably late guest who had miscalculated his landing, however, Clove gasped and hid behind an overturned snack table. Kamek followed suit. "What is it? Do you know who that is?"
"Koopa!" She whimpered. "Evil Koopa. Clove throw coal in oven… all day."
Kamek's eyes widened in terror, and then his eyes fell on his sister, who walked up to the vicious fiend.
"Excuse me!" She tapped King Koopa's calf; the highest reachable point for her. "You're ruining our fire!"
Koopa stepped down. "So!" His booming voice rung over the square. "This is where you traitors are hiding. In senior prom paradise." He kicked over the beverage stand and lumbered over to the Gemini Temple, while Eudicot struggled.
"Traitors? They're not traitors, there our people."
Koopa held her up to his ugly face. "'Our people?' Ah, you must be one of the Gemini."
"How did you know?"
The monster flashed his teeth. "You didn't think I would come looking for property that's rightfully mine? I also came for you, and your Geminitems."
How King Koopa could have known about the Staff and the Oog Tar was a mystery to Eudicot. The law clearly forbade Petalburgers to speak of them outside the walls of the village.
"You can never grasp the Items, Koopa. They are powerful in ways beyond you and the slime that spawned you."
King Koopa was used to that kind of insults from those who resisted him. "I see. Well, then you give me no choice, Your Highness. ATTACK!"
Goombas. First Goombas, then the Troopas, and Shy Guys jumped, flew and broke through the wall. This time the festivalgoers did panic, but they didn't get far before they were surrounded.
"You said 'our people', little twinkle-twin." Koopa took down one of the bird cages from the temple's roof and trapped Eudicot within it. "Where is your brother?"
She spat him in the face. Koopa then turned to his troops. "Search for the Geminitems! Burn everything to the ground if you must! And find the other Star Child; the one in blue robes! In the meantime…"
He carried the cage, intent on taking her to his Airship. "I'll be clever and bait myself a nice trap."