Drowning Chapter Eleven

A/N A revelation…

"Ugh…" Kara groaned as she flopped face down onto her bed. Her body was still tingling from the kisses she'd shared with Cat, the sensations driving her a little bit crazy… but in a pretty damn good way. Her phone dinged and she turned her head just enough to see the screen. It was a text from her friend, Jenna, confirming their meet-up at the movie theater later. Jenna was a new friend. They'd met in a coffee shop and gone on one fairly awkward date before deciding that they really weren't compatible, so the instructor had been surprised to get an invite from the woman to see a movie together.

Kara sent a quick text back confirming the time and place and then went into her bathroom to hop into the shower. Her hand was still aching from her time playing with Danny so she took some pain killers before stepping under the warm spray, eyes closed and thinking about Cat.

Cat.

Kara had never felt this way about someone before. It was as though every cell in her body was urging her to be at the woman's side. And when she was there, she was completely captivated. Hormones, her logical mind asserted. A body's internal chemical drive to find a strong mate and procreate. She snickered to herself. She and Cat wouldn't be doing any procreating together but hell, it'd be fun trying.

The thoughts staggered her so much that she had to press a hand against the tiled wall to keep her balance. Since that night four years prior, Kara hadn't thought of sex as anything but painful and harmful. Psychologically, she'd always withdrawn if she'd felt even an ounce of attraction towards someone but, with Cat, it was different. Was it the trust she had in the CEO that made her more open to pursuing a relationship? Was it just her body's internal clock? She was prime breeding age after all. The thoughts went around and around in her head until she finished showering and stepped into the cool bathroom air to look at her reflection in the mirror.

Kara always saw the scars first and she knew that would never change. The bite marks on her shoulder had heeled but were still visible, the circular bumps of cigarette burns in equidistant points above her breasts, the small slices from a switchblade that punctuated thin, light-colored lines in different areas across her stomach… Torture. Not just rape.

She looked down and then grabbed a bath towel to wrap around her body and a smaller towel for her hair. She tried to imagine how Cat would react to seeing her naked for the first time. Would the older woman be surprised? Repulsed?

No.

Deep inside, Kara knew that Cat would not be repulsed. She would be supportive and loving and…

Love. The idea hit Kara like a ton of bricks and she shook her head. No, it couldn't be love she felt for Cat, could it? She chuckled to herself. After only a few days of knowing someone? Nah, it was hormones.

Probably.

After drying off and styling her hair, Kara dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a blue and white checked shirt. Her most comfortable cowboy boots finished the outfit and she added a light touch of makeup. In the kitchen, she pulled a bottle of water from the back of the refrigerator and gulped half of it down. But her phone pulled her attention away and she kicked the fridge door closed as she fished the device out of her back pocket. "Winn, hey, everything ok?"

I think so. I was just calling to thank you for what you did earlier.

"No thanks necessary. I just asked questions. Danny came to the answers himself."

God knows how long this has been going on. Winn's voice was trembling and Kara heard Paul consoling his husband quietly. But at least we know now and can deal with it.

"That's right. Danny's a really great kid. The others will come around. They're just saying things they don't understand." Kara shook her head. "Or maybe things they've heard at home, which is what angers me the most."

Yeah, true. Well, I'll let you go, Kara. I just wanted to check in. Enjoy your thing with Jenna.

"Thanks, Winn. Seeya."

Kara checked the time. She had another thirty minutes before she had to leave so she dialed Cat, smiling as it was picked up after a couple of rings. "So… kissing you drives me crazy… in an awesome way."

Cat was stunned into silence and then burst out laughing. I'm sorry I… what? Turned you on?

Kara blew out a long breath. "You could say that, yeah."

Cat's grin was audible. If it makes you feel any better, I felt the same way until I took a cold shower.

The younger blonde's voice softened. "It kinda does actually. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Cat, we've become close pretty quickly and if I'm not completely reading things wrong…" She swallowed. "At some point, we're going to…" She stopped talking as her mind derailed a little.

I want that with you, Kara. Cat's tone was gentle. But I'm not going to rush you, I promise. If anything further happens between us, it'll be at a pace that we're both comfortable with.

"Cat, it's been a long time since I've been able to think about sex in any other way then it being horrific." Kara dug down deep and tried to be as honest as she could. "I'm insecure about my scars and I don't know how I'm going to handle it."

Together Cat let the word sink in for a moment. WE'RE going to handle it together, Darling.

"Ok," Kara whispered in reply. "Thank you."

No, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I know it's not easy to open up sometimes but if we keep talking and trust each other… we'll have something special. Cat cleared her throat then. So what movie are you going to see?

"I'm not sure. I told Jenna she could pick whatever she wanted. I don't even know if we have the same taste in movies." The instructor shrugged to herself. "I met her in a coffee shop a few weeks ago and she asked me out during the conversation. We went on one date, which wasn't the best and agreed to just be friends. I thought I'd never hear from her again till I got a text last week asking me to go to a movie with her." There was silence on the other end of the phone. "Cat?"

I'm here. So… what if she wants to try dating again?

"What do you mean?"

What if she's thinking this is a date? Kara was blindsided and wasn't sure what to say. Never mind. It's ok. We didn't discuss anything about being exclusive so… enjoy your evening with her.

"Wait… Cat, I didn't think for one second that this was a date." Again, there was a moment of quiet. "Are you mad? Cos there's nothing to be mad about. She's just a friend."

No, I'm not mad, Darling. Cat replied. I just got a wakeup call about what I want but it's your choice, of course.

"Let me be clear," Kara said firmly. "I'm not seeing anyone but you, ok?"

Me neither. I'm sorry, Kara, I just got a little…

"Jealous?" the younger blonde teased.

Cat's sigh echoed down the line. Go on, don't be late meeting Jenna.

"We're ok?" Kara asked, wanting to be sure that Cat wasn't upset.

Cat's reply was warm. Of course we are. See you tomorrow at one. Bye Kara.

"Most definitely. Bye, Honey."

Xx

Kara shook her head as Jenna's hand, for the third time, tried to sneak onto her thigh behind their shared popcorn bucket. Once again, she blocked the move and sent the woman a sideways look. She really couldn't believe it. Cat had been right and apparently, Jenna wasn't getting the hint that she wasn't in the least bit interested. Finally, Kara shot up out of her seat and walked along the row to the stairs that led down to the exit and the hallway to the bathrooms. She quickly picked a stall in the ladies room, but as she was going in, a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders, eased her forward into the stall and reached under her arms to cup her breasts from behind.

"Great idea, Baby, finding us somewhere private," Jenna purred into Kara's ear.

The blonde was so shocked that before she realized what was happening, the dark woman's hand was already snaking down inside her jeans. The intimate touch sent Kara's brain into overload and she suddenly yelled and spun, pushing Jenna so hard in the chest that she lost her balance and fell out of the stall backwards onto the floor. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

From her prone position, Jenna held up her hands. "Fuck's sake, Kara. What the hell?"

"I did NOT invite you to touch me like that," the blonde replied angrily, her entire body trembling.

"You've been leading me on all night with your looks and come-ons!" Jenna picked herself up off the floor, shaking her head.

"Jenna, I have NOT been leading you on. I'm with someone now and sex with you is the LAST thing on my mind." She perched her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Jesus Christ, Cat was right. I should have listened to her."

"Cat?" Jenna spat. "Is that your new pussy? Is she going to be the next one who gets pushed out the door of a toilet stall? Or is she just another conquest to use and then move on."

"I love her!" Kara shouted, slamming her hand down on the vanity next to her. The words echoed around the tiled walls of the ladies room and then faded to nothing as she just stood there, trying to breathe.

The dark woman laughed. "Well God help her." And with that, she spun on her expensive heels and stalked out of the room.

Slowly, as her trembling subsided, Kara moved to the sink to splash some water on her face. Then leaning on her hands with water droplets dripping from her chin, she looked up into the mirror to see a new spark in the blue eyes staring back at her.

The words came softly and slowly and she tested them, tasting them for fear or doubt, letting them roll around in her mind.

"I love her."