Chapter Eleven

We board the rickety old bus to take us to the factionless part of the city right after breakfast. I find a row of seats and sit alone, not in the mood to converse with others. The bus has already started moving when someone drops into the seat next to me.

Liam.

"I didn't see you at breakfast," I tell him, trying to keep my breathing even.

"I saw you leave," he says quietly.

"I am none of your business," I respond, knowing I am being rude. I don't care. This is all Liam's fault.

"I have a message for you," he says, lowering his voice so it's barely audible over the rumble of the bus's engine. My heart races. A message. It must be from Jeanine, who wants to use me. But Abnegation also wants to use me. How did I get mixed up in this?

"There is a meeting at Amity one week from now," Liam says, "that is supposed to be attended by all of Abnegation's officials—Marcus Eaton, Andrew Prior, James Lewis, you know."

"And?"

"Jeanine needs you to cancel it."

"What if I say no?" I ask, avoiding Liam's eyes.

He pauses for a moment. Then, "I said no once. She tortured my sister. She injected her with fear-inducing serum and she tortured her, Susan. She's only twelve."

I shudder; I can't help it. I think of my brother, so blissfully ignorant in Amity, and my parents, equally unaware, heading to their respective jobs as they did every Thursday. I think of a pack of Erudite guards descending upon and capturing them, dragging them back to headquarters. I shudder again.

"Fine," I say through my teeth. "How?"

Liam explains the details to me, and I nod through them until he is done, when I ask, "What about Caleb?"

Liam looks perplexed. "What about him?"

"Is he okay?"

He looked genuinely apologetic. "I'm not sure, Susan. All I know is that Jeanine has him."

"What about Audrey?"

He's silent, and at my horrified expression, he quickly says, "She's not dead." But that is all. Not dead doesn't mean alive.

"I'll see you later," Liam says, before standing and moving up to the front of the bus to sit with a boy named Steven.

We take a different route today, due to construction, and pass a Dauntless train. They just fly off onto the sides of the tracks, lithe and beaming and seemingly carefree. I have always admired the bravery of the Dauntless, and I hope that I can summon enough courage to accomplish whatever my faction—and my family—needs of me.

After dinner, after everyone showers and returns to their rooms and sleeps, I wait. Lights-out for us is 9:30, but who knows how late Marcus Eaton and Andrew Prior will be awake, in the study?

I waited all day for one of them to confront me, to inform me that I was now their spy, but they didn't. I wondered if they changed their minds, or if it was just Abnegation people being Abnegation people; never taking risks, planning meticulously.

At eleven o'clock, exactly, I figure it is safe to at least see if they're still awake. One can only flip through the Abnegation handbook for so long before they need to do something else.

I shut the lamp off in my room and creep down the hall, then the stairs, which creak. I cringe at each extraordinarily loud step; during the day, when it was not necessary to be quiet, I hadn't noticed the creaking stairs.

There are no voices drifting down the hall at the end of which is the office, so I continue towards the door. I pause again, at the door, but still I can hear nothing. They must be asleep.

I gently shove the door open—of course the Abnegation would not lock their doors; they wouldn't suspect anyone of trying to enter one they weren't supposed to.

There is the office; it is dark, but I can see that there is no Marcus, no Andrew, no one. I stumble across the extremely neat room to the corner, where I can just make out a lamp, and flick it on. Now I can see better, and most importantly, I can see the computer in the middle of the desk, pushed up against the opposite wall.

My hands shake as I lower myself into the big leather chair in front of the desk; I am working for Erudite, I am a spy, I am betraying my faction. And I have no idea how to use a computer.

Please forgive me. The thought crosses my mind, and I realize I'm thinking it for my family, my faction, Caleb. This isn't my choice. I just wanted to be with Caleb Prior; that's all I've ever wanted.

Even though I don't deserve him now.

Even though he probably hates me.

I still love him.

I tap a few random keys on the computer's keyboard, like Liam instructed me to. It whirs to life, the screen suddenly glowing bright blue. It is password protected, but I enter the word he told me: Evelyn. I do not know who Evelyn is, but it works, and the password-requesting box disappears.

Using the mouse, I click on what looks like the icon Liam described to me, the one that says Mail. A row of messages pop up, and though I know it is wrong to pry, I can't help glancing at the list. There are several from Andrew Prior, one from Candor's leader, Jack Kang, and one from . . .

Jeanine?

I drag the mouse down to the one that says it's from Jeanine Matthews, and it expands to fill most of the screen. My pulse races as I read the message:

Marcus:

One week. That's all I need. One week from Friday, the day of official Dauntless initiation. We'll catch that Prior girl, and your son. Until then you need to play along with Andrew; make him think you're oblivious to all this. Make him think you're against me. He's not an idiot; he's from Erudite, remember?

-Jeanine

It's not cold in the room; it's only September, and it's heated, but suddenly I feel frozen. Marcus is working with Jeanine? Marcus Eaton is a spy? Why? When did this all become so corrupted?

I take a deep breath. I could worry later; I had to do what Liam told me. I exit out of the e-mail with shaking fingers and click on the top one: the one from Johanna Reyes, Amity's faction leader. It invites all the Abnegation government workers to a meeting next Friday. Until now, it was unopened.

I delete it, then head back upstairs to room forty-six.