Whispers Lost in Empty Hallways

It takes her ten minutes with the physicians to discover what an idiot she's been the past five years. And the first eight don't count because she was asleep.

Since they've both graduated, Whisper has hated Farmboy (Pilgrim, now—she can't bring herself to say she was beaten by a farmboy). She's striven to defeat him, humiliate him, even simply surpass him for once. And for each moment of the past five years she has failed, and hated him for it.

But now, in the final and greatest loss, she realizes what a waste those five years were. Because in the final defeat, she's learned that Pilgrim was never truly her enemy. A rival perhaps, but never an enemy. In fact, as she thinks back on how he's always risen to her challenges, always challenged her in return to be even better than she was, she realizes that he's been a good friend for all those years.

And as she lies in the bed, fingering the amulet he gave back to her, she wonders what on earth she was thinking, to make his life a living hell all those years.

She should apologize.

The though gives her new impetus, and she gets out of bed, ignoring the healers' protestations. She lets them fasten a bandage to her side—there are some things that even health potions can't fix—but after that she's out the door and running down the hallway. She doesn't know why the apology is so urgent. After all, it's waited for the past five years, it can wait another day or so. But for some reason she feels she has to say it, and say it now. For some reason the apology is important.

She knows that, but she doesn't know why, until she turns the corner and sees her brother. And Lady Grey. Talking to Pilgrim.

"…impressed, and that doesn't happen often." Lady Grey is saying. "I would so love it if you could come and visit me, we have SO much to discuss…"

Whisper's heart turns sick. Her brother has often told her the story of his first triumph at the arena, and of how Lady Grey invited him over shortly afterward. She knows exactly what's going on here. Strangely, though, she's not hurt to see her brother get thrown aside like a used basket. For some reason she's always expected something like this of Lady Grey. Even more strangely, it does hurt to see Farmboy—Pilgrim--standing there with a bewildered look on his face.

Why is that, she wonders. After all, her brother has always been the only family she's ever had. He's always protected her, nurtured her, helped her to become what she is today. She has always felt at home with her brother.

No. That's not true, she realizes. Even with her brother, she's always felt slightly out of place. Her whole life, she's been trying to come to where he is, trying to meet her brother on some common ground. But she's never arrived. She's always been slightly behind, slightly distant from her brother. As she watches her brother hiss a final insult at Pilgrim and then walk away, she feels as if that great man clad in armor is not her brother, but some stranger, a stranger who has taken a great interest in her career, but not in anything more. No, she's never really felt "at home" with her brother.

Whisper takes a step back into the shadow, gazing up at the high walls and towering statues of the hall. This was the home her brother had planned for her. This place of greatness, of majesty, of fierce determination and battle… this was the realm in which she was supposed to feel at peace. The arena of battle was to have been her solace of mind.

It almost was. If she had beaten Pilgrim, instead of the other way around, perhaps she might have felt comfortable here, as her brother did. She doubted it, though. Her whole journey as a hero had been done for her brother, an elaborate façade to pretend she was larger than she wanted to be. Certainly now, standing amongst these titans of stone, she knew she could never find a home there.

So where could she find her home? Where should she, now that she knows?

Unable to find an answer, Whisper shakes herself out of her stupor. Farmboy had disappeared. She needs to find him and apologize.

A/N: Yeah, I'm a little behind this week. Usually I submit the chapter just before I go to bed on Monday, but yesterday I was distracted and very tired. So I'm submitting this now. We'll see how that affects the viewer rate. It's still Tuesday, right?

Anyway. One more chapter before we completely leave the Arena. Sorry to take so long on it, but it's an important part for Whisper's character.

Reviews very much appreciated.