The rules of silence were dropped for this trip, but still the people on the boat were mostly mum. It was early, yet, and we slipped away from the dock into a dark slate sea and the kind of high-clouded sky that was mostly white, with small daubs of grey and blue.
I had sat beside Cosima, but we didn't speak, and she seemed to be content taking in the view. I, too, was taking in the vista, but also her beauty when her eyes weren't facing my way. I'm absolutely obsessed, I thought. But then again, haven't I always been, from the moment that I met her?
A murmur of excitement came from one side of the boat, and the captain slowed the engine and took a turn to starboard. The guide was pointing a short way off.
"So, if you look over there, we've just spotted some whales. Could be two, could be more. We're gonna take you a little closer, but don't worry, we won't bother them. If they want to come closer than we pull in, that's up to them."
Cosima's face lit up in an excited smile. She slid closer to that side of the boat and I followed her. For a moment I saw nothing, then a dark curve in the water. Suddenly, a blowhole appeared, spraying water into the air, then rolled back under. A second later, a smaller one emerged and emitted its own blast of mist.
"Yeah, two of them, humpbacks," the guide confirmed. "Looks like a mama and her baby. They're often easier to spot because they're closer to the coast and the surface."
A moment, and then a giant fluke appeared and waved in the air. The group erupted into a chorus of ohs and oohs. I let out a gasp, myself, and Cosima turned to me.
"Isn't this amazing? They're so awesome, so beautiful…"
I smiled and nodded enthusiastically. So are you, I thought, and I didn't know which delighted me more.
A surge of exclamations drew our attention back to the side of the boat.
"Here comes the little one, checking us out," the guide said, and suddenly I saw the shape of the head, much closer now, and just under the surface. The young whale moved alongside our vessel, rolling, and then, most remarkably, its eye appeared. It seemed to be looking right at us, a clear, curious gaze through a large pupil, still relatively small compared to the expanse of grey, striated flesh around it. It sees us, my mind dumbly marvelled, my scientific interest overridden by the sheer enormity of the moment, what seemed to be an understanding, a connection between us humans and a truly intelligent animal. I felt a bit shaken, as if realizing clearly that I, that all people, were much less alone in this world than we thought, that as we went about our daily lives and petty problems in our species-egocentric cities, there were other spirits travelling around us, perceiving things totally differently, but encountering and acknowledging us, as well. I felt tears springing to my eyes. I had taken one look into that animal's eye, and I swear I felt a soul gazing back at me.
"Hey," I heard beside me, and I turned to see Cosima looking at me with a gentle smile and moist eyes, herself. She reached out and clasped my arm briefly with one hand. "I know," she said.
The mother passed close to us, then disappeared.
"She's under us," the guide said, and everyone held their breath. I could just see a huge, dark mass moving an indefinite distance below our boat, the chop and cloud-dulled opacity of the water making it hazy, hard to follow, as if it might be a hallucination.
There was a moment of silence, and then, farther away than I expected on the port side, the mother's blow hole surged up and exhaled again.
"Ahh," I felt the sound emerge from me, born in wonder, my hand pressed to my chest. Cosima turned again, and this time her gaze met mine and lingered, our connection feeling so much more than visual. It was, in that moment, just as powerful as meeting the whale's eye had been.
"... from Antarctica," the guide was saying. "In this area we get migrations from both hemispheres passing through, so it's extremely important that we conserve the cleanliness and health of our waters…"
We didn't stop looking at each other until the boat gave a lurch, the engine churning again at a higher speed, the prow pointed back toward our original destination. We both looked away, and I was fairly sure her face bore a similar soft, private smile as mine.
It took about a half an hour for the other dock to come into view. We all piled out of the boat, stretching and feeling the firm pull of gravity on our bodies on the land. The guide told us he was going to file some paperwork in the office, and we should take the opportunity to drink water, use the bathroom, or re-apply sunscreen or bug repellent. I looked down at my hastily packed and nearly empty bag with a sigh.
"Don't tell me you didn't bring any sunblock or bug spray," Cosima said lowly, close to my side, and I turned to see an amused smirk twisting at her lips.
"Ah, non," I replied, with a sheepish shrug, "I guess I found out about the trip at the last minute."
She cocked her head and squinted at me in the bright glare of the morning. She slowly shook her head.
"Delphine, you know how pale you are. One of these days you're gonna get sun poisoning." She let out a half chuckle-half sigh, and rooted in her bag. "Here," she held out a plastic spray bottle. "It's combination sunblock and repellent, all natural, non-toxic. Apply liberally, Delphine." She tipped me a wink and I ducked my head to hide the blush that warmed my cheeks in response, pretending to be focused on spraying the liquid on my legs. How was she still so disarming? Was that just how she was, or was it because I hadn't been near her in so long? She turned me into someone more youthful, less hardened and injured by the battles of my unusual past. I looked up at her, and she was still quietly smiling, now watching a couple of brown pelicans fighting against the wind current toward the shore. I cleared my throat.
"Em, help me reach my back," I asked, and turned, lifting my tank top. I couldn't see her face, but there was a beat before she took the bottle from me. She sprayed my skin and then ran her hands over it quickly, but efficiently. I imagined there was a slight slowing of her strokes as her fingers grazed the nape of my neck, as they ran over the curve from my waist to my hip, but I couldn't be sure. I could be sure of the effect having her touch me this way had on me, however. My breath became shallower and my eyes slipped closed at the warmth of her palms, little jolts and sparkles of electricity travelling my spine. She pulled her hands away and I heard the click of the cap on the bottle.
"There you go," she said, tone neutral, as I turned around. She was peering into her bag as she put the bottle in it, taking what seemed to be unusually attentive care with where she placed it.
"Thank you," I breathed, and her head came up again. For a moment, she said nothing. Then, "here," as she removed the straw hat from her head and placed it on mine. "You need this more than I do." She took a look at me in it and her lips curled upwards.
"You're just a French country girl, now," she said, and I giggled, trying to look indignant.
"And you are still a brat," I countered. She shook her head.
"Oh, Delphine," she looked away for a moment then back again. "Well, I'm glad I could help you out. The last thing you need for inner peace is to get a bot fly infestation. It's all fun and games until I have to slap meat and honey all over you and pull larvae out of your flesh."
Now I was smirking.
"That is a disturbing visual. Are you sure that's what would be necessary to counter that parasite? Coating me in honey?"
"Ah," she chuckled, "uh-uh…" and took a step away from me.
"I, em, appreciate your consideration and care for my skin, you know," I flirted, because it was clear what I was doing now, and I wanted to get clear on what she was doing, as well. I followed her step for step
"Yeahhh," she breathed out, with one shake of her head, but a grin on her face, trying not to look at me, but letting me pull alongside her as she walked.
We were partway up the path when the guide re-emerged from the offices.
"Okay, everyone, last check-in and then vamanos! Let's see some of this beautiful rainforest!"