Chapter 11: First base isn't always a good base
"…Do you have any idea what he's talking about?"
"Nope. Not at all."
Matthew raised an eyebrow at Kiku as his brother continued rolling over the floor, pillow pressed to his chest as he needed it to muffle high-pitched screams every once in a while, limbs wildly flailing and body spasming, non-distinguishable nonsense flowing from his ever-moving lips. Either Alfred was possessed by the devil, or he had found Matthew's "medicinal herbs" and was showing some kind of strange reaction to the stuff.
"Thanks for abandoning me, by the way. Real nice," Matthew remarked dryly, even though he was already used to his twin's spontaneous disappearances. Alfred was a master at taking you by surprise, even when you happened to come from the same womb.
"I did it Mattie, I finally did it!" Alfred wheezed after a while, pillow removed to reveal a flushed face and heaving chest. "I'm so happy I could die!"
"Please do not die before the finals, you will throw your future away," Kiku reminded him, but Alfred had already gone back to giggling like a maniac, kicking his feet excitedly in the air.
"How did you two become friends again?" Matthew asked with a sigh, letting himself fall back onto the mattress.
"He noticed I was playing Pokémon and instantly declared us friends for life," Kiku replied, following the other's example. "People often ask me how I can stand being with him, but I suppose he does bring a lot of excitement to my life."
"Yeah, I guess there's that."
"Hey guys, I'm right here," Alfred piped in. Matthew moved his legs to the side so he could stare down at the other, Alfred finally sitting up, already starting up a pout.
"You were the one ignoring us instead of explaining why you're so hyper," Matthew countered, squeaking when Alfred jumped up and threw himself onto the bed in between them. There was barely enough room for three grown boys, but the blond didn't seem to give a care in the world.
"I did it you guys! Oh my God I'm so happy!"
"You already said that," Kiku grumbled, starting to feel a mild discomfort at this much bodily contact. "Alfred, I don't mean to pry, but if I might ask, what exactly are you happy about?" Might as well humour his roommate, as there would be no stopping the guy's bubbly squeals until he got to have his say.
Alfred's face suddenly grew serious, staring at the headboard before him, with an expression that made much more clear than any of his goofy spats ever would why people considered him handsome. There was a sense of almost comical wonder about him, as if he was surprised to see that he was in his own bedroom, or that he was a living human being, sharing the look a father would give his newborn child upon first touch.
"I kissed him," he whispered, all but overcome with awe. His tongue darted out to taste along his lips, as if Ivan's presence could still be felt there. A satisfied grin slowly began to grow, and blissful snorts and giggles once more escaped his lips. "I kissed him, and it was motherfucking awesome!"
"Kissed…Ivan?" Matthew asked in disbelief, having to raise his voice to be audible above the constant siren that was a jubilant Alfred. "He really let you kiss him?"
"Congratulations, Alfred," Kiku nodded with a small smile, hoping this would mean the end of Alfred's constant lovesick (horny) whining. Maybe now that he had gotten his kiss, he could focus on more important matters again. Like the new season of One Punch Man they had been patiently waiting for!
"Alfred, can you please stop kicking me?!" Matthew huffed, attempting to push the other off, creating a small struggle as Kiku was temporarily smothered by the unstoppable American. At long last Alfred jumped off the bed again, giving the other two a moment to collect themselves, while he performed a victory dance beside them.
"Who's awesome? This guy!" He did a sort of whacky moonwalk that would make Michael Jackson roll over in his grave, but he couldn't care less about how stupid or cringe-worthy he looked at that moment. "Who's finally gonna have sex? This guy! Who's gonna have the sexiest boyfriend on campus? THIS GUY—"
"So you two are dating now?" Matthew interrupted, and Alfred seemed to freeze mid-step, as if struck by lightning.
"Uh…"
"You did say you kissed him, right?" the softer blond pushed on, a sense of dread filling him as Alfred starting sweating, still frozen. "And he did consent to the kiss? You didn't just assault him? Or was that all just a dream you're getting so excited about?"
"It wasn't a dream," Alfred said thinly, voice sounding oddly dry.
"Did you propose to him?" Kiku asked, and Alfred took a moment to give him an incredulous look before having to answer to his brother.
"Alfred, tell me what happened. I don't want to hear you got a restraining order."
"Why on earth would I get a restraining order?" Alfred mumbled indignantly, starting to move into a more defensive stance, arms slung over one another, protecting his chest area. "I just told him I like him, and I kissed him, and then—"
"And then what, Alfred?"
The blond looked back and forth between the two of them, happy butterflies making room for nervously buzzing wasps.
"…And I said some stuff about how I vowed to make him mine and ran off." It sounded kind of melodramatic now that he was thinking about it…but melodramatic was good, right? It was romantic, right?
"You ran off," Matthew repeated, and Alfred didn't like the look he sent him at all, an older-brother-I-told-you-so look he had received far too many times over the course of their shared youth.
"Yeah, but, I mean, he was sick so I couldn't—"
"You kissed a sick man?" Kiku asked, mouth twitching back in either pity or disgust. (What if Alfred had gotten some sort of mouth herpes now? Kiku would have to continue sharing a room with him, the man who went around kissing the ill!)
"I know it sounds bad, but—"
"And Ivan didn't have any problem with you kissing him?" Matthew grabbed Alfred's shoulders, forcing the rest of the story out of him. "He was fine with you kissing him while he was sick, and you declaring your love to him, and…?"
"And…" Alfred wanted so badly to say "and then I asked him out and he said yes", or "and then we agreed to start dating", or even a simple "he gave me his number", but no. None of those things had happened. Because he had run off before— "I kinda…left before he could react," he laughed, like it was the most hilarious thing he had ever said, even though his eyes shifted left and right as if looking for a way to escape.
"Alfred, you are the biggest idiot I know," Matthew growled, eyes narrowing to condescending slits.
"A loveable idiot, right?" Alfred asked with his sweetest puppy eyes, after which Kiku slapped a hand against his forehead.