Me: I am so anxious about this chapter.
Kyo: Why? You've somehow pulled them off so far. What's different about this one?
Me: I have to switch between the dream and reality several times in this chapter. Like, every other paragraph almost. I have no planning done and I'm on a time limit. Basically, the walls are closing in on me and I want to pass this test of my skills with flying colors despite it.
Tohru: I believe in you.
Me: I feel much better now. I guess.
Momiji: You can do it!
Me: Yes I can! Yo readers, read, enjoy, review, send questions, nuff said.
Chapter 11: An Ending and a Beginning
A hand touched Tohru's shoulder, firm and trembling simultaneously. In a daze, she felt Uo take the paper from her hand and, she guessed, read it. Her friend's breath sped up and the tension culminated in a gasp and a crackle as the paper was crunched in Uo's hand. Tohru, unable to make herself move, gulped and spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.
"What does it say?"
Kyo was aware of a knock, but he couldn't make himself do anything but sob as Tohru's body tensed and arched in his terrified grip. She was growing colder and colder against his skin and her breathing was becoming so ragged that he was afraid it would stop.
A hand touched his shoulder, shaking slightly but trying to be strong. The faint, fresh scent and the weight of the hand told him it was Yuki, but it would have been plain from the fact that he was perhaps the only person besides Shishou-san who would have interrupted such a moment. His voice wrenched out of his throat in a choked moan, saying the only name that meant anything.
Uo was hesitant to read the paper, but Tohru didn't have any choice but to ask her, so she read, jaw barely opening.
'Tohru,
I love you. I always have and always will. You deserve better than a broken man like me. All I've ever done is hurt you. Now you are free to start over, with a new love, someone who can protect you. Forget me. I am nothing. Be happy. My gift to you is joy and a chance. I love you.
Kyo Sohma'
Tohru's heart dropped like a stone, choking her and freezing her breathing where it was. In an instant, her limbs were unfrozen and she leapt to the window, scrambling through it into the night. She felt something rip and air brushed her sides and arms. She tumbled out onto her face, feeling a welt form immediately. She got up onto her hands and knees, feeling about until a rough rope touched her hands. She followed it with trembling hands, feeling the knots twisted around the bars of the fire escape. The tension beneath the knots was intense, and she knew in an instant what had happened. Her mouth opened.
"What happened?" Yuki's voice said, sounding far away in Kyo's head. He gasped in air, trying to form a coherent thought and force it out his mouth.
"She just started tensing up. A-a-and her breathing. I think she's dying." His voice was hysterical and he hugged the body to his chest, screaming for her to wake up. Yuki's hand tightened on his shoulder and then started to retract, but at the last second, he decided to leave it there.
All at once, Tohru's body shuddered, going limp momentarily before tensing so suddenly that her knee knocked the wind out of Kyo. A low keening started in her throat, rising and falling, but growing ever louder. Kyo gasped, suddenly lowering her so he could look at her. Her icy skin was sweating terribly, soaking both of their clothes in a matter of minutes. Her face twisted, agony laid bare, and the moaning grew to a scream. Kyo heard so much pain, guilt and despair in it that he shivered in pure terror.
Uo tried to follow Tohru, but her friend's mad dash and fall had slid the window closed and it was stuck now, despite the former Yanki's multiple attempts to open it. She heard her friend start to moan, voice sliding up and down in a keen so full of naked grief that Uo froze in place. What right did she have to interrupt such anguish for one so loved? So she stood there, watching out the window as Tohru hugged herself around the extra rope, screaming that boy's name and rocking.
"Tohru please! Don't leave me alone! I can't do this! I need you. Come back!" The cat's voice rose and fell, begged and demanded, screamed and moaned and whispered. He couldn't do this; he couldn't just watch while Tohru lay delirious and screaming in his arms. She was obviously in pain, but he could do nothing, only hold her and cry as she slipped away from him.
"Tohru…"
He was gone. Nothing in the world was left for Tohru. First her father, then her mother, now the only one she had ever loved. One after the other, each one dying with love for her on their lips. In the quiet before she had cried, there had been no breaths, no brushing of cloth against skin from movement, no heartbeats echoing in the stillness. Only the creak of the rope.
"Don't leave me." The words were a plea. "I'm sorry. Please come back. Kyo!" Her voice rose again, aching with loneliness and agony.
"Kyo…"
Finally, after hours of begging, wailing and screaming until her voice was no more than a memory, Tohru crumpled where she knelt, her forehead coming to rest against the rough knot that still vibrated with the weight of death. She felt washed clean, wrung out, splintered and utterly alone. There wasn't an ounce of pain left in her to be expressed, nor a single drop of energy in which to express it. Only numb acceptance, a slight flutter of nausea from her dehydrated body, and a dull ache that felt like a feverish itch in the back of her pounding skull.
After an unidentified period of time, she raised her head, opening her useless eyes and glancing up and around. At the apex of her upward swing, she saw something that made her stop in utter shock. A single point of white light hovered directly above her head. It opened wider as she gazed upward. A voice echoed from it… and she knew it. It was as imprinted upon her heart as the face of her mother. A ray of pale orange light came down from the point and when it rested on her head, she heard a word, and tears ran down her face.
"Come back. Tohru…" She closed her eyes and gave herself to the light, feeling light as air, and everything fell into brilliant, soft, silence.
Her voice died and it was all over. Tears coursed down her face as it gradually smoothed into something peaceful and distant. Her whole frame went limp and a sigh of released air whooshed from her lungs. Her chest did not rise again, and the flow of tears stopped. Behind Kyo, Yuki's hand loosened as he dropped to his knees, then tightened again as he began shaking with terrible, racking sobs. Kyo simply sat, heart shattering within him and mind wrung out by the agony into blank whiteness. He felt nothing, saw nothing, heard and smelled and was nothing.
What was a soul? What was love? What, indeed, was life, the world, the universe? Nothing. All was nothing. The only thing was the dead weight in his arms, the cooling skin that brushed his, the vacant face that his vision tunneled around. When that was gone, he might as well have never existed for all the good his senses, his very life would do him.
Empty.
Me: Wow, I thought this story was going to be longer, but it cuts off so well right now, I think I'm going to forego the funeral descriptions and the utter depression that Kyo goes through afterward.
Tohru: That's it? That is so sad! I thought we were going to be together. And what about Momiji?
Momiji: Yeah, you said I would come in.
Me: Well aren't you glad that I spared you all the pain and suffering I was going to put you through?
Hatori: No seriously. That is the most depressing fic ever. I can't say I spend a lot of time reading them-
Shigure: I do.
Hatori: Granted. Point being, I don't read fics, but this has got to be one of the saddest, most tragic stories ever.
Kisa: Onee-san just dies? That's it? But… Onee-san! **starts crying**
Hiro: You monster! **holds Kisa and puts on a brave face even though he is practically crying himself.
Haru: **starts breathing really heavily and eyes flash**
Rin: Crap. First Tohru, now Haru's going black. What have you done?
Ayame: **stands there looking really pale**
Me: I'm sorry guys but that's the end. So I hope you enjoyed, review, send me questions and I'll see you next time…
Yuki: I hate you.
Me: Kidding! Here's the rest of the chapter.
Readers and Sohmas: KILL!
Me: **runs away**
Cloth beneath her legs. Strong arms pressing her face into a sweat-scented shirt. A gentle rocking sensation. Shuddering breaths, rough clothes, a prickle in her arm and darkness. She pinched her eyes closed a bit more, trying to go back to the warm light. She wondered why her chest hurt, then she discovered that if she sucked in air through her nose, the pain eased and she felt more alert. The arms beneath her tensed as she breathed again, sucking in deeply and sharply as her body greedily demanded more air, more.
A voice murmured above her, muffled, but loud in her sensitive ears. She felt one of the hands under her move up to her head and a finger rubbed her forehead. She wondered what they wanted and if they knew how to get back to the light place. She tried to open her mouth, to ask, but her muscles were sluggish and weak. She barely managed to part her lips, but she couldn't manage creating sound. Instead, she breathed again.
"Tohru." The voice was more insistent this time, and the sounds meant something. She found herself wanting to respond to the word, to somehow assuage the breathless fear she heard in the voice. She tried to speak again, this time managing a faint, "Hey," before her voice died. Instantly, everything moved and noise broke out all around her. She whimpered faintly, curling in closer to the comforting, somehow familiar warmth of the one who held her.
"Tohru, oh my… You're alive. And awake. Oh go…" The rest of his word was cut off as he pressed his mouth against hers, warm and wet and invoking so many memories that her eyes popped open in shock. Then the passion in the kiss deepened, and her eyes slid shut again in utter bliss. This was Kyo. Somehow, some way, he was alive and here and she didn't care about anything else. They pulled apart very slightly, breathing in each other's scents, utterly alone in their adoration.
Behind them, Yuki suddenly felt very awkward as the engaged couple began kissing and generally being the most in-love couple he had ever seen. Quietly, he slipped downstairs, finding eighteen pairs of eyes set in pale faces looking straight at him. He smiled tiredly.
"She's awake." A general intake of breath was followed by a loud cheer and scattered laughs and sobs as the tension broke and everyone began celebrating the simple joy of life renewed. Even baby Hinata broke into a loud giggle, her first true laugh ever. Hiro hugged her tightly to his chest as Kisa completed the circle on the other side and his mother covered them both with a silent, warm embrace. Uo stood and triumphantly trumpeted a string of insults and catcalls at the begrudgingly grinning Akito. Shigure and Ayame sat back, eyes glancing at Hatori with challenges for him to show something at the good news. He simply smiled, true, genuine warmth coming through for the first time in a long while. The others started up a ridiculous amount of noise and motion as everyone went around with hugs and exclamations.
Yuki stayed slightly apart, grinning when Kakeru slapped him on the back and went to raid the goody table. Only Machi seemed to stay by him for any length of time as she took his hand and stood a couple of stairs below him. He drew her up level with him, kissing her deeply and holding her shoulders in his hands. He shivered as her hands came to rest on his chest, warm through the white fabric. Their arms slid around each other and they stood comfortably, simply together.
She's awake. He thought. It was all right now. He pushed aside his apprehension that something could still be wrong and gave in to relief. Nothing could go wrong now. It wouldn't be fair.
Ah, if only that counted in the decisions of fate.
Me: Ok, for realsies this time. That's the end of chapter. I have more incoming, but there you go. Do you forgive me for the scare? **tomato flies past head, followed by a shiny knife** I guess not. Well let it be known I love you guys. Please forgive, review and send in those questions. Love you guys! **giant cleaver hits wall just barely above head** AHH! Please forgive me! **babbles incoherent apologies**
Shigure: Let's let her squirm awhile. Do review, if you will.