A/N- Thank you all very much for acknowledging my brilliance. It means a lot :)
Disclaimer- Besides still not owning aforementioned stuff, I also don't own Superman, My Little Pony or YouTube
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: SHEPARD, J.
To: ZERO, J.
Subj: I Need Your Help
I need a powerful biotic to help me fly. And you should probably come thank me for saving the universe again. A striptease would be a great thank you gift. Just saying.
Commander Sexy
EXTRANET MESSAGE
To: WREX, U.
From: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: Shepard 1-0 Wrex
Eat this.
*File Attachment*
Attached file contains a vid of Commander Shepard dressed as Superman, apparently flying past KCH
A/N- I got bored and made a (bad) picture. /cvtqo9
Alliance Security Log
*VISUAL FILE*
ERROR: Video equipment hacked. Shows only a looped vid of LCDR SHEPARD, J. wearing only a pink wig and a grass skirt, doing a dance known as the 'Macarena'.
*AUDIO FILE*
TRANSCRIPT
"Thanks for helping me out with that Jack."
"No problem Shepard. Just don't ask me to do that again, you've put on weight, you're harder to lift."
"What? No I haven't. I look great. Don't I?"
"Ha ha! Look at you prancing around in front of the mirror like a girl. Want me to comb your hair while you do your make up?"
"Very funny. Now how about that striptease?"
"Not gonna happen Shepard."
"You barely wear clothes anyway...c'mon...you know you want to."
"Shepard."
"Here, I'll help-"
*Thudding sound, followed by a male groaning, followed by another thud.*
"And that's what you get for being a jerk. Later Shepard."
EXCERPT FROM KCH MEDICAL FILE
Patient SHEP.11042154.R2D2
Doctor I.D. Singh-902
Patient was found curled in the fetal position and holding his groin by doctor during a routine check up. Patient initially refused to allow staff to examine him, but after several unaided attempts to get up he conceded. The patient appears to have been punched once in the face and once in the groin. He won't tell staff who is responsible for the injuries, saying only, "She's just jealous 'coz I'm sexier than her. And she's so in love with Miranda." It's a shame really, because I'm sure the female staff would love to buy whoever it was a drink to say thanks.
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: WREX, U.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: I Am BRONY!
Who's laughing now?
*File Attachment*
Attached file contains a vid of WREX, U. dressed as a character from 'My Little Pony', flying clearly with the aid of several ropes, over an unknown construction site in London.
LCDR SHEPARD, J. Personal YouTube Profile
Username: CommanderSexyN7
Videos: 1
-My Little King Krogan Pony - Uploaded: 1 hour ago - 395,085 views
Favourite Videos:
-Commander Shepard Becomes First Human SpecTRe
-Commander Shepard Sexy Pics!
-ZOMBIES ARE REAL! Commander Shepard Back From The Dead?!
-Lakers Girls Tribute to Commander Shepard
-Miranda Lawson is HOT!
-Commander Shepard More Sexy Pics!
-Sneezing Baby Varren
-U.N.A.S. College Cheerleading Championship Highlights
-A Tribute To Chief Ashley Williams, KIA, RIP
-College Girls Get Naked For Shepard -Deleted Video-
-Saren Arterius Bubblegum Pop Lip Dub
-Commander Shepard Knocks Out Reporter On The Citadel
-Commander Shepard Knocks Out Reporter On The Citadel Again!
-Commander Shepard Knocks Out Same Reporter On The Citadel Again Again!
-Geth Doing The Robot Dance
-Batarian Transvestite Sings 20th Century Jazz Covers
-Super Sexy: A Kaidan Alenko Tribute
A/N- If anyone can make a pic of Wrex dressed as a My Little Pony, I, and I'm guessing every other ME fan out there, will be eternally grateful and promise to love you forever. EDIT: Thanks thebluninja...just Googled My Little Krogan...I think I will die laughing!