I had so many mini crises while writing this chapter: not knowing what POV to use, not liking my decision on switching the POV, changing details of the plot that can affect later parts of the story. I don't know why it was so difficult. It's basically another filler chapter, but I think I bugged my beta on at least three occasions while writing, and at least once while she was in the process of beta-ing the completed chapter, to help me work through whatever was going through my brain. So, thank you TheAmazonian for putting up with me. I hope y'all like the end result =) As my beta happily pointed out: all the ships get a little attention in this chapter.
Bellamy woke up with the sun, per usual; living on the ground, the sun became his wake-up call. A couple months ago, if he was asked to name all the people whose well-being he cared about, he would have given one name, Octavia. Now, he looked around his small group that had come to the ground with him, there were six other names on that list. His eyes found the familiar head of blonde and he immediately had to work to banish the small smile that was arising at the memory of how she had fallen asleep on him the night before; and even more so on the way she had burrowed into him when he had tried to wake her.
He got up, trying not to wake anyone, and headed toward the treeline where he remembered spotting some berries yesterday. If he learned one thing while down here it was not to pass on good food when it was right in front of him. He picked what was ripe, putting it in a small pouch he liked to keep in his pack for times such as this.
"Hi, O," he smiled a couple minutes later.
Octavia appeared, melting out of the trees. She sighed heavily. "I was hoping Clarke's river technique thing would finally let me sneak up on you. Fucking telepaths."
"Because walking around completely unaware of how close people are to me in potentially hostile woods sounds like a safe idea," he said dryly.
Octavia let out a loud laugh. It was good to see her laugh so openly; the ground was doing good things for her. "Bell, you do realize that is exactly how everyone else walks around. Not everyone can hear other people's thoughts sneaking up on them."
He frowned, the thought never really having occurred to him before. He shrugged it off. "Ready to get back to the Exodus ship?" he asked with false enthusiasm.
"Yeah, because the Council has always been welcoming to all of us." She paused. "Do we have to live with them? Can't we just make a separate place? Maybe go live with the grounders who actually respect people with Abilities?"
He didn't like the idea of being separated from his sister any more than he liked the idea of living in a grounder village. But before he could respond or decide which was the lesser of the two evils, he sensed another presence coming closer: Raven.
"Hey losers, they're starting to serve breakfast back at the wreck. Figured I'd come get you two before it was all gone."
Bellamy nodded and began following her toward the gathering of people. "I just wanted to pick some berries for Clarke since I was going to make sure she slept until we had to go. Miller too."
"I like how Miller is an afterthought on that," Octavia teased.
Bellamy shoved her playfully, but didn't acknowledge the comment further.
Murphy joined the group seamlessly. "If you're so worried about them being tired from using their Abilities, why don't you just let them sleep it off. They can hike over together later."
"Why don't we just leave you behind?" Octavia asked.
"Because you'd miss my excellent conversational skills," he returned, not missing a beat.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but isn't the saying, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder?' I could do with the 'absence' part for a while."
"So, you want to become fonder of me?" Murphy smirked at her. "I knew I found a way into your heart, Reyes."
She gave him a deadpan look and fell into line with Jasper and Monty. When they got to the front, Jasper held up the rations packet with a disgusted frown. "I had forgotten they don't know what real food the ground has to offer yet. Do we have any of that meat left over from dinner?"
"We were expecting to be back at the dropship last night, so no," Bellamy returned, but eyed the silver packet in his hand with equal disgust.
"What about those berries you were picking earlier?" Jasper asked.
Octavia broke out into a gleeful smile. "They're for Clarke," she sing-songed.
"And Miller," Bellamy grunted.
"Good idea," Monty piped, ignorant of Octavia's implication. "Nate and Clarke should sleep as long as they can before we hike back. And berries will definitely be better than this…shit."
Raven laughed. "Monty, you seem so innocent when you swear. Like you're reluctant to say 'shit' and that's not even that bad of a curse word."
Jasper joined her laughter. "You've never met Mrs. Green. If she knew her precious baby boy just said 'shit,' she'd be flabbergasted."
They laughed and joked their way through a rather unsatisfying breakfast. Bellamy waited until the last minute before waking Clarke. "Clarke, it's time to wake up," he called. No response. "Clarke, we need to head back to the Exodus ship." Still nothing. He sighed and knelt down to place a hand on her shoulder, and gently nudged her. "Come on, Sleeping Beauty. Wake up."
She turned her head away from his voice, murmuring, "Not yet," much like she had the night before. Only this time she was laying on the ground. She was immediately awake and sitting while spitting out dirt. She rubbed her hand across her mouth.
Bellamy chuckled. "Quite the elegant princess," he teased.
She glared. "I assume you didn't wake me up until it was time to head to the Exodus ship," she looked toward the horizon which the sun was fully above.
"They didn't wake me up either," Miller grumbled from a few feet away. Monty was kneeling next to him, apparently having taken the same job as Bellamy.
"You're both up now. And you both needed the rest," Monty told them.
Murphy spoke from a few feet away, packing his small bag. "I suggested we leave you both here with a walkie. You'd get the sleep they thought you needed and you're competent enough to make it back to the ship."
"Thanks for not taking Murphy's suggestion," Miller said as he reached for his own pack that had been his pillow the night before.
"I hope you're ready for a fun-filled walk with your mom," Raven said chipperly, walking up to the group to grab her pack from where she had left it before breakfast. "She's already been asking if you're up."
"Great," Clarke sighed, drawing out the word.
Bellamy smothered a laugh at her clear lack of enthusiasm. But as they walked over to join the small crowd of Farm Station survivors, probably near fifty in total, Bellamy sensed more was on Clarke's mind that she had verbalized. He took a step up to walk next to her. "It's okay to still care about her," he said quietly. "She's family."
"Family that sent the rest of my family to his death," she returned.
"But you still care." He knew that feeling. He could spot it a mile away, even if the thought was laced with reluctance to feel that emotion.
She let out a long breath. "Yes. I still care. I know she had her reasons. Reasons I don't agree with, but she believed in them. And…and she's my mom. I can't just stop loving her after twenty-one years."
"You should go talk to her," he encouraged. He hadn't always agreed with his mother's decisions, but in the end, he wished he had forgiven her aloud before she was floated, instead of blaming her for sending him and Octavia into a life of hiding and surviving by taking surreptitious deals. He also wasn't a huge fan of Clarke's mother, Council Member Abigail Griffin, but he knew the importance of family.
"I should, shouldn't I?" she responded, sounding reluctant. She looked thoughtful. "I'll wait until we're closer to the Exodus. Then once we get there I can cite her having Council duties and make my getaway."
Bellamy laughed. "Whatever the hell you want." They dropped their pace to fall back with the rest of those with whom they came to earth. Bellamy had the feeling they would be doing this a lot more, secluding their group from the rest of the Ark; surviving two months on hostile ground together does something to bond people.
When he estimated they were half an hour away from the Exodus ship, he caught Clarke's eyes and nodded his head toward the front of the trail of survivors. I'm pretty sure your mom's toward the front, if you wanted to go chat with her.
Clarke made a face, didn't say anything back, but quickened her pace and left the group.
She didn't return even after the ship was in sight. Guards were posted every couple yards around the perimeter of the ship guns held readily in their hands as others were already starting to build a wall.
Octavia shrank back a little. "I hate this. I feel like we just got out from under the thumb of the Ark, and now were willingly going back for more."
"Preaching to the choir," Murphy grumbled. "I vote we just eat some of their food, grab Clarke and head back to the dropship."
"After Nate finds his dad," Monty added.
Miller shot the other man a small smile. "Speaking of which, I think I just spotted him." He took a few steps in that direction and then stopped and looked back at the group. "We haven't really talked since I was arrested…" he trailed off.
"I vote Monty should go with you," Jasper shouted eagerly, pushing his friend toward Miller. "Monty's a good buffer. Everyone loves Monty."
The man in question shot his friend what would be a withering glare had it been coming from anyone else, but joined Miller as he turned back toward his father.
"Are they?" Octavia asked.
Jasper grinned conspiratorially. "I don't know about Miller, but Monty definitely has a huge crush on him."
"Bell?" Octavia turned to him.
"It's their business, not mine," he returned pointedly. Though Miller definitely returned the crush.
"You're no fun," she pouted. "Food? It looks like they've got some weird stew thing they're giving to all the people from Farm Station. Let's get in on that."
Soon they were sitting around in a loose circle eating, still no sign of Clarke. He thought about reaching out to her, but decided it best to let her have her time with her mom. He took another bite of the 'stew'; the new arrivals definitely had a thing or two to learn about the availability of food on Earth, such as sparse pieces of overcooked meat and a handful of potato chunks do not a proper stew make. His musings on his meal were interrupted by a sudden excitement coming from Raven.
"Finn?" she breathed in disbelief as she rose to her feet. She started toward a floppy-haired boy who looked vaguely familiar.
"Raven?" he returned, equally astonished. "I thought you were…"
She embraced him tightly. "Floated? Nope. They sent me down here with these assholes," she said, releasing him and turning back to the group who were seated on some logs. "Guys, this is Finn. He was my best friend growing up. Finn, this is Murphy, Jasper, Octavia, and Bellamy. There are a few more of us, but they're somewhere around here, talking with their parents and whatnot."
The floppy-haired man nodded at the group before returning his gaze to Raven, still awed that he had found her. Bellamy sensed a little bit of guilt about something, but didn't delve deeper, assuming it was just the assumption that he had given her up for dead.
"Sit, eat," Raven sat happily, returning to her spot. Finn sat close to her, brushing against her side and touching her as if to reassure himself she was still there.
"So, you knew Raven on the Ark?" Murphy coughed abruptly.
"Yeah," Finn responded. "We grew up together, started dating when we were, what? Fifteen, sixteen?"
"You dated?" Murphy asked, voice a mixture of wry surprise and irritation.
Raven choked on air. "Yeah," Finn confirmed and ran a soothing hand on her back, oblivious to the glare Murphy was sending him. "Almost five years now."
Raven shook off his hand, recovering. "Except we broke it off," she protested.
"Sure, but we're inevitably going to be together in the end, so it doesn't really matter," Finn shrugged. He took a bite of his stew that he had briefly forgotten and immediately spit it out, cursing. "Careful, Raven!" he shouted a warning, batting at her hand with her spoon.
"Did you burn your tongue?" Murphy asked slyly, hiding a mischievous smirk in his own bowl.
Finn nodded, panting slightly. "It's fucking on fire!"
Raven slid her gaze over to Murphy and took a large bite. "It's perfectly fine to me," she couldn't keep the small smile from gracing her lips. "I actually prefer a bit of fire."
The rest tried to smother their laughter; Finn just looked lost.
"Raven!" A small, teenaged girl came running over to their group, interrupting the moment. "It's all my fault! I don't—it's my…" Tears were streaming down her face.
"Hey, Fox, what's the matter? What's up?" Raven asked, immediately switching from teasing to concern.
"It's my fault. I shouldn't have said anything," the girl babbled. "Clarke…" Bellamy couldn't make out the rest of what she said. Raven turned to him looking panicked. He immediately reached out for Clarke. Locating her thought pattern, he was assaulted with anger, indignation, and a small but growing sense of fear.
Princess, what's up? He tried to keep it light, but he knew worry was running through the core of the thought.
Just the Council being the Council, the thought came back mirroring his own light, but worried tone. A pause. Could you just…stay out of my head for the next few minutes? Completely block me out? It wasn't her usually frustrated annoyance that accompanied the response, this time is was an almost pleading desperation.
Not until you tell me what's up, he returned sternly. The group around him were looking at him beseechingly. He started to notice a murmur that was spreading through the camp, people moving closer to the ship.
Octavia stood up, the group mirroring her actions. They moved with the rest of the people. Raven had placed a comforting arm around the girl. Bellamy shook his head when they looked to him to see if he had gotten the run of the situation from Clarke.
He reached out for her again, but came across a solid wall of STAY OUT!
"What's going on?" Octavia prodded the person next to them. A large crowd was gathered near the entrance of the Exodus ship by now.
The woman turned to them eagerly. "Apparently some girl helped some Mutants take off their bracelets yesterday," she gossiped eagerly. "They're preparing to shocklash her. Sinclair yesterday, this girl today. When are people going to learn that Mutants can't be trusted. Deserves it, she does."
The group exchanged looks and began pushing their way to the front of the crowd just in time to she Clarke being led out by a group of guards. They walked her to a spot between two posts. She held her head up high, but when she spotted him and the others, her eyes widened suddenly and the STAY OUT! message ceased. Don't any of you fucking do anything. She demanded. Tell them! You aren't to do anything. I don't need anyone else to get hurt for my decision or the Council's stupidity. Tell them! She demanded again.
Bellamy grabbed Octavia's arm, holding her back from where she was about to march forward. "She says, 'no.' It's not the time or the place."
"But, Bell," Octavia protested helplessly.
"She's right. We'll just get ourselves into worse if we try anything right now. We'll figure it out later."
"This is fucking bullshit," Murphy swore viciously under his breath.
Miller and Monty pushed people aside to come to join them. "Aren't we going to do anything?" Miller demanded.
Raven shook her head. "As much as I hate to admit it, Clarke and Bellamy are right. It's not the time. There's too many people and everyone's too scared and stressed from being on the ground for the first time. This is how they're trying to put order back in their lives."
Bellamy looked back to where Clarke was now secured to the posts by ropes. Someone reached for her wrist with a telltale piece of silver metal. "You put that fucking piece of shit on me again and I will take it off the second I get down. And next time you come crying to me about someone getting hurt, it'll be tough shit for them."
The man looked to where Chancellor Jaha was presiding over the events. He shook his head. "We'll need her Abilities on the ground."
Clarke scoffed and rolled her eyes. Tough as nails that woman, Bellamy though proudly. Abby approached her and tried to lay a hand on Clarke's cheek. Clarke shook her off with a harsh glare.
"I fought them, Honey. Things are different down here. I know we can't keep doing things the same way. I tried," Abby pleaded.
"Not hard enough," Clarke spat back and turned to bite the piece of leather that was being offered to her. A guard began to cut away the back of her shirt.
"Twenty lashes," Jaha proclaimed to the crowd.
A nearby observer scoffed. "That's only five for each mutant she set free. She deserves more than that."
"I need to go," Jasper said suddenly. Bellamy could sense the storm brewing at the edges of Jasper's mind.
"Should someone go after him?" Octavia asked quietly.
"I'll go," Monty volunteered. "I don't want to be here for this, anyway."
Bellamy turned to watch them push their way out of the crowd. A muffled scream of pain brought him back to Clarke. Octavia sought out his hand and squeezed it, seeking comfort. Raven held the openly crying Fox in her arms.
Bellamy tried to send encouraging support and strong resolve to Clarke, but he knew none of it was getting through. Her mind was singly focused on bearing the next lash with as much dignity and stoicism as possible, interrupted only by the sharp bite of pain when the lash came. He watched as her resolve lessoned and her legs gave out. He hated himself as he retreated back to his own mind to shut out her pain.
…
Bellamy sat with his back against the wall at the back of the Exodus ship, his pant leg wet with Clarke's tears. He gently stroked her hair.
"Clarke, are you sure you can't Heal yourself?" He asked softly.
"I can't. I've never done it before," the pained whisper came back.
Bellamy hated this more than pretty much anything he experienced before. The woman he had grown to see as a badass with impenetrable resolve was reduced to whimpering every time she shifted even slightly. He looked down to where her bare back was crisscrossed with angry red welts and burns.
"Bellamy, stop torturing yourself and stay out of my head," she ground out, though the force of the words was lessened by the fact they were muffled by his thigh. "I know you're not blocking out my pain, especially because you're half projecting it and your worry back at me."
"Sorry," he murmured, not having realized what he was doing. "Do you want me to go seek out Lexa? Have her Heal you again?" He personally hated the idea of initiating of an interaction between the two women, but for Clarke he would do it.
"No!" she objected sharply, jerking her head up and then wincing in pain. She settled back to her previous position. "I don't want her to see camp the way it is. She'll think they're not going to keep our word and then who knows what will happen."
Bellamy nodded dejectedly, seeing the logic of her thoughts; didn't make him feel any better though. Then an idea sparked in his head. The Abilities of everyone who had landed with them were evolving, Clarke's should be too. He began to quietly hum the song he knew accompanied her river. The evolution was also sudden, sometimes sparked by need. Just because she didn't Heal herself when she had been captured by the grounders, didn't mean she didn't stand a chance of doing so now. And hey, if the humming didn't spark Healing, he knew it was at the very least a calming thing for her.
She joined in with his humming and he projected his mental image of her river to her. Try, he told her. He felt her reach for it. It slipped just beyond her reach. He kept encouraging her to try again and again. Clarke Griffin is not quitter. She rolled her eyes at him, but reached for it again.
This time was different, instead of it slipping beyond her reach or through her fingers, she dove head first. Instantly he saw the harsh, bright marks on her back disappear. She bolted up gasping, clutching her shirt to her chest. She took a minute to catch her breath. "It worked," she panted. "But I definitely need to find a better way of doing it, though. Overdid it just a bit."
Bellamy sat there in shock at her sudden movements, then her words caught up with him. "Wait," he cocked a questioning eyebrow. "How do you overdo Healing? Did you make yourself invulnerable to injury or something?"
Clarke laughed brightly, her lack of pain and excitement at evolving her Ability was contagious. "No, just every small ailment is gone. I bruised my leg running into something the other day and its gone, the crick in my neck from how I was laying is fine now. Every small, little thing that was wrong is fixed. Like how it was when I first got the Ability to Heal." Her head bobbed slightly. "And now cue the exhaustion."
Bellamy smiled. "Sleep. Take a nap. I'll tell the others to get their packs together. We all wanted to go back to the dropship, but didn't want to go without you and you weren't really in a state to move."
Breathing a sigh of relief at the lack of pain, Clarke slipped on the shirt he had gotten from her pack to replace her ruined one. Bellamy averted his eyes. She lay back down, using him for a pillow again. He's comfy, don't overthink it, he heard her tell herself. He bit back a smile. She spoke aloud, calling him back to their conversation. "Wouldn't that be letting them win though. Proving they broke me?" she said the last part bitterly. "Plus, I'm too tired to hike back right now."
"I think it proves the exact opposite. That you, and the rest of us, are so pissed and so uncaring of their rules that we just up and leave regardless of what they want," he told her. "And don't worry about hiking back, I've got you," he shushed her worries.
She was already half-asleep, so the tone wasn't quite as intimidating as she probably thought it was. "Bellamy Blake, you are under no circumstances to carry me back to the dropship."
"I won't," he assured her. "If I get tired, I'm sure Miller will help. And if we can get Lincoln to meet us, he's pretty buff. Or maybe we can get Jasper to hulk out and then you just be like a little teddy bear to him."
"Don't even think about it…" her voice trailed off into sleep.
Hey, O, he projected out to his sister. Clarke Healed herself. Tell everyone we're leaving for the dropship ASAP.
Thank the gods, her response came back immediately. I'll tell the others and come to you.
No, I'll just meet you at the north edge of their camp. I think Lincoln's hovering nearby if you want to contact him however you guys do it. He had given up trying to prevent her from seeing Lincoln. And since they now had an accord with the grounders, however tentative, he knew it was even more of a lost cause.
Um, yeah. I'll do that, Octavia told him, something off in her tone.
You're with Lincoln now, aren't you? Bellamy asked, not sure how he missed the proximity of their thoughts.
Maybe… she admitted. I'll head back into camp and tell the others.
He rolled his eyes, scooping up Clarke. Don't worry about it. I'll tell them. Clarke's head settled on his shoulder and she mumbled something. He smiled down at her, glad she was no longer in pain. They'd have to figure out what to do with the Council and Abled and the grounders' accord later. But he'd leave that problem for tomorrow.
Miller, he reached out.
I hate it when you do that, Miller grumbled, jumping a little bit.
Bellamy chuckled. Clarke Healed herself, so we're going to meet you near the North edge of camp. O's with Lincoln; they'll meet us there too.
Aye, aye, Captain. Miller mock saluted.
Bellamy picked his way along the outskirts of camp until he saw Miller and the rest waiting with their packs over their shoulders. Together they moved toward the perimeter of camp.
"Where do you all think you're going?" One of the guards stopped them.
"Home," Raven sniped.
The guard looked confused, clearly not recognizing them as the group that had been sent down before. "No one is allowed to leave camp without the Chancellor's permission."
"Try us," Octavia said, appearing out of nowhere twirling a knife in her hand.
"Alright, let's get going," Murphy skidded up next to the group.
"Where have you been?" Raven asked.
Murphy flashed his trademarked smirk. "Something I had to take care of."
"Fire!" a scream came from the depths of camp. The guard looked past them, concerned.
"Yeah, you should probably go help out," Murphy suggested.
"What the fuck did you do?" Raven asked as the guard sprinted away, deciding a fire was a bigger threat that a group of young adults, one of whom was unconscious.
"Let's just say, unless they have a second batch of bracelets, they'd better hope they're fire proof," he shrugged.
"They're going to do worse than twenty shocklashes if they find out it was you," she reprimanded.
"I made it look like an accident. The Councilors are sticklers for rules, they won't be able to punish without proof. And unlike Clarke, my sense of self-preservation is still a little higher than my anger on behalf of Abled."
"Is your fire even hot enough to melt metal? Fry wires?" Raven countered.
"I don't know. I threw in some wood and leaves for kindling. They were kind of damp, but it should keep burning for a while," Murphy shrugged.
"That's just going to make a shit ton of smoke," she returned. "Wait…" A smile grew across her face. She grabbed his face between her hands and kissed him soundly. "You fucking genius!" Everyone looked at her stunned, unsure of whether the change in heart or the kiss was more astonishing.
"I know," Murphy smirked.
"What? Why?" Jasper asked.
"Even light smoke damage has the capability to short out electronics by bridging circuits and providing an insulating covering on the heat producing components making them prone to extreme overheating eventually leading to pre-mature failure." They just gave her blanks stares. "Smoke equals bad. Problems you can't see on the surface. Even if they work at first, there's a chance the bracelets will fail after a little bit, overheat."
"Murphy you fucking genius!" Octavia echoed Raven. "But you're sure as hell not getting kiss from me." Raven blushed.
"Hey," Clarke interrupted them, her voice filled with sleepy indignation. The group turned to smile at her, glad she was awake and well. Clarke paused and looked angrily at Bellamy, struggling against his hold. He set her on her feet. "I thought I said you were not allowed to carry me back to the dropship," she glared.
"Yeah, well," Bellamy shrugged and gestured for them to start walking.
Clarke shook her head and mumbled to herself "How did I not wake up until now?"
"I hear I'm pretty comfy," Bellamy couldn't help but tease.
"Asshole!" she punched him in the arm.
"So, when are you two going to finally fuck?" Murphy asked, sidling up next to them.
"Not going to happen," Bellamy told him.
Clarke scoffed and sped up to fall in step with Monty, leaving them a few paces behind.
Forever thanks to my friend, TheAmazonian, who betas, brainstorms, and BELLARKE!s with me.
BELLARKE - v. (must always be in caps lock) to squeal "BELLARKE," often in the direction of another person,
because it is your OTP and aside from "laksjdflni" it is the only way to describe your feels
And as always, reviews, favorites, and follows are without fail appreciated. Seriously, they make my day.
Also, I finally broke down and got a Tumblr (DracoTerrae9099). I really don't know what I'm doing (technologically challenged and socially awkward over here; please don't judge me). But feel free to come chat at me about Bellarke or my stories or basically anything.