To Chase The Sun
"For those who gave up too soon."
To Chase The Sun- Iland Girl
Transformers- Hasbro
Chapter 10: The Specialist
"So Ironhide," I began after the first ten minutes of silence, but I couldn't continue, because I honestly had nothing to say.
"What do you want, Fleshling?" He spat, but I just rolled my eyes as I watched the Semi truck drive in front of us.
"Nothing really, just curious on your whole input on this... predicament." I decided on my words carefully, wondering where he stood on all of this.
"Hmph, this planet is brimming with you Fleshlings, you over populate and insist on bothering me. If I had it my way I would terminate you all and start fresh." He said, sounding pretty honest. This made me smile, we weren't that different after all.
"How kind of you to spare us," I joked, my eyes half lidded as I sat there in the driver seat, watching the wheel turn back and forth in front of me. "I do have to agree that a fresh start would be favorable though."
"And lose all of your history? I thought you humans enjoyed your knowledge, all of it would be lost." Ironhide insisted, but I could tell, there was some sort of comparison to Cybertron then, the lost years that they could never get back. I shook my head though, disagreeing with him completely.
"What good is knowledge, structure, if it's corrupted? I would rather know nothing and see everything as it comes at me, then know everything and judge things when I interact with them."
"That is a foolish accusation," Ironhide said. "Knowledge is what keeps you alive it is what allows you humans to survive without armor or guidance."
"It also makes us fools, knowledge is always corrupted. If one says fire is safe to touch, should I simply follow blindly into the flames? Or perhaps I should take a cynical approach, testing the embers before they burn my flesh."
"And if you are proven a fool?"
"There is nothing foolish in learning on your own." I said, grinning. "I think it's more foolish to follow somebody blindly, don't you?"
It was quiet for a while, nothing but the rev of his engine hitting my ears. Then a soft pitter patter began, it was raining. Hard.
"I would've thought a soldier like you would've understood." He said then, making my eyes widen as I looked at the dashboard. A frown creased onto my lips, his words confounding me.
"I would've thought a soldier like you would see it my way too." I muttered, Ironhide growled in response. "What good is a leader for a war that never ends? What good is fighting when you don't know your goal? You might have your goal, to destroy the Decepticons, but with us humans it's different. We fight, but we aren't sure what it is we're fighting for. For our families, our futures? What good is fighting for it when our leaders don't have the same ideals?"
I paused, glancing up at the semi again, watching it drive through town, oddly not standing out too horribly.
"You follow Optimus Prime because you have the same goals, you accept him because he understands you, but I don't understand what my government wants. Do they really care about us, or the zeroes on their bills? I don't know, I never will know, and I never want to know because I don't fight for the same thing as them."
It went quiet again, I think I understood just why they followed Prime. He really did care about them, he trusted them as they trusted him. Yet I didn't, because I couldn't remember the last time I had felt that way about someone, following them blindly, I don't think I ever have. I've always taken things in as they came at me, not believing the words others spoke. I treated everything like a new challenge.
"That is ridiculous," Ironhide spat, making my eyebrows rise up. "We follow Prime because we want to, we trust him, yes, but we fight because we know with our own arms we can win this war. With our own strength we can do what you puny humans cannot."
"What's that?"
"We can find a solution."
A solution, the word wouldn't roll off my tongue. A solution to the war, to finding peace, how many times had I heard such words. Told through greasy smiles, lies through their teeth. We'd been told that is what all humans are searching for, a solution, an answer to all of our problems. There's just one problem, it doesn't exist. None of it does.
If an answer was always there, why are wars dominating the world? Why is man still just as ignorant as a century ago? Why are we still hiding all the lies, sweeping them under the rug, saying we're happy with what we've got. In truth, we aren't, we're miserable that we aren't better, it eats us inside, we're rotten and we hate it. Yet everyday we paint on these pretty little masks, we aren't who we say we are, never.
So why was it, when Ironhide said it with such confidence that I actually wanted to believe him? Why did it feel so, so lifting to hear such words.
Because he wasn't lying.
After years of lies, cheats, mockery, I finally heard a truth. It was because they weren't lying, that was why it was different. They wanted a solution, so painfully bad. How many years did it take them to find this though? Cybertronians are supposed to be more advanced than us fleshlings, if it took them so long, how long would it take us?
That answer stung more than it was worth.
"Well," I began, looking to my lap. A small laugh escaped me. "I hope you're right."
It'd been so long since I'd been home, ten years since I'd slept in past noon. Five years since I'd made a friend. Perhaps it was that long, listless, isolated time that made me see. They weren't different, just a step ahead is all. I felt so old, yet they were probably older, more experienced. My body trembled, it felt cold in the truck, but I didn't complain about the temperature.
"Your core temperature has dropped, are you aware?" Ironhide asked, but I just shrugged, trying to stop my shivers. He probably felt it, even though I was playing it off as nothing.
"No big deal, I'm fine."
Yet despite that, I felt the heat from the fans waft over me, a soothing sensation entering my body. I sighed, enjoying the tingling when I regained feeling in my toes. The ride home was going to be a lot longer, I supposed. Especially since I'd have to work at thanking the Autobot for doing something unnecessary for him.
"Ironhide," I began, but then I trailed off. What should I say? I mean such a simple action shouldn't be so hard to thank. Just say the two damn words and move on, but I knew I was thinking of the bigger picture, of the fact that he was listening. He was talking to me and thinking about my words, he was promising tomorrow, maybe he didn't know how much that meant, but for me, tomorrow was all I really had left.
"What is it, fleshling?" He grunted, but I just smiled, touching the steering wheel softly. The truck locked for a second, but I wasn't put off.
"Just... thanks, you've no idea how liberating it is to... to just talk." To talking without fear of being mocked, to speak your mind and know somebody is taking what you're saying seriously, at the very least on some level. It meant a lot to me, and although I didn't necessarily trust him, I was still very, very thankful.
"Hmph, you Fleshies are strange," He muttered, but I didn't bother trying to decrypt his words. The world in front of me was getting further away as I blinked a few times. I was tired, and I really wanted to sleep, but it wasn't fair the the Autobots who couldn't rest. "You should rest, after all you will have to put up with those two once we get back."
Ah right, a debriefing would be in order for the two newcomers. Although the Autobots could fill them in on most things, there were some affairs I would have to explain. I grunted at the thought, sleep sounded wonderful, but at the same time falling asleep inside an Autobot wasn't at all appealing.
"Thanks, but I think if you fell asleep I'd feel much safer if I were awake to drive you back." I teased, the old voice grunting in disapproval, it made me grin.
A while later, the headset gave off a few clicks and whirs, other sounds following it afterwards.
"What's going on?" I asked, frowning when I heard Sideswipe laughing while Ratchet and Optimus sighed. Ironhide chuckled.
"Sunstreaker wishes to know if you've spilled your nasty lubricants all over my seats yet." He said, sounding somewhere between disgusted and amused. My lip twitched into a tiny scowl for a moment before I knelt on the seats to look at the yellow Lamb behind us through the back window. His lights flashed, as though to blind me and encourage me to turn around and stop staring. My orbs just narrowed a bit more as I glared.
"You tell Sunstreaker if he wants to know so bad he should drive me back." I spat, glaring at the car. Ironhide chuckled, Sideswipe must've been listening in because he laughed too, Optimus and Ratchet both seemed unamused. Still, I heard Ironhide talking back in their language, the Lamb swerved a bit before hiding behind his brother, Sideswipe. I laughed as the silver Reventon fell in line behind Ironhide, nearly falling back on the seats.
"He doesn't approve." Ironhide said, loud chirping before and after his speech. I guessed Sunstreaker was cursing me, but I just snorted.
"Wait until we can properly communicate, he won't step on base if he pisses me off." I muttered, sitting back in the seat properly. Barely an hour had passed, how the Hell were we going to pass eight more? Better yet, why is it so damn silent?
"Hey Ironhide," I began, he grunted in return. "Can you turn on the radio? Gotta get some music pumping."
"Any requests?" He asked, surprising me a bit. Here I thought it'd be a struggle to get him to comply, perhaps he was simply tired of talking to me. Either way, I win.
"Hmmm, how about... Breaking the Habit, it's by the band Linkin Park." I offered, grinning when the song blasted over the radio. I bobbed my head a bit, hearing the tiniest of echoes. Guess a few Autobots were listening in as well. Didn't matter to me, I even sung along softly with the lyrics.
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
This was the song I listened to a few years back, this song had pulled me through some rough times. The thing about being a criminal is that nobody could ever tell you about all the pressure, but it's that very thing that gave you the drive. You can't go back, you could never be clean again, not when you're as deep as me. My hands could never be cleaned of all this poison. Not in a million years.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
When the chorus began, I was full out bouncing in my seat, raising my hands up and just being a kid. It was that moment of relaxation that let me open up, let me stretch before I had to plunge down and hide myself again.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright.
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Ironhide grunted at my movements, but I just grinned and touched the steering wheel. He didn't seem pleased, but if he really wanted me to stop he would've shut off the music.
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
The silver Reventon drove up beside us, the two lane highway making it legal to do so now. I grinned a bit, waving, but then the Lamborghini gunned it into behind his twin, driving so far up his ass that the Rev had to keep going. I rolled my eyes, this guy was a real piece of work. He rolled beside us for a moment, but then I stuck out my tongue at him. He seemed really upset, taking off after his brother who was now ahead of Optimus. There was chirps and whirs, clicks and groans, probably telling them to get back in formation. Thinking of these sensitive 'bots, I took the headset off and began to sing my absolute loudest with the song.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I curled my back, shouting to the sky as I sung along with the verse to the best of my ability, but nobody beats Chester when it comes to LP.
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one that falls
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
When the song ended, I took a short breather, putting the headset back on. Ironhide didn't stop the music though, putting other songs on from Linkin Park. Clearly the white noise was, in a very alien way, calming. Perhaps it was because he could ignore what I said and it wouldn't be overly damaging.
Before I knew it, we were down to the last hour of the drive, and thanks to not stopping for gas since they didn't need it, we'd made it even shorter than that. Just a half hour left and we'd be back! Bed! My kingdom for a bed!
The sun was shining now, it had to be close to ten in the morning. We should make it back soon, so I grinned, feeling the fatigue finally after such a long time of singing songs. Ironhide must've tuned me out somehow, because he wasn't deaf when I asked what time it was.
"We will be arriving in twenty Earth minutes." He said, so I nodded, trying my best to stay awake. It went quiet for a while, the sun's rays flowing through the windows and onto my tanned skin. I imagined all those days I used to sleep in my hammock in the back yard, overlooking the long field where the sun always ran to hide behind at night. Those days...
"What inspired you to say such a statement before?" I asked, curious as to what he meant.
"Nobody gets left behind." He said, I made a sound of acknowledgement.
"Oh yeah, that," I began, looking out the window, the sun hitting my bold orbs as I stared to the open fields. My thoughts kept running back to home, to mother and those days where I could take a car out on the dirt road. Of those days mother scolded me for flipping the cars, crashing them, busting them up just playing in them, of the days we used to ride horseback through the countryside. A small smile played on my lips before I even realized it.
"Honestly, those weren't my words," I began, but then I shook my head. "Well actually they were- I mean, it was the first lesson my Mother taught me."
"Your 'mother'?" Ironhide asked, making me raise a brow at him.
"Yeah, don't you have a mother or father?" I asked, but then it went quiet for a moment. Finally he answered after a while.
"Ah, parents, we call them Femme and Mech creators." He said calmly, I nodded with a small docile smile still. He must've searched up the meaning then.
"Yeah, well my Mother taught me a lot of things. The first rule was that no matter how small or insignificant, a life is still a life. Don't waste it on petty things." I said softly, watching the countryside again. It was quiet for a long time, we were almost at the base when he spoke again.
"You, Fleshling, are especially strange."
We pulled into the base then, I felt my stomach growling horribly then. It'd been a long time since I ate, and though I had been used to it, I was also physically exhausted which added to the stack of issues. A muffled yawn escaped my lips, but I didn't do anything more as Ironhide pulled to a stop on the tarmac.
When I hopped out, Lennox greeted us, rushing over to my side.
"We have a tiny bit of a problem." He began. Oh just fucking great, y'know I'm totally in the best mood in the world now.
"What kind of problem?" I hissed, frowning. Lennox scratched his head before smiling innocently.
"The Director of National Intelligence wants to have a meeting with you." He began, pulling me along as we began to walk. I frowned, noticing how rushed he seemed.
"When?" I asked.
"About six hours ago." He said unsteadily, jeez this DNI must be a real piece of work, who was it again? I couldn't remember a face or a name, but I must have a file. I'd searched up all need to know faces and names right after accepting the job, hoping to get some leverage. However, with how quickly Lennox was making me walk and how lacking my mind was I figured this wasn't going to go so well.
We entered the hangar, the Autobots rolling in after us. When we entered I saw a woman barking at a few of the men, but when she turned to face us I swear I just saw the second ring of Hell. She marched up to us, Lennox murmuring in my ear.
"She scares everybody, be careful," He muttered before putting on a smile and greeting the woman. "Director Mearing, welcome to our temporary base-"
"Save it," She snapped, looking me up and down. "And who is this? A wannabe salesclerk you picked up at Walmart?" She asked, scrutinizing me down to my messy braid. I snorted, raising a brow at her. She really was a piece of work too.
"If that's me then they must've found you outside of Bitches R Us." I snapped back, a toothy smirk on my face. She didn't even bother me, but I knew right then she didn't like me.
"Offending a Federal Officer? Let's see where that gets you." She said, I had to bite back exactly where it had gotten me though, it just wouldn't bode well for anybody.
"Ma'am this is the HRA, Carena Valdon, she's the one you asked to see right?" Lennox offered, trying to cool us down, but she was too big of a bitch and I was in too bad of a mood to give a damn.
"Doesn't matter where it gets me, fact is I'm right here, right now." I grunted, ignoring as the Autobots drove in the park. I could hear small clicks and whirs in the headset, some laughing too, but I was too pissed off to listen.
"You could be New Mexico in a few hours." She warned, but I just chuckled.
"You know I've never been bothered by tough chick acts."
"Oh no?" She asked, feigning surprise.
"No, you know I can see it right now with the whole 'fuck off I'm the biggest bitch in town' look going on but I can tell you this right now and be completely honest. I've had one helluva day, put up with enough jackasses to pull a train and you're not the biggest bitch here, just the one holding all the cards honey. So as much as I would love to continue this little stand off, I seriously just want to get this meeting over with." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose afterwards. My head was pounding now.
"Backbone, can't say I don't like it." She began sharply, but then she looked a little disgusted.
"Course you do, everybody likes Rena." I muttered, smirking a little bit.
"I like it because you have one after this."
"I'd love to see you try... key word try," Then I waved it off, getting tired of this. "Look can we forget the Western gun sling and get this meeting done?"
"You did say I have all the cards, I suppose we can call a temporary truce." She offered, though her poker face was amazing. I chuckled, shrugged, then began to walk with her to a different hangar. Lennox was left standing there, and when I glanced back he looked absolutely confused.
Yeah, join the club.
Hey guys, I'm so frickin tired right now, IDK if I'll get anything out again, but I'll try editing the next chapter, then again I'm practically laying on my keyboard right now... Anyways, I felt that Deni needs to bond with a few different bots, Ironhide is actually one of my favs, and I figured throwing in a little Sunstreaker would be a good idea. I am noting right now, because I can't remember if I said it before, that when I was writing Sunny and Sides, I have their models completely different for special reasons, so if you notice a car model being wrong, for the love of god, speak up will you?
Once again, thank you for all the reviews, I think I have a strange addiction to it, I get a vibration from my phone and just beam at it while I read. Love you guys, hope the weekend was awesome for you! Mine was 50/50. Friday and Saturday we kicked ass, and then Sunday (today) my horse hurt himself and we had to call it quits for a while :(. Ah well, hope you liked this!
Also, for those who don't know, Galloway wasn't the DNI, he was the National Security Advisor, but was originally something else (can't be bothered to check) and so I believe he was in a completely different position, but it had the same idea. Anyway, I read a lot of fics saying he was replaced by Mearing, but no, she was always the Director of National Intelligence.
Oh yeah, I added a song in this huh? Originally it was going to be something from LP or TDG new tracks, but then I remembered this is back in 2007, so unfortunately I decided to keep in the time frame and choice a song from then... IDK why it's even in there, it just kind of came to mind while I was writing...
Ah, someone made a comment about the title, I actually wasn't thinking of Sunstreaker when I wrote it down. In truth it was a close tie between this and 'For Tomorrow'. I had 'Chasing Sparks' and 'To Capture Daylight' and a lot of other ideas, but I wanted something that was a bit... different? Less cheesy? Yeah that sounds right. I wanted a title that spoke for Denim because I think that it does now.
For Deni, tomorrow is all she's got left. That thread of hope that tomorrow is coming. To me that's really sad, and I hope that I can believably change that, because she's forgotten the difference between living and surviving.
Okay, I've bored you guys enough, on to the review!
For the love of Primus, review!
Question of the day: Is everyone in character?
Cheers!