A/N: Eep, things are getting real out of hand now XD Well, kind of, anyway. Thankyou to my lovely fans; you give me strength! I'm not sure how much longer this story is actually going to be. I guess it's up to the boys and how much they tell me to write. I swear, I'm not the one in control here. They possess me and do what they want. I don't own LotF, but it does own me.

Jack

I watch as Roger disappears through the doorway, leaving me standing there alone. Suddenly it's so cold. And I'm panicking, because Roger means more to me than I could ever express. I know I messed up, as usual, and have no idea what to do to fix it. A shudder runs through me as the front door slams.

It doesn't take long for Ralph to find his way into the bathroom. When he does, I have my arms all wrapped around myself, like maybe I can hold myself together. He watches me for a few moments, unsure of what to say. I don't have the heart to tell him that nothing, nothing he says will matter. I don't care if he's the best damn doctor in London. No words can stop the breaking of my heart.

"Jack," he says after a long while. "I don't mean to pry, but what-"

"He left," I say flatly. Speaking the words confirms the reality of it all. Roger, my Roger, is out there all on his own, and he's angry and he's got this depression beast eating him up inside, and I cant fucking go to him because I don't know where he's gone.

I try to keep myself calm, but it's like trying to keep water dry. "Jack, we'll find him," Ralph says slowly. I cant believe him, standing here, ten years later. Like none of it ever happened, like none of it even matters. But the truth is that it does. People don't forget, not ever, not really. We cant just move on from something like that. We cant just pretend that we didn't hate each other once upon a time.

"Fuck you," I hiss. Ralph actually looks taken aback by the harsh words. He might even flinch a little. "Fuck you, thinking you can just reappear in my life."

Ralph narrows his pale green eyes at me. "You think I wanted this?" He cries desperately. "Do you honestly think I ever wanted to see you again? You've haunted me for the past ten years of my life, Jack Merridew."

My name is like a curse upon his lips. Ralph has his hands balled into little fists at his sides, trembling just so. I want nothing more than to hate him, hate him for all that he is and all that I am not. I'm not even strong enough to hold my lover together, let alone myself. Everything is falling apart, breaking into pieces right before my eyes.

And then Ralph speaks again, utters those three fucking words that cant ever be taken back. "I loved you, you know," he says quietly, very nearly inaudible. I blink a few times, wondering if maybe I've passed out and this is all just a terrible, terrible nightmare. But, no, Ralph is still standing there when I open my eyes, looking at the tiled floor that is probably still flecked with Roger's blood.

"On the island," he goes on. "How could I not? I envied everything about you. But I couldn't ever have you, not like I wanted, and I hated you for that. When we left, I thought of you constantly. Wondering if you ever thought of me. There were nights when I missed you so much I thought I might die. Sometimes I imagined you showing up at my front door, telling me how sorry you were, and that you had loved me too."

I cant believe what I'm hearing. I'm frozen in place, motionless, speechless. Ralph's hair has fallen in his face a little, so he reaches up to push it away. Because old habits die hard.

"But you never did. Then, when I came here and saw you, I thought that maybe…But, Jack. I know you love Roger. And I care for you far too much to ever come between that. So the way I see it, you can either stand here and scream at me, or you can go out and find him."

For a long while, I can only stare at him where he stands. Nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. And then, without warning, I step towards him, closing the distance between us. And I pull him into a hug. Ralph tenses up in my arms, but soon he's relaxed, and he slides his own arms around my waist.

When I pull away, we're both smiling, at least a little. "Thank you," I say with sincerity. Ralph just nods a little as I turn to leave. Everything seems a little foggy but I know one thing has never seemed clearer. And that is that in the end, everything is going to be okay. It just has to be.