Thanks for the reviews :) BTW I didn't mean stop writing altogether, just taking a weekend off. I am really enjoying writing and reading your feedback, so I will keep updating.
Robins Apartment later that Night
It had been a fun night, she was so glad that things were getting back to normal. Sure, Ted was still not thrilled about the idea of Barney and her hooking up, but at least he wasn't pouting anymore.
She thought about his ring and chuckled. She needed to come up with something witty for her ring too. It was hard to believe that they had been married for almost eight months now. It seemed like yesterday that they were standing in her living room, debating whether or not eloping was a good idea.
Robins Apartment 7 Months Prior
"And as for Ted, he never needs to know. Nobody needs to know really." Barney had persuaded her.
"Barney, this is a huge favor to do for someone, especially given your set of beliefs."
"Look Robin, I wouldn't suggest this if I hadn't thought it through. And you are right, I hate marriage! But this would be different; we both don't expect what a normal couple does when taking this step. We both don't anticipate a happily-ever-after, nor a picketed-fenced house in the suburbs. It won't confine us in any way."
Robin was too shocked to answer right away and so Barney kept going.
"You are the only girl I could ever imagine doing this with. Just think about how you reacted when you thought Ted was proposing last week. We are so alike when it comes to marriage. That's why I know it won't mess with our heads! It'll be fine."
Barney was so sure of himself. Robin thought back to the night before, and how he had promised to make her problems go away. She hadn't expected him to really act on it. At least not beyond given her a shoulder to cry on and helping her pick out a good lawyer.
She looked in Barney Stinson's blue eyes and took the leap of faith.
"Okay."
For a second the entire world seemed to stand still.
"I got us on the 9 am flight to Vegas." Barney said, breaking the silence.
It made her laugh, and the ice was broken.
Seconds later she was spinning around in her bedroom, packing for their trip.
"Do you got something white to wear?" Barney yelled from her living room.
"Well, sure a shirt or something." Robin replied, going through her drawers.
Her white summer dress caught her eye.
"DANG!" Barney had jumped off the couch when she came back into the living room.
"It'll work, right?" Robin asked.
"Work? That's the awesomest wedding dress of all times. You will be the hottest bride in Vegas." Barney came over to grab her suitcase, but Robin stopped him.
"Thank you Barney." She said, locking eyes with him.
"That's what bro's are for." He replied.
Robin had pulled him into a hug and for a minute they were just standing there.
Robins Apartment Present Time
Robin had freaked out and changed her mind silently a thousand times during that flight. They barely spoke. Barney was probably going through something similar. That's when the scotch had come into play; it had helped a lot.
She was glad that they had done it, not just because it tremendously helped her case but also because it had brought them closer together. Barney was the best friend she ever had. She could goof around with him one second, and have a heartfelt conversation the next.
He was unassuming, at least when it came to her; his bimbos were another story. He hadn't just covered all the costs, something they had argued about briefly in Vegas, but also handled most of her legal issues for her.
She had always hated guys doing things for her, always felt like she could do anything by herself. But Barney was different; he knew she could handle it herself. He had never made a big deal out of any of this; he didn't even once brought it up when they were fighting.
Yes, the decision to get married had been the right one. And it really had nothing to do with the mess they were in now. The sexual tension had been there before Vegas, the wedding might have speeded things up, but they would have hooked up sooner or later anyways.
McLarens a couple of days later
"Hey, haven't seen you in a while," Marshall greeted Robin as she slid in the booth across from him and Lily.
"I've been busy with the job hunt." Robin explained.
"And with Barney." Lily joked.
"Actually, I haven't seen him in a couple of days. He might be on a business trip, or on a banging trip."
"Ew!" Lily exclaimed disturbed.
Robin laughed; Barney would have appreciated her word play.
"Aren't you worried that something happened to him? It's not normal for people to just disappear without warning." Marshall interjected.
"He's fine." Robin answered.
"Can you at least text him and ask if he's coming tonight? We have an announcement to make." Lily and Marshall exchanged excited looks.
"Fine. By the way, where is Ted?" She asked while pulling her cell out.
"He'll be here in an hour or so, he and Tiffany went to the Empire State Building today."
"Tiffany?" Robin asked while texting.
R u coming 2night? L&M have 'exciting' news to share.
"The girl he met the other day, they seem to get along pretty well." Marshall explained.
I was going to but now…
Suck it up Stinson. If I can sit here, u can.
"Have you met her yet?" Robin asked.
"No we haven't. What did he say?"
Fine. BTW I brought u something from Guatemala.
It made Robin laugh out loud. "He'll be here."
Porn?
Lily and Marshall exchanged smiles while Robin texted.
No I am gonna keep THAT 4 myself. Cu l8r Scherbatsky.
Robin put her cell phone away and turned her attention back to Lily and Marshall.
"What?" she asked when she noticed them smirking.
"Nothing, it's just cute how you guys don't see how in love you are with each other." Lily shrugged.
Robin rolled her eyes, "I am not even going to respond to your ridiculous fantasies anymore."
"Yeah, well, just invite us to your wedding, will you?" Marshall asked.
Robin laughed and automatically brushed the necklace with her fingertips.
McLarens later that night
"I don't think Barney is coming." Lily finally said.
The evening had gone by fast. Ted had showed up with Tiffany, and they had heard every detail of their first week of knowing each other. They had ordered dinner, then a bunch of beers. Tiffany left around eleven, which had prompted a discussion about whether or not Ted should keep dating her.
Now it was almost midnight, and Barney was nowhere to be seen.
"He'll be here." Robin insisted, checking the door.
"He's probably banging some girl as we speak." Ted guessed.
"Ted?" Marshall asked, and added while tapping Robins arm, "he's probably just running late at work."
"Till midnight?" Ted asked amused.
Robin shook her head at Marshalls attempt to comfort her. "Okay, guys seriously. You got to stop acting like Barney is my boyfriend! I don't care with whom he is hooking up. Now is it really that important that he is here for your big announcement?"
"What big announcement?" Ted asked.
"Lily and I have news but we wanted everyone to be here." Marshall explained.
Robin pulled her phone out, "fine, I'll ask what's holding him."
Stinson where are u?
"Is it really that important for Barney to be here?" Ted asked.
"Yes." Marshall replied, waving Wendy over to order another round of beers.
"Just tell us. Barney won't care." Robin jumped in after Wendy had left again.
"What did he say?" Lily asked.
"He hasn't answered." Robin replied, sending Barney another text.
R u tied up in some girl's bed again?
"That's unusual for him." Marshall stated.
"10$ says he IS banging some chick right now." Ted insisted.
"Au!" He squealed a second later, Marshall had kicked him underneath the table.
"What? Robin said herself we shouldn't hold back about Barney in front of her."
"I'm with Ted." Robin said, "sex is pretty much the only thing that will distract him from his iPhone."
Lily and Marshall exchanged a sad look.
"Just tell us," Robin requested. Lily and Marshall were going to drive her insane. Thank god it had taken them so long to find out about Barney and her.
"Fine." Lily gave in.
Their expressions changed to excitement, and then they said in unison:
"We bought an apartment!"
"WHAT?" Ted asked.
"That's awesome! I didn't even know you were searching?" Robin wondered.
"Well, we are married now, it seemed like the natural next step." Marshall explained.
"Where is it?"
"Dowisetrepla." Lily explained excited.
"Dowisetrepla? Never heard of it." Robin wondered.
"Canada…" Marshall pointed at her, rolling his eyes.
"It's THE up and coming neighborhood!" Lily explained.
"When can we see it?" Ted asked.
"We will get the keys in three weeks. You will love it! It has a lot of natural lighting, two bedrooms, two baths."
"That sounds awesome! Let's celebrate!" Robin waved Wendy over to order some Champaign.
Robins Apartment later that Night
They had stayed another two hours celebrating, and imagining the good times to be had at the new apartment. Barney never showed up, nor did he reply to her texts. Robin couldn't care less; Barney could take care of himself, well most of the time anyways. He would show up eventually.
The alcohol helped her fall asleep quickly, but also slowed her reaction when someone climbed into bed with her, removing her blanket.
"Barney? What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Robin asked dozily.
"I had a bad day at work…I need to blow off some steam…just…okay?" Barney asked while pulling her pajama pants down.
"Jesus Barney." She muttered.
"You don't have to do anything… just lay there and try to go back to sleep." He sounded not at all like himself and Robin started to get concerned.
"Go back to sleep? You clearly have never had sex with yourself." She tried to lighten the mood.
"This won't be any good." Barney stated matter of factly.
It wasn't. It was rough and fast.
Afterwards Barney pulled her into his arms and whispered, "I'm sorry".
He didn't let her go which was completely out of character for him. Usually they never cuddled.
"Don't worry about it, okay?" Robin replied and snuggled up to him.
"You wanna talk about it? I know you never talk about work but I promise I won't tell anyone … or judge you."
"It's not about work." Barney whispered while tenderly kissing her shoulder.
"What's it about then?" She asked.
He didn't answer right away and she prompted him once more.
"Us." He said it so quietly that she wasn't even sure she understood him correctly.
"Us?" She asked.
He pulled his head back and finally said, "I got a call from the Bureau of Consular Affairs. They are investigating us."
"What? Why? I mean on what ground?" Robin was completely awake now.
"Visa fraud."
"But you said you took care of it, that no-one would ever question our case?" Robin started to panic.
"I did Robin." Barney replied annoyed. He let it stand by itself before continuing:
"That idiot got used to the money but clearly neither him nor the other couples knew much about concealing it. He has lost his job and is being investigated. They are rolling all his cases back up."
"Barney this is bad. What if they uncover that you paid him off?" Robin asked.
"Relax. They will never find out about that. I am not an amateur, Robin."
"But what about that guy? He could probably reduce his sentence by selling us out, right?"
"Are you even listening Robin? I have bribed people and countries for most of my career. This is bullet proof. They will never uncover the financial transactions and the money is paid out on an installment basis. He only received a lump sum and the first payment so far. There are three more payments outstanding, one every six months. The last one, two years after the wedding date, is the biggest. He lost his job, you don't really think he will pass on this money?"
Robin was stunned. "Wow, you really did know what you were doing."
"I've made it very clear to him that as long as we can file a request to remove the conditional LPR status and it's approved he will get his money. No matter what else happens."
"What's the conditional LPR status?" Robin asked. She knew that Barney had bribed some guy to speed up the paperwork but not that there were complications and approvals pending.
"It's the law that when a US citizen marries a foreigner it has to be based on good faith. So to make sure it's not a sham Congress has written a provision that makes the marriage conditional for two years. To remove that status you have to file a request with the government. To get it approved we would pretty much have to present evidence that we are truly married. Part of the deal was that he would approve it, no questions asked."
"But now someone will ask questions," Robin concluded.
"It's actually worse than that. They went through his cases and started to investigate the most suspicious ones. Ours was an easy pick; we eloped in Vegas, we don't live together, our paperwork went through surprisingly quick and clean… ." Barney stated.
"And today they called to inform you about it?" Robin asked.
"Well, they called to inform me that they had some questions and wanted us to come in. I found out the rest by paying someone to snoop around and read our file."
Robin was stunned. Yes she always figured that Barney had a dubious job but how easily he dealt with this so far made her realize that he was probably making all this money by doing something illegal.
He cuffed her head with his hands, "look Robin, I will take care of this, okay? Thankfully you fake married me and not Ted, he would have crumbled already."
"What happens if we get convicted?" Robin wanted to know.
"I promise you it won't come to that." Barney repeated.
"Yeah but I need to know. What's the worst that could happen Barney?" Robin insisted.
"In the impossible event of us getting convicted they would send you back to Canada, without the possibility of re-entry."
"And you?"
"Worst case? Jail. But as I said Robin, I would never let it come to any of that." Barney kissed her and when she didn't kiss him back he stopped and tried to reassure her once again.
"Baby, trust me. I am the master of the possimpible. I will handle this."