Reason to Live
By mihoyonagi
Chapter 11
We pulled into the bustling port town of Costa del Sol at sundown, having spent nearly the entire day on the road. What should have taken hardly eleven hours had easily turned into an eternity, considering the shape of the road. Yuffie, thankfully, refrained from complaining, knowing full well that her only other alternative would be the High Wind. Her stomach simply wouldn't allow it, and I was thankful for it; it wasn't in me to bother Cid or the rest of his crew so that we might hitch a ride halfway across a continent we were perfectly capable of traversing on our own.
Still, I could tell with the way she fidgeted as soon as we began nearing the city how bored she was.
Few words had been spoken between us since the night before, and I wasn't sure how completely to take it. I seemed to have upset Yuffie, but considering it had been my rather sensitive past she'd commented on without aplomb, it should have been me who was pissed off.
I still refrained from speaking too much, somewhat glad for the silence. The radio in the buggy refused to pick up any kind of signal, so my wish of decent music – if any at all – had been dashed. That only added to the odd silence that stretched between us when the batteries in Yuffie's music player had run dry.
People were already lined up in the streets – vendors and tourists alike – ready for the winter solstice celebration. We'd missed the display of goods and good cheer today, but I could tell Yuffie was still itching to have a good time.
I found myself glad over the prospect of her not quite being old enough to drink. That would have been a headache waiting to happen, literally and figuratively speaking.
"I hope we can still get a hotel room." Yuffie was practically bouncing up and down in her seat. Her smiled made me relax a little; she might have been mad at me, but at least now it was less so.
"I'm sure we can find something to accommodate us."
We parked the buggy and took our bags from the backseat, quickly making our way to the inn.
Smiling brightly, the inn keeper greeted us. "Need a room?"
Yuffie was off, starring at the assortment of rare and precious things that littered the shelves of the inn front. Her eyes, wide with excitement, reminded me that I needed to deter he from playing pickpocket on our little vacation.
"Come," I bade her, after I'd paid the keeper his fare for the few nights we'd be staying.
Grabbing her bag, Yuffie followed me up the stairs.
"Need I remind you that nothing from this town that you do not purchase is to go into your pockets?"
She made an offended sound.
"I'm a ninja, Valentine; not a thief."
"I'm sure Cloud would beg to differ. Dare I remind you of the fun we had the first time we visited Wutai with you in tow?
"Oh, whatever. You're just pissed off because you didn't notice your materia was gone before it was too late, making me better at stealth."
I cleared my throat. "I'm serious. I'm taking you home if I so much as think you stole something, understand?"
"What are you; my keeper? I'll be good, I swear. Ninja's honor, and all that fun stuff."
Refusing to argue further, hoping that she'd understood the stress I'd put on her being good while we were here, I turned the key to the room and clicked the light on.
"Oh, why, Vincent- you devilish thing you! Only one bed? My, my; you had high hopes for this weekend, what with-"
"I told you in the car, Yuffie," I interjected her mockery of me. "I don't need sleep like a normal human. You'll take the bed, and I'll simply use the couch and read while you sleep. Besides; we save money only renting a room with one bed, versus a room with two. I'm not made of money, you know."
She still was smiling slyly when I turned around to face her, and I dismissed her silly attitude and notions with a roll of my eyes.
"Most of the shops are closing, but you're welcome to go out and catch what you can while you still have time."
She stretched her arms out, above her head. "Sitting in that dumb car made my back hurt. I'm gonna get some sleep, but I'll be up bright and early, don't you worry!" She skipped off to the bathroom, pajamas in one hand, toothbrush in the other.
I slumped down onto the couch. As I pulled my book out of my bag, I pondered just what I'd managed to get myself into.
When Yuffie woke up – a little less bright, and quite later than she'd informed me the night before – she dressed and promised to be back before midnight.
I shrugged it off, slightly uncaring. I knew full well, from the punch I'd received when she had first hunted me down after our adventure in the crater, that she was more than capable to fend for herself. She hadn't asked me for money, so I assumed she'd brought some of her own. Assumed, however, could also be translated as 'hoped to dear, great Leviathan', considering she was, at least in the presence of good materia, a klepto.
The last thing I wanted to do was get her ass out of trouble simply because at the age of seventeen she'd failed to grasp the concept of keeping one's hands to themselves.
It was well into the evening, just as the sun was setting, before I moved myself from my position on the couch and made my way into town, hoping there was at least one stall with decent Wutain cuisine. The winter solstice celebration was one that the nearly every culture on Gaia held as dear, as it ushered in a new year. It's when people prayed to their gods, be they of every conceivable religion, for good fortune and health. Or, if you weren't into the religious aspect of the ceremonies, it was a great excuse to get shit-faced drunk.
Me? I just wanted decent Wutai egg flower soup.
I spotted her haunched over a barstool set up outside a food vendor's cart.
"Man, that's the best shit I've tasted I all damn day!"
I stood behind her, watching and waiting.
"I mean it. You should, like, sell it or something."
Oh, summons and angels; she was drunk.
Somehow, I knew that because I had thought of it – because I had been thankful that she was too young to drink, legally – she was bound to get plastered.
"Yuffie." My voice wasn't questioning; it was deep and irritated.
She spun around, nearly taking me down with her; she'd tripped on her wooden sandal and had pushed her face, less than delicately, into my chest.
Her eyes grew wide when she finally looked up at me. Then, she smiled.
"Hey, Vinnie! What's up?"
Vinnie? Oh, shoot me now.
No, scratch that; shoot her.
I looked over her head and gave the food vendor an apologetic look. "Two bowls of egg flower soup, and two hot teas to go, please."
He gave us a strange look, gazing first at my underage and very drunk companion, then up to me.
I bet he thought I was a vampire, too. That seemed to be everyone's favorite thing for me to be. I shoved at him a handful of gil that was more than sufficient, and put my hand on Yuffie's shoulder as I waited for our food.
"You're coming back to the inn, Yuffie."
She made a sour, sad face at me. "But Vinnie- I was just telling this guy that his food is some kind of great. He let me try some fried eel, and damn was it yummers!"
She was making up words now. Wonderful.
I patted her on the head.
"It's almost dark out, Yuffie. You said you'd come back with me, remember?"
Her face fell blank, as if she really was trying to remember. "Did I?"
Of course she didn't.
"Of course you did."
"All right. You're a good man, coming to find me like this."
The vendor handed me a bag with our food inside, and I smiled at him, grudgingly. "And you're a bad girl, getting drunk like this."
She sighed as I took her elbow, leading her back through the throng of people that decorated the city streets. "I know. I was only gonna drink one. But they were so yummy, I couldn't stop."
"I'm sure they were. Now you know better."
She clutched her stomach. "Or at least I will. Man, I feel like I'm gonna barf."
I hurried her up the stairs of the inn, hoping her stomach could keep down the alcoholic cacophony that was brewing within until we could get near a toilet.
She made it, but not by much.
I knew she didn't have to worry about herself. She was a martial artist, after all. But, I hadn't thought her sweet tooth would have been her downfall.
Resigned, knowing that scolding her while she was already having an intense argument with her stomach (and losing horribly) wasn't the best course of action, I leaned against the bathroom sink and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
When she was finished, I led her to bed and made her choke down a few aspirin. She was not going to be happy when she woke up, and I was going to be even less happy than she, considering I was going to have to deal with her hangover and the mess of grumpy attitude that I was certain would accompany. At least the medicine would dull her headache and help her sleep for a while.
I finished my book that night, unsatisfied. Happy endings always bothered me, I suppose because I mostly didn't believe in them. The hero wins at the end, and no one gets hurt?
Are you kidding me?
I knew a hero. Hell, I'd fought along side him. I'd seen the hurt in his eyes when we lost one of our own along the way; I'd felt it myself. None of us would be normal, or at least the way we used to be, ever again.
Even Yuffie had changed drastically since the first time I'd met her. She covered her hurt with sarcasm, and hid her tears behind a cheeky grin. Still childish though she may be, she'd done the most growing up along our journey. She'd had to; I don't think her mind could have taken the depth of the world, death, and the horrors that populate the planet had she not.
Speak of the devil.
She stirred, lifting a hand to her forehead and groaning.
"I feel like I've been run over by a heard of Chocobos."
"You might as well have been, with the amount of alcohol I'm sure you consumed last night."
"Hey, that wasn't my fault. The guy at the bar told me I was cute. I had to take the drink he bought me; it's an insult, otherwise."
"Insult or not, you're lucky I found you when I did. You shouldn't buckle just because a man commented on your looks."
"Oh, plug it, Valentine. It's hard for me to gain any attention at all, let alone enough for someone to throw me a compliment and mean it. I took the drink because he meant it when he called me cute. I took the second and third one because they tasted damn good."
I was growing impatient. "You took a drink because a man complimented you?"
She sighed. "I don't get nice comments about my looks very often."
"Yuffie, you can't-"
"Can you just tell me that you're disappointed in me and get it over with? You're not my father; I don't have to explain myself to you. Yes, thank you for bringing me back last night. No, I'm not ashamed for having fun and trying to feel good about myself."
I bit my lip, keeping myself from snapping at her.
If compliments she wanted, she needed to start off by changing her attitude. Still, it seemed that there was some minor self-esteem issue I shouldn't have brought up. Perhaps it would be best to change the subject.
"I'm not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the trip, understand?"
"Yes, dad." Her voice was sarcastic and harsh.
"Go back to sleep."
She rolled over and gave me the cold shoulder. At least she had done as I'd told her. Eventually, I heard her breathing even out. The steady rise and fall of her chest let me know she was already back in dreamland.
It was ten in the morning when I took one of the containers of egg flower soup from the fridge. The hot tea I was somewhat looking forward to had turned stone cold, but it was better than drinking nothing. I sat on the bed next to Yuffie, nudging her with my elbow.
"You need food," I informed the groggy being that gazed up at me from the mess of blankets.
She sat up, slowly, and took the container of soup from me with both hands. There were bags under her eyes, and I'm sure she had a headache, but she'd slept most of her hangover out. It was, as awful as it sounded, a good thing she'd thrown up the night before. In doing so, she'd expelled a large amount of alcohol from her system, thus purging her body of it.
When he was finished sipping her soup, without complaining that it was cold even once, she handed me back the empty cup and sighed, dejected.
"I'm sorry."
I looked down at her, still slightly disappointed in her choices. "You could have really been hurt, Yuffie. Or worse; who is to say what those boys who got you drunk were really after."
She grimaced. "I know. I'm sorry."
"I don't want to see you that drunk again."
She nodded, taking the cold tea from me and drinking it slowly.
"Can we go out tonight?"
"Interested in seeing the firework display?"
She shuffled a little, sipping down more cold tea. "Yeah. Fireworks at the solstice are huge in Wutai. It's one of the few things I actually miss."
I was silent a moment, contemplating. She was asking me if I'd accompany her, which, for Yuffie, was quite the invitation. Even while living with me, she mostly kept to herself, either in her room or doing whatever the hell she wanted. True, she was a decent companion while we were in the same room – or at least a decent percentage of the time – and she held her own on the battlefield, but, for the most part, Yuffie was much like me; a bit of a loner.
"We can go out, but you won't leave my side."
I wasn't her father, and I wasn't about to punish her with some silly grounding bullshit, but I figured forcing her to stay in my company through the night would annoy her and put my mind to rest.
"Alright."
I was pleased she wasn't going to argue with me.
We spent the morning watching basic cable in the hotel room, Yuffie bundled up and happy that there was something to entertain her and I pleased to switch between reading my book and catching glimpses of whatever was on TV. I was somewhat pleased, though I don't think I'd ever admit it out loud, that Yuffie picked Discovery World over whatever useless sitcoms that polluted the other channels. We spent a good hour engrossed in a documentary that featured the brand new, state of the art hospital that had just opened up in Mideel. One of the head doctors was a man named Rej, who kept reiterating what a magnificent place it was. Despite his flattery, I didn't suspect him of being the kind of man that used it to up his paycheck.
Yuffie showered after the credits had rolled, and I was relieved to see her up and walking around. Though I was rather sure she still harbored some level of headache, she wasn't one to let something as trivial as pain stop her from having fun; that's simply how she was.
She came out in a traditional Wutain kimono, tough her skirt was cut to her knees, and did a little twirl for me. The cloth was the same color as her eyes. "How do I look?"
It took me a moment to formulate a reply to her question, because, as luck would have it, seeing Yuffie in something other than tank tops and jeans, or shorts of the weather permitted it, was enough to cause me to stop and actually think about it.
She looked like a young woman, strong willed and intelligent; unlike the stubborn, selfish deviant I'd come accustomed to.
"You look nice." It was lame reply, but a decent one. She smiled at me and pulled up her tabi socks to the middle of her calves, easily slipping on her wooden sandals as well.
"No traditional dress for you? Where are you from, anyway?"
Again with her innocent questions I lacked happy answers for.
"My mother was Wutain, but died was I was younger. My father and I didn't get along well. Tradition doesn't spread far in a somewhat broken home."
Yuffie scrunched her face. "You are so depressing, you know that?"
I shrugged. "You asked, I answered; what else do you want from me?"
She loosened her face, sighing. "Not to be so depressed all the time. You're worse than Cloud sometimes, you know that?"
I could sense her humor, and her wish to lighten the mood. "There are no longstanding traditions in my family. Is that better?"
"It'll do, I guess."
She adjusted the obi that was wound tight around her tiny waist and tucked her coin purse into her sleeve. "Alright, let's go have some fun!"
Despite myself, I had fun. Not a lot, but enough for the trip to be memorable without having only a single drunken escapade to remember it by. Yuffie, leading the way the entire time, forced foreign foods down my throat from the different vendors, and borrowed gil from me to play the carnival games set up along the roads. She managed to win a little black chocobo plushie from the ring-toss game, which she held over her head in triumph as if she'd slain the Midgar Zolom herself.
We sat on the beach, watching the fireworks at midnight, as we shared a cherry-flavored bowl of shaved ice.
Yuffie reached over, chocobo plush in hand, and had the little thing give me a kiss on the cheek. She accompanied with a sweet kiss sound. "For all the shit I give you, you're a nice guy, Valentine. Boco and I mean it."
And it hit me.
I'd never been able to relax so willingly with someone in my company before. With Yuffie, my defenses were down and my wit, unavoidably, was up. Even with Lucre-
No. Those times were gone. I wasn't going to let my past be my ruler. What happened had happened and, and even though I didn't much believe in them, we had managed a somewhat decent happily ever after. We all missed Aerith, but we all would move on. The planet would turn, the sun would rise anew, and, despite our griefs, the days pass. Little victories, no matter how little they really are, still deserved to be counted.
The cosmos don't stop when we do. Even if our lives change the world around us, time never stops to mourn.
I looked at Yuffie, and realized that despite her selfishness; her childishness; her dry sarcasm and made up words; her kleptomania; she was the only reason I hadn't killed myself all those months ago.
And I started to admire her for it, with what little warmth my heart had left.
I smiled, mostly to myself, and whispered into the night. "You're not so bad yourself."
Under the din of the fireworks, I doubt she heard me.