Chapter 11
I hate spending the night alone in that hospital bed, I hardly sleep at all. I spend most of the night lying on my stomach, pressing my face into the pillow, trying to will sleep to take over. My mind keeps wandering back to Diane and whether I'll see her again. She keeps insisting that she's gonna try to get clean, that she misses me, but I'm still too scared to let myself believe her.
I try to avoid thinking about Desi, and instead keep my focus on Piper. I'm so fucking relieved she went home with Irene tonight. I know that she'll be safe there, and hopefully I can be there with her tomorrow night.
I don't even realise it's the next morning until I'm woken up by Piper kissing me on the cheek. I slowly open my eyes and see her looking down at me with a smile.
"Morning."
"Hey Pipes," I can't help but smile and pull her into another kiss, and I sigh in pure relief. Just like I did last night, I shuffle across in the hospital bed and invite her to lie next to me. I rest my head against her chest as soon as I can.
"How did you sleep last night?"
"Not great."
She pulls me in closer and starts running her fingers up and down my arm. I've already closed my eyes, feeling more relaxed than I did all night.
"Try and sleep now. Irene's parking her car and your mum is coming later."
I let myself sink into her body, and I can feel myself slowly falling asleep.
0-0-0-0-0
Irene walks into the hospital room a few moments later and sees me cuddling Alex while she sleeps.
Even though Irene knows we're a couple, I still feel the need to explain my actions.
"She didn't sleep much last night."
Irene still looks exhausted after last night and sits in one of the chairs, "I'm not surprised."
"What's gonna happen to her?"
Irene looks genuinely sympathetic, but I need to know what the plan is. She still hasn't said anything to me about Desi, and I'm not willing to keep waiting.
"I honestly don't know sweetie. I need to go to work once I get you two back to my place."
I pull Alex in a little closer without even realising, "Will he be there?"
She leans forward in the chair, "Yeah, so will the police and my bosses."
"So what happens after today?"
"I don't know, it's not up to me."
That part scares me, the fact that any final decisions will be made by people that don't know any of us.
"They can't send her back there?"
Irene stands up and walks towards me, putting a hand on my shoulder, "Try not to worry about what you think might happen. You know I'll be doing everything I can to make sure you're both safe."
She manages to find enough space to sit on the edge of the bed, and there's one more thing I need to say.
"I don't want to be separated from her."
She gives me a look that says she understands, "I know."
0-0-0-0-0
Five years earlier
Irene had been visiting us for the last three months. I always looked forward to her visits, it was nice to have someone else to talk to. Dad hated her, and mum just got sad whenever I talked about her.
Things are pretty bad right now, dad hasn't been home in days and mum sleeps all the time. I'm glad when Irene finally gets to the house, it gives me someone to talk to.
She gives me a big smile as soon as I open the front door, and let's me lead her into the backyard. The inside of the house is so messy, I spend most of my time outside.
"Are you home alone today?"
I shake my head, "No, mum's asleep, I'm not sure where dad is."
"So tell me how you've been?"
The truth is that I'm scared, things have gotten really bad at home. I just look down at my shoes and ignore the question.
We both sit down on the grass and she puts an arm around my shoulders. The cigarette burns still hurt, but I never told my mum about it. I'm not sure why I never told her, probably because she's always asleep, it's like she doesn't care about anything except for the stupid needles dad gives her when he finally comes home.
Irene notices me flinch and groan, "Are you okay?"
I shrug my shoulders and start ripping up what's left of the crappy grass.
"Sweetie, you can tell me if something's wrong."
But I keep ignoring her and there's a growing pile of ripped up grass in front of me.
"What if I take you out for lunch today? When's the last time you ate?"
"Yesterday, but I'm not really hungry," The truth is that I don't want to go out, I want to make sure I'm here when mum wakes up.
"You need to eat Alex."
I shrug my shoulders again, there's nothing I can say to that.
"What about school? How's that going?"
"I haven't been this week."
I'm not stupid, I can see all the worry on Irene's face. It doesn't help that the house is a dump and mum won't wake up.
"Why haven't you been to school?"
I keep ignoring her, staring at the grass in the hope that I can disappear.
"Alex, I'm worried about you."
She moves closer to me and puts an arm around my shoulders again. I know she's just trying to be kind, but it hurts a lot and all I can feel is the pain and stinging from the still healing burns. This time I pull away violently and wince, tears stinging my eyes no matter how badly I try to control it. I get up and start pacing around the yard with tears rolling down my cheeks.
She doesn't waste any time walking after me and making me look at her.
"Alex, do you remember why I've been visiting you?"
"To make sure I'm okay?"
"Exactly, I'm here for you, whatever you need. But it's not okay if someones hurt you, I want to make sure you're okay. You can trust me Alex, we're friends right?"
I know we're friends, but that doesn't make the truth any easier.
"Is someone hurting you?"
I nod, but I can't bring myself to look her in the eye.
"Where are you hurt? Your back?"
I nod again, still not ready for words.
"Can I look?"
I turn around and let her look under my t-shirt, bracing myself for her reaction. I expect her to be angry, but instead she sounds heartbroken.
"When did this happen?"
"I dunno, it's been happening for a while."
I can see her trying to gather herself as she lets go of my t-shirt and steps in front of me.
"Sweetie, I want you to go to your room and pack some clothes."
"Where are we going?"
"First we'll see a doctor and then you're coming back to my house."
Irene puts an arm around me and leads me to my room. I honestly feel relieved, but I'm still scared to leave mum. Dad won't look after her, and she definitely can't look after herself.
I go to find Irene once I'm done packing, I find her in mums room, trying to wake her up. I stay standing in the doorway, mum is lying on a mattress on the floor, I can see the needles next to Irene's feet. She doesn't wake up, it will be hours before she wakes up again.
I can't bring myself to say goodbye, so I follow Irene outside the house, staying completely silent.
0-0-0-0-0
Present day
"How are you feeling kid?"
I wake up, startled, I didn't even realise I'd fallen asleep. I look around the room and see Diane sitting next to my bed.
"Irene and Piper went to grab some coffee, I just got here. So, how are you feeling?"
"Okay, just tired."
"Why don't you try getting some more sleep?"
I'm so sick of everyone telling me to sleep or rest, I need to talk. I'm not a kid anymore, and I want the truth.
"Are you sticking around this time?"
She looks hurt, maybe even ashamed. "Alex, yeah, I'm sticking around. But I might be gone for a little while, I'm gonna try rehab."
I can't believe what I'm hearing, "Are you being serious?"
She nods, "Yeah. I can't promise that there won't be setbacks, but I need to try. If it means I can get you back one day..."
Did she really just say that? After 5 years with Desi, the idea of living with her seems like a dream.
0-0-0-0-0
I finally get to leave the hospital later that day. Both me and Piper are going back to Irene's house, at least I know I can relax there. Diane goes home, promising to stay in touch, but I still don't want to get my hopes up.
Between Irene and Piper, I'm being told to take it easy every five minutes. We end up having a late lunch in Irene's kitchen before she needs to to go work.
"I'll try make sure I'm not home too late. But if I am, there's plenty of stuff for dinner. Alex, do not go anywhere tonight, you need to keep resting."
Piper chimes in, "I'll make sure she takes it easy."
"Thanks Piper," Irene gives her a smile and gets her things together for work.
Piper clears the lunch dishes and Irene says goodbye as she runs out the door.
"Wanna come lie down with me?"
I can't think of anything better and follow Piper into the spare room where we'll be sleeping. It's the same room I slept in when I was first taken away from my parents. It felt a lot bigger back then. I imagine a lot of kids have probably spent time here over the years. It's got eveything you could need, a double bed, bedside table and a small chest of drawers. There's not much space, but it feels cosy, it feels safe.
Piper pulls back the covers and gets in, "It's my turn to be the big spoon."
I smile at how cute she is and get in the bed next to her. I shuffle over until my back is pressed firmly against her front and she slips her arm around my body.
I'm not sure how long we've been sleeping before Piper starts whimpering in her sleep. I rub her arm to try and calm her down, but it doesn't work.
I start gently running my fingers over her cheek, "Pipes, it's okay, you're with me."
It takes a few moments, but her eyes slowly start to open, it breaks my heart to see how scared she looks. I know she's had a bad dream, but I don't want her to ever feel scared when she's with me.
Her breathing gets quicker and I keep touching her cheek, "Hey, you're with me, everything's okay."
I lean down and brush my lips against hers, "Pipes, talk to me."
She finally snaps back to reality, but I can still see fear in her eyes.
"I had a bad dream, about my mum."
"What happened?"
"There's not much to say. It was the day I got taken away. She was so mad, she slapped me, she pushed me, then my dad eventually got in between us."
I don't want to push her for more info so I just keep hugging her,
"I was so tired of her not believing me, I took a photo of my dad kissing another woman. He wasn't even trying to be subtle, I saw them kissing outside his office. I forced my mum to look at it and she freaked out."
Piper's voice just sounds tired. She's not crying, I think she's probably got no tears left for that particular memory, I know that feeling.
"I'm sorry Pipes, you didn't deserve that."
"My dad stopped her, but she was so out of control. He called the police, she pushed me again and I tripped, cut my cheek when I fell. The rest is a blur, the police came, they took me to Irene, then she brought me to Desi's house."
My mind wandered back to that first night we met. I remember how scared she looked, the cut on her cheek, her sleeping in my bed.
"I told the cops everything that had been happening at home, they took me to see a doctor, I think that was the hardest part. I still haven't seen my dad since that night."
Her story almost makes me angry, why do people have kids and then treat them like shit?
"I'll always watch out for you Pipes."
She whispers in my ear, "I know."
0-0-0-0-0
It's after dinner and Irene still isn't home. Alex sits and sketches after dinner while I read a book, we're both sitting on the couch.
I look up and notice her staring at me, she smirks and goes back to drawing.
"Are you drawing me? Let me see!"
I crawl into her lap but she puts the sketch book on the floor behind the couch, out of my reach.
We're both smiling, "Patience is a virtue Pipes, I'll show you when I'm happy with it."
"That's not fair."
I lean forward and brush my lips against hers. Every kiss with Alex makes me feel warm, and this particular kiss gets heated very quickly. I'm lying on top of her now and I don't even realise I've started pressing my hips into her. Not until I feel her hands on my hips, helping to steady me.
I let her slip her tongue into my mouth and I can't help but moan at the feeling. I want to let her take control of things, and she seems to be feeling a lot more comfortable than she has in the past. She keeps kissing me and moves one hand from my hip, slowly running her fingers underneath my t-shirt and over my chest. She pulls back for a moment and our eyes lock while she keeps running her hand over my bra, gently rubbing, every move is deliberate.
I brush a few strands of long black hair from her face, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just needed to look at you."
That familiar warmth runs through my body again and I lay down on top of her. I hum as she runs her fingers through my hair and rubs my back. It's not sex, but it's a different type of intimacy. It's the type of connection I know my parents never had with each other. The type of intimacy that will always draw me back to Alex.
0-0-0-0-0
It's almost 10pm by the time I drag Alex to bed. She's had a headache for the last hour and I want to make sure she sleeps.
I have to share a room with Alex at Irene's house, which I'm more than happy with. We're lying together in the double bed, and as usual I'm resting my head against Alex's chest. She's just fallen asleep while I ansentmindedly run my fingers up and down her body. I'm not even thinking when I slip my hand underneath her tank top, I want to touch her skin. She makes the quietest noise when I start running my fingertips over her bare stomach, but she doesn't wake up.
I've got enough presence of mind to not cross any lines, never slipping my hand below her belly button. But I still think about having sex with her. I want to be the first person she ever sleeps with, I want to be the only person.
I slowly move my hand further up until my fingers are tracing over her chest.
The smallest smile spreads across her lips, "That tickles."
I move my hand back down to her stomach and snuggle into her as close as I can.
"What should we do tomorrow?"
I love it when she runs her fingers through my hair, it's the simplest of gestures but means alot.
"Hmmm, what if we go to the movies? I haven't been in ages."
"Yeah, that sounds nice, a movie date."
"I haven't taken you on a proper date yet."
"No, you haven't."
"I'll ask Irene in the morning."
She pulls me in even closer and kisses the top of my head. I close my eyes and try to imagine us in a different life. It's a life with no abuse, no foster care, none of the bad things. We're just two normal teenagers, we meet eachother at school and start dating. There's no danger, no worry, just us. We go out on dates, I introduce her to my parents, we're happy. She gets along with my brothers, maybe we even have Christmas together. One day, I want all of those things. I'll make sure we have those things.
We keep lying there, relaxing, and my mind keeps wandering to Diane. Alex has never said much about her, other than the drug use.
"So, what was your mum like when you were growing up?"
It takes her a while to respond, "She was great when she wasn't high, but that wasn't very often."
I know this is hard for Alex to talk about, but I want to know more.
"What did you guys do together?"
"Nothing fancy. The main thing I remember is getting ice cream together and just walking around the neighbourhood."
"That sounds nice."
"She'd always ask me where I wanted to go for a holiday. For a while, when we were out of the house, we could plan all these trips even though we knew they'd never happen, but it didn't matter."
I lean up on my elbow and look down into her green eyes, "I'll take you on a holiday one day."
There's that smirk again, "Oh yeah, and where are you taking me?"
"Anywhere you wanna go."
0-0-0-0-0
I'm so grateful I finally had a really good sleep, but Piper isn't next to me when I wake up the next morning. I stay in the shorts and t shirt I slept in, and wander into the kitchen where Piper and Irene are making breakfast.
"Morning Al," Piper kisses me as soon as I walk into the kitchen, and guides me to sit down.
"Do you want some toast?"
I nod before turning my gaze to Irene, "What happened at work last night?"
"There was a lot of discussion, but it's not over yet. Both of you will stay with me for now. They want to interview both of you before making any decisions."
I assumed her bosses would interview us eventually, "What about Desi?"
"They're speaking to him too, I saw him last night."
"What did he say?"
Irene reaches across the small table and grabs my hand, "Don't worry about that yet, just focus on getting better."
"You know that's not gonna happen."
At least she's able to smile, "Yeah, I guess so. Alex, I've known you since you were 9 years old, I've watched you grow up, and I know you like having all the information. But I also know that you do a shitty job of looking after yourself when you're stressed out. So just enjoy today, hang out with Piper, have fun. I will tell you everything you want to know tomorrow."
I'm annoyed because I know she's right, "Fine, can we at least go out today? We wanted to go see a movie."
"Not today Alex, please just rest for a couple days, then you guys can go to the movies. I want both of you to take some time to catch your breath. Do we have a deal?"
"Fine," I walk over to the other side of the table and give Irene a hug. I haven't hugged her in a long time, I don't know where I'd be without her, I want her to know that it means something to me.
She squeezes me tight, "There's plenty of dvds you can watch."
I can tell she wants to keep the mood light, "You know I appreciate it all, right?"
"I know."
0-0-0-0-0
I go to school the next day while Alex stays home. Irene still hasn't said much about what Desi said or what will happen to us.
I struggle to concentrate all day, there's too much going on in my life right now for me to stay focused on European History.
I'm wandering down the hallway to my next class when I see Ms Mendoza walk into her office. I can't let this opportunity pass me by. She needs to know all the bulshit she caused. I follow her into the office and close the door behind me.
"You promised not to say anything! You almost got her killed!"
"Sit down Chapman! You're the student here, remember that. You don't get to burst into my office and start yelling."
Ms Mendoza is standing next to her desk with her arms crossed, "Now, let's start again, like civilised people."
We both sit on opposite sides of her desk and state each other down.
I try to keep my voice calm, "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone."
"Yeah, that was before Desi Piscatella called me to ask how Alex's first day had gone."
"You didn't need to tell him."
"Piper, I can't lie about those things if someones legal guardian asks me. He asked and I had to tell him the truth."
I keep fidgeting in the chair, not sure who to be angry at anymore, "He hurt her."
"Irene has spoken to me and Alex's teachers, I know it was rough."
Now I'm standing, determined to make this woman understand, "You don't know anything."
"So tell me, tell me about the things I don't understand."
I stand up, ready to walk out of there, "It's not my story to tell."
A/N
Hello again! I agree with those reviewers who said the girls need a break. Next chapter will include their movie date and maybe the first time they have sex, haven't decided yet. Sex is going to be a massive step for Alex, I want to do it justice.
This chapter gave some more info about the girls history, with some more snippets to follow in future chapters. Also, we will eventually understand what happened to turn Desi into a jerk.
Let me know your thoughts on Ch 11 :)
Cheers.