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Not Going There

Chapter 11

"Daddy!" Katie yelled again and took off running across the yard.

I shot to my feet and whirled to look toward the side of the house. And it wasn't just my imagination: James stood with his arms open to Katie and she rushed into his embrace. I looked back to Edward as he slowly stood up and there was a flash of something in his eyes—gone before I could respond or reassure him. Abby stood in the middle of the yard, on alert and looking like she was ready to bolt.

"Hey, pumpkin!"James said as he hugged Katie, picking her up.

What the hell was he doing here? I was not okay with him showing up unannounced.

As I watched, the hackles crept up my back. The dog wasn't the only one on alert.

James turned to me casually, like he just happened to stop over for a cup of coffee. "Hey, Bella."

"What are you doing here?" The ire in my tone was barely concealed.

"Just here to see my girl." He smiled at Katie, looked over at Edward, and raised a brow at me.

What, I wasn't allowed to see anyone? Lord knew he'd probably been real busy since our split. I almost felt bad for Victoria, because once a cheater, always a cheater, but that was her problem to deal with now.

"A phone call would have been nice," I said through clenched teeth.

"You mean I can't see my daughter whenever I want?"

Katie, oblivious until that point, craned her neck to look at me, a worried little crease forming between her eyebrows. Goddamnit. Now he was baiting me in front of her. I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, attempting to calm my shit.

I looked over to Edward and his manner suggested I should introduce them before things became tenser than they already were.

"James, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is James—"

"The ex-husband," offered James, looking at the man now standing beside me with a wry smile on his face. He put Katie down and reached over to shake hands, but even I noticed the way their knuckles turned white. Testosterone. Guys. Fabulous…

Edward nodded politely, refraining from words, thankfully.

"Hey, Katie-bug," I said, trying to put an end to the silent pissing match that was going on. "How about you go play with Abby while Daddy and Mommy talk, okay?"

She pouted a bit, but did as she was asked. Abby followed her closely back over to the pile of leaves they'd been playing in just a few minutes before the world decided to tilt.

"Well, I do have another reason to be here," he added as we watched Katie play. "I saw there was a job opening with the Port Angeles Police Department so I'm up this way for an interview."

"Why?" I snapped.

The look on his face was all false-incredulity. "Thought I should be closer to my daughter," he said slowly, so sarcastic and condescending that it made my spine stiffen.

He was enjoying this; he'd always enjoyed making me squirm because he knew I wouldn't completely lose it in front of her. As much as I abhorred him, I was careful to never be negative about him in front of Katie. Now was not the time to light into him.

"Where are you staying?" I asked, hoping he wasn't anywhere too nearby. I wondered how long he'd been in the area before he decided to stop by—knowing him, he'd probably been here for a few days just waiting to make his move at an inopportune time.

"I'm in Port Angeles at the Red Lion for a few days. Then, if the interview flies, I'll look for a place to live. Think I can I take her for lunch, here in town? Or are you guys too busy for her to spend some time with her father?"

Be the bigger person. It had been a while since they'd spent any time together—the beginning of summer had seen us on our last "family" outing to Disneyworld. Happiest place my ass: I'd spent the day annoyed and frying in the sun while James one-upped me at every opportunity. Originally Katie and I had gone to see my mom, but James flew down once he knew we were there and suggested Disney to make himself look awesome.

"That would be okay but I need her back by four. We have plans." We didn't, but I was going to make some.

He looked back to Edward, a calculating glint in his eyes. "All right then, four it is. C'mon, Katie, let's go get some fries."

"Yay!" she said, once again full-tilt as she ran back over and grabbed his hand.

I got her bundled up and kissed her goodbye, watching warily as her father escorted her to his car. When I followed them around the corner of the house to see if he had a booster seat, he turned, already anticipating my thoughts, and flipped forward the seat so she could crawl in back, making a sweeping gesture with his hand.

There was a seat. A brand new, really nice one with a print Katie would love.

Angry tears stung at my eyes as I watched them drive away; I could barely breathe for the weight sitting on my chest.

"You all right?"

Edward. I hadn't realized he'd followed me around the house, too. I glanced over my shoulder, saw him standing within reach but not touching me. Some of the weight eased.

"Yes… No. That man just grates my nerves, and showing up unannounced is so typical."

"Are you okay with him taking her on short notice?"

"Yeah, that's not a problem. She'll come back spoiled, but he wouldn't hurt her. But any chance to get a dig at me, knowing I won't say anything in front of her…"

He didn't say a word, and I tried to work out the expression on his face. He looked almost…worried?

I closed my eyes, sighed deeply, and reached for his hand.

"I'm sorry. We were having such a nice time, and then… Guess I'm a bit shocked at the moment. He hasn't pulled anything like this in a long time. Something tells me he got wind of us somehow."

"Why would that make a difference?"

I scoffed. "It shouldn't, but if he knew I was involved with someone he'd do his best to make it difficult.

"Who do you think told him?"

"I honestly have no idea, but it doesn't matter at the moment."

I could tell he understood by the squeeze of his hand, so comforting and secure. He wasn't pulling away, and it made me feel good to have someone on my side, someone to let it all out to.

"The hard part is he just waltzes in and out as he pleases, and she doesn't understand right now because she's so young. Yeah, he calls her once a week and I just try to make the best of it for her, but someday she'll have to figure things out on her own. I need stability for her. Not someone who sees her when he feels like it."

"Maybe this will work out okay if he gets the job in Port Angeles," he offered.

I looked at him sharply.

He held his hands up and continued, cautiously, "He'll be close, for her sake, but an hour away, for yours."

A look into his earnest eyes allowed the frost inside me to melt a little. It wasn't even his situation and here he was dealing with it, with me.

"Hey," I said softly, grabbing one of his hands. "How 'bout we go inside and I'll make us some tea and we can talk. I think it's time for me to fill you in on all if this."

"Okay," he said. Pulling me into a hug, he kissed my forehead. "Whatever you need."

O=^=C

When the thought of having this conversation occurred to me a few weeks back, I'd been nervous. I didn't want pity—there were people out there who deserved it far more than I did—but the idea that Edward would see me as…less, somehow, scared me. Today, though, and especially after the myriad ways he'd shown me that he was in this, with me, too, it felt…okay. Good. Needed if we were going to move farther along.

I handed Edward his cup of tea and took my spot next to him on the couch, twining my legs through his because I needed for him to be as close to me as possible. He placed his hand on my thigh, lightly rubbing it back and forth as he turned to listen.

"So," I started."I know you have the gist of things but I want you to understand why he still gets to me after all of this time."

He just sat back, encouraging me to go on.

"Basically, once I was finished with college, I decided to go into law enforcement without telling anyone. Charlie was less than pleased. I understand his reasoning now that I have a daughter of my own, but at the time I just thought he was being overprotective. So I just plowed ahead on my own, thinking I was this independent, mature woman," I said, chuckling dryly. "Then I met James at the Academy and he was kind of exciting…fun. And he seemed to get me, too, ya know? I was all alone and on my own for the first time. He made me feel taken care of."

"I can relate to that," he said.

"Then there was the fact that he was my first real, adult relationship, and I didn't know how much work came along with something like that. My parents were…well, you know. And yours were great role-models, but I'd always kind of felt like they were perfect to begin with."

"Sometimes, that's just as hard to live up to—when things appear so easy."

"No joke. Anyway, once we both landed jobs with Spokane, we just up and took off to Idaho to get married. My mother thought it was romantic and Charlie was pissed. But he knew he couldn't do anything about it since he had gone through something similar and figured I'd have to sort it out on my own."

Edward tightened his grip a little on my leg, lips settling into a straight line. I knew he didn't exactly like to hear about this, but he'd been honest with me and I'd do the same with him. The past was the past, after all.

"Things were okay at first, kind of manageable despite working in different precincts. We didn't see each other much which is probably why we got along so well back then."

Oh, hindsight. You cruel, cruel harpy.

"After the first year, he started coming home after his shifts so freaking cranky. I blew it off as stress from the job until he started with the drinking. I mean, he did before, but it became constant. Every little thing I did was wrong or not good enough, so at first I shrank back from it. As the drinking became heavier, the shouting became uglier. I was about to pack up and leave when I found out I was pregnant."

"Jesus," he said, pulling me a little closer into his side.

"It's okay. Just let me get this out." At his nod, I took a sip of my tea and continued. "After I had Katie, he was okay for awhile. But it started happening again and there was no way in hell I was going to put up with that with a baby in the house—I already saw enough of it on the job every day, so I fought back and stood up to him. Things never got physical but the yelling and fighting was emotionally and mentally draining. I was horrified that if my dad found out he'd kill him. So I just hid everything from everyone—my dad, Alice—no one knew squat."

I leaned my head on the back of the sofa and he reached up to rub the back of my neck.

"He was so excellent at manipulating the situation so I always thought it was my fault somehow. When Bug was two, I caught wind of him messing around with one of the girls at work. I've told you that I found out later it was more than one. So I confronted him. He denied it and begged me not to leave him, and I thought I could do it, that things would change, but when Katie turned four he'd taken up with my former partner. I just decided I'd had enough and left for good. At that point, I didn't have a whole lot of self-esteem and didn't really have a support system in Spokane, so I came home."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"See, I'm not… I don't want pity, I never have. Life's about choices and I made a few wrong ones, but who hasn't? I learned from them, I'm stronger because I went through that. "

He nodded, conceding. "Think I'm on that train with ya."

"I'm in a better place now and I know I need to not let him get to me. There's no point."

"I have a feeling, Bella, if you lay down the law in the beginning, it'll give you some boundaries that should give you a little comfort."

"You know, he just gave me full custody in the beginning and I never had to worry about that, but you're right. It needs to be in black and white."

He put down his cup and turned my faced towards his. Leaning in, he gently touched my lips with his, melting me at once. I reached up and wrapped my hand around his neck, pulling him closer to me so we could keep on kissing like this.

After a few moments, I pulled back a little. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For reminding me what else is important."

"And that would be?"

"Katie. My dad and my friends here. You."

O=^=C

Saturday and the Carnival rolled around, and as a last minute idea I'd whipped up a ladybug costume; I thought that baby pest needed a momma pest. It was slightly dorky, but I figured that I'd get my silly 'mommy and me' dreams out of the way before the teenage years started.

I was assigned to the face painting booth which I actually didn't mind. I was supposed to have one other volunteer, someone from the hospital, but they hadn't arrived so I organized everything into an easy-to-find system when I got there. Since the carnival was set up in a big circle within the gym, I could keep Katie in my sights. I was comforted by the fact that I could see her running around with the Newton kids, Mike not far behind.

My booth proved pretty popular and I was having a ball. The little guys wanted monsters, skeletons and football mascots painted on their face while the girls all wanted animals and butterflies. One little guy did want a butterfly, and I went to town on his.

"Great. Figures it'd be you they partnered me up with."

I looked up from the zombie mask I was painting and froze. Lauren, latte and a fully stocked makeup kit the size of a suitcase in hand, stood behind me. Her hair was all business up front and party in the back like that lady on television with the eight kids. I didn't think it was a costume.

Luckily, I was so busy with the kids that I could just ignore her…until we had a lull in the action.

Common courtesy dictated that the first thing out of her mouth should be, "Thank you for helping my son, I really do appreciate it."

But, no, I got, "Isn't your ex-husband back in town? Someone told me that they talked to him at the diner the other day. Does this mean you're getting back together?"

In small towns, word traveled fast, which was another reason I tried to fly under the radar. And I would love it if you would shut your mouth, please and thanks."No, we are not. He was just in town for the day." As if I owed her an explanation.

"He told my hairdresser he plans on staying. She said he was a good looking man, Bella. Don't know if you should pass up that chance…"

I tried to ignore the unspoken "not like you'd have another one" she'd implied. Little did she know… I continued to ignore her as long as possible until she decided to open her mouth again, and I really hoped it wouldn't be anytime soon.

About an hour later, I glanced up and saw my favorite deputy walk into the gym and strike up a conversation with Shelly. He was on duty right now but probably stopped by to say 'hi'. I smiled.

Lauren opened up her trap again and I tried to block it out but heard snippets of: "Ooh, there's Deputy Cullen, who I hear is available." "Got rid of that nasty ex of his, too." "I wouldn't mind getting my hands on that."

My insides clenched a little, as she continued. "You know, I always thought he had a thing for me since high school. It's so obvious when I talk to him that he's into me."

Now, I was starting to get irritated. The word 'clueless' came to mind. Since things were winding down, I cleaned up what I was doing and neatly stacked things inside the bin I'd brought.

She kept on prattling. "Maybe he's just shy since his divorce. Watch how this is done, Bella. I'll just walk right on over there and ask him out. Putty in my hands."

There were times when the way someone said your name was just… rude. And this was one of them. I was going to have so much fun with this…

"Oh. I wouldn't do that if I were you, Lauren," I said, drawing her name out the way she'd done mine.

"Why? Someone like you couldn't be interested in him. It's really too bad there wasn't someone more your speed in town."

"Truth is, he just so happens to be 'my speed'. And mine. Have a good one."

With those parting words, I turned around and walked across the gym throwing myself an internal fist pump all the while. When I reached Edward, he smiled down at me, lightly touching my arm. I stepped closer in to his side.

"Hey. How's it going, Lady…bug?"

"Great. It was a fun day—until ten minutes ago. As a result, I just 'outed' us to Lauren. I couldn't help myself."

He chuckled. "Good. Because I was getting tired of fending her off. Tyler's been a good friend since I've been back here and I wouldn't do that to him."

"You mean you wouldn't do that to me," I said, batting my eyelashes at him for effect.

"I'd be an idiot if I even considered it," he said, smiling back.

Katie ran up, "Mom, Look!" She was holding a giant stuffed spider. Cute, but still a spider. "I won this! Over there!"

"That's fantastic honey. Are you done? We need to head home shortly."

"But I have to say goodbye to Carly. She's my new best friend."

I laughed. "Go do it real quick, then we'll go."

I turned back to Edward and rolled my eyes. "Second new best friend this week. I foresee lots of sleepovers in my future."

"Poor you. You ready for trick or treating tonight?"

"Yeah. We're going to head through a few houses in the neighborhood and call it good. She doesn't need that much candy."

"Mind if I stop by after my shift is over?"

"Not at all. In fact, I'll save you some dinner."

"Sounds like a plan."

I turned to look for Katie and saw Lauren, hands fisted at her side and her eyes shooting daggers at me. I smiled big and just waved.

O-^=C

Nothing brought out the pranksters on Halloween like a cop's house, so, just before we went trick or treating, I made sure the house was secure in the back and the front. I just hoped we didn't return to trees covered in Angel Soft.

As I closed the front door, checking the knob, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe."

"Hi, we're just heading out right now."

"Well, I'm not sure if I'll get over there, things are already starting to get a little busy."

"Good thing I swapped my shift. Not into it, not right now. Sorry that you're stuck, though."

He laughed. "It's no big. I'll stop by if it's not too late, but otherwise I'll just head home."

"Okay. Call me later regardless. I'm not sure when Charlie's coming home."

"I will."

I hung up as Katie said, "Momma!" for about the hundredth time. I slipped my phone into my pocket and headed down the porch stairs.

"Let's go get some candy!" I said, leading her on to the sidewalk.

Our walk through the neighborhood was pretty lively. This year it seemed that there were a lot of kids, and the cars driving through really had to slow down. As I waited on the sidewalk, watching Katie at the Miller's door, I turned to my right just to check for safety and saw an unfamiliar car parked in front of the house.

It was too dark and I was too far away to see, and figured I'd get a look at the plates as we got closer to home. Most likely it was someone who trekked into the neighborhood to bring their kids here to trick or treat, but I was too well-trained to let it go without first checking if I could. Lots of kids out on Halloween, so it was always better to be safe rather than sorry.

It was gone by the time we returned, though, and I guessed that it probably was a neighborhood-hopper out on the hunt for the best treats. Once through the front door, I turned on the lights and lit the pumpkin in the window, ready for the onslaught of older kids.

Bug was tuckered out, and I carried her to the couch, flicked on Nickelodeon, and figured she'd be out in five minutes. As I straightened, I heard a noise in the kitchen and froze.

"You guys home?"

"Hey, Dad."

I headed toward the sound and found Charlie in front of the refrigerator, grabbing a cold one. He'd obviously had just made it back; it was apparent he was in need of a post-hunting shower.

I waved my hand in front of my face and stepped as far away as possible. "I don't get why you guys feel the need to stink all week."

"Got to live in the scent when you're hunting, you know that."

Just then, Katie came trudging in behind me, tiredness forgotten as she saw who was with me.

"Grampa!"

"Hey, Little Bug," he said, picking her up and grunting at the same time. "I sure missed you."

He put her back down and she grabbed his hand. "Guess what! Guess what! My daddy's here."

Charlie looked over to me with a questioning look.

"He got here yesterday. Apparently, he's interviewing with the P.A.P.D. Which is kind of out of the blue," I said as I unloaded the dish drainer.

He didn't say anything, so I turned to look and he looked kind of…well, guilty.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked, keenly aware that he knew something.

"Oh, um, I may have mentioned something about you and Edward a few weeks ago, when James called for Katie. Guess it lit a fire under him," he mumbled.

"Dad!"

"I know, but I've been waiting so long to say something—anything—to that sonofabitch that I couldn't help myself."

I sighed heavily. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter too much. Edward and I talked about it a bit and if it's good for Katie, I'll have to be all right with it."

"I don't think he'll mess with you."

"Oh, Dad, you don't know him like I do."

"Bells, it'll work out," he said. Then, changing the subject, "Did you leave the screen door unlocked back here on purpose?"

"No. I'm sure I locked it. I always do because the safe is back here. Was the other door locked?"

"Yeah. I checked the deadbolt and the door and it was secure. Just thought you may have missed it."

I thought for a moment. I was sure I had locked it, yet with the phone call and Katie bugging me to leave, I may have overlooked it.

"Huh, well, you can bet that won't happen again."

O=^=C

On Tuesday, James called and announced that he'd gotten the job. I told him that since he was moving here, I wanted a revised parenting plan. He balked at first, but I was having none of that.

"Look, you were too far away before and logistics prevented us from having any kind of schedule for her. But I won't put up with it this time. She's in school now and needs a schedule. It'll be better for her to know what's coming."

"That all sounds fine and dandy, but I don't know my schedule yet. I may not be able to give you a plan yet."

I sighed loudly and rubbed roughly at the space between my brows with my fingers. "As soon as you know, I need to have something in writing so we can arrange things."

"So now you're trying to keep tabs on me? Same ol' Bella."

Fucker. "No, I am not the 'same ol' Bella', and you're going to have to get used to that. Soon as I contact my lawyer, I'll get the papers to you."

"Sure, I guess. But hey, I'd like to come out and get Katie this weekend. Bring her here for a night."

"We have plans this coming weekend. For right now, you can spend time with her out here. We'll talk after the papers are done."

"When did you get so bitchy? Things not going well with the new boyfriend?"

I could feel the heat rise in my face. Let it go.

"I'll talk to you in a few days," I said, calmly. I wasn't going to give him anything.

"Found a hot button, didn't I?"

"Goodbye, James," I said as calmly as I could and I literally hung up on him. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I would have to find a way to not let him get to me.

O=^=C

Thank you for all of the terrific reviews. I always love to hear what you think!

RL has been hectic and I gotta give love to nic for putting up with my procrastinating ways. Amazing, she is.

Song - Headstrong - Trapt