HINATA, OCTOBER

I felt so stupid after that night with Kageyama. I have never thrown myself at anyone like that. I can tell he cares about me but yet he seems to be fighting it. I don't understand why. I am of age now. Sure, he would be my coach but I can be discrete. I made the team completing the 3rd round. I am on my way to meet up with Sugawara so we can talk about how things are going so far. Asahi and Noya wanted to tag along but I needed to talk about Kageyama. I need to make sure no one on our team knows.

I walk into the coffee shop excited to try what they have. I have heard a lot about this shop but it is closer to Sugawara side of Tokyo than mine. He is on time as always. I spot him in the corner. He waves at me. I make my way over quickly. He stands up giving me a hug.

"You look great!" he exclaims.

"So do you!" I gush. We are use to seeing each other in our high school uniform and club wear. "I didn't know you were so into style."

"I'm really not," laughed Sugawara. "I am just trying something new." He is wearing a button-down shirt that has hues of pink, blue, and white. The shirt is tucked into blue pants with a white belt. He looked more mature and not like a college student at all. I was wearing jeans and a tee shirt but I also rode my bike here. "You look so happy, what is going on?"

I smile remembering I didn't tell him the good news. "I made the team!"

"I knew you would!" he exclaimed. "This is great! I know Asahi and Noya are happy to have you." I nod.

"They are" I replied. "I also like my coaches too. Tanaka is really cool and kind of funny. Daichi is a bit more serious but I like him as well. Then there is Kageyama." I see Sugawara almost choke on his coffee as a young lady walks up.

"Hi, I am your server. This young man told me to expect one more."

"Yes, what do you have here. I would prefer something sweet with a cake."

"Great, we have plenty of options for that," I go with what she recommended. Soon as she walks away Sugawara starts grilling me.

"You didn't tell me that he was working there!" he exclaimed. "How does Noya feel about this? I know he is not fond of Kageyama.

"I didn't know until I was at try outs," I explained. "We stopped talking after Ukai took us to the park. Noya was completely surprised. He didn't found out until the 3rd round of try outs. Pretty messed up but things happen."

"Why would he do that?" asked Sugawara. "Why would Kageyama stop talking to you? You guys seem so close." I can feel my face get hot as I remember what happened. "Oh boy, what did you do?"

"You have to promise not tell anyone!" I exclaim. "And we can't say his name going forward, promise me!"

"I promise," replied Sugawara taking a sip from his coffee.

"Something happened when we stayed at the park," I sigh. "It was an accident really."

"Accident?" questioned Sugawara. "What do you mean?"

"When you went to bed that night I was bored, really bored. I did go walking in the hotel, that much is true. Then I spotted him by the pool. Somehow I lost my balance or something and feel in the pool. He saved my life in a way."

"Well that would explain why you had on such big clothes," laughed Sugawara.

"There's more," I say fidgeting in my seat. The server dropped off my coffee and cake. I smile looking at the pretty strawberries on it. I made a good choice. I sip my coffee and take a bit of the cake smiling.

"Hinata the story!" cried Sugawara. He looks like he is on the edge of his seat.

"Oh right," I laugh to ease the tension on my side. "Um like I told you I left my key card. He took me to his room instead. I got to shower and he lent me some clothes."

"Did you have sex with him!" exclaimed Sugawara. I flush even more hearing it out loud.

"No," I replied continuing to blush. "We just touched each other. I was sleep but I was in the mood. I just remember feeling good and I didn't want it to stop. I don't know if he was doing something to me or not. I mostly remember the kiss and everything else after." Sugawara eyes got wide.

"This had to be intense,"

"You have no idea," I sighed. "I thought he was going to hate me. He said he didn't, in his own way he kind of said he liked me."

"It makes sense now. That is why he stopped talking to you."

"It didn't make sense to me!" I cried. "We had a connection, a moment or whatever you want to call it. How can you just walk away from that?"

"I am sure he had his reasons. No wonder things were awkward at your try outs."

"Not so much anymore we kind of made up," I replied. "I actually cooked him dinner. We ate and went over plays from last season. It was amazing."

"Sounds like you are in love," stated Sugawara.

"I am, I love him a lot," I confess. "I can't stop thinking about him. If it's not volleyball, it's him. It's almost embarrassing sometimes."

"Have you told him?"

"In so many words," I replied flushing again. Sugawara chuckles.

"I am scared to know what you did," he replied.

"Well I kind of attacked him. I wanted him to have sex with me." Sugawara looks around.

"You haven't had sex before have you? I know you haven't been with a man before?"

"No to both of those questions," I say with my face on fire. "Why does it matter? I love him, it feels right."

"Has he ever been with a man, you know, before?"

"I don't know, I never asked" I replied. I take a deep breath. "We were so close the other night. He was fighting it."

"He's in a position of power," explained Sugawara. "Of course he would fight it. I think for the sake of your team you may need to let him go in the romantic sense."

"I have tried!" I cried. "He didn't talk to me for 3 months and I never forgot him. I feel like he made me a better player. I mean I made the team! He got us to the spring tournament." Sugawara rubs my hand.

"Calm down" he replies. "You are definitely in love." Suga sighs. "I think you should keep this to yourself for now. Don't pressure him. Put everything you have into the game." I roll my eyes because that seems impossible. I have been having to see him a lot more than

"Sugawara, can I ask you a question. Have you ever been with a man?" I see his cheeks turn pink.

"I have," he admits. "It's why I told you to come and talk to me but you never did until now."

"How is it?" I ask. He chuckles nervously.

"It's good. It's great." He laughs again. "It does depend on the person you are with though. The person you have in mind sounds like they could be a great partner." I smile at the thought of being with Kageyama in an more intimate setting.

"He is great. I just love everything that I know about him. I actually got him to smile."

"What!"

"I was so happy. He smiled, he was so proud of me for doing well in tryouts." I sigh. "I really want to be with him but I really want to play volleyball too." Suga pats my hand again.

"Just do as I suggest for now. We don't need things becoming more complicated." I nod in agreement. Sugawara fills me in on how things are going at his school. How the volleyball team is different from high school. He has made a lot of new friends which does not surprise me. He and I were always the social butterflies on the team. We conclude our meeting and I start to make my way back home.

It's getting dark and I hate riding my bike at night. I hop off my bike once in front of my building. I take a deep breath not really wanting to climb the stairs.

"Hey red" said a tall guy. I am around tall guys all the time so I ignore him. "I know you hear me!" I start to walk faster when one of them grabs me.

"Get your hands off of me!" I scream.

"Dude, he is little like a girl. His skin is soft too."

"Come on little man," said another. I could smell the alcohol on their breath. I reach for my phone with my free hand hitting Kageyama number. He gave it to me after I made the team. I never called it before but I praying to god he answers.

"Hello," I hear his voice and I want to cry.

"Kageyama, help me!" I scream.