Please see Ch 1 for disclaimers and warnings…

Sometimes Maura's insane need to arrive to work early was okay by Jane. Gave her time to think, especially if it happened to fall right at the uniform's shift swap out and the incoming crowd was still down in the main conference room getting their updates and orders.

Jane leaned back in her chair and stared at her computer screen, watching the bouncing logo of the BPD screensaver until it exploded into a hundred raining cats.

Frost's last prank on Korsak.

Kenny down in IT had taken pity on her one night after he caught her staring at Korsak's screen and installed it on her system. She looked up at the empty chair across from her. Everyone knew she missed him. They all missed him. On the computer screen the cats faded away and the cycle started again.

Jane reached across her desk and turned the Guardian Chogokin doll towards her. Her throat tightened when she realized somebody had hung a little silver Christmas bulb off his hand. Must have been Frankie. She knew he and Korsak had some deal about trying to use the desk regularly, but it wasn't doing any good. They still had to get up eventually and that chair was empty again. This morning his desk felt particularly lonely.

The action figure stared at her blankly. Jane tapped the silver bulb with her finger and watched it swing back and forth. She just missed him so much. She missed the way he had of kicking her ass out of whatever mood she was in. She missed the fact he was impossibly neat and organized. How in the middle of the case she could come up with a random idea and he could latch right on and run with it.

He never made her feel like a girl or like she was anything else other than his partner when they were on the street. He was insanely skilled with a computer and in the tech lab, but he never made a big deal about it.

He could be acting like an asshole one second with her brother, and then change gears and listen intently to any problem she had. He wasn't big on judging either, and she had needed that after Hoyt. He had this way of letting her do her thing the way she needed to do it, no harm, no foul.

Jane could almost picture him sitting at his desk; his eyes were always so warm. They gave the real Frost away. He could behave like a douche all he wanted with the guys but that wasn't him, not really. And they were gentle eyes, a clear window to a sensitive soul.

Jane chewed at her bottom lip as her vision blurred. Right now she really fucking needed those eyes.

Thing about Frost was he didn't try to be anyone else other than himself around her, and that meant she could be herself around him. No judging. Which was what she needed this morning. If he was sitting across from her like he was supposed to be, she could tell him about her dream last night. All about Verna and the deer. Then she could tell him to go check and see if there were any deer strike reports in the State Police's system.

He'd give a hard time just to keep her on her toes. Probably ask her if she needed him to hack a satellite and look for Santa's sleigh and the eight tiny reindeer while he was at it. Maybe warn her if she started dreaming about an elf smuggling ring she was on her own.

But he'd try, and he had one hell of a success rate. This idea of hers was probably really easy for him. He'd hit a few keys and then they'd celebrate. But only after she figured out some way to insult his general sensibilities, just to settle the score.

Jane picked up the plastic toy. She squeezed lightly, letting the edges bite into the scar on her palm. It wasn't fair that he wasn't ever going to be back.

If Frost was here she'd have someone to ask what was going on with her. He was the type to be honest. He'd be able to help her figure out why Jack was bothering her so much. It wasn't only the time Maura spent with him, but figuring out why thinking about Jack at all made her skin crawl.

She trusted her gut but she'd checked him out with every resource on and off the books she had. He was clean. Mr. All-American, boy-next-door, clean.

She'd even be willing to ask for his help trying to sort through this morning. She'd tell him how she woke up thinking about her dream and how Maura had put her back to bed. She'd be transparent about how she had gone off to find her and eventually ended up standing in the doorway to the yoga room watching her.

How Maura had sensed that she was there and smiled at her as she patted the spot beside her. Jane would share how she copied Maura's lotus pose and closed her eyes tightly. About how right it had felt to sit there, the spicy smell of the incense curling around them.

Eventually there had been a touch at her knee and she'd opened her eyes. Maura had looked so beautiful. It was Maura, but it was somehow more. Maybe it was the lack of make-up, the smattering of freckles on her cheeks, or the way in that moment Maura appeared almost blurred around the edges, but there was almost an innocent softness present. It was as if the armor Maura had built to survive the world was missing.

Jane swallowed hard, remembering the sheer surge of protectiveness that had washed over her. How, as she stared into soft hazel eyes she knew, without a doubt, that she would shrivel up and die if she lost Maura.

And Frost would understand. Jane knew it. He wouldn't laugh or make a joke. He'd make her go get a sandwich with him. Not at one of the usual spots. One of the trendy places with sofas and chairs that no respectable cop would ever enter. They'd sit and he wouldn't say a word until she asked, and when she did it would be straight talk. No bullshit.

Jane squeezed the statue one last time, hoping he knew how much she loved him and how much he was missed. He was her partner. He was her friend. He was Frost, and she needed him.

"Janie."

She looked up and reluctantly released the figure as Korsak sat down across from her, tossing a bagel bag at her and pushing a coffee cup across the desks.

"You're in early." Korsak leaned back a little, drinking from a cup of coffee, and Jane could tell he was settling in.

She turned the action figure to face him. "Somebody decorated Officer Chogokin for the holidays."

Korsak tapped the Christmas ornament. "Cute." He made eye contact. "You alright?"

Jane nodded. "Peachy keen." She gestured behind her head to the case board. "I got a dead kid, an angry corporation, I pissed off the new Mayor last week, and Cavanaugh is going to want an update in…" Jane looked at her watch, "…40 but I have nothing for leads."

Korsak yawned into his fist. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You have more than nothing. Nothing would be not knowing where the fiance was."

Jane spoke around the rim of her cup as she went to take a sip. "Great, so I know he's down in Maura's shop getting his insides turned out. I don't have a clue why though." She took a gulp. "This is good, thanks." She sighed, the cup hitting the desk with a hollow click. "No strange action on any of his accounts, has a good relationship with friends and family. Good professional reputation." She tilted her head and stared at the ceiling. "On the other hand, we already know the mother had a long history with drugs. In and out of rehabs, some arrests for prostitution. Vice has the word out to their CIs to see who might know more about her."

Korsak linked his fingers and rested the back of his head against them. "See there you go, more possible leads."

Jane straightened back up and drummed her fingers against her desktop for a moment. "Okay, I guess I have something to give the Lu. Thanks, Korsak."

He gave a slight nod and patiently waited.

Jane sighed. "You know, if Frost was here, I'd have him run this idea that came to me in the middle of the night."

Korsak gave her a glance before he pulled out his own bagel and started thickly spreading cream cheese on it. "You ask your brother for help?"

The deflection came easily. "Lazy lump isn't in yet." Jane opened her bag and peered inside. "One of these for Maura?"

Korsak nodded. "The whole wheat, multigrain rock thing." He licked cream cheese off his thumb. "Got you cinnamon and raisin." He took a bite and chewed, swallowing quickly. "You know, Nina enjoys working with you. Why don't you go ask her to run whatever it is you'd want Frost to do."

Jane narrowed her eyes. "Frost did what it took to get the answer. I'm not going to put Nina in that position."

"Fine. Don't ask." Korsak pointed towards Cavanaugh's door. "You go in there in 35 and tell him you didn't follow up on a lead because your head was stuffed up your ass."

"Hey!" Jane glared at him but Korsak didn't budge. "Nina's great, but she's not Frost, and I really need Frost."

"No, she's not Frost and that's a good thing. Frost would look awful in those blouses she likes to wear." Korsak took another large bite.

Groaning, Jane got to her feet, grabbing her bagel and coffee. "Fine, but I'm only doing this because you keep chewing so loud I can't hear myself think."

He gave her a cheerful wave and she rolled her eyes at him over her shoulder.

As she entered the tech lab the crime scene analyst's back was to her. Jane cleared her throat and Nina turned around. "Morning."

Nina pushed back from her computer and turned around. "Good morning."

Jane weighed her options and decided vague would work here. Nina was a former cop. No way was Jane going to share the fact that she was having nightmares about Christmas wishes brought to her by an insane homeless woman-turned-subconscious-mystic that hated her. Nope. Not happening. No matter how hard Korsak pushed her buttons.

Jane cleared her throat. "Got an idea this morning after looking over the murder board. So, you know how the fiancé's body was found dumped in Harold Parker State Forest? Not hidden all that well or anything, the car was left right near a trail head actually." Jane waited until Nina nodded. "Kind of stupid, but anyhow, the Staties have been collecting all the local home security footage that they could and so far, there's nothing on what they've reviewed."

Jane paused long enough to take a sip of her coffee. Nina was looking at her calmly. "I was wondering if you could get into their systems and see if any of the locals reported a deer strike or if animal control had a report of an injured deer. "

Nina's brow was furrowed. "I don't have access to their servers but I could call…"

Jane shook her head. "I don't want to alert them yet. This case is ours."

Nina seemed to be studying every inch of her and Jane resisted the urge to cross her arms. Finally she spoke. "Why a dead deer?"

Jane was almost embarrassed at how quickly a lie came to mind. "Almost hit a deer on the way out of there, made me think of it."

Jane watched as Nina's lips pursed and she rubbed at her nose while she thought about it. Clear, pragmatic eyes met hers. "I'm not buying the whole why you want me to look but I was a cop too, I get it."

Nina turned around and started pulling screens up. "This might take a while and I'm going to ask them. There are other ways to keep control of the case."

Jane resisted the urge to argue and ducked her head, took a breath, and looked back up. "Great, thanks. I'm going to duck down to the morgue and drop off Maura's breakfast."

A/N

My love to siDEADde, living-on-borrowed-crime and charlietheCAG for helping me get this out the door.

To all:

There is poignant truth to the saying "You know you've grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store."