Hi people. 50 REVIEWS. YEAH ME! did you guys like the last chapter? i forgot to say it, but that one was my favorite. wasn't that water fight 2cute? i loved writing that whole thing from the dream to when she lefts his house. so, welcome to another chapter of APL. i think you guys are going to like this one. it's the one where they get closer. yay. and it's my first lemon. yay 2x. but it's not too juciy. it is my first and this is T so i didn't want it to make it too much. in fact, i don't think it can go under the cat. of 'lemon'. but i still like it.

Okay, someone in the last chapter asked why don't i just let edward know she's virgin. i can't put the name because the comment was annomous. but i will answer the question anyways. the reason she doesn't tell him before is in this one. in fact, i think i've already said 2much.

Ummm...disclaimer, don't think i'm as good as people say i am. la, la, la. here we go.

11. Realization

The next two days were annoying as hell. I couldn't see him on Sunday because I thought to give him some space. And I couldn't see him Monday, because that was the day Alice had her detention with him. Lucky bitch. The days dragged and I felt empty,

By the time Tuesday came, I almost lost myself in joy. I didn't know how I would get through anymore days with his touch. I know I was sounding disrupted, but I couldn't help it. He had that affect on me.

After school, I walked right to his room. The door was closed and he was cleaning off his desk when I got there, so I had to knock on the window to get his attention. He looked up at me and smile then signaled me to come in before turning back to his desk. I did what he asked and walked over to him.

"Hey, stranger." He said when I got close to him. He stood up then placed his hand gently on my hip before giving me a hello kiss. "I haven't seen you in a while." he said before sitting back down.

I dropped my bag to the floor before sitting on the edge of his desk. "You saw this morning." I told him with a smile.

He gave a small shrugged. "You know what I mean." He started moving papers from one side to another. I started playing in his hair.

"Yeah, I get." I said. He didn't know how much I did get it. After a second, I decided to get to the point of why I was here, beside the need to see him outside of class. "You remember what happened Saturday morning?" I said, not being around the brush. I didn't feel a need to. It was going to come out one way or another.

"Yes." he said slowly, but not looking at me.

"Why did you stop?" I asked.

He looked at me then, "What do you mean?" he asked with a serious blank stare.

He knew exact what I meant, but I explained anyways. "I mean in the kitchen, we were in the moment and you stopped it. I want to know why."

He moved his chair in front of me and grabbed my hands. "Because I said I would wait, I was keeping my promise." He said looking up into my eyes. He tried to, but I looked away as if I was embarrassed. "What's wrong; I thought that's what you wanted." He said worried.

"I did." I said. I tried to look at him, but the conversation was making me uncomfortable. I looked at our hands and started smoothing small circle on his with my thumb. "I thought that's what I wanted." I said in a small voice.

"What do you mean?" I could hear the confusion in his voice.

"I mean, what would you have done if we didn't stop?" I said still looking at our hands.

"I would have." He tried to start, but I stopped him.

"No. I mean, what if I didn't ask you to. What if I said I was ready?" I said the last statement carefully. I didn't know what he would think of me saying that I was ready so quickly.

"I wouldn't have believed you." He said simply. I looked up at him from the edge of my eyes but not completely lifting my head. I asked him what he meant with my eyes. "Bella, just a few hours before that happen, you damn near ripped my skin off my shoulder because you thought I was going too far." He said with a light humor in his voice. The way he described it made me laugh.

He stood up and lifted my head. "Tell me the truth, were you ready?" he asked in a serious voice again. Now that he put it that way, I made me think more about it. I wasn't I have no idea what made me think I was in such a short time.

I shook my head. He gave a sweet smile. "That's what I thought. And if I would have went back on my word, we wouldn't be together now." he got a point. If we did to it just out of the blue like that, I would've felt awkward and distanced myself from him. "Plus, I wouldn't be able to do this." He said before putting his lips around mine. I would have missed this.

I licked the taste of him off my lips when we pulled away. "So what were you doing before I came in?" I asked him as he sat back down. He moved his chair back to the desk.

"I was clearing off my desk. And was just about to start grading" once he said that, I got an idea. He distracted me; I think it's time for a little pay back.

I jumped off the desk and walked behind his chair. I pulled it back so I could sit on his lap. I put my arm around his neck and pulled my body closer to him. "Won't you rather have a distraction, Mr. Masen?" I gave a flirty smile.

He smiled back. "Didn't we just talk about this?" he said. I laughed at his inference.

"I didn't mean that. I think I can think of another way to distract you." I started kissing on his neck before he could say anything to argue.

"Okay, Bella, I think you proved your point." He said.

"I don't think so." I said with a smile then started trailing open mouth kisses all around his neck. I began running my hand through his hair, again and again.

"Bella." I heard his struggle to get my name out. I hummed against his neck. "I need to get these grades in. Everyone will fail if I don't."

I turned my head and moved to the other side. "I really don't care." I said honestly against his neck. The grades of other people weren't important to me.

"That means you will too." He said. Once he said that, I stop kissing. I didn't want to fall a class I could pass with fucking ease.

I pulled away and sighed. "Fine, teacher." I said as I got up from his lap. I walked over and grabbed a chair to sit next to him. I took a stack of papers and a red pen from his cup.

"What are you doing, Miss Swan?" I heard a smile in his voice.

"Unlike you, I'm going to help you with your work. It will get done quicker." I told him as he the answer sheet between us. As I helped him grade, the most I did was give him a couple of smiles that he didn't notice.

The next morning, Alice kept looking at him then at me and back. I was trying to actually concentrate on my work this time, but she was annoying me. "What?" I asked when I saw her keep going back and forward.

"What is he wearing a turtle neck?" she asked as she gesture to him with her pencil. I looked up to see he was wearing a dark green sweater that fitted him perfectly. That was officially, my favorite thing of his. I smiled and looked down at my paper.

"I don't know. Maybe he's cold." I said with a light shrug.

"Yeah, cold. Okay." she said. I could hear the false belief in her voice. I didn't reply, hoping she would let it go. I don't know why I thought that. She's never been the one to 'let things go'. I won't say it's always bad. I mean, she's the reason him and I are what we are now.

After class, I tried to get her out the door. "Come on, Alice. We're going to be late." I urged. She gave me a look before walking over to his desk where he was sitting.

"Hi Mr. Masen." She said with a cheerful smile. I slowly walked over to them.

"Hi Alice. And I think its okay for you to call me Edward." He winked at her.

"Okay Edward. Hey, I really like that sweater. You mind if I take a look at it." She asked. He gave a confused okay before looking over at me. I gave a light shrug. She started to feel all around it with her fingers. "Wow, this is really soft." she said. She leans down and pulled back the neck of the sweater as if to get a better look. "Umm… Mr. Masen" she said as her voice turned to concern. I know from experience that it's going to take some getting use to call him 'Edward'.

"Yes, Alice." He said as she continued to look at it.

"Are you allergic to this fabric?" she asked. I closed my eyes. I think I had a feeling of where she was going.

"No. Why?" he said slowly. I think he knew where she was going too.

"Because to have red marks all over your neck." She said. Both of us heard the teasing in her voice.

"Alice!" I urged then pulled her away from him neck by her sleeve. When she was away him, he began readjusting the turtleneck to cover up my markings again. I bowed my head and let go of her shirt to cover my face in embarrassment.

She started laughing when she saw our reactions. "Wow, Bella. You're quiet the little vampire, aren't you?" she teased as she continue to laugh.

"Shut up, Alice." I mumbled with my head still down.

"Its okay, Bella." I heard him chuckle. I glanced up at him and rested my head on my fingertips. I gave him a small smile. "Are you going to be making jokes like that all the time now?" he asked her.

"Hey, as long as you guys give me amino, I'm going to use it." She said. I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled then looked over our heads to the clock. "You guys should get to class." I did the same thing he did and nodded. Anything to get out of there.

I grabbed her shirt again. "Come on Alice." I started pulling her towards the door.

"Bye, Bella." I heard a smile in his voice. I pushed her towards the door before walking back to him quickly. I gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Bye Beautiful." he whispered.

"I'll see you later." I pushed his hair back before kissing him on the forehead. I pulled back. "Next time, don't be so obvious," I said. I gave his forehead a light a teasing push with my fingertips then walked away.

"Well, next time don't suck on my neck like an actual vampire." He said back. I looked over my shoulder. He winked at me before I rejoined Alice and we walked to next class.

XXX

A month later

I basely was skipping to his room after his school. I was happy because we've been together for a full month now. We hadn't been caught and hadn't run into any other problems since that day in his kitchen. Besides that, we were celebrating the month we were together this weekend. Plus it was the weekend of Thanksgiving, which also happened to be our first major holiday together, so we had the whole little weekend to ourselves. What could be better? Nothing.

"Hi, Edward." I cheered as I sat on his desk.

"Hey." He gave me a small kiss. "I was just about to leave, what's up?" he said as he gathered his things on his desk.

"I just wanted to get you before you leave." He started to walk pass me. I grabbed his sleeve before he got too far and pulled him back towards me. I wrap my arms around his neck. "Do you know what this weekend is?" I asked.

"Thanksgiving, right?" he said with confusion.

"No… I mean yes, but that's not what I meant." I gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "Think harder." I told him. He looked at me as if he was missing something. "Come on, Edward. Think harder. Wasn't this weekend's date?" I urged.

"The 24th" he crocked his eyebrow in confusion. I gave a small smile and nodded. He looked like he got the hint. "Oh right, it is the 24th." I smiled harder. Yes, he was getting it. "I have to take a book back to the library tonight; they'll be close for the rest of the weekend. Thanks, babe." He said and my smile dropped a long with my hands from around his neck. He tried to give me a kiss, but I turned my head.

"I'm just kidding." He chuckled. I felt his breathe on my cheek. "Happy anniversary, baby." He kissed my cheek. I turned my head and smiled at him.

"You remember." I got it. I placed my hands on both sides of his face and placed my lips on his.

"Of course I did." He said once he pulled away. "You wouldn't let me forget." I gave a shrug. I thought he would forget if I didn't keep reminding him. Most people wouldn't see this as a big deal. But when you have to face the problem we had to, a month is a huge deal. "I have something for you." He backed away from me and went to his bag.

He handed me a small velvet box. I looked at him with wide eyes. "You got me a present?" he nodded. From the look of the box, I could tell he got it from an expensive place. I didn't even want to see what's was in it. "Edward, it's only been a month. I can't take this." I tried to hand it back to him, but he pushed my hand back to me.

"Bella, just take it. We weren't together for your birthday. So if it makes you feel better, just think of it as a present for your birthday, our anniversary, and our first major holiday." I was still on the edge about it. He saw it. "Just open it, to see if you like it. If not I'll return it." He said. I saw the look in his eyes and gave in.

"Fine." I slowly opened the box, afraid that whatever it was would be way too pricey and flashy for my taste. When I opened it and a curvy and shiny 'E' was staring at me. My mouth dropped. I looked at him. "E for Edward." I guessed.

"Yes." he said as he took the box out of my hand. He pulled the charm out which was connected to a necklace. "Let me see it on you." He saw. I didn't say I liked it yet, but I didn't say I didn't like it either. I didn't say anything.

I jumped down off the desk and turned to my back to him. I took my hair in ponytail so he could put the necklace on me. It was cold against my bare neck. But as I looked down on me, it was really pretty. He kissed the back of my neck before telling me it was on. I let go of my hair so it would fall back into place.

He walked in front me to see it. "It's beautiful on you. But, it's your chose. What do you think of it?" He asked. I looked down at it again.

"I love it." I said honestly. I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a thank you kiss. But as I did, I felt bad. I pulled away. "Now you made me feel bad." I told him.

"What? Why?" he asked confused.

"Because I didn't get you anything." I said. To be quite honest, I didn't know what to get him.

He kissed the top of my head. "You don't have to. Your face when you opened it was enough." he said as he hugged me. That was what he was saying but I didn't want to believe that. I wanted to get him something, but what can it be? I didn't know now, but hopefully I would find it out.

I pulled back and looked up at him. "Can I sleep over tonight?" I asked him.

"Not tonight." He said. I gave a small pout. He chuckled and kissed my lips lightly. "I'm sorry, but since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I have to go over my father's house tonight. He has this thing about everyone being together from the holidays." He rolled his eyes in annoyance. I wonder what his problem with his father was. He barely talks about him and when he does, he gets this look on his face and keeps it short.

I started to ask him to skip it, but I know it's important to be with your family. It seems like forever since I've seen my mom, Alice and the Blacks. One day away from him won't make me drop dead on the floor from loneliness.

Plus, Alice might want me to go shopping with her on Friday morning. Alice plus a debt card plus all day sales was a scary combo.

"How about Friday night, can I sleep over then?" I asked again.

"Of course. I have to go Christmas shopping afterwards anyways." He gave me a kiss before going to his desk. I started to walk out but he stopped me. "Wait, Bella. You didn't say 'come' over, did you?" he asked with uncertainly.

I turned to him. I was kind of waiting for him to catch on to that. I shook my head. "You said sleep over, didn't you?" he asked to make sure. I nodded. He walked slowly to me. "You only slept over once and that wasn't intended. Are you saying that you'll going to come over with intention of actually sleeping over?" he asked confused.

I gave a light chuckle. I didn't know why he was so shocked by me saying that. "Yes, Edward. What, you're saying I can't or something?" I teased.

He rushed over to me and took me in his arms. He gave me a deep kiss on the lips. "Of course you can. But that seem like a big step." I had a feeling I knew what he was getting at. I didn't say anything. I might be ready to take that step and didn't want leave right after.

"It's okay. I think I can handle it." I winked at him. I gave him a kiss good-bye before leaving. "See you Friday." I said before closing the door and walking to my car.

On Thursday, my mom and I spent the day with Jacob and his father. Of course, I did most of the cooking. My mom tried to help me. When she did she burnt whatever it was she was trying to cook. It was so blackened; that I forgot what it was supports to be when it came out. I sent everyone in the living room, but Jake stayed with me.

"So how's it going with you and Mr. Molester?" he whispered sarcastically as he cut something.

"Jake, please stop calling him names like that." I sighed in annoyance. Ever since I left them that day to go to his room, it seem like he's been coming up with new names to call him. "You don't hear me calling your girlfriend a major bitch every chance I got." I told him. "Even if it is true." I mumbled.

"I heard that. And that's different. She's actually my age." He argued back.

He was dating Leah Clearwater. She was one of the only girls who lived in La Push. She dated one of his friends. When they broke up Jake was there to pick up the pieces. I met her and her brother when Jacob took me to a party down at La Push beach. I like her brother, but I was right about her being a total bitch.

Through out the party, she was holding on to Jacob like he would disappear if she let go. When she let him go to the bathroom, she used that time to corner me.

She asked me how I knew Jake and I told her we just to date, but we were just friends now. After that, she held him tighter and would start making out with him if she thought I was watching. Then she would give me this look. I just rolled my eyes and laughed at her insecurity and how stupid she looked.

Her brother told me the reason her and her last boyfriend broke up was because he was cheating and she was marking her territory. I told him to tell her not to worry about me. She didn't listen. Now every time I call his cell, she answered.

Speaking of which…"Yeah about that. I'm surprise she let you off your leash tonight." I put the spoon on the counter and turned to him. "She must not know I'm over here." I reached up and lightly kissed his cheek. "Or she would know how I close I am to taking you right in this kitchen." I whispered in his ear. With that he turned to me.

He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me to him. "What she doesn't know, weren't hurt her." He said. I laughed and pushed him away.

"Only in your wet dreams, Jacob." I joked as I turned back to the food. I was with the guy I wanted to be with. If he wasn't with the girl he wanted to be with, that was his problem.

"You know, you really shouldn't tease guys like that." he said as he walked next to me to finish cutting.

"Yeah, and you shouldn't think about cheating the first chance you get." I challenged him.

"We're not talking about her, okay. We talking about you over-age boyfriend." He jumped back to the start of the conversion. He did that because he knew I was right.

I left the comment alone. "It's going very well." I said with a smile.

"By the judge of that grin, I could tell its going very well. Wow, who knew old Mr. Masen had that in him." I noticed the way he said that. Damn, I was going to this crap from Alice and him.

I turned to him again. "First of all, he's only a few years older than me. And secondly, we haven't even done that yet."

"Yet?" he asked. I noticed how he said that too. He was saying that like I was going to give it up in an hour or something.

"Yes, yet." I said. I said yet because I knew I was going to do that when I was ready, I just don't know when I'm going to be ready. "Besides, I don't think that's any of your business when we do it." I snapped. "Just because the girl you're with fuck the guy she's dating her first chance doesn't mean…"

"Whoa, Bella calm down." he cut me off. "I was just playing." He said. I don't know why I snapped like that. I guess the comments were getting to me. Before I could say sorry, he talked again. "You're really falling for him, aren't you?" he asked in a serious tone.

I turn to the counter and lean on it. I looked out the window over the sink as to look for the answer I already knew. "I think I've already have."

Just then the oven beeped. "Well, in that case, I hope it works out." He kissed me on the cheek before going to the oven.

"Jake." I called over my shoulder. I turned to him. He closed the oven again and faced me in response. "Thanks for saying that." I smiled.

He winked. "Anytime, Bells."

XXX

On Friday, Alice kept me out all day, just like I thought she would. I can't say I hated it completely.

I got most of my Christmas shopping done. I got my mom some clothes, Alice earrings (which she picked out) Billy a book and Jake a few CD's. I only had one more person to get something for. When Alice pulled me in a store, I found the perfect thing. I brought it but deicide to wait until Christmas Day to give it to him.

When I got home from shopping, I packed an overnight bag to take to his house. Before I got in my car, I sat in my room to think.

I found myself getting nervous. I don't know where the feeling was coming from. It might be because this was the first time I actually planned to sleep over his house. Like he said, the first time was an accident. Any other time, I kept my eyes on the clock to leave at a reasonable hour. This time I staying over and think I was ready.

I got my bag and walked to the car.

When I got to his house, I knocked on his door with a bag on my shoulder and a container in my hand. He opened the door and greeted me with a kiss before saying anything. "I've waited two long days to do that." he said as I walked in. I laughed. He was not the only one. He took my bag off my shoulder and tossed it by the stairs. "What's in the container?" he gestured to it.

"I thought since I didn't get you anything, I made a pie." I handed it to him. He took the top off and dipped his finger on the top then licked off the filling. He gave a pleased hum then I followed him to the kitchen.

"So what do you what to do, we have all night." He said as he cut into the pie. I shrugged. I didn't know what we could do that we didn't do anything other time I was here, maybe one thing.

"Let's just watch a movie first." I said as he got a plate and set he piece he cut on it.

"Movie it is." He grabbed a fork and his plate and my hand then walked us to the couch. I sat on the couch as he picked out a movie for us to watch. When he sat down, I placed my legs on his and he used them as a stand for his plate.

He was about half way done with it before saying anything. "Bella this is really good." He praised it.

"Really, I didn't get a chance to try it. Let me have a piece." I said. He hummed no with his mouth full. "Just one bit.' I begged.

"Bella, there's a whole pie left in the kitchen. Just go get you a piece." He said before shoving another piece in his mouth.

"That's too far." I complained. "You're right here. Come on, don't be mean." I urged. He rolled his eyes. He cut off a small piece and lifted it on the fork to my mouth. I opened it so he can enter it with the fork. I wrapped my lips around it and he slide it out.

I chewed it and swallowed before talking. "Thank you." I kissed him on the cheek. I already knew how it tastes; it was just so much better off his fork.

When the movie was over he put in another, then another one then another one.

"Hey, babe, look at the time." He said as the third movie began to play. I looked at the clock on the DVD player and saw it was 12:42. I smiled.

"I know. It's late."

"Don't you think you should get going." he teased.

"Nope, unfortunately you have me all night." I was half-way on the couch and half on his lap. I just turned my head and smiled at him.

He wrapped his arms around me. "There's nothing unfortunate about it." He smiled before putting his lips around mine.

After we pulled away, I laid my head on his lap. I laid so my head faced the T.V. we were watching a movie about some girl dating a guy and having no idea what he is. As soon as she found out, she realizes she's in love with him. I think it was a little sudden but it made me think.

I flipped on my back. "Edward, do you think you can love me like that?" I asked seriously. About a week after the dream, I knew how I felt. I wanted to know if he could feel the way I did; even if it wasn't now.

"I could." He said. He turned his head to look down at me. "If I didn't already." My eyes popped open. I think he just said what I think he did.

I quickly sat up and turned to look at him. I took the remote and muted the T.V. I wanted to make sure I heard him right. I didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing. "What did you just say?"

He turned to me and sighed hard. "I said I love you." He repeated. He continued before I could say anything. "I know you probably don't feel the same way. It's only been a month and it might be going too fast…"

"Edward, will you shut up?" I said with a wide smile. I wanted to tell him, but he was talking too much. I moved my body closer to him and placed my hand gently on his cheek. "I love you too."

"What did you say? Did you just say you love me?" he asked in an unconvinced voice.

I nodded. "I have for about a month now." I told him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged. "I guess I was waiting for the right moment or for you to say it first." He pulled me in a tight hug. I didn't get too far because when I pulled back, he locked his lips against mine. In the kiss, I could feel all the love he had for me. I responded with the same amount of love, probably even more. Just then, I knew for sure.

I was ready.

I broke the kiss to catch my breath, "Edward, I want to be yours." I told him.

He gave me a puzzled look. "What do you mean, you already are." He said. I had a feeling he wouldn't catch on to what I meant.

"No, I mean more in scent than one. I'm ready." I simply told him before locking my lips around his.

I knotted my hands in his hair to keep him close to me as I fixed my legs. I pulled him with me as I laid down on the couch. When I felt my back against the cushion and his weight on me, I slowly untangled my hands from his hair. I moved my hands down his arms onto his torso.

When I got to the bottom of his shirt, I lifted it; just enough to place my hands on it. I began moving up his body; bring his shirt with my hands. As I ran my hands up his body, I felt all his abs and muscles and everything I knew was under his shirt from the second I walked in class on the first day.

I took my sweet time getting his shirt to his chest. I thought about it for what seem like forever and now I was getting to feel this. I couldn't believe I got to do this.

When I finally got it to the nape of his neck, I reluctantly pulled away to take off his shirt. I got it off and threw it to the floor. I placed my hands on both sides of his face to pull him to me again. I put my lips to his but he pulled away again in the next moment.

I looked in his eyes for the reason to why he did that. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked.

I smiled at the fact that was all that was wrong. He didn't have to ask that. "I've never been more sure of anything else." I pulled him to me, but again he pulled back in the same second.

"It's just, the reason I ask is because I said I would wait and the reason I made that promise was because when I went to far, you bit me." he was remaining me again.

"That was because we were in a freaking classroom." I snapped. I know why he made the damn promise; he didn't have to keep fucking remaining me. I remember what we were trying to do and my snapping was ruining it. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "And because I wasn't ready. We were going too far, too fast. We took our time and now I feel like I can handle it." I told him.

"Mind telling me what's changed from then to now?" he asked.

I tried hard not to roll my eyes. Was he ready asking me that? What did he think has changed? I resisted the urge to say it out loud. "Because you say love me. Unless you were…" I started asked but his look stopped me.

"Don't you ever say that; don't even think it." He said as if I spoke of blastulae. "I mean what I said. I do love you." I looked deep into his eye. I knew he was telling me the truth.

I moved my thumb along his cheek. "I love you, too. So please do this for me." I said. I never thought I would have to damn near beg a guy to do this. His answer was wrapping his lips around mine.

He slowly moved his hand to the front on my shirt. He unbuttoned the first two without any problems. But, once the second one was opened, he hesitated. I gently put my hand over his and guided to the next one, telling him it was okay for him to go on.

When my shirt was unbutton all the way, he wrapped his arm around my bare waist and pulled me closer to his body. I ran my fingers through his hair.

I gently pulled back. "Can we get more comfortable?" I asked. He let go of me and stood up. He held out his hand to me. I got off the couch. I took his hand and led him up the stairs.

The whole time I was walking, I looked down. I was watching my step. I didn't was to stumble or fall and kill the moment. He gestured that his room was on the right. When I got in front of it, I stopped. The door was cracked and could be easily opened with a light push.

As I stood in front of the door, I just kept thinking.

Once I go in his room that would be it. We really be signing the paper that said we were officially together. We said we loved each other, but once we were in room, on his bed, that would make it truer. But, once we do it, will we stop caring for each other? I don't want to be like all the other girls he had in there before me. I wanted this to go somewhere beyond sex.

He lightly pushed the door opened and waited for me to lead him in. I took a deep breath and stepped through the door frame.

Once we were in, he closed the door behind us. I don't why he did that since we were the only the two people in the house. It didn't matter to me. The only thing that mattered right now was his bed in the middle of the room. I let go of his and walked over to it. It was a little high off the floor, so I had to some what jump on to it. It was so soft. I could easily fall asleep in it.

"Your bed is soft." I ran my hand over the comforter. I looked up at him. "Come join me." I said.

He walked over and sat next to me. "Are you sure about this?" he asked again. I put my hands on his cheek and kissed his lips sweetly.

"Yes. I'm positive." I took off my opened shirt and toss it on the floor. I laid down and he followed my motion. He turned his body so it was half way on top of me.

"You know once we do this, there's no turning back." He looked deep into my eyes and warned again.

"Edward, will you stop?" I said seriously. "I want to do this. If you don't, let me know now and stop trying to get me to change my mind. But I love you and want to do this." I urged. He kept asking me the same question. I get he was worried about my feeling. I wouldn't say I wanted to do it if I didn't.

He nodded in understanding and lean into me. As our lips moved together, I ran my hands down his abs again to his belt and undid it. He followed my motion and he worked his hand down to mine. He unbuckled it without leaving my lips. I broke the kiss just to move my waist to get my hips up so he could get the belt out of its loops. He lips moved to my neck as he did so. At this point, we were both only in our underwear.

"Edward, do you have something?" I asked, knowing he knew what I was talking about.

"In the drawer, in the nightstand next to the bed." He said against my neck.

I reached over to open it. We were in the middle on the bed, so I couldn't see what was in there. I had to feel around to get what I was looking for. I grabbed a stack of- what felt like- magazines and TV guides and dropped them on the floor. I figured I could pick them up later.

I felt his hand wrap around my body again but this time, he was moving his hand up my back. I sighed at his light touch up my spine. I felt my bra getting looser by each passing moment. He pulled away from my neck to slip it off my arms.

"Edward, wait I can't find them." I told him before he went too far without what I was looking for.

He threw my bra on the on floor before rolling on top of me. He sat up and reached over to the drawer to pull out a box. I watched him as he opened the box and pulled out a golden wrapped package and handed it to me. He closer the box and tossed in back in the drawer before closing it.

He rolled back to the side of me to hook his fingers under the waistband of my panties. He repositioned himself to push them down. When they were down far enough, I helped him by kicking them off. He moved back up to my stomach. He placed his lips lightly above my bellybutton and started kissing upward. His lips jumped over my chest and on to my heart. I was happy that's where he when. I was ready, but not that kind.

He kissed my neck again before meeting my lips with his. he position himself to be on top of me again. As I moved my lips with his, I did the same thing he did. I hooker my thumbs under his boxer shorts to push then down. I pushed them as far as they could go without breaking the kiss. Eventually, he had to break it to get them completely off.

He touched my lips with his, so sweetly. As he did, he laid back on top of me.

I laid on hands over my head. He placed his hands on my hips and moved them up my arms. He moved his hands into mine and slipped the package out of my hand. He broke the kiss one more time. He rolled on his side. I stared up at the ceiling as I hear him rip open the wrapper and fiddle in the rubber inside.

When he was done, he laid on top of me again. I widened my legs so he could lay between them. I could feel the touch of the rubber against the inside of my legs. He took his hands in mine and place mine around his neck. I purposely let him take control of the saturation. He obviously knew what he was doing and didn't seem to mind that I was just laying there and let him do whatever. He worked his hands down my body to my hips again.

He looked at me deep in my eyes as to ask one more time was I sure. I nodded to encourage him to go. With that, he pushed his hips forward. When he entered, I felt a slight pain and I reacted with a light gasp. As if, some kind of thin wall has been broken. He looked at me with he heard it. I held him tighter to my body. It wasn't enough to make me make him stop.

He got the hint. He bought his hips back slightly and did the first motion over. He repeated this movement, causing friction. He kept a constant speed, not speeding up nor slowing down. I could still feel a little pain, but it was good pain at this point. I heard myself sighing and mourning in bliss. With each sound, he planted a small kisses around my neck as he continued with the motion.

After moments of him moving his hips back and forward into me and me making sounds that I didn't know I was making, he slowed his motions. He stopped completely and rolled over to the side of me. We were both breathing hard. He wrapped his arm around my stomach. I moved closer to him.

He kissed my cheek. "I love you, Bella Swan. I mean that. I really do." He said in my ear.

He sounded like he was trying to convince me that what just happened happen because he did feel the way he feel, which was love for me.

I turned my head to him and put our lips together. "I believe you. And I love you too." I told him. I kissed him again then lay in his arms.

He got up to put his boxers on. "You want a shirt or something?" he asked. I shook my head. I was too comfortable on his bed and didn't want to move yet. I lay under the covers to cover myself. I turned over to lie on my side. I felt him under next to and put his arm around my waist.

After a moment or two, I heard him lightly snoring in my ear. I looked over my shoulder and he was sleeping with his mouth opened slightly. I smiled and kissed his lips gently, carefully not to wake him. I slipped from under his arm and out of the bed. I was still undressed, so I tiptoed to his closet and quietly opened it so I could take a shirt to wear.

I opened the door and slipped out. I walked down the hall to bathroom. When I got in, I turned on the light and closed the door behind me. I walked over to the toilet to put the top down and sit on it. I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face in them.

I begin to cry.

I don't know why I was crying. It didn't hurt that bad for me to cry. I did love him and that was what I wanted. So, why the hell was I crying so hard? Was it because since we did that, it was actually illegal? Or was it because I'm so afraid things between us will change now? I don't know, but whatever it was, it brought waterfalls down my face.

When no more would come out, I grabbed some tissue to wipe my face. I splashed some water on my face to clear it. I grabbed a dry towel and patted my face dry. I put everything the way it was when I came in and walked back to the room. I slipped back into his bed and under his arm. I kissed him one more time before falling asleep.

XXX

I was woken up by a light coming from the window. I squinted my eyes in reaction. I looked at the clock on the side of his bed and it said 9:15. I looked over to him and he was still sleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I wasn't tired enough to do so. I lay under his stiff arm and watched him sleep.

I looked at the clock again and it said 10:03. I figure I get up to make me something to eat. I decided to take a shower first. I walked down the stairs to get my bag I left downstairs last night. I ran back upstairs and to the bathroom to take a quick a shower. When I got out, I put on some clean underwear and his shirt back on.

I walked to the kitchen and begin cooking pancakes for him and me. After placing the third one on the plate, I hear footsteps. I didn't turn around because I already knew. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Good morning Beautiful." he kissed me on the neck.

"Good morning." I smiled. I turned to kiss him on the lips then pushed pass him to put another pancake on the plate. When I was done cooking, I put two plates on the table; one for him and one for me.

Midway through eating he spoke. "So, are you okay?" he asked me.

I looked up at him with a confused look. "Of course. Why would you ask that?" I asked as I cut the pancake again with the side on my fork.

"Because last night, I heard you crying." My eyes popped open. It was embarrassing because he wasn't supports to hear that. That's why I went in the bathroom. He continued when he saw my face. "I woke up in the middle of the night and saw you weren't next to me. I got up to see where you went and as I walked to pass the bathroom, I hear what sounded like muffled cries. I started to walk in, but I figured you didn't want me to hear so I went back to the room and waited for you. I must've fell asleep before you came back in." he explained.

I bowed my head and forced on my plate. I really hope he didn't think I was crying because of him. "So, why were you crying?" he asked as if he could read my mind. I kept quite. He reached over for my hand. "Bella, please. You have to talk to me. Tell me what was wrong. Were you really not as ready as you thought you were?" he guessed; too bad that was far from the truth.

I looked at him and shook my head. He sighed hard. "See, Bella I told you." He said, misunderstanding my movement.

I stopped him. "No, that's not it." I reached to touch his cheek with my other hand. "I was ready. To be honest, I don't why I was crying. I guess I got afraid that things will change between us now." I confessed half of what I was thinking.

"Is that all?" he asked with his voice on edge. I nodded. "In that case, that's no reason to cry. You don't have to worry about things changing, because they won't. Okay?" He smiled. I smiled back and nodded again. We lean into each other and met our lips together.

We turned our attention back to our plates, but something came to my mind. "Edward, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, babe. What is it?" he brought his cup to his lips.

I came right out with my question. "How was it?" I asked for him. I knew it was good for me, but he could be a total different story.

By his reaction, I knew my question came as a shock. He began choking on the juice he was drinking. He put down the cup and continued to cough. I said his name in concern, but he held up his finger, signaling me to wait a second. He coughed a few more times before talking.

"What?" he asked as if he didn't hear or understand the question. I knew he did so I bowed my head.

"Please don't make me repeat it." I said.

"Well…I really don't know how to describe it." He said. I could hear he was having a hard time with the question.

I started playing with my fork. "The reason I asked was because, it wasn't my just first time with you; it was my first time period." I confessed. When he was quiet for too long, I slowly looked up and found his face frozen. "Edward." I sighed.

He unfroze just enough to run nervously his hand through his hair. I shouldn't have told him that. "Umm…okay." he said, having a hard time again.

Something made me think of why he was struggling so much. "You're not having a hard time with this because you were…?" I trailed off.

He snapped his eyes to me as if I said something to wake him up. "Oh nooooo. No, no, no, no!" he rushed out. I really didn't need those overexcited no's. "It just came as surprise, that's all."

I turned my eyes back to my plate. "I'm sorry I surprised you, but that still doesn't answer my first question." I remained him.

"Well, the first time is never that good. But all we need is practice." He suggested. I looked at him and smiled. Like I said, it wasn't bad for me so I was willing to take any practice.

I stood up and walked over to him. "Oh really. Well, can we start now?" I asked seductively. He took one more drink of his juice before standing up and taking my hand. I giggled as he ran us up the stairs to his room.

XXX

"BELLA!" I hear Alice yell in my ear. I jumped so hard that I dropped the pencil that was in my hand. I looked around and found us in the lunch room.

I looked her like she was crazy. "Damnit, Alice. What the hell is wrong with you? Don't scream in my ear like that." I snapped.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" she mocked my question. "What's wrong with you? You've been in a daze all day. I was just trying to snap you out of it." She explained.

"Oh. Sorry." I said calming down and then picking up my pencil from the floor.

"What's gotten in to you?" she said.

The question made me smile and remember why I was in such a daze. "It's more like whom."

"I don't understand." She said picking at her salad.

I began tapping my pencil. "Let's just say, I got some extra credit this weekend." I told her with a teasing tone. I looked at her and saw she was still looked confused. Wow, she can be stupid sometimes. I rolled my eyes and pulled her to me so I could whisper in her ear what I did over the weekend.

"You guys had sex?" she exclaimed a little too loud. I quickly covered her mouth with my hand.

I looked around and saw a few people looking at us. "Is the worst song I ever heard too." I said loud enough to cover what she said. When the people who were looking at us turned away, I removed her hand. "Yeah, said that a little louder. I don't think the people in the back hear you." I snapped in a hush tone, the same one she should have used.

"Sorry." She whispered back. She angled her body towards me. "So how was it?" she asked. I got a big, dumb smile on my face before looking down. She gasped. "It was good, wasn't it?" my smile answered her question. "I knew it. He looked like the type." She said shaking me in a playfully matter. I looked at her. Something about the way she said that didn't sit well with me, but I digressed. "So how did happen?"

"Well… we" just I was about to start, the bell rang. "I'll tell you later." I said as we gather our things.

At the end of the day, I told Alice I wanted to see Edward. She understood and let me go.

His door was opened so I walked right in. "Hey." I said with a smile as I sat on the edge of his desk.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Hey, you." He started to kiss me but the door was still opened. "You seemed a little distracted today in class." He said.

I smiled at the reason. "I was. And you're the reason why." I told him.

"Me?" he gave a confusing smile. I nodded towards the door, signaling him to go close it. He got up and followed my instructions. "Now how was I distracting you?" he asked when he was in front of me again.

It was funny he was asking that. He knew exactly how. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Well it's kind of hard to concentrate when there's a sexy teacher in front of me."

"Really?" he wrapped his hands around my waist. "And what about my sexiness was so distracting?" he said in a smug tone.

"Well, your hair for one." I said as I tangled my hand in it and remembering me grabbing it. He looked at me for more. "Your eyes." I said looking into them. "Your voice and your lips." I added softly before softly sucking on his bottom lip. I ran my hands down to the bottom of his shirt to un-tuck it. "But mostly, your body." I smiled.

He smiled because he knew where I was going. I took my hands of his shirt to take off mine. "What, Miss Swan; you want to do this in a freaking classroom?" he teased. I knew he was mocking me from what I said in his house Friday night.

I gave a fake laugh. "Shut up." I said before pulling towards me. I never thought I would be the one who would not care about doing it in a public place such as a classroom. Once I got him alone, I couldn't help myself.

It's that thing that once you have sex with someone for the first time – rather it's the first time period or the first time with a certain person – it seems like that's all you can think about. I think of it as, the 'first-time syndrome'.

As we kissed, I laid my back on his desk and he followed me. I put my hand over his shirt and started unbuttoning it. I was almost at the bottom when I stopped. My lips stop moving with his as I started to hear something.

Click, click, click.

I pushed him away. "Wait stop. You hear that?"

"What?" he said as he pulled back so I could sit up.

Click, click, click. I heard the clicking again. I knew that sound. I usually hear it in school. It was heels stepping against the floor.

"That." I said jumping off his desk.

"Bella, what is…" he started to say but I shushed him.

I cupped my ear against the board. Lucky for us, if the people next door weren't loud enough to come through the wall, this was the only way to hear what's going on in the next room.

I heard a girl started to talk. "Hi, Miss Smith." I heard her say. Miss Smith is the math teacher that was next door to Edward.

"Hi, dear. How are you?" she said.

"Fine. Do you know where Mr. Masen is?" the girl said.

"I think he's in his room, but I'm not sure." Miss Smith answered back.

"Okay, thank you." That was the last thing she said before I heard the clicking again.

"Crap!" I said as I pushed away from the board. I turned to him. "Fix your shirt."

How'd you guys like it. i know, the lemon wasn't that good or long for that matter, but like i said, it is T so i was trying to play it safe. better safe than sorry. for anyone who wondering, it's called 'realiztion' because they realize they love each other; get it.

umm... person who asked about the whole virgin thing, did that answer your question?:/ i hope it did. if not, i'm sorry. other people, if anyone else has any questions or suggestion,let me know by a review or a PM. i'll try to answer them and/or put it in the next chapter.

Before i froget, i have to tell you guys something. i have to take another break next week (NOOOO! T_T) i know it sux. but i have to do this stupid waste of time, energy and paper called a senior project. even through i'm a junior, i have to write a paper or something for it. it's so dumb and i hate it. but anyways, next week i doing whatever i need to do for it.

BTW: my other FF (Daybreak) is looking kind of loney. read it. i promise it's good. (dispite the lame summary) but keep reading this one too, or neither. i don't know. i felt i lost some viewers. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME! I'M DOWN ON MY KNEES, PLEASE! i 4got to tell you guys, APL is almost done. my first FF is almost finished. YAY! we were half way done last chapter but i 4got to say something. i know, if it wasn't screwed to my neck...

well, anyways. you guys rock out loud. i love you guys! Keep R & Ring. Luv & Rockets