Title: Free Ramen For Naruto!

Premise: Naruto. AU modern world. Naruto and Gamakichi are sent on an errand to the waste treatment center when Choji calls them with some urgent news. Based on a favorite scene of mine from The Simpsons Movie.

Naruto sat in the driver's seat of his pick-up truck, grunting as he waited for the traffic to move forward.

"Hey, Naruto?" Gamakichi asked from the passenger's seat.

"What?" Naruto groaned.

"How long do we have to sit here?"

"Until this stupid line gets through and we can dump your crap!" Naruto snapped back, gesturing the "Toad Crap" silo strapped to the roof.

"Hey, it's not all my fault!" Gamakichi snapped back. "Pooping is totally natural! All animals do it! Blame whoever made nature like that!"

Naruto huffed. "Yeah. Sorry. I know it's a bitch that Hinata wanted us to do this, but-" He was suddenly caught off by his phone ringing, playing "Wind" by Akeboshi. He frantically looked around the pockets and glove compartment for his phone, before he listened for a moment and heard it coming from Gamakichi's stomach.

Naruto glared at him as he rolled it out from his tongue. Naruto swiped it away. Amazingly, there wasn't any spit or mucus on the phone. Naruto brought it to his ear.

"Hello?" He asked

"Naruto!" Choji's voice answered, almost shouting over a loud crowd in the background. "Hey! Okay, so I got some good news and bad news. The bad news is that Ichiraku's is going out of business."

Naruto's eyes widened in horror. He nearly dropped his phone. The world seemed to freeze around him.

"Please tell me you're joking," he managed to squeak.

"No. I'm sorry man."

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto so loud that it would make Darth Vader look subtle. After a moment, he brought the phone back to his ear and tried to keep talking. "Please, Choji! Tell me the good news before I have a heart attack!" He blurted.

"Alright. Good news is all day, they're giving away free ramen! You gotta get down here for it!"

Naruto felt his spirits rise, and a grin came to his face. "HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP!" He squealed giddily. He glanced back at the line. "Okay, there's just this one thing I gotta take care of, then I'll be right there."

"Well, ya better hurry. It's going fast!" Choji said tauntingly as he hung up.

"GRRRRRR!" Naruto grunted as he glanced at his watch, then at the line again. It still had not moved an inch.

"What was that all about Naruto?" Gamakichi asked.

Ignoring the frog, Naruto thought of what to do. He still had some space. He had not gone past the fence yet. He could still pull out of line and go somewhere else. Still, Hinata wanted him to dump the waste. He had to get that done... unless he...

"No, Naruto!" Jiraiya's voice shouted. A little miniture Jiraiya appeared on Naruto's right shoulder. "You promised Hinata you would do this for her. I thought you never go back on your word, right?"

"No, don't listen to him!" Orochimaru's snakey voice hissed as he appeared on Naruto's left shoulder. "You want that ramen, don't you? And this is your last chance to experience Ichirakus! Aren't you going to miss that delicious taste?"

Naruto glanced between the two figures for a moment. Finally, he shrugged and said, "Yeah. Screw it. I'm going with the ramen."

He shifted the truck into reverse, and furiously pulled out of the line, and dashed off down the road toward the lake.

"Woah! Naruto, where are we going?" Gamakichi screamed as they bolted down the road.

About ten minutes later, Naruto drove them off the road and down a small hill towards the lake. They crashed through and drove over dozens of signs all saying "NO DUMPING". At one point, he hit Danzo, who was carrying a sign saying "YOU SUCK!"

They finally crashed through a wall of concrete barriers, and parked right up at the edge of the lake.

Naruto leapt out of the truck, cut the ropes, and pushed the silo off into the water.

As the silo sank down into the water, the entire lake suddenly started to bubble a sickly green. When the bubbles cleared, the water turned black, and the bright red face of Satan appeared in the middle.

"EVIL!" He hissed before vanishing as quickly as he came.

"Oh boy," Naruto muttered under his breath. He knew he just did something really bad. He frantically jumped back into the rear seat of the truck.

"Drive, drive drive!" He hissed to Gamakichi.

"Dude, I'm a frog!" Gamakichi snapped back.

"Oh, right." Naruto hopped out of the rear seats, back into the driver's seat, and slammed on the gas, speeding away as fast as they could. Naruto started hyperventilating as they did so. He knew this was going to come back and haunt him.

"Dude, you okay?" Gamakichi asked.

Naruto forced himself to calm down. "Yeah... I'm fine... Okay. Ramen Time!"