The next day, Penny was getting ready for a lunch shift at the Cheesecake Factory. As she was pulling her yellow vest over her head, her cell phone rang. It was Raj.
"Penny, I need your help. I've never seen Sheldon acting so weird, and I've seen a lot of weird from him over the years," Raj said.
"Oh, no. What's he done this time?" she groaned.
"Nothing, that's the point. He's been staring at his whiteboard all morning, but he hasn't picked up the marker once. It's spooky."
"Look, Raj, don't say anything to him, but he and Amy are, um... well, I can't really talk about it. Let's just say it's pretty awful."
"Oh, that's too bad. Did she dump him?" Raj asked in an entirely too-cheerful voice.
"No, she just... I don't know what's going on between them," she prevaricated. "Just be nice to him, okay? Buy him some ice cream or something at lunch."
Raj's tone turned serious. "Trust me, Penny. I am well aware that the only reason I am still employed is because of Sheldon Cooper. I'll do whatever I can."
"Thanks, Raj," Penny said. She bid him good bye and hung up.
Penny looked at the torn pages of the relationship agreement lying on her kitchen counter. It had felt wrong to her to leave them at Sheldon's apartment. She sighed heavily. This whole situation kept spiraling out of control, causing more damage as it went. If only there was some way she could make Sheldon feel better.
As she moved to toss the papers in the trash, a phrase caught her eye. The wheels in her head started turning. She quickly powered up her laptop. After a few minutes, she felt she had a winner of an idea. It was pretty far away, but she knew Sheldon didn't mind road trips if it was for a good cause, like a Star Trek convention. She was pretty sure this would qualify in his mind as a good cause.
She made the reservations and got a friend at work to cover her waitressing shifts that weekend, feeling a twinge of regret as she did so. This trip was not only costing her hundreds of dollars, but she was also losing two weekend shifts, when tips tended to be higher. Well, it was worth it, she told herself firmly as she made the reservations. Checking the time, she decided there was enough time to sneak into Sheldon's apartment and pack a bag without him knowing. He might fuss when he found out she had gone into his room without permission. She almost hoped he would argue; anything was better than that hollow, devastated look.
Penny threw the bags in the back seat of her car and drove to Caltech. She had already texted Raj to let him know that she was "kidnapping" Sheldon for the weekend. She made her way through the maze of hallways until she came to the office that the two scientists shared. She knocked on the door and went in. Raj caught her eye, mouthed "good luck", and exited silently. Sheldon was exactly as Raj had described, staring at a blank whiteboard.
"Hey, Sheldon," she said gently.
"Hello, Penny," he replied automatically, but he didn't take his eyes from the whiteboard. His voice was even more emotionless that usual.
"I have a surprise for you," she said, plopping down on his desk.
"I hate surprises," he answered in a vehement tone, still not looking at her.
Oh, right, she thought, that last "surprise" that Leonard sprung on him was a doozy.
"Well, you're going to like this one," she said aloud. "It has to do with trains."
He turned to face her. "I do like trains," he said, almost wistfully.
"Great! Let's go, then," she said cheerfully, jumping up.
"Now? We're going now?"
"Wouldn't want to miss your train, would you, sweetie?" she asked with a mischievous grin.
"But... but where are we going? I'm not ready! What should I bring?" he asked in a panic.
"Oh, don't worry. I've taken care of everything." She opened the office door with a flourish to show him two bags, his black duffel bag and her Hello Kitty carry-on suitcase, sitting out in the hallway.
"Are we staying somewhere overnight?" he cried. "I need my Friday night pajamas-"
"Got 'em."
"-and my toothbrush and toothpaste-"
"Already packed, in a clean plastic baggie."
"Socks and underwear?" he asked suspiciously.
She nodded, turning a little pink under his scrutiny.
"Did you pack-"
"Sheldon, if I forgot anything, I'll buy you a replacement, but if we don't leave now, we'll miss our train."
He hesitated for several seconds more in an agony of indecision, then finally nodded once, a sharp, resolute gesture. He grabbed his Members Only jacket and strode out the door.
Sheldon sat in the passenger seat of Penny's car, silently staring out the window. Other than mentioning that her "check engine" light was on (again), he hardly spoke at all as Penny drove them up to Bakersfield. She hadn't told him the rest of her plan yet, and he hadn't asked. But if two tickets to the Great Train Expo in Santa Rosa didn't make him smile, she might have to go with plan B, which involved a lot of yelling, and maybe some Junior Rodeo moves.
When they reached the Amtrak station, Sheldon seemed to perk up a little. They boarded the train, and he began poking around, examining every room and compartment, and regaling Penny with "fun facts" about trains. She would have been bored stiff if it weren't for the fact that he was finally acting like his old self again, in all his obnoxious pedantic glory. She grinned to herself. Since when had she started to actually like it when he was being annoying? Sure, she had always been fond of him, but the recent havoc that Leonard had caused in both their lives made her feel closer to him. She wished she could have protected him from this pain. At the same time, she also wanted him to man up and face his problems.
They sat in the dining car and ordered root beer floats. Penny was actually enjoying the train ride at this point. She took the tickets out of her purse and slid them across the counter. He gasped, and then suddenly, Penny was engulfed in a lanky, awkward hug. She giggled and hugged him back. "You're welcome, sweetie," she whispered.
When they reached the convention center, Penny immediately became aware of a problem. Years of hanging out with "her" guys and visiting Stuart's comic book store had inured her to geeky behavior. Now, as they stood in line waiting to register for the convention, she felt the prickling feeling of being stared at. Looking around, she saw she was the only woman in line. When they finally stepped up to the registration tables, the overweight man with thick glasses hardly took his eyes from her chest the entire time he was checking them in.
As they walked away from the table, Sheldon was carefully adjusting his lanyard so it hung perfectly straight. Penny yanked on his arm and pulled him, fussing and squawking, into a dim corridor that contained an out-of-order ATM.
"Shut up and listen, Sheldon," she hissed. "Look, I brought you to this model train convention. I rode a train here, which turned a two-hour trip into a four-hour trip. And now, I am going to spend all day looking at little model trains with you, so I need you to do something for me."
"All right," he said uncertainly.
"So, no offense, but most of these guys look like they live in their mom's basement. It's probably been months since some of them have even seen an actual woman besides their mother. Do you see what I'm getting at here?"
He blinked at her. "Not at all. Penny, the tradition of model trains dates back to..."
"I don't care about that, Sheldon!" she snapped, and then she relented. He truly had no idea why she was so uncomfortable. She sighed. "Look, I can deal with the fact that they're going to be staring at my boobs or my ass all day, but I think you owe it to me to keep them from hitting on me."
Sheldon frowned. To her shock, his gaze drifted down to the curve of her breasts under her form-fitting t-shirt. She felt her cheeks growing warm under his perusal. Then he circled around and subjected her backside to the same intense scrutiny.
He came back around to stand in front of her and said, "You may have a valid point. What action do you expect me to perform to protect you from the unwanted attentions of these scurrilous ruffians?"
She stared at him in surprise, and, oh dear Lord, there was an unholy gleam in his eyes. Somehow, he was picturing himself as Luke Skywalker, or Captain America, or some other hero out to rescue the damsel in distress. She sighed. The way he was looking at her right now was kind of hot (Sheldon... hot? I did not just think that, some part of her brain protested), but she knew he wasn't going to like her solution.
"I want you to hold my hand."
That did the trick. His eyes snapped back up to hers, and he yelped, "What?"
"Or let me link my arm through yours, or even put your arm around me if you can manage it. If the guys at this convention think I'm your girlfriend, most of them won't have the nerve to come hit on me."
He stared at her outstretched hand as if it were a venomous serpent.
Penny suddenly started rooting through her purse. "I thought I had... aha!" She held up a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer, and then poured a dollop on her hands and rubbed it around.
"Want some, sweetie?"
"Yes, thank you. That is... surprisingly considerate of you."
After he had applied the hand sanitizer too, she extended her arm and wiggled her fingers expectantly, a challenging smirk on her face. He stared at it for a long moment before taking her hand in his.
"There! That's not too bad, is it?" she asked cheerfully.
"I suppose not," he conceded ungraciously.
Her other hand snaked out and dug into his side, causing him to jump and shriek. She grinned at him unrepentantly. "Come on, Moonpie. Let's go see some trains."
He smiled back at her, and for a moment, she was transfixed by the open joy on his face. That was what she had been missing, what made this whole trip worthwhile. He held out his arm to her, crooked at the elbow. With a radiant smile, she placed her hand on his arm, and the two of them went to view the model trains.