Author's note: Hi, everyone! Just wanted to let you know I've changed my profile to accept anonymous reviews. I'm delighted to see that so many Gilligan fans from all over the world are enjoying these stories, and I'd love to hear from you! And thanks to you who've already reviewed; you're an inspiration!
Bob wasn't surprised Gilligan tripped over things, especially at night. Without the studio lighting the crew's hut was a shadowy cavern, relieved only by dim moonlight and the tiny, fitful flare thrown by the candle on the table. Still, even after Bob had blown the candle out he was still able to climb into his hammock with the ease of long practice and avoid triggering the Skipper's attention. Once there he lay nervously, hoping that, as on the night before, the old sea-dog would be too tired to chat. Bob dreaded the night-time chats more than anything, where he might slip up and say something un-Gilligan.
At first things were promising. The Skipper's trademark snoring had the bamboo hammock poles jiggling slightly with their force. Then the snoring suddenly stopped. Bob held his breath.
"Gilligan? Are you awake?"
Bob flinched and tried to fake his own snoring.
"Oh come on, Gilligan. I know you can't fall asleep that fast. I want to talk to you."
Bob tried to sound sleepy and gave a big yawn. "Couldn't we talk in the morning, Skipper? I'm kinda tired."
"It'll just take a few minutes, little buddy."
"Oh…okay." The actor's voice took on a nonchalant air. "What'd you want to talk about, Skipper?"
"About our days together in the navy."
Oh, no. Bob tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. "That old stuff? Gee, Skipper, isn't it kinda late to be bringing that up? That was a long time ago. There's lots of stuff that's happened on the island since then."
There was a quiet persistence in the Skipper's voice that set Bob's nerves on edge. "Yes, but it's important to me, Gilligan. I'd think those days were important to you too. After all, that's where we met."
"I know that, Skipper." Bob suddenly remembered a line from the pilot episode and lunged at it like a drowning man. "That's where I pulled you out of the way of that depth charge! I saved your life!"
"That you did, little buddy. It was one of the bravest things I ever saw anybody do."
"I guess it was kind of brave, wasn't it?"
"It sure was. You should have gotten a medal for it."
Bob smiled, impressed with his own improvisational skills. "Yeah. I guess I should have!"
Suddenly the bamboo poles moved again, but this time they jolted as at a violent movement. In a moment the Skipper loomed over the upper hammock. "What did you say?"
Bob shrank back, alarmed. "I...I...Skipper, what's the matter?"
"Answer me! What did you just say about a medal?"
"I just said I should have gotten one!"
"You did get one. Or should I say, Gilligan did!" With the speed of a striking cobra the big man reached out and grabbed the front of Bob's shirt. The next thing the slender actor knew, he was being dragged bodily from the hammock and thrust aloft until his feet dangled helplessly above the ground. His hands plucked uselessly at arms like steel bands. "Skipper!" he gasped. He tipped his head forward to look down at his captor, and gulped.
Bob had never seen this look on Alan's face, not even when a smart-aleck director had tricked them into flailing around in the freezing lagoon when the cameras weren't rolling. The Skipper's eyes blazed with fury, borne out by the fierce grip of his powerful hands. But for all their strength those hands were shaking, and Bob could see the fear behind the wrath in those blue eyes.
"You slimy sea-snake! What have you done with my little buddy?"
"N-nothing, Skipper, I swear—"
The grip tightened. "So you thought you could fool me, eh? Me, that's been his big buddy for years? You thought I wouldn't see how you fouled up in a hundred ways since you walked into camp last night? Listen, mister Russian Spy or whoever you are, if you don't tell me where he is right now, they'll be picking you up off this floor with a shovel!"
"I'm not a spy!" Bob gasped. Lord, he thought. He's strong enough to do me some serious damage, and scared enough. "Skipper, Gilligan's not hurt! He's fine! Honest!"
"Then where is he?"
Bob searched frantically for an answer, but all he could think of was the truth. "In Los Angeles!"
"What?"
"At the CBS studios at 4024 Radford Avenue!" yelled Bob in a delirium of fear.
The Skipper gave him a shake that rattled his teeth. "Cut the bilge and start making some sense, Mister! I'm serious!"
Bob's brain started flipping through the episodes at breakneck speed. "I know you are! You braved a typhoon for him! You wouldn't stay in the cave without him!"
"What?" The Skipper stared. "So you aren't a spy, huh? How long have you been watching us?"
"All America's been watching you! Skipper, I swear it by Pop's ring! The one you tried to give him but he couldn't pull it off your finger! Just put me down and I can explain everything!"
A bit, just a little bit of the fear in the Skipper's eyes faded into confusion. Slowly he lowered Gilligan's look-alike, but kept a firm grip on his shirt. Bob sighed gratefully as his feet hit the dirt floor and he could stand up straight. "Skipper, I swear to you, I'm the last person that would ever wish Gilligan any harm. This was all an accident! We never meant to switch places with Gilligan or the Professor or Mary Ann!"
"What? You mean that the man and woman you walked into camp with yesterday aren't - you mean - you're all phonies?" For a moment the fear returned and the hand clenched Bob's shirt again. "Good Lord! How are the Professor and Mary Ann mixed up in this? Are you holding them with Gilligan? "
Bob shook his head desperately. "Nobody's holding them. They're free, but they're stuck in our place, just like we're stuck in theirs! But maybe if you help us, we can get back, and get the real Gilligan, Mary Ann and Professor back too!"
The Skipper looked searchingly at the image of his little buddy and saw the same honesty as in Gilligan's eyes. At last he released the smaller man's shirt and simply gripped him by the arm. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but I've seen a lot of crazy things on this island. All right, Mister-whoever-you-are. We're going to go see your 'Professor and Mary Ann,' and the three of you better do some fast talking."