Seven and twelve are Biblical numbers. *eats seventh of twelve pizza rolls*
*sips tea* I'm ready for the British!
Hang on, it has to download…Here we go!
Dang it—out of pizza rolls…I'm constantly eating when I read, aren't I?
Oh, dear. What happened? What are the Dursleys blaming you for this time, Harry?
Um…he and the owl will get out of your hair, for once? How is it *bad* if Harry keeps his snot out of your lives? Send him to the Weasleys forever, and ya won't have to see him—or wizard stuff—again. (smh)
How classy -_-
Ew . He sounds like worse of a blob than in the movies (gag)
Magic word XD Oh, Harry…Was that intentional ;)
You're the abnormal ones. Isn't a turn of phrase like that a good means of detaching himself from the real "'M' word"? Muggle? (smirk)
Winded rhinoceros…mmmmust be better-looking than Vernon, that's for sure.
*abnormal. The word is "abnormal".
Aw, he's homesick T-T That, or maybe the sight of his cousin subconsciously grosses him out to the point of being sick..."a sickening display"
Wha—he SAVED YOUR LIFE last semester! (mutters) Ingrate…
Nice recap of the game, Rowling. Concise and memory-jogging. Remember Harry nearly eating the Snitch, or almost crashing into Snape? Good times.
His old bedroom, you mean?
More shameful than not doing homework? I lowkey wish the Dursleys would lock *my* stuff up .
Poor Hedwig! Is Vernon not worried people, namely wizards, would come check on Harry if he doesn't correspond with them? Such a counter-productive family…weirdos (no offense, Harry).
Vernon had a *black* mustache?
No wonder Hagrid's pig spell didn't work…unless it did, and his porkishness is slowly becoming more pronounced. Nah!
His mother's eyes, his dad's everything-else. ~my description of Harry …Plus a scar and glasses—nerdy and edgy at the same time!
(ghost noises)
Love…just like Dumbell-door said T-T
Maybe it was shame at failing to kill a baby? "U nu, I failed…waah~*disappears*"
I keep reading "He was brought up by his dead mother" O.0 Elric brothers? No, different scenario…
…and it made an exact, lightningy shape. You survived a blow to the head 'cause God wanted to punish us. Now, shut up and get in the cupboard!
Oi! Remember that nickel last Christmas? Tch. (mutters) Ingrate…
You'll have to release the owl to stop the hooting, Dursley.
Harry has the best job. This all sounds so cringeworthy and fake, the master-builder will not make the deal with him if he sees the forced nature of this "charming" family…unless he does business with people he can't trust to be straight with him, or has a bad judgement of character.
I remember I never really understood this whole sitch. I thought it was just an ordinary visit, but it was a high-stakes dinner party...oh, well.
Because scheduling every minute of an event definitely works…they'll be so impressed. (rolls eyes)
I'd be disgusted to take that arm (gag).
Better that than being part of that circus, buddy. It's beneath you…literally, once you're upstairs! :P
(facepalm) I don't blame Dudley for lacking enthusiasm, to be fair.
Are they seriously going with that one? (points finger-gun at own head, hesitates, points it at Dursleys, gives up and slams head onto desk)
What if she doesn't want coffee? What if he wants some, too? Wat if he wants to talk drills sooner? Later? What if they want a tour? What if Hedwig hoots again, and they want to see the owl? What if false flattery doesn't impress them? What if he decides the deal just isn't good enough, despite whatever personal impressions you leave?
They might leave you, Harry…which would actually be nice, unless they want to keep you locked up in Majorca as their slave, far away from Hogwarts…hm, maybe sabotaging the dinner would be good for you…
Should've prepared those ahead of time, Dursley.
Lucky! He doesn't even have to clean anything! It's like they don't want his wizarding cooties anywhere!
Hang on a sec *gets mini cake from downstairs* Happy Birthday, Harry! Wait…you're fictional and can't transport the cake through realities. T-T Happy Birthday, anyway, Harry! ;P
What about Neville? He hung with you guys a lot, too, didn't he? A fair amount, anyway. Neville ^^!
T-T Do they think he's dead?
*ahem* You mean, again?
It would be faster to roll, probably. XD
T-T To be fair, I forget my friends' birthdays, too. I'm working on that. But…they likely didn't forget! You nearly died together, after all. T-T
I can imagine that. XD Maybe I should write a short fanfic about Draco Malfoy visiting Privet Drive at this point, and them having a sort of frenemy dynamic which they silently agree never to mention again once school rolls around . XD
Face-to-face-to-face, you mean (Quirrell ;P)
What? But that was the highlight of your whole year! Your near-death exper—I mean, adventures—are the only reason you get to go back each year for sequels!
His stutter…No, wait, that was Quirrell's chosen façade.
A cat?
How are his trousers slipping? Better yet, how can he breathe? Oh, yeah, and…HE WAS BLONDE?
Child abuse, Rapunzel-style!
What would've happened if Harry accidentally wound up saying a real spell? Would hilarity or tragedy ensue? Either way, satisfaction would be certain. ^^
Wow, he's fast.
"savagely" Savage Harry is still best Harry, even when that's definitely not what the book meant by "savagely". Similar story with "lolled", even though a lolling Dudley LOLing is "a sickening display". I imagine his ice cream is a vanilla cone, by the way, though I prefer mint chocolate chip in a bowl myself. Any ice cream should be insulted, since Dudley's featured eating some.
Aw, she bothered to feed him anything at all! Now, that's family 3
She could've just made him take it to his room with him. No dishes are required for bread and cheese, and it's not like she vacuums there.
DOBBY! ~ I actually hated him in the movie, so why am I so happy? I know he's some kind of cinnamon bun, that's why! Let's see if he's just as irritating here,though…
It was Dobby. He big green eyes belonged to Dobby.
Just as rehearsed. (slow clapping) Brava, Dudley (eye roll)
Aw *pouts*
AW! T-T
HE'S DEFINITELY MORE TOLERABLE HERE! HE'S THE MOST TOLERABLE A CHARACTER COULD BE! HE'S MORE THAN TOLERABLE—HE'S LIKABLE! T-T
Hiccoughing .
A very ugly doll XD
THAT'S why he did that! He accidentally insulted his masters and had to punish himself! That flew over my head as a kid—all I saw was him being loud and frustrating!
T-T Harry…you're so sweet and kind T-T (when you're not falsely accusing teachers, that is)
T-T!
Oooh, this part also made me semi-hate Dobby as a character. He can handle it, Dobby!
What else is new? -_-
Think, Harry, think. This house elf serves a cruel family. That much is clear. He's known this for months, as he just told you. When asking who's planning this, he cannot tell you directly. It must be either his family or someone connected closely with them. You'd think last year would've improved your deductive skills.
You can give him several hints of some danger, and he's oblivious for plot reasons…but mess with his mail, and suddenly Harry Potter is Sherlock Holmes. (eyeroll)
This. This was another reason to dislike him. Still, being older now, I know he was doing it to protect Harry…Even so -_-
Wait…did he have pockets, or was the pillowcase-shirt tight enough to hold the letters firmly? How did Harry not notice a protruding stack of letters on Dobby's chest, which would've been there if he was storing them in his shirt?
He could've just "given his word" and then broken it…but that wouldn't be the honorable Gryffindor thing to do, would it? *sigh* Plus, it would have set a bad example for people.
Sneak skills: activated!
Excuse me? What about American plumbers? Did you have American plumbers come do your pipes, were you in America when you met them, or was it just a funny joke you told? Now I kind of wanna hear it…
It was a pudding? I thought it was a cake .
That…that is some crazy efficiency, right there.
And yet, you sent a mail-owl straight into a room full of Muggles. Hypocrites. (smh)
:O
:O A literal prison cell :O
Aw, he still feeds his owl, too T-T Dobby, you should've let him take his chances. He's the great Harry Potter, isn't he? Have a little f-*remembers the plan*…HAVE A LITTLE FAITH, will you?
Hagrid did it once. Maybe Dumbledore would send him again.
Dursleys. There is nothing normal about starving your nephew to prevent him from going to boarding school.
He probably would do that, tbh.
Why would the Dursleys be in a crowd of wizards?
Peter Pan? Oh, it's just Ron. Hi, Ron! Fancy timing!
THE TWINS ^^!
Precisely! ^^ Trust the Weasley twins to get you out of a jam! Weasley bros are the best, Ron included!
How are the Dursleys sleeping through this? Can I just…knock them out, to be sure they don't interfere? Is that possible? I want to use that frying pan Petunia had earlier.
They're amazing! I don't remember them going cat-burglar. Those twins really are the best!
Exactly! This guy gets it. (to no one in particular) This guy gets it!
"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" ~Hedwig
So, who would be legally accountable as kidnappers? The guardians who locked him up in a prison-like manner, or the teenagers who flew-drove off with him?
Nice one-liner XD "See you next summer!" LOL
Hm…(strokes chin) Could be a joke, or…Hm…could someone really have sent him? Surely, Dobby was acting on his own…Wasn't he?
But at least Draco isn't a fat, disgusting blob.
You didn't even know a house-elf when you saw one, Harry. How would you know if Draco has one?
Hm…
Hm…what's up with Percy? A girlfriend, a problem, or some combination of the two.
Like…a car, for example?
I knew it! He's a rogue, just like his sons!
Ottery? A place with otters? Ottery?
I…didn't know there was a Saint named Catchpole…
Such a graceful landing…hope the car appreciates it while that lasts.
"There once was a crooked man, who lived in a crooked house…"
XD
XD
(winces) Mum's rage…eee…
XD
She gets mad, but she lets go once the moment is gone, and she doesn't hold it against Harry. Good mom. ^^
XD
Witching Hour? O.0
So…if they were just a little more patient…it would have been over after Friday?
I'm sure most witches would fancy him.
The Weasley home gets more and more charming! ^^
Best description of lawn gnomes, given to us by Ron Weasley. Maybe he should write a book.
Troll heads = coconuts, gnome heads = potatoes. Got it. The internet would have a field day with gnomes. (smh) missed meme-opportunity.
XD
Aw ^^. Their dad sounds sweet! The Weasleys are the best family in the series!
Poor guy .
He just got home T-T
XD
His reaction XD
Did literal sparks fly from her eyes? Can never tell with wizards…
Did she really? Can never tell with wizards…
FANGIRL.
Ron Stoppable
Eee. Thinking about stepping into a pue-orange room…My eyes…they hurt .
(sigh) this is about the time I planned to do my homework…I should have done it last week, when I had the chance, so I could keep going tonight, with stuff I actually care about…oh, well T-T Goodbye for now.