Shit. Shit. I'd kind of lost myself there for a second, punching him over and over. It was kind of like blacking out. I looked at him, curled on the floor, his arms up to protect his face. I had that crushing feeling that I was like my dad. I was just like him.
"Oh my God," I said, and tried to pull his arms away from his face, "are you okay?"
He stood up, brushed himself off, and looked at me with this combination of caution and horror.
"Jesus, Craig, what is wrong with you?"
I sat down on the couch, hung my head. I didn't know. Everything had just got so complicated.
"I don't know. Marco, look. I'm sorry, okay?"
He didn't say anything. Just stood there looking at me with that same look. Things weren't okay.
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Marco left, and it was awkward. I mean, I didn't know where we stood. It was sort of giving me a headache trying to figure it out and I was just going to stop thinking about it. Then Joey called and said he had to work late so that meant I had to make supper for Angie.
I didn't mind, really. It gave me something to do besides thinking about Marco and Ashley and wondering about all that shit. In times like this I wish my mom was still alive. I could have talked to her about it, or sort of about it. I used to be able to talk to her about anything. I bit my lip. It wasn't true, that wasn't true. I think half the time I made up things about my mother because she was fading. I didn't tell her my dad was beating me…that would have been something to talk about it. I had tried to make her think what I tried to make everyone think, and that was that things were just fine.
I wasn't a gourmet cook or anything. I just made grill cheeses with the slice of tomato in them. Poured us some juice. Talked about her day. Man, sometimes I completely envied Angie. Her life was so simple. But I guess it would get all complicated, just like everyone's does.
When the phone rang I thought it would be Joey saying he was staying even later at work or going on a date or something, but it wasn't Joey.
"Craig?" It was Ashley.
"Yeah. Hi,"
"Hi. Listen, can you come over?"
"Uh, maybe. Joey's at work late, but when he gets home I can probably come over,"
"Okay. Just call me if you can't come. Bye."
Ashley was upset. I mean, I knew she was. But I heard it so clear in her voice. I half hoped Joey would be way too late and he'd say I couldn't go when he got home. But that wouldn't help anything. I'd still have to face Ash sooner or later.
Joey got home just as it was almost time for Ang to go to bed. His tie was half undone but he looked happy. He must have sold some cars. He kissed Ang and nodded at me, brought her upstairs to bed and to read her a story. I sat on the couch and thought of telling Joey. Who cared if he thought I was gay? I wasn't. Bi, maybe. But maybe he'd know what to do about Ash and Marco pulling me apart.