better than heart attacks
11: masquerade
It was the smell of baking that had done it.
Despite the fact that Misa had announced oh ever-so-sunnily at six in the morning that she was going to borrow the kitchen for a bit, nobody had bothered to check up on her. There seemed to be no noises from Misa nor any of the expensive cooking equipment to suggest the girl was breaking and/or exploding things – rather, it had been the tones of some sappy love song on the radio that had drifted into the main room.
L had continued to sit in his habitual L-like manner, devouring sweet things and typing at a rough speed of one-hundred-and-twelve words per minute. Light had continued to drum his fingers against his desk, rolling his eyes at the obnoxious munching noises L was making and attempting to hack into some complex, heavily-guarded part of the Yotsuba database.
All in all, that morning had been fairly uneventful – Light got annoyed because his favourite pen had gone missing, L raised his Kira percentage by about 0.25 percent, Matsuda spilled coffee all over himself within five seconds of entering the building, Mogi shifted through random stacks of paper in a rather listless manner, L finished off sixteen packets of sour skittles and Misa continued to clatter pots and pans about in the kitchen, singing along to the radio.
Everything would've been fine if it had not been for the smell of baking. Truth be told, Light was forced to admit that the heavy aroma of pastries and the like was fairly intoxicating, but L was the greatest detective in the world three times over, for God's sake. The youth found it most unprofessional that he should be so enticed by the prospect of unhealthy food – hell, if somebody had yelled "strawberry cheesecake!" from fifty miles away he'd drool.
"There is some important business that I need to attend to. It could be crucial to the Kira case. Please excuse me," L said, bowing his head. And then, as an afterthought, "Come on, Light-kun."
Needless to say, Light was more than a little annoyed at being spoken to like some sort of pet, but what with the chain connecting his wrist to L's, he felt he didn't really have a say in the matter.
However, that didn't mean he couldn't feel pissed off.
"'Important business' to take care of, huh?" Light asked in rather sarcastic tones – maybe because he was still annoyed over the loss of his pen. It had been a nice pen and, somehow, he felt rather attached to it. "You just want to see what Misa's baking, don't you? Like hell this has anything to do with the Kira case…"
"On the contrary, Light-kun, this has everything to do with the Kira case," L replied smoothly, jerking Light along behind him with little regards for his well-being. "It gives me a chance to observe you."
"What?" Light asked, blinking very slowly. "You think knowing whether I like cookies or muffins is going to help you capture Kira?"
"No, but I do think Light-kun is being rather sarcastic. Sarcasm is something that stems primarily from anger or irritation – as this sarcasm is aimed at me, I can only assume that I have annoyed you somehow. Having a short temper is a very Kira-like trait, just like that the Lind L Tailor incident showed. You go up two percent." And, as an open-mouthed look of blatant disbelief fell across Light's face, "incidentally, Light-kun, which do you prefer? Cookies or muffins?"
A vein popped in Light's forehead.
"Up another one percent, Light-kun."
"Why, you little-"
"LIIIGGGHHTTTT!" Misa squealed, effectively cutting Light off before his rant could turn into a fistfight. "You came to visit Misa-Misa while she was baking! How sweet! I knew Light truly is the bestest-best boyfriend ever!"
"Indeed," L muttered, negotiating his way through the kitchen. Head tilted somewhat, he came to a rest beside the source of the smell – a tray of cookies, six rows with ten cookies going down each one, all carefully laid out exactly a few inches apart from one another. They had all been cut to resemble different objects – in one column, an array of grinning pumpkins. In another, a coven of witches on broomsticks.
"Oi! Don't touch those, Ryu-chan!" Misa snapped, morphing into evil dictator mode as she swatted L's spindly fingers away. "These aren't to be eaten until tonight!" And then, noticing L's downcast, kicked-puppy expression, "I made some normal ones, too. I'll go'n get 'em out the oven, kay. Just don't touch any of these while I'm gone. You look with your eyes, not your hands."
"Tonight? What's so special about tonight?" Light asked, completely disregarding Misa's wishes and picking up a cauldron-shaped cookie between the pads of his thumb and index finger.
Even though the cookies had cooled down somewhat, the brunet dropped it quickly. The sudden realisation that he begun to pick up L's odd mannerisms was a rather disturbing one – God, what if he started walking around barefoot and stopped brushing his hair? He'd end up like some sort of hobo!
Light was still cursing L inwardly when Misa returned from the oven with her promised tray of normal cookies, causing L's eyes to light up instantly.
"Don't snatch – careful, they're hot – hehe, told you so," Misa fussed, giggling slightly at L's childish antics. "Anywayyyy. Light. My gawd. Don't you know what today is?!"
"I'm afraid I don't. Would it be, by any chance, the vernal equinox?" Light asked, eyes rolling like the balls on a bagatelle board. Clearly, he didn't know what date it was and, moreover, he didn't care. Living at the headquarters for so long had made the days all run into one – it could've been early August or late December for all he knew.
"Nooooo, you silly!" Misa chastised, leaning forwards on tip-toe to ruffle Light's hair. "It's October the 31st. Candy. Dressing-up. Dead people. You know…?" Light continued to look blank. Misa sighed, and then decided to enlighten him. "Halloween."
"…Oh," Light said after a small pause, "and I care about this cheap, American holiday because?"
"Because it's funnnn!" the blonde supermodel tittered, patting Light on the head as though he suffered from a very serious mental condition. "I thought I'd decorate this place, you know, get a bit of a 'fun' vibe going on and, well… I found this reeaalllyyy cute pair of rabbit ears under my couch," and here she shot a bemused look at Ryuzaki, who was so busy eating his weight in candy he barely noticed, "and then decided: Halloween fancy dress party! Yay! Won't that be fun?!"
"Yes. Fun," L muttered in-between mouthfuls, nodding his head as though in approval. "I agree with the idea, of course. Thank you for suggesting it, Misa-san."
Light suppressed the urge to grab the whisk from the countertop and bludgeon himself to death with it. The prospect of mutilation and self-harm was far more entertaining than a Halloween party.
What joy.
Although it may have been surprising to some people, Light Yagami – the Light Yagami, head-turner, heart-breaker and all round social butterfly – had never been to a party before.
Alright, scratch that. It was not just surprising to some people. It was surprising to everyone. Even his dad was shocked at this news, and he'd lived with the boy ever since Light was born (in-between numerous crime cases and an on-going string of late nights about a mile long, of course).
"But Light," Matsuda cried, voice most incredulous. This revelation must've been pretty damn big, because his mouth was hanging open and all (unless, of course, that was his normal look, which seemed just as likely). "Surely you must have been to at least one before in your life. I mean, you're eighteen!"
Not wanting to let Matsuda down, for doing such a thing was a bit like kicking a puppy, the teen responded with a, "Yes, if you're counting my sister's ninth birthday". Not that supervising a juvenile event in which Sayu ate too much cupcake icing and was subsequently sick was in any way comparable to the wild raving Matsuda had in mind for someone his age, but whatever. It was still a party, wasn't it?
With a forced smile, Light managed to avoid yet one more of Matsuda's questions by diving for the refreshments table slightly less gracefully than he would've liked. Out of eyesight, the boy allowed his smile to droop, and then wither, eyes scanning the table and its decorative fare with disgust.
Cookies and cupcakes, a vast plethora of fizzy drinks and just enough chocolate to render a dentist dead or unconsciousness – well, at least Ryuzaki would be happy. Speaking of which…
"Hello, Light-kun," greeted the detective in his usual bored manner, some sort of gingerbread concoction pinched between his thumb and index finger. "Were you going to sample one of Misa-san's cookies?"
"No," Light replied curtly, shooting a horrified look at the offending cookie in L's hand as though it would grow fangs and bite him.
"Why not?" L asked, eyes narrowing slightly.
"Because I don't trust Misa at the best of times, especially not in the kitchen. For all I know, she could've accidentally used arsenic instead of flour for all we know."
"Are you insinuating that you acted as Kira sometime during this day and commanded Misa-san, who is under suspicion of being the second Kira, to poison these cookies, knowing of my sweet tooth and hoping I would, subsequently, eat them?"
"Are you grasping at straws here or what?" Light asked irritably, already starting to lose his patience. That must have been some sort of world record – he was only five seconds into this conversation and already he wanted to hit something. Last time it had taken roughly a minute and three seconds before that familiar emotion came up. "I've been chained to you all day – or maybe you think I can clone myself?"
"I wouldn't put it past you," L murmured, eyes blank and staring. As if making some sort of point, the spindly youth proceeded to bite down on his cookie – hard - crumbs spraying everywhere as he did so. "So, Light-kun. Why aren't you dressed up? Everybody else is."
Alas, here was a fact that Light could not disprove. Yes, everybody was dressed up, perhaps because the Halloween fancy dress party allowed for them to dispel some of the anxiety that had been running riot like the black plague. Attempting to catch a dangerous mass murder could completely rewire your 'have fun' vibe – not that Light had owned one of those to begin with. Even Mogi was dressed up (that is, if donning a pair of sunglasses and a reassurance that "I'm James Bond" counted as 'dressing up'.)
And then… Light paused, eyes snagging on L. He looked the same as ever, sallow face and messy hair, not even a pair of cheap sunglasses in sight.
"You're not dressed up either."
The hypocrite…
"Actually, Light-kun, I think you'll find yourself mistaken there," L replied, voice slow as though he were talking to someone with a mental illness. "I decided to go as something far scarier than a few hazy concepts of 'zombies' and 'vampires'-" to which Light had a strong urge to go "could've fooled me", for the deep bags under his eyes suggested otherwise on the living dead factor – "No, none of that. I decided to go as justice."
"Oh… How original," Light scoffed, folding his arms. He was just about to tell L to stick with the plastic fangs and cape – it would suit him more – but was quickly interrupted.
"Quite. And thus, this brings me to an important question. What are you dressed as?"
"I'm not. I told you I wasn't going to dress up ages ago, or weren't you listening?"
"Well, that is strange," L muttered, pressing his thumb against his lower lip. It took Light all of five seconds to realise he didn't very much like that calculating look in his eyes... "I could have sworn you were going as Kira."
It was at these words Light froze – perhaps in fury, rage or fear, L didn't know (although he preferred to believe it was the last one. Either way, he was still going up three percent).
"W… What?!" asked the boy, eyes slanted. Perhaps it was all in L's head, but they seemed distinctly redder than before… More dangerous. Of course, L was completely unfazed by this – instead he smiled gleefully on the inside and allowed Light another two percent. Because he was feeling generous.
"I thought you were dressed up as Kira," L repeated, pressing his thumb a tad harder against to lips to conceal a smirk. "You seem to exude an air of… Hmn, how should I put this? Malevolence."
"Oh, come on," Light said, attempting to keep his voice low and calm. Attempting, and failing. Damn L. "You can't profile me on what I choose to wear to a stupid party!"
"I'm sorry to correct you, Light-kun," L said, in a voice that suggested he wasn't very sorry at all. "But I'm afraid I can. Your denial only strengthens my argument – and I never said you were Kira. I only said you looked like him."
"But you don't know what Kira looks like!"
"True, but… I have always suspected that he would look like you."
"Is that so?" snarled Light, right eye twitching. "And what is your basis for that very interesting theory?"
L's eyes flashed. "Well, it's quite simple, really. All my thoughts on the matter stem primarily from one sole fact. That is… You are Kira."
What transpired next was not Light's fault. Of course, it was his fist that smashed into the detective's nose, but it was aforementioned detective himself that started it. Light was well aware that his reasoning was rather childish, but he really didn't give a damn – all that mattered was L and causing him as much pain as possible.
"Five percent, Light-kun," L said in his normal dull monotone, parrying the blow with his own fist-
"Ow! Shit!"
-and then kicking him in the head.
Meanwhile…
"Hey, Misa-Misa. Do you have any idea what they're fighting over?" asked Matsuda, watching with mild intrigue as L and Light tried to kill each other.
"Nooppe. Haven't a clue!"
a.n: l and light love each other so much :D eh, this was just a bit of senseless fun. and it took place on l's birthday! i'm sure a giant bruise on his face was /just/ what he wanted. i mean, wouldn't you? light has a knack for getting people the best presents