More angst, and it didn't end up anywhere near where I was expecting it to. But that's why we write, right?

Set after 5.08 The Playbook.

Curtail

"You meant what you said yesterday, right?"

"About what?"

"When you said that I was fun and I was one of your best friends and I have a killer body and an even killer-er blog,"

" Hmm, I'm not sure those were quite the words I used, Barney,"

"Nah, they totally were. I've got it on record. Did you really mean it?"

Because of his ridiculous, manipulative (but, she has to admit, genius) Playbook scam yesterday, Lily's tempted to tell Barney that no, she was just saying that to humour him. But that self-referential Play surely proves that he's upset about breaking up with Robin- it's another layer of defence- so she says;

"Of course I did,"

He throws her that half-smile he sometimes uses.

"But do you feel okay?" she prompts.

"Oh, God, don't start this again. I'm awesome,"

"Really?" It's all a cover-up, she thinks. He must be hurting.

"Yeah. There are other girls now," he looks at her like this is all that matters. God, he frustrates her. Why does he always insist on being Mr Invincibility? She only wants to help him.

"Come on. You just had a break-up, and that's though on anybody," Lily considers adding that it must be especially tough on him as he hasn't had a break-up in ten years- thought that'd just be reminding Barney of how bad he is at relationships, so she doesn't mention it.

"Not on the Barnacle. You see this?" Barney picks up a peanut from the bowl on the table, "This is being upset,"

He throws the peanut at himself, and it bounces off his forehead onto the floor, "See? Barely touches me. Awesome instead,"

"Don't you feel…angry or something?" Barney's angry more than he's upset, so perhaps he'll be more likely to admit to it now.

He doesn't.

"Nuh-uh. Anger?" he throws another peanut at himself and it bounces onto the seat opposite, "I don't feel anything," he brags.

Lily gives him a long, sad look. Perhaps he's right. Perhaps she's always been wrong in assuming that there was any substance beneath the suits and the cynicism and the stories. Perhaps she's been kidding herself the last eight years; telling herself that Barney's something he's not, trying to make him into something he's not.

Perhaps she's as manipulative as he is.

"Well, actually, let's amend that- I'm feeling really hot right now for that redhead chick at the bar. High-five!"

She swallows, glances from Barney to where the peanut landed on the floor, and returns the high-five. He laughs and gets up to chat to the redhead, slipping off his suit jacket and throwing it rakishly over his shoulder as he strolls towards the bar. Lily notices that the shirt Barney's wearing is the beige and grey striped one he wore the morning she persuaded him to call Robin ("What age did you get your first period?"…it was hardly the most romantic of wooings). It had taken a year for them to start dating, and it hadn't worked out because they cancelled out each other's awesome. Perhaps Barney's simply not made to be any relationship, and perhaps Lily needs to stop seeing that as a bad thing.

Lily gets up to leave, and as she does so she takes two more peanuts from the bowl and sets them carefully down on the table, right in front of where Barney was sitting.

He can take them if he wants to, but she's done forcing them down his throat.

The shirt is the one he wears in 4.01 Do I Know You? He looks damn hot in it :P

This one might be a bit controversial, so feel free to review : -)